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SWASAN – SHE’S NOT FOR ME
Heyy, It’s Anjali back with the next chapter!!!
Thnxx for comments and to my silent readers….
ALL CHAPTER LINKS :
https://www.tellyupdates.com/?s=swasan+she+not+for+meCHAPTER 29 LINK :
Sanskaar proposes to Swara
Sanskaar looked at Swara.
Sanskaar : Are you ready?
Swara turned and looked at him.
Swara : Are you?
Sanskaar : Ready? Yes. Nervous? Even more.
She took his hand in hers and kissed it.
Swara : Come on! Let’s go tell our moms.
Sanskaar (groaning) : You still feel we shouldn’t elope?
Swara : I love you, Sanskaar and I want everyone to know it. I don’t want to hide like we’ve done something wrong. There will be many people who’ll insult me…
Sanskaar (eyes flashing) : Let them dare. I’ll murder them with my bare hands.
Swara smiled and held his palm on her face.
Swara : Don’t worry about all that now. Now let me go, I’m sure your Mishti aunty is waiting for me and at home they’ll be waiting for you.
Sanskaar : I love you, Swara!
Swara got down from the car and waited until Sanskaar blew her a kiss and started the car again. She looked at the receding car and then turned around to see her brother Sahil and his wife Aparna smiling at her.
Swara : Sahil! Aparna! How long have you been here?
Sahil (smiling cheekily) : Long enough, Shonu.
Aparna : So….. Swara! Was that Sanskaar who just told you he loved you?
Swara looked down and blushed while Sahil laughed.
Sahil : Apu! Looks like I won. I get to pick the baby’s name.
Swara lifted her face and eyed Aparna’s visible stomach. 7 months along, She was simply glowing. Swara couldn’t help but think of her own kids. A boy perhaps? He would have dark hair and smiling, piercing eyes.
Swara’s breath caught. A young boy who looked just like Sanskaar. A whole horde of young boys who looked like Sanskaar.
Swara (smiling and thinking) : My new life can’t come too soon.
Sahil cleared his throat and Swara looked at him in confusion.
Swara : Kya?
Sahil (eyes open) : What do you mean kya? You’re the one who was lost in her own world thinking about God knows what.
Aparna (cheekily) : Oh come on, Honey! You know she was thinking about Sanskaar.
Swara’s blush returned with a vengance and Sahil and Aparna, Damn them, chuckled.
Swara : I should kill you both.
Sahil (putting one arm around her) : Kill your favourite brother and bhabhi?
Swara (eyes narrowing) : Who said you were? Adarsh and Parineeta win, hands down.
Sahil looked offended while Aparna laughed and hugged her sister-in-law.
Aparna : All teasing aside, Do you love him?
Swara’s eyes softened and she nodded. Sahil whooped and hugged her fiercely.
Sahil : We wanted this for you for so long. I am so glad I told Sanskaar to go after you.
Swara (surprised) : You did? You knew? You knew that he…
Sahil : That he loved you? That he’s always loved you? That he’ll always love you? Ofcourse we did.
Aparna (softly) : Not while Laksh was here. But after that, Before Sanskaar left for Paris… It was so clear and once he returned, It was all the more painful. Sahil finally told him to get over himself and to talk to you.
Swara had heard this from Sanskaar and now, She smiled.
Swara : Sanskaar told me. He…
Sharmishta : I see my baby girl has come back.
Swara looked past her brother and saw her mother beaming at her. Swara ran and bear hugged her.
Swara : I’m so sorry Ma! I have worried you a lot, I know. I…
Sharmishta : Shh! I knew nothing could happen to you. Sanskaar would never allow it. He loves you too much.
A telltale blush appeared on Swara’s cheek again.
Sharmishta : I want to talk to you. Come.
Uttara, Ragini and the rest of them came out of the house at that moment and protested.
Uttara : But, We want to talk to her too.
Sharmishta (in a voice that would brook no protests) : After I’m done.
Swara : Ma?
Sharmishta : Come, Sweetheart.
They entered her mother’s bedroom and Mishti hugged her daughter once more.
Sharmishta : Why don’t you tell me what’s worrying you?
Swara was taken aback but then she sighed.
Swara : How do you always know?
Sharmishta (chuckling) : It’s a hazard of being a mother, I’m afraid. We can almost always guess our child’s feelings. Now tell me, When you’re so happy, What is still worrying you?
Swara : You knew Sanskaar loved me?
Sharmishta : Poor boy. He fell in love with you so abruptly. I realised it a month after Laksh and you got married.
Swara raised a startled glance at her mother who saw it.
Sharmishta : Yes beta! I knew it then.
Swara : Then…
Sharmishta : Why didn’t I tell anyone? How could I, Swara? You were happy with Laksh. I couldn’t ruin three lives. I prayed so hard for Sanskaar to find another girl. I tried so much to help him. I… I tried to be there for him as much as I could.
Swara (her eyes moist) : And then Laksh passed away.
Sharmishta : And then Laksh passed away. Everyone was too fragile and raw from the grief. Sanskaar and you especially. It was not the right time to talk to you. I never knew if there would be a right time to talk about it. I couldn’t ask Sanskaar. The pain he must have undergone to keep it a secret.. I couldn’t let him realise that I knew. He needed that last shred of pride.
Swara : Sahil knew.
Sharmishta smiled and sat on the bed, Swara kneeling on the floor with her head on her mother’s lap.
Sharmishta : Sahil and Sanskaar are very alike. Sahil just found the right person and now, Sanskaar has too. But all this doesn’t tell me what you are worried about.
Swara sat up straight and looked at her.
Swara : Sahil, Aparna, you… You’ve all told me how much Sanskaar loves me. I know how much he loves me. I love him too. I love him so much. But, How will I ever love him as much as he loves me? Can I love him that much? He waited six years for me, Ma! He understands me, He knows everything about me but I couldn’t even realise. What if somewhere we end up hurt? I don’t know if I’m capable of loving him so much or if I deserve his whole heart. I don’t know what to do. On one hand, I know I can’t live without him and on the other… On the other, What if he wants more and I’m unable to give it to him?
Sharmishta looked at her daughter, first with surprise, then with empathy and love. She knew how difficult it was for Swara to tell her everything in her mind. Swara was never the sort to talk about her feelings.
Sharmishta : Swara darling! Love isn’t something you can measure. Sanksaar loves you about 20 litres. You love him 19.5 litres. That’s not how it works.
Despite herself, Swara giggled.
Sharmishta : See, You can see the ridiculousness yourself. Yes, Sanskaar has loved you for a long time and has loved only you and no one else. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve him. He’s chosen you as his happiness. He’s chosen you to be his strength. He wants you, Sweetheart. As for you… I don’t think you love him any less. This may feel different than how you loved Laksh and it may be different from how Sanskaar loves you, but it’s not any less. You love him in your own way and you’re true to him. Only that matters.
Swara : I once asked you if you ever thought of remarriage and you said you had but it would never have worked out. Why didn’t it?
Sharmishta (looking at her late husband’s portrait on the wall) : I’ve had one great love in my life. Shekar gave me everything. A love like none other, A wonderful house, My marvellous children. I was broken-hearted when he died. But you kids were there. I had you and that was all that mattered. I considered marriage many times, but I never agreed because I didn’t love them.
Swara : So there was only one love for you?
Sharmishta (smiling) : There are many men out there who might love and who I might love too. But I will not marry them unless they could give me the love Shekar had for me. I might be alone or I might end up with someone but I will not settle for anything less.
Swara nodded and hugged her mother again. She kissed her on the cheek.
Sharmishta : One more thing. It’s a privilege to get two loves like you have, beta. It’s a chance that people, even when they get it, They might not see it. Laksh was a great man and I loved him and Sanskaar is no different. You are fortunate to get him, Swara. But he’s equally fortunate to have you. Don’t ever think that you’re not a catch for you are.
Swara : I understand. I’ll never think this way again. Sanskaar.. He’s the one for me. He’s mine.
Sharmishta : Ofcourse he is. Now shall we go before Uttara burns the door down?
They laughed and went outside together.
Sanskaar parked in the driveway and sat inside the car for a moment. He thought of the conversation he needed to have and swallowed.
Sanskaar : Alright Sanskaar Maheshwari. You are courageous. You managed to tell Swara you love her. You can go talk to your mothers. Even if they’re not happy, You can do your best. Go on.
He stepped down and went inside the house.
Sanskaar : Mom! Badi Ma!
Annapurna (smiling widely) : Sanskaar beta! You’re back. Where is Swara? How are you? Come in. SUJATA! Sanskaar’s back. Come soon.
Sanskaar hugged his mothers and listened to their admonishments with a smile. They all sat down and spoke of inane matters for a while.
Sanskaar : I… I have to tell you both something.
Sujata (surprised) : Oh! Tell beta!
Sanskaar : I told Swara I love her and asked her to marry me. She accepted my proposal. We want to get married.
Both the women looked at him shocked.
Annapurna : You love her?
Sujata : She said yes?
Sanskaar nodded and told the entire story. He told them how much he loved her, how he had escaped to Paris to try and move on, how he failed. He told them how he went to Parna to try and convince Swara, how she realised she too loved him. He told them everything. Finally he sat down and watched them anxiously.
After what seemed like an eternity, Sujata smiled, stood up and hugged her son.
Sujata : Finally, You got the sense to go after your heart. I was so shocked when I realised that you loved Swara but I didn’t want to tell you that I knew. Sanskaar, Swara will make you very happy. I am so pleased for you.
Sanskaar grinned and hugged her again. She scolded him for keeping it a secret and they chatted for a few more minutes before he realised that Badi Ma wasn’t in the living room with them.
His heart sank but his mother placed a reassuring pat on his shoulder.
Sujata : Go to her after sometime. . She misses her son but I know she’ll be happy seeing her other son. Go and listen to her.
Sanskaar nodded and waited for three hours before going to Badi Ma’s study. She stood staring in front of Laksh’s portrait.
Sanskaar (softly) : Badi Ma! Are you not happy? Did I hurt you?
Annapurna turned and smiled at her younger son.
Annapurna : You are my son. You cannot hurt me. Come in, Sanskaar.
She sat on a chair and cupped Sanskaar’s cheeks as he kneeled besides her.
Annapurna : Beta! I admit, I was completely shocked and taken aback when you told that you’ve loved Swara for six years. Though Sujata says she realised, I’m sorry that I never did. I never expected it.
Sanskaar : You’re not happy?
Annapurna (shaking her head) : I never said that. Just because I’m shocked doesn’t mean I don’t accept your choice. I’ve had some time to think about it and now that I have, I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. I do not understand telepathy or any other supernatural beliefs, and to tell the truth, I have no patience for those who claim that they do, but there is an understanding between the two of you, a meeting of the minds and souls that exists on a higher plane. You were born for each other.
Sanskaar (his eyes widening) : Badi Ma!
Annapurna : Yes, Sanskaar! I’ll agree this is very difficult for me to tell. Swara was Laksh’s wife. I miss Laksh every single day. He still lives on in my heart, and I feel his presence every day. I mourn my son, and I shall always do so.
Sanskaar (gently) : I do too. He was my brother. He is my brother and I miss him so much. I know Swara does too.
Annapurna (smiling) : You have no idea how comforting that is to me. Laksh once told me, he just wants his family to be happy. He would have traversed the universe to make sure that happened. If Swara’s and your happiness lie with each other, then you should be together. My blessings are with you, My son.
Sanskaar blinked the tears that appeared in his eyes. He took his Badi Ma’s soft hands and kissed them.
Sanskaar : Thank you.
Annapurna shook her head once again and tousled his hair.
Annapurna : It is I who should thank you. Thank you for loving your brother so much that you were ready to sacrifice your happiness. Thank you for allowing Laksh to love her.
Sanskaar just nodded, unable to say a thing and hugged her tightly. His mom entered the room at that time and he gathered them both for a group hug.
Annapurna : Sujata! Our son is getting married. Let’s begin the preparations.
PRECAP : Wedding
I’m sorry once again for the delay…..
Hope you liked this chapter. This is the penultimate chapter mostly. I don’t want to prolong this story because I feel it’s reached the end of a beautiful saga.
Look at me, Blabbering and praising myself. 😛 😛 😛
I’ll post the last chapter and an epilogue after that.