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“Because I slept with Ishaan…”
She what? I couldn’t believe what I’ve just heard. She slept with whom? Ishaan… I don’t believe this. Mainly because she didn’t even know who Ishaan was! I clearly don’t remember introducing them after the accident.
“You what?” I asked making sure I heard the right thing.
Just say no. Say you did not do it. Say you’re lying… I prayed, while she looked down at her fingers.
“I’m sorry, but I did. I met him the most day you left for the trip, and then we kinda started hanging out with each other…and one day…we just…got carried away. I mean, I can’t leave him now…” She said.
At that moment, I felt like somebody had snatched out my heart from my body. Like somebody was stabbing it with thousand knives…and that somebody was Swara. She was hurting me.
I let her go… I no longer was holding her close. I didn’t want to… I felt so unwanted, stupid and foolish… I was angry…
“I’m sorry, Sanskar.” She said. Sorry? Does she even know what the f**k that means?
I didn’t reply. I just stared somewhere else trying to process out everything.
“I did not mean to hurt you but –” She started again but I cut her off.
“Shut up.” I said trying to keep calm since we were in public. I was not at all interested in listening to her apology and her saying how sorry she was.
“Don’t you dare blame me for leaving. I left, because I had no other option. But you. . .you slept with someone else. He didn’t force you, you did it by yourself. So don’t call me a cheater. It’s you…who has cheated, so shut it, and get the hell out of my life.” I said.
She sighed and was about to say something, but I interrupted her.
“Don’t. Just get lost.” I said.
To my surprise, she didn’t even seem affected by whatever I said. She just gave me a cold look and stormed off.
I sat inside my car, banging the door so loudly, that I grabbed a few eyeballs. But I didn’t care… I still couldn’t get over the fact that Swara cheated on me. That too, with whom? None other than Ishaan…
I felt like shooting him right in his head. He knew about Swara’s condition. He knew she didn’t remember anything, but yet, he f**king slept with her. I felt miserable. I didn’t want to see both their faces…
I was used like a paper and thrown away in a bin,and the one who did this to me was none other than the girl I gave my heart to — Swara.
I drove home, speeding, earning angry looks from people on the road. I barged into the house only to see Laksh and Ragini sitting on the couch.
News travels fast. . .
“What are you doing here? Came to show me how sorry you are?” I asked, heading up to my room. I didn’t bother closing the door behind, because I knew they were coming in anyway.
“Are you okay?” Ragini asked. Ofcourse, I am not. . .
“Ofcourse, I am.” I said, fiddling with my phone.
They sighed and sat in front of me.
“I’m sorry, man. But I still think Swara would not do anything like that…” Laksh said. I laughed a little at how stupid he was…
“Yeah, well, guess what? Even I thought so. But she herself said that she did.” I said.
“What? I don’t believe this…why would she? You’ve to talk to her!” He said. Before I could reply, Ragini interrupted.
“I guess something’s wrong. She won’t sleep with him. She only knows him since three weeks!” She said.
“But he knows her since three years.” I stated.
“I’m gonna talk to Ishaan about this. He can’t just come in between two of you.” He said, but I stopped him at once.
“No. You’re not going to talk to him.” I said.
“Do you even realize what has happened?” He asked.
“I do, okay? I do realize that the girl I loved slept with somebody else. But its not only Ishaan’s fault…it’s Swara’s too.” I said.
There was a long silence that followed .
“Are you not gonna fight for her now?” Ragini asked.
“No. I’m done fighting for her. I’m done hoping on someone who doesn’t even love me back. I’m done fighting against my destiny…and now, she is not even worth it all.” I said.
“I don’t know what to believe, but you just have to know that I’ll be always there for you…” Laksh said.
“Everything is going to be okay….” Ragini assured, even though we all knew what was the consequence of Swara’s one confession. I just nodded.
“Thanks. But I just need sometime alone.” I said. They understood and walked out.
That was it. . .that was when I broke. I didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. I had lost all my hope and dreams. She was gone. . .again. This time, I guessed, forever. The difference was, this time, I wasn’t going to fight for her. This time, I wasn’t going to love her. . .
I cried. I cried like a baby. I couldn’t hold it back. Sometimes, even your cries, screams and shouts don’t seem enough. You cry till your eyes swell, you scream till you lose your voice…but the pain doesn’t go away. It still remains in your heart. And to heal, you ought to be strong from the inside. For me, that time, it seemed next to impossible…but I had no other option.
I looked at an old picture of Swara. I kept looking at it, relieving those moments we spent together. And then, suddenly, it dawned upon me, that the Swara from the photograph is dead. . . She was dead to me.
“I hate you. . .” I said, tearing the photograph into pieces. . .
Swara’s pov ~~
I hate myself. . .
Why did I say that? How could I say that? I’m such a bl**dy b***c…
I cursed myself for doing something I never even dreamt of. I f**king told Sanskar that I slept with Ishaan. . .
I lied. . .
I didn’t sleep with Ishaan, and I never will. Hell, I didn’t even have any feelings for him!
It didn’t matter to me, how much rude I was to everyone, how much of a b***c I had become, even I knew that I hadn’t changed from inside. Because when I saw that look on his face when I told him that I slept with Ishaan… I felt miserable. Even worse than that.
I hated myself for being such a big fat liar. But then, I went home and thought about it once again. . .
‘I lied. I was wrong. But he, he cheated on me as well. Wasn’t that wrong?’ I thought as I recollected how Ishaan told me that Sanskar cheated on me several times. And that’s when I realized the reason for my big fat lie. . .
I lied, because he did. He kept secrets in the first place. He didn’t tell me about Ishaan. He didn’t tell me that he cheated on me before.
He had made such huge, unforgivable mistakes, and yet, he expected me to be faithful and understanding.
Ishaan was right. I should’ve never trusted him. I went to meet him, only to finish off the things between us, and now that it’s done, I don’t think there is any need to stay in touch with him.
Although I told Ragini about whatever happened back at café, I just didn’t tell her that I lied, because I knew she won’t keep her mouth shut, and soon, Sanskar would know soon too. To avoid all this mess, I decided to go with the flow.
It was almost night time, almost 8:30. I crashed on my bed, as the doorbell rang. Heck. Whenever I was comfortable in my bed, the doorbell had to ring. I mentally cursed the person standing outside and opened the door…only to be greeted by Laksh.
“Hi! How are you?” He asked, giving me a quick hug.
“Alive…since the last time I checked. What’s up?” I asked, walking in, as he followed and plopped down on the sofa.
“You don’t know what’s up? Other than you sleeping with Ishaan, even I don’t know what’s up!” He said. I saw that one coming…
“If you’re here for Sanskar, then please feel free to leave. I am not talking about it.” I said.
“You’re just running away! Do you even realize what you’ve done? Sleeping with someone else when you already have a boyfriend? What is wrong with you?” I asked.
“You want to talk about me sleeping with Ishaan. Fine then. I don’t think I did anything wrong.” I said.
“You dont know what you’ve done to him. He’s…he’s broken. I’ve never seen him like this before…” He said.
“He deserved it.” I said and his expression changed suddenly. He was looking at me like he was looking at someone else…some other girl…
“When did you become so insensitive? Why?” He asked.
Insensitive. No, I was worse than that. I deserved all the hate in the world for spoiling Sanskar’s life with that one lie..but I guess, he deserved it too…
“Yes, I’m insensitive, okay? I know, I’m a b***c! I don’t have any feelings for anybody! I smoke all day, I drink, I sleep with other guys…that’s all I do! Isn’t this you want to hear? You heard it now. Just leave me alone!” I exclaimed. He didn’t say anything, but got up and walked a little closer.
“You love him. . .” He said.
“No! I don’t!” I cried and let the tears slip. He sighed and wrapped his arms around me.
“Why are you doing this? I know this is not you… Something has changed you. I don’t know what…but Swara, you need to know that I love you and want you to be happy. Just tell me whatever it is…” He said.
He rubbed my back and held me back.
“Okay… If that’s what you want …but one day, I’m sure that you’re going to see how much Sanskar loves you, and you are going to accept it and love him back. Destiny will play it’s game and bring you two back together. All I want you for now, is you to take care of yourself.” He said and after a long time, I felt comforted and loved. He grabbed the packet of cigarettes from the table.
“Try to quit. We want you alive.” He said, before engulfing me in a hug and walking out.
Tired, I sat back on sofa. I buried my face in my palms and thought of everything that would’ve happened of I had not gotten into that accident.
We would’ve been happily engaged. But then again, I would have been living a lie…
Next update : Confrontation ?❤
Relieved guys? Swara was lying! And there’s only one reason behind this. Ishaan, he is messing up with her head and the memory jar.
And thanks for the love and support. Keep going !!
Credit to: Anu