Without Words — A Ragsan OS

“Ankahi Baatein”

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He’s grinning on stage surrounded by people from his field. Why not he? He’s been waiting for this day for ages and now finally he’s living his dream. He’s been promoted in his job, his passion, his life.

My hands still not tired with the claps continue to cheer for him. I am happy. Of course I am. I should be. He has waited for this day his entire life and now he’s here, accepting his promotion letter with the award for saving 60 people from a terrible bomb blasting. He’s superman, isn’t he? Always ready to help people.

‘Lucky me, I don’t have a personal life.’ He had said once. Yes, Lucky you. You never had to compromise your job life, never until I entered into your life. You also have said that, indirectly.

The loud cheers divert my mind back to the stage. There he’s grinning again. He can’t control his emotions. Not right now. His eyes trail the crowd in front of him in search of a very near person I guess. Yes, indeed they are. His eyes get their desire piece of attention, Laksh. He smiles broadly at him. Laksh is clapping harder than anyone else in the crowd. He’s literally jumping in excitement. He’s brother has been promoted afteral. He keeps staring Laksh for a while and I again wonder around my dreamland.

Numerous times in numerous different ways he has told me how important I am in his life. But never directly. Late night dinner, night walks, pretty gifts, romantic movies, soft musics- all bearing a significant messages, but never a ditect one. I never get tired. I won’t get tired. Without words he is with me and I will be with him without words too. But-

“Many many congratulations.” Loud mike voice gains my attention again. I realize I am still staring at Laksh. I look away and focus my eyes on stage again, on him. I catch his eyes looking at me, smiling politely. He raises his eyebrows indicating I need to cheer more. Opps! I had stopped clapping. I clap again, smiling at him. But I need to congratulate him separately. Well, I will do that. I have even got a very nice present for him. I grin at the thought. He sure gonna like that.

He is engulfed in hugs from different persons at a time, blocking my way to look at him. I step back and find myself a corner to stand. A waiter serve me a glass of orange juice. He’s busy in talking with higher rank officers. I am busy with my phone. Last time we talked, it’s three days from now. The news of his promotion was out three days ago. I had run to the Bureau to congratulate him but he wasn’t there, neither he’d been in bureau for next three days. I never had got the chance to congratulate him. I left a message but he didn’t reply. Might be busy he was. Very busy.

I try to chase him a couple of time the whole evening but he’s busy. He is higher. I see him talking with the officers near the buffet. It seems he’s trying to convince them something. May be he’s trying to tell them he’s not hungry! At the end, he gives up taking foods in his plate.

Ragini… come, let’s go have the dinner.” Kavya says.

“I am not hungry.” I smile.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. You carry on.”

“Okay.” She leaves.

He’s nowhere to be seen when I turn around but then I watch him coming towards me. I smile at him. He’s already smiling. But before he could reach me a man in black comes and shakes his hand with him. And then they starts their conversation. The conversation is must be very interesting ’cause he never look back at me during the whole time.

I smile weakly and look at my surrounding. I need to leave. I am not fitting here. I am feeling suffocated.

“Kavya, I am leaving.”

“Now? Have you congratulated Sanskar sir yet?”

“No.. I will do it later. I am not feeling well. And he’s very busy right now. So, will you inform others if they ask?’

“Sure. Take care.”

“Good night.”

“Night.” She hugs me.

I haven’t brought my car so I need to hire a taxi. But I am feeling to have a night walk, alone. I start walking.

Will he be the same? With so many pressure? He hardly could give me times before. What will happen now. I can’t fit in his life anymore. Will he want to be with me anymore. No not because of superiority but his responsibilities. I had a hard time making him understand his job didn’t matter to me and still he wouldn’t let me in his life completely. Now, will he? With so many responsibilities and dangers. He will walk away from me again. How will I hold him back in my life? Do I really want to hold him back in my life?

Uff! My heels are giving troubles. I take them off and hold them in my hands. I walk along the sea.

‘I love seas and I love them more with you beside me.’ Oh! His flirts! Will he continue flirting with me in bureau? Won’t it look weird? That will ruin his personality. Flirt didn’t suit his previous post too but he did it anyways. But he should care now. He will care now.

Deep inside me, somewhere in my dark soul I am not happy and this is making me to feel guilt. I didn’t know I could be this much selfish. But I am happy. It’s just if he… if he don’t- leave me? Yeah, if he just don’t leave me, stay with me like he used to be. Duties and time, I can manage. I just need him in all phases of my life, for some moments not for entire occasions. Will he be there?

‘Ragini, you shouldn’t wonder around at night like this.’ His commanding voice click my mind.

Oh yeah, it’s getting late. I should be at home. With hopes I check my phone again but no, not a single message or any calls from him. I throw the phone inside my bag and just then the small box catches my attention. Oh, his gift. I open the box to reveal a beautiful ring. I know his choice, it’s simple. I know he will like it. But no, I am going to give him this, not right now. I need to think straight and read his mind again. Sure, he was giving me hints before but what about now? What if he had changed his decision already. I don’t want to be rejected. That will crush my all hopes.

It’s strange my eyes are still dried. May be my heart is still beating for him. Well, it always does! May be it’s not believing the shits my mind trying to make it understand. I throw the box inside again, chained my purse and walk towards my home, heels still in my hands.

I reach the main gate of my house and see him sitting there, on the stairs, his phone in his hand. His total concentration is on his phone. I haven’t make any sound but he looks up at me and then he stands up. I cross the distance and reachh near him.

“Hi.” he says.

“Hi… What are you doing here?”

“Waiting for you.” He shows me his phone. The GPS is on and he’s tracking me. His and my numbers of dots are now together, “Was keeping an eye on you.” He whispers, lingering close to my ear.

“When did you arrive?”

“10 minutes ago.”

“The ceremony’s finished?” I ask unlocking the door.

“Almost. I need a coffee. Am I welcomed?”

“You are always welcomed.” I say turning towards him.

“I know… Er, I am little hungry too.”

So he hadn’t his dinner completely.

“Hmm?”

“You left without dinner.”

“You noticed?”

“I was looking at you all the while. I never got the chance to say-”

“To say?”

“How stunning you look in this black dress.” He flirts.

“Thanks,” I blush.

“And you never congratulated me.”

“Sanskar…..”

“Sshh, come. Let’s go inside.” He slips his left hand around my waist and guided me inside.

Bin kuch kahe I need to hear he has cleared everything. Like, his flirts never gonna be stopped, neither his sudden visits to my home. Without words I need to soothe my heart he has made me feel secure.

I make coffe for both of us and we talk over coffee. The dinner’s forgotten. We talk, not about the function and his promotion, not about my insecurities or his promises. Without words they are secured and promised. Without words, just by being beside each other.

But after all these, I am still scared to give him his present. I congratulate hin with a hug and he isn’t satisfied at all.

“Bas itna hi? No gifts, nothing?”

“What do you want tell me?”

“Whatever you have got for me.”

“I have got nothing for you.” I lie.

He smiles and his phone rings. He receives the call and keep talking. I feel sleepy. He’s talking long. I don’t know when I fall asleep but when I wake up at morning I find myself in my bed. He isn’t around. He never stays so he must had left at night. My eyes catch the sight of a paper on my bed side table. There’s a box too. I read-

“Ragini,

I wanted to say so many things last night but when I saw your condition I couldn’t speak a word. I know what’s going on in your mind but trust me I am the same Sanskar you have been knowing for years. Nothing’s changed. Only thing I would like to say you now is, with the increasing responsibilities of my job I want take one more responsibility willingly. I don’t know how I am gonna fulfill them but I will try my best and with you beside me it will be easier. If it’s a yes I would be waiting for your gift which you haven’t given me yet.

Sanskar…

I read and re read the letter. Is he proposing me? After all this time? Now? And that’s too with a letter? If I hadn’t slept last night may be he would say these things in person. I open the box and find a beautiful ring. I smile.

This is really a unique idea to propose and a unique time too. I need to think something different for him too, without words, expressing the deep feeling just the way he had done. Without words he needs to hear I have to say him yes. Without words.

                            The end

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Don’t forget to leave a review. And btw, its oneshot and it’s finished. So don’t ask to continue, it will ruin the concept if I write next chapter:)

Sorry guys for not updating my other FFs. Actually I’m busy these days. But I’ll regular from next month..

Take care, stay happy, stay healthy and stay blessed…..