Will you be without me? Chapter 19

Why do I miss him so much?

Pragya actually was still staying in Pune as she had no new projects to carry out. So she was just roaming around the same places that she went with Abhi and was reminiscing about the moments that she spent with him. Although Abhi did called Pragya almost every day and talked to her but she still felt sad. She was missing him badly and she knew that this was not right!

Why do I miss him so much? It’s not friendship that I have with him then why? Is it love? No!!! It shouldn’t be but why again and again I am just going to the places that I brought him?

It was night time that day….
Abhi called Pragya”U still haven’t slept yet?” Pragya”Not sleepy! How about u?” Abhi”Same here that’s why I called u! Actually I am kind of missing the days that we spent together….” Pragya in her mind, so he was also missing but did he miss me or just the enjoyment we had together? Shall I ask him? No! If I ask him then he may get suspicious…
Pragya”Oh I see…” Abhi”What you see? I am telling that I am missing you and you are saying like this!!” Pragya so he really did miss me just like what I am going through…Pragya”I don’t know what to say that’s why I said like that…” Abhi”Haan its ok…I think someone is calling me and u go and sleep. We shall talk tomorrow!”

Their conversation ended but Pragya’s thoughts on him never ended. Pragya was thinking so he really missed me but this missing and all will only give pain and wounds and how am I going to face all this! I really don’t want all this…

Imagine there is a dream sequence of Pragya singing about her feelings to Abhi with a unknown pleasure and wound….(It’s a Tamil song…)

minnum pani chaaral uL nenjjil saerndhdhaaLae
kaNNil unnai vaithu peN thaithuk koNdaaLae
veNNilaath thoovi thaan kaadhal sonnaaLae
malligai vaasam un paechchil kaNdaaLae
pon maan ivaLaa un vaanavillaa

She united like those sparkling drizzles of snow into the deepest parts of your heart,
She imprisoned you in her eyes and sealed it tight,
She sprinkled moon dust and expressed her love,
She felt the fragrance of jasmines in your words,
Is she a golden deer? or is she your rainbow?

Pragya’s singing starts here….
unakkuL naanae urugum iravil
uLLathai naan sollavaa
marugum manadhin ragasiya aRaiyil
othigai paarthidavaa
chiRuga chiRuga unnil ennai
tholaithu mozhi sollavaa
sollaa sollum ennai vaattum
raNamum thaenallavaa

At those nights when I melt with your feelings,
How can I express the state of my heart?
In the secret chambers of my lamenting heart,
Can I rehearse our love?
Or shall I tell you in words how I slowly lost myself in you!
Ain’t the excruciating pain cast by your unspoken words sweet too (like elixir)
aenoa nam poy vaarthai thaan
aen adhil un en maunamae thaan
udhattil sirippai thandhdhaay
manadhil ganathai thandhdhaay
oru muRai unnai
enakkendRu Svaasikkavaa
maRumuRai unnai
pudhidhaaga Svaasikkavaa

Why is that in our lying words,
Why in it is the silence between my words and yours?
You left a smile on my lips,
You gave a heaviness in my heart,
Can I breathe you in once for myself?
And again, as fresh as new, can I breathe you in again?

theeppoal thaenpoal salanamae thaan
madhi en nimmadhi sidhaiyavaedhaan
nizhalai vittu chendRaayae
ninaivai vittu chendRaayae
ini oru piRavi unnoadu vaazhndhdhidavaa
adhu varai ennai kaaRRoadu saerthidavaa

Like the fire, and the honey, is the state of my agitated mind,
and in it the solace of my intellect gets shattered,
You left your shadow with me,
You left your memories with me,
Can I live another lifetime with you?
until then I shall blend into the air you breathe?

This pain or wound of missing you that you have given to my heart is very sweet to me Abhi…And how can I tell you that….when I myself for the first time feeling something like love….Is this love or something else? I am not sure but imagining you and feeling about you is such a pleasant feeling and I want this for all my lifetime…Will it happen? Abhi on the other hand feel something different too after saying to Pragya that he is missing her. He is also thinking why did I tell her like that? She will be feeling very bad about it and I should apologise to her tomorrow for that! But why should I apologise since it’s just my feelings that I have told. He was also not sure but he had no one to ask why he is feeling like this…Will the feelings for each other make them closer when they meet again? for that u all have to wait for the next update….

I am really sorry for the late update as I was troubled by my Thermodynamics lab reports…so sorry and ya this is the first time i am using a tamil song…and its a kind of old song too … but i think it suits the situation… if its not nice so sorry for that!!