1. Dressed for glory
Of course such greater beings will not adhere to normal human trends of wearing comfortable clothes day in and day out. The concept of pyjamas is lost on them. A fully made-up face and all the jewellery they own piled up is the way they like to go to sleep.
2. Immortal beings
Death is not an issue for the Greats from the ‘Land of the Indian TV Serials’. You’ll see them surviving for centuries, not gaining any extra wrinkles, teaching the grandchildren of their grandchildren about the ways of life.
3. Resurrection from the dead
Again, death is hardly an obstacle when they can just come back from the dead. Or in most cases, just a minor accident which resulted in long term memory loss.
4.Powers of Extreme Dramatizations
If you crave to be a part of this marvellous world of superhuman beings, then you must prepare yourself for a whole spectrum of extreme reactions – the loud gasps, the over-the-top snarky retorts, the reverberating slaps, the dropped thalis, the swooning womenfolk, etc.
5. Crazy Makeup Skills
In this world, a person’s appearance changes drastically and in direct correlation with their character. The more evil a person gets, the more makeup she puts on and/or the hotter she dresses. For example, the Other Woman = crazy eyeshadow; the Evil Saas = shitloads of jewellery.
6. Extravagance equalling the gods
For every small festival, every minor incident as insignificant as some little brat passing an exam, every ignorable detail like little some useless havan warrants a celebration rivalling the wedding party of Salman Khan’s lesser known sister.
7.Time Travel Experts
While the timeline in this wondrous world of all things impossible takes a leap forward to 20 years later, it’s surprising to see that basically none of the characters look like they have aged even a day. Yes, they might dress slightly differently, but not a single extra grey hair on their heads, not a single kilo of weight gain or loss, not a single new wrinkle on those perfectly made up faces will appear. Truly, this is divine television.
8.The Land of the humshakals
But there are downs as well in the amazing land of Indian TV serials where anything might happen. Almost everybody has a humshakal, and almost every humshakal is an evil and manipulating monster, who wants to kill the original and take his/her place in the ‘palace of awesome’. But in certain cases a person’s humshakal can be their own offspring. Who was probably lost in the kumbh mela or something really original.
9.Superhuman Efficiency
Coming back to the pros, because there are mostly pros in this dimension. Nobody has to really go to college, to top their class, or go to office to nail really important deals. Teenagers who are seen to spend almost every waking moment sitting at home and gossiping with their ancient great-great-grandparents seem to magically top their entire college, without ever actually having to go to college or studying. Businessmen get themselves crazy impossible deals without having to do much other than a powerpoint presentation, which frankly even a 8th standard kid could do.
10.Powers of Divination
The sudden extinguishing of the all-mighty diya, the breaking of a glass, the imminence of a loud thunderstorms – these are all signals intimating towards bad times that are coming, which can be interpreted by almost every Tom, Dick and Harry in this alternate dimension.
11. Powers of Recurring Loop
Don’t think that those belonging to this superhuman dimension are devoid of basic human traits. These guys are so well-equipped in programming and coding, that they will create a perfect recurring loop for you every time someone is slapped, someone is shocked, someone enters a house, someone yells, “STOP THIS WEDDING!”, so on and so forth(the typical what! is always ready)
12. Absurdly large families
I am always amazed at how so many people can be accommodated in one house. What is even more surprising is how easily room is made for any added member. Do all middle-class Indians live in palaces?
13.Powers of Extreme Tolerance
In this dimension, the protagonist bahu is never seen to go bad, no matter what amount of shit hand is dealt to her by luck, her scheming mother-in-law, her evil stepsister, and the b*t*h who is eyeing her husband. Talking about putting forward the other cheek when slapped, even Mahatma Gandhi couldn’t have such superpowers of tolerating BS.
14.the power of transformation
Once a character is killed off, they may return to the show with a completely new face. Even the height, eye colour, and voice are different. Under some circumstances, the said character returns having suffered memory loss. This character thus remembers nothing except the latest fashion trends, of course.
15. Endless affairs
In every soap, there must be at least one extra-marital affair, and every extra-marital affair has to produce an illegitimate child. I would have thought that science had progressed enough to take care of that. But it seems that in the world of Indian soaps, the plastic surgeons are much more advanced than the gynaecologists.
16.The crazy math of money
Rich folk can lose their money if they screw up one deal out of the millions they conduct every day. They are shunted to a small house if one of their 50 factories catches fire. Meanwhile, the women may not have beds to sleep in, but they have gold jewellery that they can wear even as they do the dusting and sweeping.