Unconditional love: swasan (chapter 23)

Sanskar finds Swara’s phone kept over the note.
Sanskar: where is Swara and if she is not here, phone should be with her but she forgot. Now how will I have contact with her. (He thinks to call Ragini. He dials her number.) hello!
Ragini: hello jiju! How are you? and how is di! I know you always keep her happy.
Sanskar: what? You didn’t met Swara? Where are you?
Ragini: I am at home only. But why are you investigating like a CBI officer?
Sanskar: nothing, I am sorry! Actually I have something important to do. I will call you later, bye!

Ragini: bye! (cuts the phone and is feeling weird. Sanskar feels restless and thinks.)
Sanskar: where did she go? Why she did not inform anyone? At least she could tell me. I know well that she has no friends except me. (his heart starts pounding suddenly) oh no! has she gone for ever? No, this can’t happen. She can’t go without telling me anything. She can’t go without meeting me. (sits on floor and cries) I always knew that one day she will surely go from here but not in this way. Tumhare dil ka darwaaza to mere liye kabhi khula hi nahin. Swara please come back Swara! (stands up and breaks all the things in the room. His hand is bleeding but he is lost in thoughts and shouts) Swara! You can’t go just like that. You always said that we will remain best friends for ever. You broke your promise Swara! (notices the paper and picks it. he starts reading)

Letter: “Sanskar! I don’t know how to start. Mein buri nahin, bure to tum bhi nahin ho, bas wo waqt bura tha jab hum donon miley or phir sab kuch bura hota chala gaya. Tum kisi ache waqt mein nahin mil sakte the mujhe? Sanskar! I wanted to tell you that I love you. I love you more than myself. Kya kya nahin kiya mein ne tumhare saath par tum mujh se naraz hona to dur ki baat, kabhi unchi awaaaz se baat tak nahin ki. Mein ne bohat koshish ki apne aap ko rokne ki par tum theek kehte the ke dil par kisi ka zor nahin chalta. Ye to Azad hota hai na. tum meri sochon par or mere wajood par phelte gaye. Ab to aayine mein bhi tumhara hi chehra dikhta hai. Tumhare baghair jeene ka sochti hun to saans rukne lagti hai.

But this world and its people are very cruel. They will never let us live together. DP gave me two options either choose your family or Sanskar. I can’t live without you and I can’t see my family dying in front of me. Mein ne to kabhi socha bhi nahin tha ke zindagi mein aisa morh bhi aaye ga. I can’t live with you neither can I live without you. bas ab ek hi hal hai ke mein khud ko khatam kar lun to yeh saari takleef apne aap khatam ho jaaye gi. I am sorry Sanskar! I know that you love me a lot but I have no other option. Mein ne bohat soch samajh kar ye qadam uthaya hai. I am sorry that I went away without meeting you but I didn’t wanted to fall weak this time. Rest of this is recorded in this phone. Please listen it. this is my only last wish.
Your love Swara”

(paper falls from the hands of Sanskar and tears roll down his cheeks. He takes the phone and plays the recording.)

Recording: “Sanskar I love you. I love you so much! I have taken this step because I can’t bear the pain of separation from you. bhagwan shayad mujhe saza dena chahte the. Jo kuch mein ne tumhaare saath kiya, shayad who chahte the ke mein tum se zyada mein tadpun. Kabhi ye dua mein ne kit hi ke tum hamesha tadpo but it happened opposite. You are very good and I am very bad. Wada karo mujh se ke mere marne ke baad tum jeena nahin choro ge aur na hi koi pagalpan dikhao ge. Tum ne to bohat pyaar kiya hai na mujh se, to ek last wish puri kar do. Mein chahti hun ke tum jeeo. Mere liye, hamare liye. Or haan agar meri dead body mil jaaye to Ragini se kehna mujhe dulhan ki tarah sajaye. Tumhara diya mangalsutrah saath le kar jaa rahi hun. Kuch der ke liye wo ehsaas mehsus karna chahti hun jo tum hamesha feel karte the. Mujhe marna manzoor hai per tum se alag hona nahin. Isi liye itna bara qadam uthaya hai taa ke marne tak tumhara naam mere saath rahe or marne ke baad bhi jab koi yaad kare to tumhare naam ke saath. Apna bohat khayal rakhna or please Ragini ko sanbhal lena. Mujh se bohat pyaar karti hai who. Please take care of my family. Mujhe tum se apni jaan se bhi zyada pyaar hai. Mujhe kabhi mat bhulana bas dil ke ek kone mein thori si jaga de dena. Kisi achi ladki se shaadi kar lena.

Agar mere bas mein hota to tumhein kabhi chor kar na jaati but your father thinks that I will snatch you from him so he did all this. But I have forgiven him and you also should forgive him. I know it’s difficult but at least try. Ok, ab mein aur kuch kahoon gi to I will fall weak. Bye! I love you.”

Sanskar stands still. Swara’s words are echoing in his mind. His mind stops working and he thinks where is Swara. He is determined to find her before she does anything wrong with herself. On the other hand, Swara is still standing at the edge of cliff. She cries and recalls her marriage with Sanskar. Sanskar also recalls their marriage. He thinks)
Sanskar: I can’t find Swara like this. If not with her, then with no one else. Why should I live? My world started with Swara and ended on Swara. I cannot live without her and that too after knowing that she also loved me. Kam se kam swarg mein to mil sakein ge. (tear escapes his eyes and he turns his car towards the forest. DP is secretly following him because he heard the talks of Sanskar to himself. Swara reminces all her moments with her family. She recalls hugging Ragini, shekhar and Shomi on marriage day.)

Swara: (crying badly) I am sorry mom dad! I am sorry Ragu! (recalls Sanskar) I am sorry Sanskar (places her one foot above the cliff but just then a hand holds her. It is our hero Sanskar. (he turns her towards him and starts shouting)

Sanskar: (enraged) how dare you? how dare you leave me like this? What do you think that you will go from my life and this world easilly? Did you not thought about me? I read your letter and heard that recording. Jaan nikal gayi thi meri. Zara sa bhi ehsaas hai ke nahin tum mein. Pagal! You could have at least told me about all this. (swara cries) dil to kar raha hai that I should slap you many times so that you brain sets right. Agar mein zara sa late ho jaata to tum yahan se chali jati. Don’t you know how much I love you. tumhein pata hai mein yahan apni jaan dene aaya tha kyunke tumhaare baghair jeeney ki himmat nahin hai mujh mein.
Swara: (cries and hugs him) I am sorry sanskar. mujhe samajh mein nahin aaya ke mein kya karun. I love you Sanskar.

Sanskar: (teary eyes) is din ka kab se intezaar tha mujhe par mein ne ye sab sochna chor diya tha because I thought that tumhare dil ka darwaaza mere liye kabhi nahin khule ga. I cannot live without you.

Swara: Sanskar! promise me that you will never try to take your own life, promise me!
Sanskar: ok, I promise!
Swara: thank you. (sanskar kisses her and she responds. They both are looking at each other passionately) I never thought that I could love someone to this extent. My whole world is related to you. I accept you as my husband and soulmate. (goes and brings vermillion box. He fills her mang and then she gives mangalsutrah. He ties it around her neck and she cries happily.) today I am so happy. I got full happiness for the first time. Ab to agar mot bhi aa jaye na to hanste hanste jaan de dun gi.

Sanskar: (shouts) shut up! Don’t you dare think like that ever. Bohat mushkilon se paaya hai tumhein. Itni asaani se nahin jaane dun ga. (both hug each other)
So guys, how was it. I know it was very boring but I am very busy!