TWINKLE twinkle our SHINNING STAR – Episode 10 (friendship)

i am soo sorry guys accually school had started but soo many things are going in my life that i am not able to decribe them properly.guys accually i am a Muslim( i hope no prob) and in 9th grade and i have sooo many friends but still i am so confused at my friendships.at class 5 i have a bad betryal of my best friend which was from my frind fromm 5 years even we live very near.at 6 there we all sections shuffle and i was separated from her.till 5 i was not a mature girl accually i was little bit mature as i never fight for myself or always i was like a totally nerd and weird and boring tpes but in six i had a new friend by chance,this was where my life changed,she was a types of full fun loving girl and little weak in studies and laugh whole heartedly and i also joined her.because of betrayal i never felt that even she is my friend,we always sitted togethor then seven class came.dont know why i left her or she left me or i really i dont remember what happened that i was separated from her and she made new friends.i think it was very easy for her.slowly she had a great gang and i again jumped in.

till 7 everything was okay whwn i started to being insecure because she was beautiful i am not.and at last term,they started to ignore me.in 8th class i realize that she is my Best friend but i didnt know that its late now.she was not giving me time and we hardly sit togethor.i became angry from her because of that but you know that was when i felt that she is my true love bird.i use to ignore the eyecontacts becuse when i did that,i always lost in it.i found her sooo cute.once i was sad from her so i didnt talked from her or we had an eyecontact and i even use to be at last because i cannnot see her smilling and laughing with anyone when i am sad.i use to ignore her fully because that was the time when had weird feeling even in her name.i even ignore her shadow.but once at a time,it was s.st period and i just looked right and she looked left and that was when i feelt like her falls in my heart and my heart closed its door,locked it and now that can never come out.that was a small eyelock but that make me realize that true love really exist and its a very sweet feeling which i ever had.at that time i realize that she is MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER ANEVER.at the next day i patch up withher.but our friendship was not like before.she would like to go with her friends but not with me.and i always wanted her beside me.in 8 i did a little silly drama(THAT WAS WITH THAT GIRL WHOM I WAS JELOUS FROM BUT SHE ALOS WANT HER BEST FRIEND AND I ALSO WANT THE SAME SO W DONE A DEAL) by which we came little close but still i am a internet worm.now we had came to class 9 and almost all th eteachers were known very well of our friendship soo they separated her.it was like i was alone in section C and she was alone in A and rest of the group was (4 girls)werein B .i was heart broken but i was relived that atleast that girls are not with her but again my fate played a dirty game with me.one of them changed her section and the other shifted.again thy all togethor and i alone . my best friend had once an opertunnity to come to my section but she refused and when i got to know that.i really tried alot to leave her but cannot.evrytime they all were togethor and me alone or accually i was bound to be alone because the one because of whomi was jealous had made a promise to me that we all will remain togethor and will not make anyother friend.thy would left m in class when the break started they all would go but i had to wait for them becausee i was left with NO OTHER OPTIOIN.

i had got to know that we can now never be togehor like before or even a little good.even one of that friend had left the school and i was happy because she was an atention seeker but still sh left HER BEST FRIEND also with my best friend now she nevr leaves her.i can see her without bag or even apsent but iwill never see those two separated and now i just dont know what to do.even we had gone to a trip and lots of happened on that also and somedays before was the sports day.in the badmintan match.she sat with me at th eedge and had her arm around my neck.that really looked very awkward but at that time,it was lik paradise for me.i was feeling like hugging her and make her shirt all wet bcz of my tears and let out all the pain which i had suffered from soo long but still i think its not written in my fate.veryday soo many things happen and now even i read with her after school 2 hours at titution. you know when sh would be staring me,i would test my my guetures that what is in me that he not like.my laughing style or my not laughing,,,or with my serrious face i sometimes hurt her ego or somtimes i not speak well or nor speak good things or i am little black soo because.??

guys plz tell me what should i do about this matter?many of you are greater than me soo they might have experiense soo plz tell me?and there is no point of leaving her or making another friend bcz forgeting her is very far from my death also.soo many peoples had suggested me that like my mom and some of the TU friends like anya sharma and BABY but i just can never forget her.i had tried this many time but at the last tim my heart finds a reason to make her innocent and patch up and again i would land in the saame prob and again would be sad and again would cry and i think lasttime i tried to tell her my feelings on phone and tried to ask the reason for all this but she always says that she had no prob with me.guys plz coment and tell me what to do?plz

i am really sorry as you all might be thinking of the ff and i am posting this shit to all of you which doent mean too you in anymeans but still i woud like to say sorry for that and guys plz try to never ever jump in such a prob like me because it is even more worse than someones death (atleast for me or it seems to me like that)sorry if someone is hurt with this.
i am sorry