Tujse Naraz Nahi Zindagi (RAGLAK)- Shot 3

“What’s this? ” I saw Rahul picking up something when he was on his way to his room. My eyes moved to Ragini when she served me the desert after dinner. Ragini’s eyes moved to him and I saw her hands shivering.  “Rahul” she called approaching him but he did not turn.  He usually will instantly turn when his mom calls.  I saw her approaching him quickly with horror on her face.

“I…… I…….  I’m not your son” he turned to me and I saw his face brimmed with tears and sweat. Ragini placed her hand on his shoulder but he jerked it and looked at me. I wasn’t understanding what happened to him suddenly and why is he behaving this way.  “Rahul” I tried to understand what is he talking.  “No” gasped Ragini when he showed up an old paper.  I looked it horrified.  Ragini’s nightmare came true. 

He came to know about the truth. How can this just happen now.  Our relationship was mending due to Ragini’s efforts from an year. 

She just tried everything and at last Rahul had forgiven me. I have accepted him as my son from the time I saw him for the first time. Even after knowing the truth also my feelings did not change for him but I was worried for the day he will know the truth.

I knew, it will break him and the guilt of breaking mine and Ragini’s marriage will cover him and succumb him. I couldn’t afford to see him in that condition. Nobody can survive that guilt.  Moreover I did not wanted him to break due to it.

In next moment I saw his eyes turning painful and eyebrows shrinking with pain. How will I see my son with this much pain. I can’t. He and Rasha hold the same place in my heart.  The way I love Rasha I love him too. Though he hated me so far I have loved him with equal intensity. 

His pain squeezed me.  If I could make the time reverse to reduce my kid’s pain I would have left no stone unturned for it. But as they say the time which crossed cannot return. We just can heal the wounds it gives.

He collapsed on my leg and I jerked due to his sudden action and Ragini placed her hand covering her mouth. Being a dad I was feeling so much pain she is his mom I can’t even imagine her pain. Pain to see her son in so much pain.

Relationships are never of blood they are of emotions that’s what we believed all our life.  She knelt beside him and tried consoling him but he jerked her hand.  I couldn’t understand his behavior towards Ragini.  May be I was not in his position to understand his pain.  Gosh why can’t this moment just pass. It was heavy. Heaviest.

“I’m sorry” he folded his hands and held them near to his mouth. She held his head and dragged him to a hug and he burst out into a bitter cry.  “Why didn’t you tell me this mo….. ” he stopped and lifted his head to look at her.

“Can I still call you that? ”  I know that question might have broken her into thousand pieces.  She closed her eyes painfully and cried. She got up and ran to her room. It wasn’t anyone’s fault and nobody could be blamed and all were in pain. Sometimes we don’t realize what our actions can actually do. Kavya might have been feeling that guilt now.

I caressed his hair kneeling beside him and he immediately hugged me and sobbed. “Sorry” he whispered again.  “shhh” I dragged him out of the hug and cupped his face.  “All because of me….. ” I placed my finger on his lips.  ” Nothing because of you Rahul.  Nothing” I smiled at him.

“The only truth is you are our son. Mine and Ragini’s son and nothing can change this.  No fact can break this” I dragged him again to a hug.  “mom is angry on me” I smiled at his remark. “haaw who told you to disturb sleeping lioness? ” I chuckled and he smiled through his tears. That’s what we as parent needed. His smile. Nothing more. ?

“Mom” he entered hesitant inside the room.  I signed him to be brave and go. He gulped in scared looking at me.  I signed him everything will be fine. He nodded his head and entered the room and I stood at the door.

“I’m sorry” he held his ears like a small kid in front of her.  She removed his hands and hugged him immediately and burst out crying. A tear tripped my eye. He rubbed her shoulder trying to console her.

*****×******************×**********
“Take your elder’s blessings” the Pundit guided Rahul and Singing as they finished the pheres across the holy fire.  Ragini placed her head on my shoulder and I held her.  We blessed them when hey bent for blessing. Ragini hugged Sunaina and I caressed Rahul’s cheek as he smiled.

Life is unpredictable as always. We can’t help it.  Only thing we can do is not stop loving it.

“Tujhse Naraz Nahi Zindagi
Hairan hu Mai pareshan hu mai
Tera maasoom  sawalo se
pareshan hu mai pareshan hu mai”

“socha hi Nahi Jeene ke liye
Dard sambhalne honge
Muskuraye tho Muskurane ke
Karz utarne honge
Muskuraye tho lagta hai
Koi dard chupa hai ankho me

The song always reminded me of my life.  My struggle and my wish to get my life back to normal the way it was before that night when Kanya told me that everything finished between us.

My world had collapsed that second only.  I wished I could control myself that night.  How can I cheat Ragini my only purpose that I’m alive the girl who filled my life with love.  How can I decieve her.  I wanted to kill myself. I never had the courage to tell her.

Ya I agree I was weak to admit my mistake. Not because she will leave but because I did not wanted to break her.  I might sound selfish towards Kavya but I had no option. I couldn’t live without Ragini.

And when I took Rahul hme I knew on our anniversary only my marriage will break. And it happened.  Her each word pierced me like I wanted to end my meaningless life when the meaning left me but I was then coward to end my life also.

And she returned and I felt like my life returned. The time spent without her was like I was in hell and going through all the tortures or I can say worst than that.

Her silence and ignorance killed me but I knew it pained her more. I can’t describe how I spent so much time of my life without talking to her. Then the truth came out.

I was happy as it ended my suffering but then again it was dangerous for my family which had glued itself strong all this time. I didn’t know should I be happy it came out or should be sad that it will break my family I was confused.

Luckily the values Ragini imprinted in Rahul won the guilt in him of breaking our marriage. Im so damn happy that our love for our kids won. I looked at Rahul who was taking care of Sunaina who was 6 months pregnant. I know he will give the same love to his kids. I smiled at them.

“Laksh” Ragini sat beside me on a chair and placed the tea cup. “It feels so good to see your kids grow isn’t it? ” I asked.  She followed my gaze and smiled seeing Rahul and Sunaina. And nodded her head holding my hand. I brought her hand close to me and kissed it.