Hello guys! So, as I have been announcing for somedays – here is my monster OS. Literally.Over5k words. I really hope you guys will enjoy it and that isse dil aurdimaag kotoda sa sukoon milega, now that some tension seems to be ahead in TPK A little note: Bihaan issomewhatout-of-character at the end,maybe, but that’s due to his situation! In vulnerablesituations,people often behave in ways they normally would not Also, there might be typos- I did proof-read, but, yes, errorsare easily over-seen.Enjoy reading and do let me know how it is!___________________________________________________The caress of our hearts
*You are the bane of my existence, the culprit in my life,Yet, your vulnerablehonesty touches somethinginside me,And I find my responding to your heart’s caress*”Tell me, Bihaan, w-w-wh-what punishment would you g-gi-give yourself for what you d-did to me?”Blood trickled down his fingers, over his palm and towards his wrists. The feeling of it, wet and warm, brought him a strange sense of satisfaction – but notenough. Notnearlyenough. And the pain… he hardly felt it. Why didn’t he feel it in its full intensity?Hot anger rushed through his veins and made him hit theclapper of the bell harder, with both hands, each time his knuckles crashing viciously against the goldenbowl. The sounds of the ringingbell resonated through his head, deafening him everythingelse- be it the hushed whispers of onlookers or the worried outcries ofPaan.And his naked feetwere burning. Orhad been. The coal beneath them seemed tohave melted into his skin, by now, and become part of him. But there was no sensation,anymore. His feet were numb to the burning – and itinfuriatedhim.The events of these pastdays engulfed his mind like dark shadows melting into each other, and mocking him. Images of incidents flashed in front of his inner eye in rapid succession, making it impossible to concentrate on a single one.Dhruv and Thapki standing in their garden, chest to back, rain pouring down on them mercilessly. He was holding her left wrist whilehis other hand was ghosting over her waist and his chin hovering over her collarbone- their cheeks touching. She looked uncomfortable yet, didn’t pull away, immediately.”B-b-but what would you kn-kno-know about love, Bihaan?” She turned her face away from him, hiding her tears but not her disgust forhim. It wasdripping from each and every word that left her mouth.”O-oth-otherwise you wouldn’t m-m-mo-mock me or D-DhruvSir for it. And that i-i-is the reason why n-no-no one could ever love you!”Thapki, scared off by a cockroachin the middle of the night, rushing under his blankets and pressing tightly against him, all thewhile begging him to make the cockroachdisappear.”Sindoor means m-mut-mu-mutuallove and respect. It b-b-binds in a s-sa-sacred relationship.” Locking their gazes, Thapki brought her hand towards her forehead and removed the sindoor Bihaan had just applied there, out of instinct upon observing her maang- hedidn’t evenknow why he did it, why it bothered him to seeit empty, today. Why he even noticed it. But he knew that, when she wiped it away, somethinginside of him cracked.”We have n-n-neither. No love, respect or r-re-rel-relationship – you arenothing t-to me, Bihaan Pandey.”The whispers of people behind hisback- about howlucky Vasundhrawould have been to have a daughter-in-law like Thapki if she only werereallythe daughter-in-law of the Pandey family. Where did successful Dhruv, rightful heir stand,and wheredid Bihaan, the adopted misfit?Maa standing in front of Thapki, her hands clasped together ina desperate plea as she begged Thapki to do the karva chaut fast for him. Helpless tears wererunning down Thapki’s cheeks as she agreed – completely unwilling.”Bhai! Enough, Bhai! Enough!”Hands latched onhis arms, gripping them tightly andstopping his frantic motions. Bihaan stared at Paan’s desperate features withouttrulyseeing them, his eyes a little glassy andhis vision still blurred at the edges.Though, Paan’s words did seep through tohis muddled mind, albeit slowly, and when they did, his lips curled up into a bitter half-smile.”It won’t ever beenoughfor me, Paan.”
He pulled out of Paan’s tight grip, wincing slightly, and inspected his bloodied hands. Throbbing pain was rippling through them, each wavebecoming more and more intense.”This p for physical hurt is nothing compared to the p for pain I put Thapkithrough.””And the painyouhave been going through?” Paan whisperedlowly, barely audible forhim. “You have been hurting a lot, as well.”He closed his lids fora moment and inhaled deeply; now, that his mind was clearing up, he couldfeelhis injuries to their full extent. It was difficult to concentrate on the conversation at hand- tospeak. “I…I deserve it, I guess.””Bhai…””Drop it, Paan,” he requested softly before he started to carefully step out ofthe bed of burning coals he himself had placed on this very spot. The moment the soles of his feet touched the cool floor of the temple, vicious flames shot through them, setting theblood in his veins afire. He hissed through clenched teeth, and bent over a little, face contorted into an ugly grimace.Goddammit!Instinctively, he reached for Paan to supporthimself before he could losehis balance, completely. He could barely stand. How was he supposed to go home like this?”Bhai, let us go to the doctor,first,please! Just look at you!”Bihaan shook his head. “It’s late,” he said and jerked his chin towards the night-sky and the moon adorning itas a proof.”Thapki’s probably waiting to break her fast.”No need for me to trouble herany further.Paan was watching him from the side as he limped towards the stairs of the temple with his help, past whispering devotees.”You haven’t eaten or drunk anything the whole day, either.Don’t thinkI didn’t notice it.”Of course, you did. If not you, then who?He chuckled quietly.”Well, if shecan fast for me although, she despises me, why cannot I? Idon’t even hate her.”Maybe there was more Paanwanted to say but heremained silent – and Bihaan was grateful for it because he really wasn’t in the mood to talk. Notthat he could do itfor any longer.###”Of course, what else did we expect from that selfish prick?”Thapki closed hereyes and sighed tiredly. She couldn’t disagree with Aditi. Not at all. Her anger was justified, and if she was honest, she, herself, felt a hot spike of irritation course through her veins. But it was exactly like Aditi said- whatelsedid they expect?Furrowing her brows thoughtfully, she stared down at the decorated plate and the sieve in her hands, feeling herinsides clench uncomfortably upon the sight. When she had been younger, she always used to imagine what this day of Karva-Chauth would be like for her. She would dream about a sweet husband who wouldcome back home extra early to open her fast, and who would, maybe, keep a fast himself forher sake. She always thought it would be an occasion filled with happinessfor her, if itever should come.Ifsomeone ever were to marry her.Now, here she was, keeping a fast for a man she despised and refused to accept as her husband, because his motherhad begged her to fulfill this ritual, still waiting forhim to arrive afterover half an hour since the moon had been sighted. VasundhraMaa had tried calling him repeatedly, everyone else was unwilling to, and by now, Bauji and her own familywere becoming agitated.Thapki could feel their gazes lingering on her; worried and sympathetic. She could feel Dhruv Sir glancing at her from time to time. And shehatedit. Hated it tocause them this much worry – and to be subjected to their pity, no matter how good their intentions were.”Di, just break yourfast,” Aditi was saying and thus, pulled her out of her thoughts.”It’s not like you even like that idiot! Husband my foot. I’m sure Vasu aunty will understand the sentiment.””Aditi is right,” her father agreed, touching her shoulder gently. Comfortingly.”You’ve been hungry for long enough, beta. And we all know that Bihaan has no respect foranything or anyone besides himself, so why would he come?”Taking herlower lip between her teeth, Thapki chewed on it. She looked from her sister to her father