Twinkle was not able to read the last few sentences clearly, because her eyes were filled with tears…She could feel the pain which Kunj had gone through…She understood how hard and painful was it for Kunj to take this decision…She turns the page to read the next date.
[Readers – English translation of this part is written after ——– line.]
Date
Aaj Twinkle ko call kiya…Aur bata diya ki Papa hamarey rishtey ko accept nahi karenge…Aur isliye hum aur hamara rishta aaj yahaan khatam hota hain…Jitna ho sake,utna harsh hoke, heavy or strong voice me maine apna decision usse suna diya…Aur phone kat diya, bina usko baat kerne ka mauka diye…Me chahta tha ki uska reply bhi sunu…Per ye 2 sentence bhi maine usse kaise kaha hain, ye sirf me janta hun…Kamzor nahi padna chahta tha me..Thodi der aur agar phone on pe rekhta to shayad mere aawaz ki nami usse pata chal jaati…
Muje pata hain Twinkle ki, tum ye soch rehi hogi maine dictator ki tarah apna faisla suna diya aur tumara opinion jaan ne ki bhi khoshish nahi kiya… Kya keru? Aur kuch kehne ki aur sunne ki haalat me nahi tha me…
Ek baar socha bhi tha ki tume sab bata dun ki yahaan kya hua hai, aur me ye decision kyu le reha hun…Bata bhi to kya batata….Ye ki, Papa jinpe muje sabse zyada bharosa tha ki muje samjenge…vo mere bare me ye soch rekhtey hain…Per me ye nahi ker sakta…Mera papa ko kisi ke bhi saamne me jhukne nahi de sakta…Jo baatein papa ne muje kahi hain, vo sirf muj tak hi rehega…Muje pata hain ki tum shayad mere bare me galat soch rekhne lagogi….Per yehi sahi… Aur shayad nafrat bhi kerne lagogi mujse…Jab alag hona hi hai toh kya farak padta hain…Yuvi ki padhai, uska job lagna aur loan complete hone me na jaane kitne saal lag jaayenge….Aur mera koi haq nahi banta, ki me tume mera intezaar kerne ko kahu….Shayad tum ker bhi lo…Vo bhi mere bina kuch kahe hi….Per me ab tume ye nahi bol sakta ki mera wait kero…2 Bachein hone ke bawajoodh, Papa mujse ye expectation rekhtey hain….Tum toh, tumhari parents ki ek lauti beti ho…Mera koi haq nahi banta, ki me unke expectations ko tod dun…. Meri vajah se tum zindagi bhar wait kerte rehein, vo ye bilkul nahi chahenge….Hum alag ho jaye, yehi behtar hain….Muje ye kerna hain, hamari family ke liye…Muje maaf ker dena Twinkle…
To hamara rishta yahaan khatam hota hain…5 saal…Tumhare bina jee paunga ya nahi…Me nahi jaanta…Tum mere liye kya ho…ye bayaan kerna bhi mushkil hain…Ab sirf tumhari yaadein rehegi mere paas…Na ab kabhi me tumse milunga aur na baat ker paunga….Miss kerunga tume? Miss toh shayad ek chota shabd hain, jo me tumhare liye feel kerta hun…
Tum mujse hamesha puchti rehi ki muje tumhari kya baat achi lagti hain…Aur me hamesha iss baat ko hass ke talta reha…Ab sochta hun ki kaash, kaash maine keh diya hota…Ab shayad…Ab shayad zindagi me kabhi ye mauka muje na mile….
Me tumse ye kaise kahu ki muje tumhari kaunsi baat achi nahi lagti… Tumare har andaaz, har nazar, har adaa pe fida hun…Jis tareeqe se tum mera dhyaan rekhti ho…Office me kaam kertey huye bhi, har waqt muje dhoondtey huye tumhari nazrein…Mujpe jaan chidakne wala tumhari har andaaz…Fast gadi chalane pe tumhara vo datna…aur kya kuch nahi…Ek aakri baar…tumse ye sab kehna chahta tha Twinkle…Per me ye tume ab kabhi nahi bataunga… Mohabbat insaan ko bohut kamzor bana deta hain…Tumhari ek aawaz bhi muje kamzor bana dega aur muje darr hain ki, kahi me apne decision se piche na hat jau… Aur muje bebas nahi hona… Isliye…Tumhara ek bhi phone call ab attend nahi kerunga…Aur na koi message…
I will miss you meri do dhari talwaar… And I will love you till the last breath of mine…
————————————————————————————————————————————
(Date
Today I called Twinkle to tell my decision. Just told her that Papa can’t accept her and hence it is over…I tried hard to sound harsh and heavy in my voice…And I cut the phone…I didn’t even wait for her response…I wish I could listen to her reply…But I know how hard it was for me to say those 2 sentences to her…I didn’t want to be weak in front of her…I was afraid she will sense the pain in my voice, if I keep the phone on for 2 more seconds…
I know you will be feeling like,I was being rude to you…I just told my decision as a dictator…I didn’t even wait for your opinion…trust me…I was not in a mental state to talk or hear anything more than that…
I thought I should tell you what’s going on and why I am taking this decision…What should I tell you…My Papa, whom I trusted the most and believed that he will understand my feelings…He thinks that I am exploiting him….I can’t tell you that…I will never ever tell you this…Those talks will always remain with me…I know you will think that I am rude and cruel…You will start hating me…But let it be…Anyways…We are supposed to get parted…Better this way…
It will take years to finish Yuvi’s studies, loan and to get Yuvi settled…I can’t ask you to wait for me…Probably you will…even without me asking you to wait for me…I know you love me to that extent…But I can’t…You are the only child to your parents….They have expectations from you…I have no rights to shatter their dreams…I won’t ask you to wait for me…Move on Twinkle…I have to do this, for our family…I am sorry Twinkle….Forgive me if you can…
And our relation ends today…5 years…of love…Of togetherness…Everything comes to an end…I don’t know what you meant to me…It is hard to explain what I feel for you…Now I just have your memories is with me…I won’t meet you ever or talk to you…Will I miss you? Miss…is a small term to explain what I feel for you…
You have always asked me what I liked in you the most…And I have always smiled at you and never replied…I wish I had given you the answer…Coz…now I can’t ever tell it to you…
You used to ask me what I liked in you the most…What should I tell? I am in love with every minute things of you…Your attitude, your nature and your care…The way you take care of me…The way your eyes search for me, even in office…The way you scold me when I drive fast…and the love you shower on me through your cute fights….Everything…I wish I could tell this to you…one last time….But I won’t… Love makes you weaker….I am afraid, your voice will tear me apart and I won’t be able to stick to my decision…So from now on…I won’t attend your call…Not even your message…
I will miss you meri do dhari talwaar… And I will love you till the last breath of mine…)
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Twinkle is completely choked up…She was rejecting this man for her ego…A man who loves her to this extent…Every sentence,every word written in that page portrayed his deep love for her…
In every page after this, Kunj has written how he survived without Twinkle… Each & every page had a mention about her…Either he remembering her anger issues or how she would have responded at this point if she was with him…
Twinkle: Kehne ko toh tumne muje uss din apne life se alag ker diya tha…Per har din har pal tumne muje yaad kiya hain…Har ek panne pe mera zikrr hain…Tum mujse iss had tak pyaar kertey ho, ye muje aaj pata chala… (We ended our relationship that day…But you remembered me every second…Every page of diary had a mention of me…I realize how much you love me…)
She read the entire diary…In the last page of dairy, an envelope with few more photographs were there…Twinkle opens the envelope…As earlier, Kunj had noted the date and event behind…It was already in order of date.
Twinkle: Amritsar aane ke baad ke photos? Tumne yeh photos bhi kheeche the….Tum toh har time muje apne se dur kerne ke khoshish me the, uss time…Aur chupke se mere photo lete the…. (Pics of me at Amritsar? When did you take these pics? You were angry on me for coming to Amritsar…Then when didyou click the pics?)
A pic of Twinkle working in kitchen with Usha had a caption “Socha tha ki ab kabhi tumari photo nahi lunga…Per mujse ye nahi hoga…Ye dil hain ki manta nahi…. (I thought I will never take pics of you again…but I can’t resist myself…)
Another pic of Twinkle and Manohar watching TV had a caption of “Haan…me gussa hun, tumse… aur chahta hun ki jald se jald tum yahan se chali jao….” (Just leave from here…Twinkle…I don’t want you to get hurted…Noone will understand our love here…”)
A pic of Twinkle, Usha and Manohar spending time together with a caption “My dream…which will never be a reality, if they come to know that she is the one whom I loved….Better Twinkle be their PG”
Twinkle was surprised to see a pic…Twinkle and Kunj are tied to the chair and are arguing….
Twinkle: Ye pic?
Twinkle turns around and finds a caption “Bro, you are a brilliant actor and and you did fab under my direction…But need to raise your photography skills…Not a clear photo…”
Twinkle seems stunned and realizes that the kidnapping drama was done by Kunj…
Twinkle: Ohh..Now I understood…Yuvi was just an actor of your play and it was your brain…Mindblowing…
Twinkle thinks. “I am happy you did that…At least our misunderstandings got cleared through it…”
Another pic of Twinkle was there where Yuvi is trying to convince her to rethink her decision…And the caption written back was a shayari…
Yaadon mein kitni dafa, tumhari gali, tumhara dard pukarta raha…
magar kya karoon, mujhse hi aaya na gaya,
ek gham jo diya tha maine, mujhse bhulaya na gaya…
us roz main yahan se gaya tha ye sochkar ki laut aaunga…
ek waada jo kiya tha tumse wo nibha jaunga,
par shayad us waqt zindagi ko ye manzoor naa tha
warna main is qadar bhi majboor naa tha
abhi bhi waqt hai, haan waqt hai abhi,
lekin ye waada hai khud se, ki ek din tumhare saamne aunga…
tumne jo kiya tha wo har shikwa mita jaunga…
yakeen dila dunga ki main bura tha, magar itna bhi nahi…
warna tumhara har ilzaam apne sir utha lunga, jo kar paya gar itna bhi nahi…
(Several times in my memories, I could hear your lane, your pain call out to me
But I just could not return,
I could not forget the misery I gave you,
Otherwise I was not so helpless that I could not return
The day I left your place, I thought I will return soon,
After I have fulfilled that promise I made to you,
But I guess life had other plans for us,
I know there is still time
And I have made a promise to myself that one day we will stand face to face
and that day I will clear all the complaints you have against me
I will make you realize, that I might not have been good, but I am not as bad as you think I am
Else I will accept all your blame and leave, if I cannot do even this much for you. )
Last pic was of Twinkle and Yuvi at farm house talking about Alisha coming back to Amritsar…Twinkle turns to find the caption.
“Ab jisne ye raitha failaya hai, vahi samethegi… Alisha, tume yahaan aana hi hoga…mere liye…Twinkle ko yahaan rokhne ke liye…” (Alisha, you will have to come to Amritsar to stop Twinkle from leaving…)
Twinkle: ohh…You were working hard to stop me and make me realize your love…I am happy you were trying hard to save our relationship…How could I even think that Kunj didn’t do anything to save our relationship…I was so blind in my ego that I didn’t see his efforts to stop me…The kidnapping and Alisha part….
Twinkle: Bus ghar aa jao…Kunj…Me sab samaj gayi hun…Ki tum mujse kitna pyaar kerte ho…Kiss had tak martey ho mujpe….
(Come back soon Kunj…I have understood everything….I have realized my mistake…I know how much you love me…)
Jisha 🙂