SWARAGINI( DIL KI DOR) Part 54- Ragini’s Point of View

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Part 54:

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The one who notice the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in.-Unknown”

Swara opened her mouth wide as she heard him, well she did like staring at him.

“Nothing Like that, Matlab kuch bhi na…” Swara answered after a small pause, She did agree that she liked staring at him but why should he know?

” Yaa, Kuch Bhi...That’s why there was the pause.” Raj replied with a lopsided smile, His eyes were on the road though.

Swara bit her tongue slowly as she realized Raj caught her lie, He knew her too well.

” Acha Leave it, Now Drive fast na, I am hungry now.” Swara changed the topic after a moment’s thought on what to reply while Raj laughed silently, His happiness knew no bounds today, Today he did what he had desired for so long yet feared at the consequences of…he proposed Swara and her affirmation meant the world to him and so he didn’t pursue the topic further.

**

“Acha, Atleast now tell me why you are going to Kolkata? It’s Swara’s native place right? Are you planning something for her or something else?” Sanskar asked as he and Ragini just ended with their laughter, Ragini’s eyes widened as she heard him.

She hit her own head slightly with her right hand, ” Hume to yaad hi nahi raha, Swara bhi Kolkata se hain…” Ragini’s voice trailed off as she went into her own reverie.

Seeing her lost, Sanskar snapped his fingers in front of her lowered eyelashes as alarmed, She raised her eyelashes staring at him confused, ” I am there to remind you na, That’s why I say, Always keep me with yourself …benefits hi benefits…” He had his signature innocent yet mischievous smile.

Giving a ‘Whatever’ look to Sanskar, Ragini replied, “No thanks,  I don’t need you… Anyways, This all is not related to Swara so I got no benefit from your information.” she stressed the word ‘Benefit’.

” Oh yes, Then Can you please tell me now what is this trip all about Madam?” Sanskar questioned as Ragini nodded rolling her eyes at his ‘Madam’.

“FSP…” Ragini purposely stopped midway as Sanskar was lost into thinking the meaning of her words.

“FSP?…Oh, Mission Finding Second Princess…” Sanskar was about to question Ragini as to what is FSP when he realized the meaning of the abbreviation he himself christened last night.

“You started working of Mission FSP today only? And that too without informing me? But why are you going to Kolkata for it? And How is all this related to Lucky?” Sanskar bombarded Ragini with questions enthusiastically as soon as he realized everything.

“So? The earlier the better, right? Also, I am sorry for not informing but I didn’t inform anybody other than Laksh because I thought more people knowing it would only lead to high expectations from this journey, especially of Dadisa and I don’t know if I’ll get even a single lead as of now so…or Dadisa may have refused to allow me to come and you, Swara, Raj and Harsh are all close to Dadisa so you all might end up telling her everything unwittingly if I told you so I didn’t, I told Laksh only because Devgarh is near Kolkata so he can help, Also because he doesn’t talk much to Dadisa so…” Ragini explained herself in as much detail as she could, Sanskar could actually sense the guilt of lying in her voice.

“Ok, I understand, Don’t make that puppy face now…But you still didn’t answer, Why Kolkata?” Sanskar smiled slightly to lighten the atmosphere.

“Because Bansi Kaka…The one who kidnapped the second princess is locked in the Kolkata Central Jai…” Ragini was abruptly cut by Sanskar.

” Wait a second…Kaka? Rageshwari, He’s the one who kidnapped your sister, Kept you and your parents away from her for all these years and God knows for how many to come, Your parents died without knowing anything about their daughter, They died with a fear which might just be true because of him…Your sister might have died…”

“Sanskar…” Ragini cut Sanskar who was speaking in a single breath before he could complete, her voice raised a little as opposed to her usual calm demeanour.

“I am sorry Rageshwari but it’s a reality…I know what Aniket’s parents did with you and how you still cared for them, I was still ok with it because they are your family and no matter what, I understand they might have still somewhere cared for you but not for that Bansi, What he did was horrible…He kidnapped second princess not for taking care of her…he of course wanted to kill her, I don’t know what he eventually did because I have heard he gave her away to a couple but that clearly was never his actual intention…accept it, I know you are not a ruthless person Rageshwari and I respect it but that does not mean you’ll timid to the extent of justifying anybody and everybody…Tomorrow, If we have a conversation on it you might just end up justifying those men who misbehaved with you yesterday…that’s not done, Being good too has a level and you have certainly exceeded it. And yes, I don’t wanna say it but giving her away to a couple could  actually have been a well-crafted lie to escape severe punishment.” It was Sanskar’s time to raise his voice, though slightly since they were in public transport. He cared a lot for Ragini, knew her viewpoints, respected them but at the same time always knew she needed a reality check out of her ‘Everyone is Great’ World but seeing her evade serious confrontation…the topmost among them being the fact that he loves her and she too somewhere does love him, he always refrained from speaking out but today he couldn’t handle anymore and ended up bursting out only to realize that he had ended up making Ragini tear up.

As unshed tears clustered her eyes threatening to fall out any given moment, Ragini wiped them immediately, ” I didn’t know you thought I will try to justify THEM…” She paused as memories of yesterday flashed in her mind bringing along the fear that had choked her back then, more tears accumulated in her eyelids, one of them daring to slip down.


Realizing what he had ended up saying in his anger, Sanskar shook his head slowly as he tried to wipe the tear, Ragini moved back moving her head in a ‘No’, pushing out the horrifying memories from her mind, Ragini spoke,

“…I wasn’t planning to justify Bansi Kaka, I can never do it…I understand every consequence of his action, all the sadness that my family might have felt but at the same time, I do realize the reason for his actions Sanskar… And reason is not equivalent to justification, He lost his family Sanskar…WHOLE…His little kids, His wife…his reason to live, My family was somewhere responsible or maybe wasn’t but don’t we tend to blame others for our losses? His blaming us became the reason for his survival Sanskar, The only reason…and he did exactly what he thought would give him peace in such a situation…he tried to harm my family, through me and my sister…I know he wouldn’t kill her, I know, not because I believe he was good but because I believe he wasn’t a devil…I don’t believe in ‘Everyone is Great’ Sanskar, I just believe everyone isn’t a devil either…exceptions like Those people exist but he wasn’t if he would have been a devil he wouldn’t have kidnapped my sister…he would have killed all of us just like his family died, if he could kidnap her in that security then he could definitely do that too but he didn’t…his misplaced sense of revenge made him do the kidnapping, I don’t think it could make him kill my innocent few days old sister, I believe my sister is alive and happy, My heart says so and I want to believe it above everything else and also him lying because of the fear of severe punishment? What more punishment can he get? His family is dead Sanskar, whole…he’s in jail from past 17 years…” Ragini kept wiping her eyes trying to not allow the tears to escape only to realize how futile her attempt was every time, new tears took there place almost instantly, Her voice became heavy as she tried to control the urge to cry as she continued.

“…also Sanskar, When I say I know the consequences of what he did, I not only know the painful one’s…My parents died in an accident while we were going to a picnic, I was so happy, All excited for sightseeing, enjoying tasty food, coming back with happy memories…It was their birthday gift for me…And all I ended coming back with was injuries and my parents’ dead bodies…I…I just remember Maa…Maa Bauji hid me in their embrace reflexively as that uncontrollable truck hit the front of the car, I came back losing my parents that day only to get the news that I lost my Dadisa too, She went in Coma with the trauma of everything…What do you think of the possibility of my sister being the 4th person I would have lost that day…to death?” Ragini ended up crying as she barely managed to complete.

“Ragini…” Sanskar who realized he had touched a raw wound with his words could only say as he ended up hugging her, trying to comfort her, tears filled in his own eyes.

Breaking the hug, Ragini wiped her tears again as she continued, “…And…and do you realize if she did end getting saved in that accident, What would have followed? She would have lived a life like me, Her identity would have been snatched from her, Her voice would have been snatched from her by Chachi Chachi Ji…Chacha Chachi Ji… I can’t bring myself to hate them Sanskar, I can’t and I really don’t know the reason but I know they are wrong…Very wrong but again, Can I really blame them completely? I am younger than Aniket Bhaiya and I am the Yuvrani, The owner of the whole property, Is that really right with Bhaiya? Doesn’t he deserve to be Yuvraj being the elder one…Like you, Like Harsh…Like Laksh?”

As he wiped his own tears, Sanskar nodded slightly, he wanted to speak something but Ragini’s tear-filled eyes made him avoid continuing… Hearing her, He did understand where Rageshwari was coming from, She was the purest soul he had known, trying to think from everyone’s point of view, trying to end everyone’s sorrow and in all of it, Ending up being broken herself…When you understand the pain of someone, You end up feeling some of it yourself and when that someone becomes everyone, You end feeling a lot of pain…sometimes ending up neglecting your own pain in the process, Rageshwari was a classic example of the same, He still stood by his point of view but now knew he couldn’t question Rageshwari’s…in all this, he realized he ended up saying something he shouldn’t have and doesn’t believe in either,  in his anger.

” I…I am sorry Rageshwari, I ended up saying that justifying Those men thing in anger, I did not mean it…” Sanskar said earnestly though hesitant, his eyes still shining with unshed tears.

“I…I understand…” Ragini who had managed to control her tears by now could only say as she stared blankly at Sanskar, She did knew he didn’t still agree with her point of view but also knew better than to drag the topic further, Sanskar cared a lot for her and his outpour was only a result of that concern.

Immediately adjusting herself to look forward, Ragini sat comfortably, her eyes looking in a distance at nothing in particular, The tears in her eyes had stopped, her sobs paused but her heart still cried for nothing in particular but the very strange mess her life has ended up becoming.

Getting the cue, Sanskar too adjusted himself to look forward averting his eyes slightly to look at Ragini, today was the second time Ragini poured her heart to him, not hiding behind the cover-up of fake smiles and innocent waves of laughter, she unleashed a side of hers which maybe no one had seen till now, he could only wonder what he could do for her, to minimize the pain she kept hidden in the cage of her heart away from the world, away from the light which the world could offer, away from the solace which the comforting words of someone loving could offer, he didn’t have the answer yet but he promised himself, he would find it out soon.

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Author’s Note: Hello everyone, To be honest, I know I should be apologizing to start with but I feel an apology is nothing to account for a continuously delay of years so I always end up skipping through it still, I am sorry if that can really make up for anything, As most of you might be knowing, I have reasons and I really can’t help them, at the same time my love for writing pulls me back towards writing every time, honestly, I don’t know how this part turned out to be given I wrote a part of this story post more than 2 years and also, because I was having immense problem in starting to write this part…writer’s block though I eventually ended up doing it, I still hope it was worth some time…please let me know, Also As it is I don’t know if I even deserve to say it, but yes Please do consider voting and commenting if you liked it. Also, The question for this part is, ‘What is your ideal word limit of a part?’ I usually write chapters till whatever point I feel like but I just thought I should also know the readers POV for the same so asking, the above part is just above 2100 words so please do share if you can. Also dedicating it to Thennu2002 given its only because of her request that I wrote this part otherwise I was continously trying to avoid it because of writer’s Block. ??

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