Chapter 6:
Scene 1:
Location: Maheshwari Mansion, Sanskar’s room
Sanskar enters his room and lays on his bed. He suddenly feels someone’s presence and turns his head smiling. He closes his eyes.
Sanskar: Swara! Why you came here? You know na I am trying to forget you? Then why can’t you leave me alone. (he sees Swara’s illusion smiling) why are you smiling? I don’t know where are you? How are you? Are you safe? (his phone rings and he sees caller ID. His heart starts racing because it is Swara. He attends the call.) Swara!
Swara: Sanskar!
Sanskar: how are you and where are you?
Swara: when are we applying for divorce?
Sanskar: (in mind) does she not know that I have given her this right earlier? This means she does not read marriage papers.(to Swara) why?
Swara: what do you mean why? We have decided it earlier that once I am free, I will get divorce. I asked you to give me that right in marriage Papers. Then why are you questioning all dumb?
Sanskar: right? Whose right and what right? In which century? I hope you read papers. That’s why you are asking me for divorce.
Swara: you betrayed me?
Sanskar: how can I betray you, my dear Swara? Think once, we will make a good pair.
Swara: (angrily) how can you even think like that? I will never live with you. I prefer death before accepting this marriage. We don’t have anything in common?
Sanskar: if you accept my offer, then I could think over your last point.
Swara: look, I am telling you for the last time that I will never accept this marriage. I will go to court for this.
Sanskar: go ahead, my dear Swara! When you will reach court, your family would also reach there maybe before me. Then you can sort out all the old matters. Am I right?
Swara: go to hell, Mr. Sanskar Maheshwari! (cuts the phone and switches off. He tried many times again but her phone was coming switched off)
AFTER THREE MONTHS:
Scene 2:
Location: Maheshwari mansion, Sanskar’s room
DP enters his room an orders him to do packing as they are going to America. At first, he resists but after sometime, he agrees. When he opens the drawer, he finds marriage papers missing. He finds out that his father is aware. While going to airport, he asks him to sign on empty papers and he does. They applied in three top universities of America. And he got admission in all three universities of which he chose Yales. He chose that because there was not even a single relative of DP in Yales as well as in New Haven. Although he was far from Pakistan but Swara was always in his heart. Wherever he went, she was in his mind. The more he tried to forget her, the more he remembered her. He saw her everywhere. He topped first semester breaking all the records and maintaining his record. Slowly, he lost interest in everything. Swara’s illusions started occupying him and due to this, he could not concentrate on studies and failed miserably in third semester. This was a shock for university as well as his own family. The boy which was capable to break all the previous records in his field now failed miserably. There was a girl named Jodth. She wore a small pendant with a pearl hanging down. Whenever he saw her, it always reminded him of Swara. His father came to his apartment and was shocked because he always kept his room clean and tidy and now he has kept his things in mess.
DP: Sanskar! What the hell is this? And what have you done with your face? These cuts on your face and hands…… are you using drugs?
Sanskar: no dad! I am not using any drugs.
DP: (drags him to mirror) look at yourself. You are not looking less than a drug addict. What problem are you having?
Sanskar: there is no problem with me, dad.
DP: oh really! The boy which was granted admission in all three topmost universities of America due to his splendid record in studies has failed. Why?
Sanskar: I will do hard work. I will again establish a good record. I promise you.
DP: you better do this.
Sanskar again started going to university and took interest in studies. Although he never forgot Swara but still he managed to maintain his previous position. He was the topper of his university and broke all the previous records. He met an Indian boy Nihal and became friends. He was very religious and always asked Sanskar to pray to God, perform puja and recite Holy Vedah. He asked him to do good deeds and Sanskar always insulted him. After a year, he agreed to go to Mandir with him. Nihal led him to a nearby mandir and they started puja. Pandit was chanting mantras but Sanskar couldn’t understand anything. He could not understand even a word so he came out. He was sitting on the stairs when he saw a pr*stitute coming his way. She offered him fifty dollars, then reduced it to forty and then thirty. He paid her fifty dollars and asked her to move. She was stunned. He wandered here and there whole night and then reached his apartment. He saw Nihal sitting there angrily.)
Sanskar: why are you sitting here? Did you not slept whole night?
Nihal: (angrily) if I have you as my friend, then I would have to spend my whole life sleepless. Where were you last night?
Sanskar: I was wandering on the roads.
Nihal: why don’t you get killed in any of the road accidents? At least, I would get rid of your worries.
Sanskar: (laughing) maybe I am very lucky or you are very unlucky.
Nihal: why did you not complete your puja?
Sanskar: I can’t understand all that language. So I came out.
Nihal: you should start from smaller deeds and then you will be able to understand this.
Sanskar: what is a deed?
Nihal: when we do anything good with someone, it is called deed.
Sanskar: then I also did a good deed last night.
Nihal: and what was that?
Sanskar: I helped a pr*stitute by giving her fifty dollar while she was offering thirty dollars.
Nihal: (shouting) stop all your blo*dy rubbish Sanskar. You can’t do anything good. So stop. And I will never help you in all this. I will never take you to any mandir. If you want to know about our religion, ja kar marna kisi aur pandit ke pas. Agar mere paas aaye na to tangein aur munh dono torh kar hath mein de dun ga. You rogue, you swine! (his face was red due to anger and shouting)
Scene 3:
Location: New Haven, Sanskar’s apartment
Sanskar enters his apartment and locks it. He feels someone sitting on his bed. He smiles and sits on the other side of his bed.
Sanskar: why are you here, Swara?
Swara: I am here to share your happiness. You have got so much success in your studies.
Sanskar: you were always there with me, Swara. You were in my mind, hart and everywhere. Why can’t you go away?
Swara: because my home is your heart and mind. Where would I go leaving it?
Sanskar: (holds her hands and kisses hem) I love you. (crying) I love you very much, Swara.
Swara: (wiping his tears) I know.
Sanskar: please forgive me! (looks up but does not finds her.) again illusion? (goes in bathroom and washes his face. when he looks in mirror, he sees Swara’s face instead of his face. he gets angry and breaks the mirror. He then goes out and lay on bed. Sleep was miles away from him once again. In holidays, he went to India again. He was not feeling well so he decided to go to his farmhouse in Rishikesh. He went there and when he was returning, he was attacked by a group of robbers. They tied him to a tree and closed his mouth using a cloth. He was there for many hours and then again he was occupied by the thoughts of Swara. He thought when he asked her “what is next to ecstasy”, she said “pain”. “What is next to pain”? She said “nothingness”. “What is next to nothingness”? She said “hell”. He then remembered how she always used to say that “you will never understand”. She once said that “a time will come when you will be afraid of death. When you will get afraid of God”. And he was feeling the same. Tied to a tree, he was helpless. There was no chance that anyone would see him. And due to constant shouting, his voice was stuck in his throat. Different insects were crawling on him. He continuously prayed to God to save him. He was crying and asking forgiveness from God. H promised God that he will never do sins. Just free him from there. At last, he fell unconscious.)
Scene 4:
Location: hospital, private room
He was gaining consciousness. He felt a very soft bed underneath him. He slowly opened his eyes but due to high amount of light, his eyes got closed. He again opened them and saw doctors discussing something with his parents. He wanted to call his mom but his larynx refused to produce any kind of sound. Doctor saw him and came towards him.
Doctor: hello Mr. Sanskar! How are you feeling now? (Sanskar could not produce any sound.) What happened? Any problem? (Sanskar nodded) ok, I am giving you a writing pad and pen. Write on this and tell us what problem are you having? (Sanskar writes that he cannot speak and doctor checks him) due to excess pressure on his larynx for a long time, the capability of sound production is lost. But there is nothing to worry. I am prescribing some medicines. He will be fine within one week. (Police comes and takes his statement in written form. He tells them that he was attacked by a group of professional robbers. He told them the get up of all the robbers and his car’s number. When they got out of the room, his father came forward and threw pad on his face)
DP: didn’t you got peace by doing all this. (shouting) you must have thought that my parents are living in peace since past year, so why not disturb them and snatch their sleep. Tell me you would destroy our name in the society using how many ways? I thought that you will have got a good lesson by your “adventure” with Swara but no. you proved me wrong and you have maintained your previous record efficiently. (sarcastically) congratulations, my son!
AP: stop it ji. Maybe he is saying truth!
DP: truth and Sanskar! No match. Tell me one time when he has spoken the truth. I would never believe him. (looking at Sanskar) I don’t know what sin I did that God gave me a son like him. I am fed up of his absurdities.
AP: and that car…..
DP: he would have dumped that also. He lied previously when he dictated the get up of robbers. He would have done the same. (Sanskar wanted to scream out aloud but he was helpless. He started crying and joined his both hands in front of DP. They both were stunned because he never cried. Not even on the death of his close ones and now he was crying miserably. DP and AP stole glances at each other and then AP hugged him. She started comforting him but he kept crying for long.)
AP: calm down. Calm down my son. You are safe here. We are with you. I promise you we will never shout on you. We believe you. We believe you Sanskar! Now stop crying. What happened? You never cried, then today……
DP: I am going with police to find out about the tragedy. You take care of him.
AP: ok! you go.
(he goes out and she sits there trying to cool him up. After a couple of days, he was able to walk and was discharged. He went to his room with AP and DP. For the first time, he felt shame seeing the posters. There was a time when he felt proud seeing his room but now he did not even look up. They laid him on the bed and then went out after saying some precautionary measures to him. He then locked his room and tore all the posters of actresses. He then collected all the magazines and threw them on the torn posters. He collected all his irrelevant things and placed them on that heap. He then searched for his match box and set them on fire. He watched them burning and the talks of Swara were echoing in his mind. She said right that pain is next to ecstasy. Death was pain. He then remembered her saying that nothingness is next to pain. Grave was nothingness. He then remembered her saying that hell is next to nothingness and he was living in hell. He wondered how she knew about that when she herself was just eighteen years old. He was having more IQ level than her, then why he was not able to understand these things at that time. She said right that “a time will come when you will get afraid of death. You will feel afraid of God”. He was feeling afraid of death. He was frightened from God. The images of him performing different sins were playing in his mind and he was feeling ashamed. He remembered Swara’s smiling face when she was discussing something with her friends. He then remembered her crying face when her eyes were red and puffy due to continuous crying. Tears fell from his eyes and he stood in front of mirror. He observed his face. It has different marks and his beard was growing. His hairs were long and tied in a pony. He looked at his eyes and remembered Swara saying that “I loathe your eyes. You have got no shame, Sanskar”. He immediately looked down and then took shaving blade. He cut his long hairs and shaved his beard. He then took a warm shower of about two hours. He was continuously crying and asking forgiveness from God as if he was in some other religion before. He went out of bathroom and entered his wardrobe. He removed all his T-shirt and pants which were painted with some girls faces. He got dressed in elegant gentleman shirt and a pant. He sat on his bed and closed his eyes. Face of Swara flashed in his mind and he became restless. He did not even remembered one verse of Holy Vedah. He cursed himself in mind and went out.)