Hey Everyone !
Aamna Here ?
How R U people?
Let’s Start with a Smile ?
Swara was waiting for Sanskaar , it was 11 at night and everyone had their dinner and left to their room , they were sleeping without caring that Sanskaar didn’t came home by yet ?
She was pacing the hall waiting for him when she heard foot steps , She looked at the entrance to find a tired and pale sanskaar walking back with office bag.
She walked toward’s him and hugged him tightly taking him by Suprise , Sanskaar was suprise , He was taken back by sudden hug , He wasn’t expecting someone to be up for him.
And why would he even expect ? His heart knows expectation just hurts ? His soul had stopped expecting any thing from relationship cause it don’t have more capability to bear hurt and betrayal ?
Every time he expect something from anyone , He ends up getting himself hurt , In last six month’s what he had realised he isn’t made for love ?
S:S..swara why are you up till now ? You should have slept till now.
Sw:(breaking hug) How can I sleep Sanskaar when you wasn’t home yet ? How can you expect me to rest when you might not have eaten anything yet ?
S:(blankly) Like you did in last six month’s , Is there any need for this concern when it wasn’t there in last six month’s ? When you didn’t cared then , than what’s the need of it now ? Don’t wait for me Swara ? Cause it will just hurt you and I still can’t see someone hurting you !
He said and left from there leaving Swara in tears of guilt and hurt ? She had hurted him badly , crushed his emotions and shattered his soul ?
She accused him of anger but she didn’t realised that moment she was the one who spoke in anger and left , He tried to stop her by warning her but least caring about it she left him.
She didn’t once thought what might be his condition after her ? He has always stood beside her when she needed and when it was her turn to support him , She left his hand and more over accused him for the thing he would never even think to do in his wildest dream ?
He might not have expected anyone else to stand for him but her , but she crushed his expectations ? He loved her the most and just expected her support ? but what she did ? Left him alone broken and shattered ?
How can she do this?
Swara went toward’s kitchen took some food for them and left to their room , She reached the room and saw Sanskaar taking out his clothes from wardrobe.
Sw:Sanskaar ! Come have your food ?
S: I am not hungry Swara ? and no need to do this for me ?
Sw:B..But Sanskaar ! Did you have dinner from outside ?
Sanskaar smiled painfully and replied with in a painful tone ?
S:Huh ! Does it matters Swara that I have had some thing or i’nt ? Have your dinner and sleep..
Swara felt bad and hurt from this reply , but she knew he was correct at his pov, no one has cared for him in last six month’s not even her, She called him everyday but never asked about him or his health ?
Swara was about to go and keep the food back when Sanskaar stopped her and said.
S:I said have your food Swara.
Something striked Swara and she smirked Cutely but it wasn’t noticed by Sanskaar.
Sw:(Stubbornly) No I won’t ?
S:Why ?
Sw:Until you won’t have , I won’t even eat ?
S:Don’t be stubborn Swara ?
Sw:Even you don’t be stubborn Sanskaar ?
S:(whinning) Swaraaaaa
Sw:(same tone) Sanssskaaar ?
S:Ugh ?? Have your food Swara! Don’t do this ?
Sw:(innocently) What am I doing Sanskaar?
S: Eat your food ?
Sw:No… Have food with me and then I will have it ?
Sanskaar knowing she won’t give up to her stubbornness , left with no option he sat with her on couch with a cute angry face ?
Swara served him food and then her , they quitely started having their food , Swara was happy that she was successful in making him eat ?
After having food she went to keep plates back in kitchen , She came back and saw Sanskaar changed into his night suit and taking his pillow and blanket from bed , Fear gripped her ? was he avoiding her ?
Sw:Sss..Sanskaar ! Why are you taking them ? Aren’t you going to sleep on bed ?
S:No , u can go and sleep ?
Sw:(sobbing lightly)Sss..Sanksaar ! Please don’t do this ! Please don’t leave your bed for me , sleep here I will sleep on couch ? I know you are doing this to ignore me ?
S:(painfully)I have got addicted on sleeping couch since last six month’s and more over ! I am not ignoring you Swara but trying to avoid any kind of pain in future ?
Sw:(Standing infront of him , cupping his face) SS.. Sanskaar! Am I a pain to you ?
S:(Teary Eyed) No Swara ! (With painful and hurt voice) but yeah ! My expectations always got hurt ? I don’t want to expect anything from now on from anyone !
Cause now I don’t have the strength to bear any pain , hurt or betrayal ! I have composed myself with very difficulty in last six month’s and if this time you left me na or my expectations would be crushed I won’t be able to survive ?
I have know one thing ! I am not made for love ? Everyone has left me in the middle when I need them the most ? I don’t deserve love and happiness and now I don’t even crave for them anymore ?
Swara whenever I have expected us to be happy na something has each time came in between ? I am not your first priority but your family ?
I am the last person in the list for whom you care ? you thought about how much Ragini was in pain but did you thought how much in pain I was?
Do you know Swara ? Our Seperation won’t have hurt me and given me pain much of you have gone with Ragini to just take care for her , but your distrust and blames haunted me every single minute like hell ?
Did you once thought how might have I felt when you said you won’t wear Mangalsutra and Sindoor ? I felt myself as dead Swara ? My pain was nothing for you cause I was the reason if everyone’s pain ?
Your blames were the worst thing in alst six month’s, I had worst headaches during nights , I just craved for your presence around me but the worst thing was your blame ? In last six month’s I haven’t slept a minute cause of your blames (Swara was shocked knowing he didn’t slept in last six month’s) whenever I closed my eye’s na that day came infront of my eyes hurting me as hell ?
Yes Swara! I am suffering for insomnia since last six month’s ? but why would you care? Cause everyone was in pain cause of me ? I am the reason of everyone’s pain , I am the reason everyone lost there smile na ?
So I have separated my self from all ! Don’t worry this time I won’t be reason of anyone’s pain cause I won’t even come near you people! Be happy cause my presence effect’s everyone as a bad , I am nothing but like a bad omen to everyone ?
So it’s better for me to be away from everyone , the much I will be distanced from you people through you will be happy ?
Sw:(crying by now)No..No Sanskaar it isn’t like this ?
S:No Swara it’s like this only ? Accept the fact that I am not the old Sanskaar but just a living dead body , I do breath but I don’t have a reason to live ?
Tears were rolling down their eye’s ? Swara was drowning in guilt ? She was unable to bear his this condition ? He wasn’t expecting anything in his life just cause of her ?
Once happy and lively person was silent and gloomy now because of her , the person who was the reason of many smiles has lost his own , His face had lost that charm ?
His Eye’s just shows the pain and hurt he is suffering from but not his face! He has mask his hurt behind that fake smile that don’t even reached his eye’s..
No ! Everything has changed ? Every single thing.. Once his smile was the reason for other’s to smile and today it’s lost some where in the darkness she herself pushed him in darkness?
The once glowing face has turned all pale ! Once the sanskaar who use to find small reasons to smile and make other’s smile is now all lost somewhere ??
Sanskaar layed on couch and closed his eye’s but she knew he wasn’t sleeping , Swara to went toward’s bed and layed down ?
Both were silently crying to themselves ? their relationship had been shattered beyond her thinking , He was hurt , He was in pain just due to her distrust ?
Swara was crying silently and being tired and drained out from energy fell into deep slumber but Sanskaar was awake whole night thinking about last six month’s ?
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°
Here I End this Shot ?
Hope it was Upto the mark ☺
Do share your views wether +’ve or -‘ve
Wattpad I’d: Broken_Angel_27
I have started writing a SwaSan book on Wattpad ? Do give it a read ?
Bye Everyone !
See U Soon ?
Urs Aanu ?