||Chapter 8||
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Next day
Swara was walking towards the canteen with her eyes fixed at her mobile phone, she was trying to call her friend who suddenly vanished from the college
When suddenly bumped into someone
Swara:Ouch
She raised her head to look at the person and it was the person didn’t wish to see anytime sooner
Sanskar was already looking at her, wanting to say something…really something or a lot of things. Last night in fact last three days while he was away from the city he was thinking just about her proposal, about her
He has decided that he is not angry with her,no not at all. But is it that easy for him to forget whatever she said the truth that she unknowingly revealed to him.
He wanted to tell her that he is not upset with her, he don’t want to break their friendship. He’d be okayor atleast he’d pretend he is if she loves him but he can’t reciprocate her feelings not because he loves some one else but because he just don’t want to fall in love right now.
Not because he doesn’t like the feeling of love or he hates love but because he had just planned his life that way.
He wants to tell her that he completely respects her feelings and he doesn’t have any problem with that but somewhere in his heart he still feels that may be she has a feeling of attraction towards him, may be it will fade with time. Or may be…
He’s very much worried for her. He knows that because of this sudden revelation her life would have became disorganized, everything would be so jessed for her even. If he’ll continue his friendship with her, it would become more difficult for her to pretend that everything is alright though it’s not or if he stops talking to her, in a sense breaks their friendship then it is obvious that it will worsen the situation as well. The confession which out of the blue has successfully made everything as complicated as it could be.
His thoughts were broken when Swara broke their eyelock
Swara: I’m so…sorry! (Saying so she turned to leave,she just took two steps when Sanskar held her wrist and made her turn again)
Again their eyes met
Sanskar’s eyes were showing worry towards her and care while her eyes showed hidden love, pain and most important guilt… Yes, she was guilty, guilty of confessing her feelings to him& guilty of creating unnecessary disturbances in his life
She lowered her eyes not wanting to look into his eyes which had the power to make her fall for him more and more
Swara: Yes San….Yes!!..!!
Sanskar: I need to talk to you Swara (softly )
Swara: Woh I’m little busy now…Any important work?
Sanskar: Yes can we meet after college? (Expecting a yes)
Swara: Woh…Woh(fumbling with words)Han Woh I’m busy after college
Sanskar knew that she’s telling a lie but he just can’t leave her like this she will surely turn herself in something worse if he would not talk to her
Sanskar: Oh okay. (Thought for a while)
It’s okay you complete your work,let’s meet in evening after dinner. Near that park in front of B-Block
Swara was not able to find any reason to deny so just nodded in acceptance and left the place, his gaze followed her retreating figure until she was out of his vision
Night
Park
Sanskar was sitting on a bench and was seeing the surroundings, cool breeze was blowing, old people who came down for walk were walking and talking in group. Children were playing in the kids park nearby. Their mothers were sitting on the benches laid nearby or few were helping their little ones ride swings.
The environment was so calm and relaxing, everybody looked pleased with the weather but here he was sitting trying to prepare himself to talk to Swara. He didn’t want to make any wrong move now
After some moments Swara came there, she was not looking that cheerful as always no charm was there on her face instead she was looking very upset and tired, no matter if she was not talking to Sanskar but her eyes her countenance were enough for him to understand her.
He felt something prick his heart when he saw Akshat coming with her
Akshat saw Sanskar there and understood that why Swara brought him here along with her, he was actually wondering earlier why suddenly she wants to pay a visit here and now he exactly knows why.
They reached near Sanskar
Sanskar stood up and Akshat went and said a hi to him
Akshat:Hi Sanskar!Seeing you after a long time
Akshat tried not to let Sanskar know that he knows everything
Sanskar also tried to behave normal
Sanskar:Hello Akshat.Ya I went out of city for some work
(Swara felt a little relaxed that he was not absent due to her)
Akshat:Oh
Akshat was feeling awkward while Swara was activated on silent mode she was not speaking anything
Akshat thought to excuse himself just that his phone ranged he thanked the caller in mind and left from there excusing himself
Akshat: I’ll be back in sometime. Excuse me
Now only swasan were left there
Swara was looking at the ground or everywhere except looking at him
And he was looking at her thinking how to start the conversation
After few minutes of silence, Sanskar broke the silence
Sanskar: Swara
She looked towards him and just hummed
Sanskar:(directly coming to the point) Why are you ignoring me Han?
Swara:No Sanskar, I didn’t ignore you…(interrupted)
Sanskar: See Swara there is no use of telling a lie You also know it very well and even I know…(interrupted By Swara)
Swara(teary eyed): So why were you asking this if you know me so well.Why are you meeting me again and again?
Sanskar: Swa(interrupted)
Swara:You know Sanskar that I’m feeling guilty of my stupid confession. I’m not sure what I should do. I m just cursing that day when we went to that unfortunate party. But in a sense it is good! Right?Atleast you got to know my true face,you came to know that I love you. But this is just the half truth Sanskar, in all these years I never confessed my feelings not because I was afraid of your reaction.But because I never wanted to be a hurdle in your life. However I being a dolt revealed everything in the most crazy way that could ever be
Tears made their way through her eyes, running freely down her cheeks and she was least concerned to wipe them off.
Sanskar held her hand,making her sit on the bench
He himself sat on the ground on his knees
Sanskar: Swara first stop crying. You have not done anything wrong it was just you were not in your senses and spitted out everything in a little wrong manner.I’m not angry with you Swara.
Swara(slow voice): But I cheated our friendship by hiding this, I sort of betrayed you
Sanskar: Swara you are not understanding(saying this he ran his hand through his hair)
Swara:No, Sanskar I understood everything now, I know I’m late but now I’m right… you know trust is the base of every relationship be it friendship only and by hiding my honest feelings, I did wrong.I know you would’ve felt very bad listening to all that but still you dropped me home.You were always a true friend and you still are,you’re trying to convince me that I’m not entirely wrong but I know I’m. I can’t tell how guilty I’m (interrupted)
Sanskar: No Swara don’t be guilty of anything,please, if I can’t reciprocate your feelings we can at least continue our friendship…we can right?
Swara: No Sanskar I don’t want to burden you with my feelings. This revelation developed awkwardness between us, seeing my face you would actually remember that I love you which will lead to problems and now even I would not be able to stay with you like before.
Sanskar: So what Do you want?(softly)
Swara stood up and turned another side closing her eyes she tightly fisted her fingers
Swara:Let’s part our ways Sanskar.Let’s forget everything.You move on your way and I’ll move on my, let’s forget that we are…no we were friends (tears escape her eyes)this is only the solution (she wiped her tears quickly without his notice and turned with a smile)
And don’t think that I’ll be sad and all gloomy. I’ll be happy with this…so…what do you say, you agree to it?
(Dilon ki mohabbat ko baandhe kyun
Haaye re!
Dilon ki mohabbat ko baandhe kyun
Haaye re!
Daayre.. daayre..
Daayre.. daayre..)
Initially Sanskar did not want to do this but he also knew that she’s saying correct, this can be the only solution because staying together will lead to a lot many problems between them
He nodded his head in acceptance
Sanskar: But we will never hesitate if we need each other’s help.We will directly ask each other for help.
I’ll always be there for you Swara.
Okay and don’t worry now and don’t be guilty just stay happy…and take care.
( Hain kyun faasle darmiyaan leke aaye re
Hain kyun faasle darmiyaan leke aaye re
Daayre.. daayre..
Daayre.. daayre…)
Swara nodded smilingly
At one side her heart was paining doing this while on other side she was feeling better after talking to him and parting their ways for their own welfare
(Kaanch ke wo khwaab
naazuk the humare saare
Chhoone se hi tootne lage
Mannaton mein umr bhar ka
saath jinka manga
Humsafar wo chhootne lage)
Both moved two-three steps in opposite direction when they both turned around to look at another at same time
They had a short eyelock
Breaking the eye lock Swara ran towards him and hugged him with such force that he stumbled a little but later stood straight
His hands also reached her back reciprocating the hug whereas her hands were around his back
Both stood there like this only for few seconds but they were like ages for them
She felt so happy and emotional as it was their first and.. last hug according to them.
Sanskar also felt unknown happiness and pain knowing it was their first and last hug so he also hugged her back without thinking anything
(Na marna munasib
Jiya bhi naa jaaye re
Na marna munasib
Jiya bhi naa jaaye re
Haaye re!
Daayre.. daayre..
Daayre.. daayre..
Oo… na na..)
Breaking the hug and murmuring a sorry quickly Swara ran to her block without looking back at Sanskar
And Sanskar was standing there all still only.Seeing her going away from him
To be continued…
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Hey people how ya doing? Great? Well I’m not doing that good with all these books surrounding me. Anyway, please do share your views I’m quite eager to hear them, I wish you liked the chapter.
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Regards,
Shreeya