“You are not able to believe it right? But Sanskar whether you believe it or not but this is the truth. Ragini haven’t renovated the room infact she was not even knowing about it nd if she would have been slightest idea also den she wouldn’t have let us so that.” AP said further breaking Sanskar’s trance.
“Yes Bhai it’s true. You know wen I said to Ragini that we’ll renovate your room then Ragini had refused straight away nd you know what she said; she said that you don’t like changes nd especially in your room nd she won’t do anything which you don’t like. She also said that you had many memories with each nd every belongings of this room nd she just can’t keep you away from those memories nd she wanted the room to be the same only so that when you come back den you don’t feel stranger in your own room.” Uttara revealed nd Sanskar closed his eyes in regret nd guilt. What had he done? Here she was not ready to remove even a single item of his room because he had many memories with them nd he accused her for taking away Swara’s memory from him.
“Now still you had any doubts in your mind Sanskar or should I present any other proof in front of you? Because basically you believe on what you see right?” AP said with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice nd Sanskar dipped his head down in regret.
“Nikhil was right in thinking that you won’t be like this change but it was me who was adamant about it because I thought that you need to move on from your past nd accept the change in your life. I don’t think that I had to remind you Sanskar that you are married to Ragini for almost 8 months for now nd still you are stuck up in your past. I don’t deny that you Love Swara deeply nd she was worth your love but you have to accept it Sanskar that swara is dead now. She’s not going to come back. Swara was your past nd Ragini is your present nd you have to live in your present for your better future. And that’s the reason we decided to remove Swara’s memories from your room so that you can realize this fact nd give place to new memories in your heart but I didn’t know that my this thought will turn dreadful for Ragini.” She said nd Sanskar just stood over dere listening to each nd every word of his maa which seems to be so familiar to him.
“Do you have even slightest idea Sanskar what went through Ragini when you had left for London all of a sudden? She was like a lifeless body whose soul has left her. She went aloof from everyone, hardly comes out from her room. She neither laughs nor did she plays any kind of pranks along with Laksh and Uttara nor did talk much to anyone. it was as if her lyf was confided in that room only. The glow on her face, the spark in her eyes seems to be lost somewhere. Nikhil had even taken her office also with him but that too didn’t help to bring her normal self back. It was today Heer and Uttara had taken her out forcefully or else she had denied today also going anywhere. Ragini had never told me Sanskar but I know that you had never ever called her in this 1 month to know how is she though she use to say that you talk to her every night before sleeping but I am not fool to not to see through her lie but I didn’t said anything because I don’t want her attempt to present you as a doting husband in front of the family futile. And today after whole 1 month I saw her being normal self, I saw the glow of her face, the spark in her eyes back. I saw that smile back on her face which was lost somewhere since the tym you had gone nd you know how it happened? It happened just by the mere news of you coming back. She just heard that you are back nd she ran away to her room to meet you to see you after whole 1 month. It was as if she had found something precious. And what you did, you just shattered all her happiness, all her excitement, all her hopes, you had shattered her Sanskar in just a matter of few seconds with your harsh words which were based just on your own assumptions.” AP said angrily making Sanskar even more guilty of his actions.
“I don’t know what happened between you nd Ragini that you had distanced yourself from her like this nd I won’t even ask to you also as it’s the matter between a husband nd a wife nd I am no one to interfere in that but Sanskar I’ll interfere in what you did today because Ragini is as important to me as you nd others members of the family. And what you did today with her is truly unacceptable nd I am really hurt nd disappointed from you. I had never expected this from you Sanskar, never ever. If you can’t keep her happy, if you can’t love her, if you can’t give her the place that she actually deserve then don’t do it Sanskar but atleast don’t hurt her like this. This is the least I can expect from you Sanskar.” AP said last line rather painfully before leaving from there followed by Uttara who just gave Sanskar a painful look leaving him alone in the pool of his own regrets.
Sanskar thumped on the floor on his knees as he registered each nd every word of AP making him feel more nd more guilty of his actions. He closed his eyes nd Ragini’s teary face nd her painful eyes came in front of his eyes wen he was accusing her for no fault of hers. As AP & Uttara’s words rang in his mind along with his own words that he said to her the pain nd regret in his heart increased 10 folds. A lone tear escaped his eyes as he realized how much pain he had given her not only just physically but emotionally too just because of his one wrong assumption. How can he even think of Ragini doing something like that? Had he been unaware of the bond between her and Swara that he had said all that to her? The girl who had sacrificed her every dreams, her every wishes to fulfill just one wish of her elder sister can’t even think of doing something like that nd he inspite of knowing this fact also said all those things to her which he was not supposed to just because his own turmoil was taking toll on him, just because he was so much frustrated on himself that he was ignoring what his heart was saying to him.
“What had I done? In my own turmoil I had hurted her. She was so happy to see me nd I just ruined it in seconds. Maa said that she was like a lifeless soul in this 1 month nd that too because of me. In my own turmoil I didn’t thought that what would be going through her with my sudden departure. And today wen she was so excited to see me I shattered her with my baseless accusations. She was trying to say something nd I cut her Everytime. I accused her of the thing that she can’t even think of doing in her wildest dreams. She was crying, she was pained, she was hurt nd it’s all because of me. Why? Why I had become so insensitive at that moment that I couldn’t differentiate between right nd wrong? How will I face her now? How will I fix everything that I had ruined with my own hands? But I’ll do that. I’ll ask forgiveness from Ragini nd for that I’ll bend on my knees also if I have to.” Sanskar thought with a determination nd get up from the floor nd headed towards his room to ask forgiveness from the angel who had just gave him happiness nd he just gave her nothing except pain
**********************************
Ragini was lying on the bed sobbing badly clutching Swara’s pic close to her heart. Sanskar’s harsh words were ringing continuously in her mind hurting her even more. It’s been 1 hour since there confrontation but the pain in her heart is still the same. The wound that Sanskar had given her is not going to heal soon nd she was not sure that whether it will heal also or not. Each nd every word of Sanskar was like venom which was now spreading all over her heart suffocating her even more. How could he even think of her like that? He said that he can read her eyes then why he didn’t read that she’s innocent. The skin of her arms where Sanskar had gripped tight was wounded due to his nail marks was burning with pain but she didn’t even care to put ointment on it. Since the tym Sanskar had left the room she was crying like this only in pain though she was not sure yet that which pain is more; the pain which she was having due to his nail marks on her soft skin or the pain that she was feeling in her heart currently.
“Di….. Di you believe your Laado Na….. You know Na that I can never do anything like that….. Then Di why Sanskar is not believing me….. Why is he thinking that I had removed all those items from our room which connected him to you……? I swear di I haven’t done it…… you please say to Sanskar na that I haven’t done this…… he’ll believe you…. please Di tell him that I haven’t done this….. Please” she complained to Swara’s pic like a kid between her sobs not able to bear this much pain unknown of the fact that someone is listen to her talks nd her each nd every word was like a knife stabbing in his heart making him more nd more guilty.
Sanskar had just came back into his room to apologize to Ragini wen he heard her sobbing nd he stopped dead in his tracks on the door not sure whether he’s strong enough to go inside nd face her or not. And that’s wen he heard her complaining to Swara nd he didn’t missed the immense pain in her each nd every word that she uttered making him realize the intensity of his actions. He just stood over dere nd a lone tear escaped his eyes as he saw her in pain nd even worse being himself is the reason of her pain.
How will he face her now at this condition of hers when she’s so much broken nd that too due to him. But he had to do this, he had to go to her nd apologize. Already in his guilt trip he had done lots of damages but not anymore now. He was feeling guilty that’s a different thing but in his guilt, in his regret he won’t hurt Ragini anymore now. Therefore he somehow gathered some courage nd stepped inside with heavy heart heading towards their bed with slow steps as if trying to gather some courage before facing her.
Ragini sensed his presence in the room as soon as he stepped inside. She don’t have to turn back nd see to know it as she could recognize him from his fragrance, from his breath but currently she’s not in state to confront him again. What if he would again accuse her of anything else; she won’t be able to bear any more harsh words of his. She already had enough for this evening. Therefore she quickly wiped away her tears nd closed her eyes tight pretending to be sleeping. She felt some weight on the bed nd she held her breath while closing her eyes tight so that she won’t get weak. Sanskar couldn’t see her face as she was facing her back to him but he knows that she’s not sleeping nd was trying her best to pretend to sleep. And as he looked over her shoulder his heart shattered into pieces seeing her clutching Swara’s pic tight to her heart while the pillow underneath her was wet with her tears. He keeps on looking at her while she was trying her best to muffle the sob that was desperate to escape from her throat. He saw her struggling hard to not cry in front of him as she gulped the lump that had formed in her throat in order to control her sob.
Unable to sit nd saw her like that Sanskar get up from the bed nd went to washroom taking his clothes along to change. Ragini opened her eyes as soon as she heard the door of Washroom being shut nd the tears that she was holding till now finally made its way down her eyes as she started crying once again nd didn’t realize wen she dozed off crying. Sanskar’s heart was not at peace as he took shower to give some relief to his aching heart which was crying in pain seeing her in tears nd the worst part is that those tears are due to him. It was him only who had said her once that he can’t see her in tears nd today she was crying due to him only. It was not the first tym that he had shouted at her for no fault of hers he had shouted at her before too but Everytime she had forgiven him with a smile on her face nd let go of everything but this tym Damage is big nd he knows that because this tym he had hurt her more than ever, this tym he had shattered her by accusing her of something which she can’t even commit even in her wildest dreams. How badly he wished that he could turn back the tym nd stop himself from uttering those harsh words but the fact is that he can’t do that inspite of regretting of his actions. God knows will he able to ask apology from her also or not but he’ll not let his guilt took over him once again. This tym he’ll not run away from her nd will do everything to fix the damage that he had done.
Determining this he closed the shower nd came outside after changing into his tracks nd vests. Wen he came outside he saw that Ragini had finally drifted into deep slumber nd den as if in a trance his feet automatically lead him near him. He bent down on his knees on the floor so that he could face her. He keeps on looking intently at her as he noticed her eyes still wet with tears nd the dried marks of tears in her face. Her face looks so pale yet she was looking so innocent while sleeping nd he had hurted her so much. Sanskar gently extended his hand nd very slowly removed the hair strands that was coming on her face nd tucked them behind her ears caressing her soft skin in the process. He gently wiped away the tear marks from her cheek with his thumb nd that’s wen he noticed that she’s still clutching Swara’s pic tight in her hands. He tries to removes it but she clutched it even more tight so Sanskar let it be like that only knowing very well that she wont let it go even in her sleep also nd here he had accused her of removing Swara’s memories from their room
“I am sorry Ragini. I am really very sorry. In my own turmoil, in my own frustration, in my own helplessness I had hurted you this much. You had changed yourself so much because of me, had left all those dreams behind that you use to see for you marriage nd Love life to fulfill Swara’s last wish, had done everything to keep this marriage working nd in return I did nothing but to just give you pain, to accuse you of something which you can never do. Please try to forgive me Ragini if you can because I am definitely not able to forgive myself. I promise Geet that I’ll fix everything. I promise that I’ll bring back that smile back on your face. I promise. Please forgive me Ragini.” Sanskar almost whispered while gently caressing her forehead as of taking all her pains that he gave her nd gently kissed her forehead before getting up from there nd laying down on couch. He keeps on looking at her sleeping form nd didn’t realize wen did he slept waiting for next day to come.
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As the morning rays hit the sky Sanskar slowly opened his eyes as the sunrays coming through the window falls on his eyes forcing him to open them. He slowly got up while rubbing his eyes in order to get rid from his sleep nd stretched his arms wen the events of last night flashed in front of his eyes nd he instantly looked at the direction of bed only to find it empty nd panic took over him as he didn’t saw Ragini in the room. Did she left him due to what he did last night, he thought as his eyes restlessly searched for her but then he heard the sound of shower from washroom nd he sighed in relief realizing that she was taking shower nd had not left him. But then he frowned thinking that how come she got up so early today. But then he thought that probably he had got up late today as he had spent better part of night in regretting on his deeds nd it was early dawn wen he finally slept probably that’s why he got up late today. But as his gaze falls on watch he realized that he got up on his usual tym den how come Ragini is so early today.
He was contemplating on his thoughts only wen his gaze falls on the belongings of his rooms nd he just stood over dere rooted nd shocked as he wanders his gaze all around the room. The walls of the room were once again adorned with his nd Swara’s pic including their wedding pic too while there’s not a single pic of Ragini like before. All those old items which were removed from the room were once again placed at its original place in short his room was became like what it was before. There’s not a single trace of the renovation done by AP nd he don’t have to guess who did this nd as realization hits him he closed his eyes in regret realizing that its Ragini who had done these changes. She had made everything like before, had removed each nd every pic of hers nd other things replacing it with Swara’s nd his pic nd the old things. A lump formed in his throat as he realized that this is the reason Ragini had got up early today. She had taken each nd every word of his in her heart nd why wouldn’t she. The way he had spat those words on her last day it was obvious for her to do such thing, he thought as he waited eagerly for her to come out from the washroom so that he could apologize to her.
And den as if god felt mercy on his condition, his wait finally ended as he saw Ragini coming out from washroom door looking downwards while wiping her wet hairs. She didn’t saw Sanskar standing nd as a result she collided with his hard frame causing to lose her balance but before she can touch the ground she felt someone holding her from waist nd she closed her eyes recognizing the touch. It’s the only touch that she can recognize even with her close eyes as it is the touch of the person whom she loves beyond the limit of sanity. It’s the touch of her Sanskar. Sanskar pulled her towards himself making her stand on her feet while still holding her close by her waist. He saw at her closed eyes nd as always he was lost in her angelic face. Those wet hairs of hers were making her look so alluring. At that moment everything else seems to be slipped somewhere at the back of his mind; his guilt, his regret, his dilemma everything nd all what he could see nd feel is she, her aroma nd her being so close to him.
Ragini slowly opened her eyes only to meet his dark ones which were looking intently at her nd like always she was lost in those dark eyes which seems to see through her soul with them. Sanskar looked at her one eye to another only to find it red nd puffy due to crying whole night but what made his heart squeezed in pain is the amount of pain in them. The eyes which always had spark in them were now laced with pain nd hurt. Her eyes were mirror of her heart nd it was showing loud nd clear that how much his heart is hurt with his harsh words. He just wanted to hug her tight at that very moment to take away that pain. That painful look in her eyes has made him die thousand deaths but he was hesitant to take a step towards her not because of his dilemma but because of his regret. What if she wont like it as he knows that she had not forgiven him nd he don’t even know that will she forgive him also or not. Geet was in some kind of spell as he looked into his eyes which were speaking volumes confessing what he was feeling right now, his unspoken love for her.
“Love”? no it can’t be. She’s again thinking too much, she’s again seeing that thing which can’t be possible in this birth; she’s again expecting something unexpected, she thought nd her eyes welled up as this thought crossed her mind. As the events of last night came in her mind she immediately realized what she was doing nd she tried to free herself from his embrace while looking other side. This movement of hers was enough to break Sanskar’s trance nd he reluctantly free her from his arms. Ragini immediately rushed towards the dresser avoiding any kind of confrontation with him nd Sanskar was pained to see her indifference but he deserves it, isn’t he, he thought as he looked at her wiping her hairs while looking down.
“Ragini” he called out her name huskily nd Ragini making her halt in her actions nd she looked at him through the mirror only to find her standing behind her at a distance.
“Ragini I wanted to say something to you” he said after gathering much courage nd Ragini fidgeted with her towel anticipating what else was left to say after last night. She was in no state to take his harsh words further.
“Ragini, Woh main……”
“I know what you want to say.” Ragini said while turning around interrupting him in between while Sanskar looked at her in confusion.
“Don’t worry it won’t happen again. Though I still don’t know how it all happened but from next tym I’ll make sure that I should know about such changes. I promise it won’t happen again.” Ragini said nd Sanskar felt more regret for his words but even in his regret also he didn’t missed tinge of hurt in her voice.
“Ragini it’s not like that. Actually…..”
“I know that I can’t take Di’s place neither in your life nor in your heart. Haan for some moment I forget the truth of our relationship, I forgot that our relationship is based on compromise, I forgot that I am a responsibility for you but now I won’t do this again. I told you before also nd again saying that I’ll never take Di’s place neither in your heart nor in your lyf because I know I just can’t no matter what. You don’t have to worry for anything from my side. From next tym you won’t be disappointed from me for anything.” Ragini said nd Sanskar didn’t missed the tears in her eyes which were threatening to fall down anytime but before he could say anything to her she went out calling out for Nakul leaving him behind alone nd dumbfounded.
Sanskar just stood over dere speechless for some moment processing Ragini’s words in his mind. Her each nd every word was like a slap to him making him regret again nd again for what he did. How would he tell her that she’s thinking all wrong, that their relationship has gone far beyond compromise; that she’s just not a responsibility for him, that she has become much more than a responsibility for him. How would he tell her that he had said those words in the fit of his own helplessness, in his own turmoil nd now he’s regretting each nd every word said by him. She didn’t let him say anything because she thought that he’ll again accuse her of something nd this shows the intensity of pain he had given her that now she’s again back to the place from where they started their relationship. But he won’t let this happen. He won’t let her drawn in her shell. He know that he had to work hard nd he’ll do everything which can bring that smile back on her face. Thinking this he immediately rushed outside to talk to her wen he found her conversing with Nakul instructing him about something. Sanskar had just opened his mouth only to call out to her wen she went from dere heading towards Kitchen nd Sanskar just stood over dere looking at her retreating figure sighing at his fate.
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It’s been almost an hour since Ragini had spoken to Sanskar in the morning and since then Sanskar haven’t saw her for once. He straightaway went to his gym after he last saw Ragini talking to Nakul to take out all his helplessness nd frustration by doing intense Tai-chi. His own words were running in his mind with each nd ever kick nd punches he throws in air nd as a result his moves gets more nd more vigorous. He just can’t able to ignore Ragini’s voice laced with pain, her teary eyes, that pale nd forlorn look on her face nd all these just because of him. Why? Why he didn’t thought once with a calm mind before saying all that to her. A sudden feeling of losing her gripped his heart making him restless nd scared at the same tym. No he have to do something to bring back her normal self or else he’ll lose her for forever nd this is the last thing he wants. He don’t want to think why he’s scared to lose her because at this moment he just wanted her back to be her normal self nd their relationship like it was before.
After spending a good tym at his gym taking out all his frustration Sanskar came back to his room to take shower hoping to see Ragini to be there but he was disappointed to see that she was not there. For once he thought of calling her in the pretext of something but then he shrugged off his thought thinking that she may be busy in the kitchen preparing coffee for him nd he’ll apologize to her wen she’ll come with his coffee. Keeping this thing in mind he went towards the washroom to take shower wishing what he’s thinking is true nd everything went according to what he had thought.
But things sometimes don’t go as per we planned nd dis is proved in the case of Sanskar as wen he came out from washroom he saw Nakul placing his coffee on the table but his clothes were nicely arranged on the bed. He frowned as he saw Nakul doing the task that Ragini use to do but why is he doing this nd most importantly where is Ragini? Why she’s not here? Was she so angry on him that now she don’t want to see him also, he thought as he saw Nakul going outside after placing his coffee.
“Nakul Wait.” He beckoned him before he gets out the room nd Nakul instantly turned towards him waiting for his order.
“Nakul why you had brought Coffee today? Where is Ragini madam?” he asked sternly yet desperately waiting for him to answer
“Sir Ragini madam had some work in Uttara mam’s room so she has gone there asking me to get you your coffee.” Nakul revealed nd Sanskar sighing knowing why Ragini did it. Going to Uttara’s room is just an excuse. In real she was avoiding him in fear that he’ll again say something to her.
“You want anything else sir.” Nakul’s voice break his trance nd he was about to deny him wen his gaze falls on his shirt kept on the bed nd instantly an idea came into his mind
“ummm Nakul go nd tell your Ragini madam that I am calling her nd its urgent so she come soon nd ya tell her that I want her only so she can avoid her other important task for a while.” Sanskar said authoritatively nd Nakul nodded his head before leaving the room
As soon as Nakul left Sansakr immediately picked up his shirt nd looked at it for sometime. His mind went back to first day after their marriage wen the button of his shirt broke nd Ragini had stitched it. At that tym she was so close to him nd it was den only he was able to make her feel better wen she was feeling low. And it seems today also only this could help him. if he wanted to apologize to Ragini then its necessary for Ragini to stay with him for at least few minutes nd hear him out after that whatever punishment she’ll gave to him, he’s ready to bear that but before that he had to seek apology for his actions. Thinking this he broke 2-3 buttons of his shirt himself making sure that it didn’t looked intentionally patting himself mentally for his intelligence.
He had just finished completing his task wen Ragini had entered inside the room. She was feeling hesitant to face him but since Nakul has said that its something urgent nd he needs her only so she quietly went towards their room having no choice with her. As soon as she entered inside the room she saw Sanskar wearing his half done Shirt nd looking at the buttons on his other hand. She frowns wen she noticed the buttons of his shirt broken as wen she had taken out his shirt it was all right then how come the button got broken nd that too not one but 3 but then she thought that probably she’s thinking too much. Sanskar saw her standing from the corner of his eyes nd he closed his eyes nd took a deep breath before starting his drama.
“O god this button it had to broken now only. What would I wear now?” he said as he picked up the needle nd thread from the dresser pretending that he didn’t saw Ragini.
“Hell here I am getting late for office nd this button is just screwing me up. I don’t even know how to sew the button.” Sanskar said as he struggled to sew the button looking at Ragini from the corner of his eyes who was looking at her perplexed. He took a deep breath before turning towards her because he knows that now he’s going to do the toughest job
“Oh Ragini thank god you came. Ummm Can you please fix this button I am getting late for office. There’s a important presentation lined up today.” He said pretending that he had just noticed her breaking Ragini’s trance
Ragini looked at him nd den at his half done shirt nd den buttons in his hand not sure what to do. Finally after taking a deep breath he moves near him nd Sanskar smiled slightly seeing the success of his idea. He knew that no matter how much she’s upset on him but she’ll never fail to take care of him. He was lost in his thoughts wen Ragini came nd stood near him. She was about to take the thread nd the needle from his hand to sew the button wen his words from last nite ringed back in her ears
“What do you want to prove ha… that you had taken Swara’s place? I told you that no one can take Swara’s place in my heart. Absolutely No One!!!! Yet you tried this.”
“You can’t take Swara’s place Ragini. Did you hear that Ragini, you can’t take her place neither in my heart nor in my life.”
And as these words rang in her mind she draws her hands back nd instantly turned back facing her back to him. Sanskar saw the change of expressions on her face nd den saw her drawing her hands back nd he instantly closed his eyes realizing why she did that. It’s nothing but the impact of his own words due to which she’s feeling hesitant to do anything for him. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes and has raised his hand only turn her around so that she can face him wen she found her stepping away nd moving towards the cupboard. He looks at her confused wen he saw her fishing something in the cupboard nd den he saw her taking out another shirt for him after checking that it’s all fine. And once she was sure that the shirt that she had taken out is all right she come nd extended it towards him.
“You are getting late for office nd it’ll take time to sew 3 buttons so you wear this for now nd I’ll sew the buttons later.” She said extending the shirt towards him waiting for him to hold it while he just looked at her speechless nd confused.
“Sanskar you are getting late.” She said yet again wen she found him lost somewhere breaking his trance nd he absent mindedly took the shirt nd she turned to leave outside.
“Ragini can’t we talk for few moments also. Is my presence suffocating you this much?” Sanskar said rather remorsefully nd Ragini closed her eyes not able to bear his remorseful voice.
“Ragini I just wanted to say that I am……”
“Breakfast is ready Sanskar. Get ready nd come to downstairs soon or else you’ll be late for office.” Ragini said coldly after taking a deep breath interrupting him in between nd moved out from the room leaving him behind lost nd dumbfounded in the pool of his own regrets.
Precap: Picture Abhi baki hai mere Dost
Phew! so dis is it guys… hope you all are going to like it… I’m overwhelmed with the response i got on last part, sorry for not replying everyone individually. Sorry for late update as I told before it was my cousin’s last week. So I was busy with functions and guests.. U know weddings!! I literally salute you all for your deewangi for this ff it makes me feel so blessed… ok so hit the like button if you all like it and do leave your comment/criticism… it’s necessary… I’ll update either Judwaa or Cross connection tomorrow or maybe I’ll update both tomorrow depending on how much time I get…
Take care, stay happy, stay healthy, stay busy, stay blessed, stay loved, keep shining, keep smiling, be confident & you’re beautiful the way you’re…..be yourself!!!!!!!