Hi guys, things have been terribly busy the past week and hence the lack of updates. However, I’m hoping for a few more updates over the weekend. Also, I tried a very breezy 30th episode, but it didn’t seem fitting and felt unnecessarily dragged, so it has been omitted. Thank you everyone for all your comments, I wish I’d the time to reply to all of them but like I said, I haven’t had time. I really appreciate them, though. Happy Reading!
Link to Episode 29: https://www.tellyupdates.com/riansh-becoming-mrs-raisinghania-episode-29/
————
BECOMING MRS. RAISINGHANIA – EPISODE 30: THE FUTURE PREDICAMENT
When Riddhima entered the room, the smell of the scented candles filled her nostrils and a wave of surprise coursed through her as the ambience of the room surrounded her. With dim lights and scented candles in the room, her husband had ensured that their room screamed of romanticism.
Riddhima (chuckling quietly): Did you not have any work at office today?
Vansh leaned against the window and looked at her, the warmth of the candle flame slowly enveloping them in the air-conditioned room. Over the past few weeks, they both had spent extra hours at the office and barely given time to each other.
Vansh: I had one meeting scheduled today with a US client and since Ishani could go meet them in person, she handled it on her own. So, to answer your question, no.
Riddhima folded her hands across herself and leaned against the bedpost, staring back at him over the distance. She noticed how fresh he looked despite his tousled hair, and she smiled softly. He’d looked extremely weary over the past few weeks and a wave of satisfaction coursed through her as she saw him relaxed.
Vansh: What’re you smiling at?
Riddhima: You look well-rested. I’m glad you got some time to yourself today. (looking at the date on the table-clock across the distance) Ishani’s returning day after. She’d called me in the office. Did she call you too?
Vansh walked toward her and stood at a distance from her, letting the area of the carpet span between them. Despite the workload at office, he’d noticed how she’d returned home earlier and had looked lively throughout the evening.
Vansh: She had, but… (stepping closer to her) Can we not talk about the entire world today?
Riddhima: Okay, what do you want to talk about then, Mr. Raisinghania?
Vansh moved closer to her and held her hands, his fingers lacing through her and slowly began drawing patterns on the back of her hand. He knew his wife was smart and despite how clueless she wished to act, he understood the insinuation behind her words easily.
Vansh: I assume you know already.
He stepped closer and as their breaths mingled with each other’s, he placed his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to himself. When her sandalwood scent pierced through his nostril regardless of the candle scents, he realised how dearly he’d missed her.
Riddhima (laughing): I want to sleep, Vansh. You can keep your assumptions and words to yourself. (pushing him away) Good night!
As she tried moving away from, his fingers quickly wrapped around her wrist and he pulled her back to himself, her back hitting against his front. He leaned down and carefully pushing her hair to the right shoulder, he kissed her clavicle, and she felt the muscles within herself tighten.
She sucked in a sharp breath and shut her eyes tightly and let herself fall against him, feeling the lighting streak spread across her skin. Within that moment, she could swear about the goosebumps that sprawled over her skin at the intimacy.
As he continued smothering her skin with kisses, she felt him push down the silk fabric off her shoulder while his hands laced with hers in the front. She gulped visibly and when his lips fell against her skin again, she blinked her eyes open and moved away, nervousness crawling within her.
Vansh (confusion etching across his face): Is everything okay?
Riddhima (nodding and yawning): Yes, absolutely. I’m just really sleepy, so sorry.
He looked at her as she scurried to the bed and pulled the blanket over herself, trying to fall asleep. He could guarantee that she had not been that sleepy, yet as he tried to recall the situation, he could only wonder at how distant her behaviour tended to be in their intimate moments. Sucking in a sharp breath, he blew off the candles in the room and lied down on the bed, letting the thoughts cloud his mind as he stared at the ceiling.
————
Riddhima stood before the mirror and stared at the reflection, her fingers fumbling over the stick. She inhaled a deep breath and looked down at the stick again, wanting to dismiss it as quickly. Over the past few days, she’d purchased multiple of these and gotten increasingly worried. She still couldn’t believe that she’d surrendered herself to those overwhelming emotions.
“Riddhima, are you done?”
When his sharp voice pierced through the tense air, she exhaled a harsh breath and looked down at the stick. As it showed negative, she let her shoulders crumple and shut her eyes briefly, “Almost.”
Moments later, she walked out of the washroom and looked at him, shutting the door behind herself. She looked up at him and smiled softly, wanting to share with him. As he walked past her into the washroom, she shook her head and stood against the dressing unit. She did not know how to tell him; after all, the two of them had never talked about their future plans.
————
Vansh walked out of the washroom and furrowed his brows at Riddhima. He couldn’t believe she was still before the mirror, readying herself for the day. He walked toward her and picked the comb, tidying his wet hair.
Vansh: All okay?
Riddhima blinked her eyes and looked at him through the mirror, slowly nodding her head. She did not know if she wanted to talk to him about their future yet – it had barely been a few weeks to their marriage. However, she did not want to ignore him.
Vansh: You seem disturbed since the last couple of days. More pressure at work?
Riddhima (exhaling a deep breath): Have you thought about our future? About a family?
Vansh paused and looked at her, his eyes widening in surprise. Out of every possible discussion, he definitely hadn’t thought that the idea of a family had been bothering her. He shrugged his shoulders and continued brushing his hair.
Vansh: Not so soon, but definitely sometime in the future. (stifling a smile) However, the way things are going, I don’t know when that future would be.
Riddhima rolled her eyes and turned around, looking at him with a soft gaze. In the past few weeks, she’d tried to convince herself for the otherwise several times, but she hadn’t been able to. She almost felt like she’d betrayed him.
Riddhima: I’m serious, Vansh.
Vansh: So am I. (turning his attention to her) Now tell me, why have you been acting so ignorant?
Riddhima: I thought I was pregnant.
She turned around and pulled a drawer open, drawing out the remaining packages from the drawer and held them before him. She sighed deeply and looked at him apologetically.
Riddhima: My periods have been getting delayed, so after that day… (sucking in a sharp breath) But there’s nothing to worry about.
Vansh stepped closer to her and looked at her endearingly before smiling down at her softly.
Vansh: Is everything okay now?
Riddhima (shaking her head): There’s something I want to tell you.
He continued looking at her and held his hands between hers, trying to comfort him as she readied herself to talk to him. She didn’t want to break his dreams, but despite the number of times she’d tried convincing herself, it had seemed increasingly difficult to feel assured.
Riddhima: I don’t know what you want, Vansh. But a family is not what I want.
Vansh (furrowing his brows): What do you mean? You were fine staying with everyone till…
Riddhima (interrupting): I don’t want kids.
Vansh: We’re not starting a family now, Riddhima. The future…
Riddhima: Ever. Whenever I envision a future, it’s only about the two of us – you and me. I don’t want to have kids.
Vansh: What do you want to do five years into the marriage? Or ten years into the marriage? Heck, the two of us would get bored with each other after a period of time.
Riddhima: No, Vansh. That is not how a marriage works. You did not marry me thinking that I’d be a perfect mother to your future kids, did you? A marriage is not all about just having kids. (sucking in a sharp breath) You ask me about twenty years later? Even thirty years later, I just see the two of us sitting in the balcony and sipping at our tea. I can’t think of anything beyond that.
Vansh: Riddhima, this is not a joke.
Riddhima: And I am not joking. You think I haven’t tried? I love kids myself and I wish I could bring myself to feel convinced about embracing motherhood, but I can’t. I just can’t think of myself doing any of the things that a mother does.
Vansh: This is not funny at all. A marriage is incomplete without kids. What do you want to do in your old age?
Riddhima (fisting her fingers): Says who? I’ve seen happily married couples without kids and they’re doing just as fine. And you think giving birth to kids thinking of our old age is some great idea? (snorting in anger) That’s the stupidest and the most selfish thing I’ve ever heard.
Vansh stepped closer to her and wrapped his fingers around her arms tightly. As his nails began biting onto her skin, she looked into his eyes and saw the Vansh she’d seen when the two of them had first met. The same dark, devilish look that she’d hated. The one she’d despised for days.
Riddhima (trying to hold her tears): You’re hurting me, Vansh.
Vansh: And what are you doing now? Do you know for how long Ma has dreamt of having her grandkids? I’ve heard your mother talk of grandkids too. (looking at her intensely) It’s fine to hurt all their sentiments; But only when someone begins hurting you, you remember about the pain, is it?
Riddhima shut her eyes tightly, trying to ignore the pain that coursed through her. She gulped visibly and let the tears roll down her cheeks as his nails continued biting onto her skin. As the tears fell onto her shoulders – the fabric quickly soaking the water – she felt him move away and leave her quickly.
Vansh (looking down): I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…
Riddhima: You want us to have kids? Just look at us, Vansh. One can’t control their anger and just wants to control others and the other is the daughter of a father who ran away from his responsibilities. We’re not fit to be parents. I don’t want a child to grow up in this environment, despising us for all his/her life.
She brushed the tears from her face roughly and stepped away from him, slowly walking toward the door. She hadn’t wanted their conversation to turn ugly, but she knew how important this discussion was for them. Regardless of their love for each other, they probably wouldn’t be good parents. However, she didn’t want to have any space for confusions; she didn’t want to spoil a child’s future.
Riddhima (turning around from the door): And think back to each of your word, Vansh. You never said you wanted a kid. You kept talking of the ideals in the society. Just because I’m able to see through my decisions and voicing it out, you can’t hold me accountable alone.
As she walked out of the room, he stared at the spots of blood on his fingertips and thought back to the way he’d reacted a few moments before. He looked into the mirror and let her words uncoil in his mind.
Did he really not want a child?
————
These three chapters, beginning from this one, have broken my heart.
I don’t see this issue being addressed a lot in books in general, so I wanted to write about it considering the few topics I’ve written about in this story. To me, marriage isn’t a path to have children and I believe that shouldn’t be the sole reason for getting married. Plus, letting a child grow up in a probable toxic environment is more dangerous.
A lot of you wouldn’t like the turn the story has taken from hereon, but this felt crucial. I couldn’t really imagine Vansh and Riddhima being parents in this story with their characterizations, hence the plot. Anyhow, thanks for reading and stay safe everyone!