Shivaay slowed down the pace of his car as he entered the abandoned road. It was around 12.35 p.m but still sleep was far away from his eyes. He lowered the glass window of his car and slightly propped his head to the side. The cool breeze hit his face and he smiled as a familiar feeling sunk in. The feeling of being at home. This abandoned road had come to become his home.
The abandoned road, Shivaay felt, resembled him. Though it had frequent visitors, it never had a solid company. The trees were there. But it seemed as though if they had had an option they would have ran away. Who wants to be with a monotonous company? The only company that the felt the forlorn road enjoyed was the presence of moonlight. It was everywhere unlike the trees which failed to travel all along. Same was the case with Shivaay. He had people in his life but they failed to go along with him always. He wanted someone to hold his hands and say, “I understand. I am there for you”. And unlike the forsaken road, Shivaay did not have the light of his life. His Anika was not with him anymore.
It had become a routine for him to drive himself back home. All the day he would sit in his cabin and indulge himself in work as it seemed to be the only thing that kept him sane. It was the only thing in his life which was not influenced by her, his Anika. He never really kept track of time. It never mattered to him whether it was day or night, whether it was time to sleep or stay awake. Nothing mattered to him. He felt all alone though he was with people who loved him with all their heart. But something was missing. His own home, the Oberoi mansion suffocated him. The walls confined him. His own family reminded him of her. The love and care made him yearn for her more and more. His room was full of her fragrance and memories. All the things shouting her name and demanding her presence. Everything associated with him was related to her. And all he wanted to do now was run away from things related to her. He couldn’t come in terms with the fact that she was no more. Cause deep down he felt it was false.
Shivaay ran a hand through his hair and stopped the car. He rested his back on the seat and closed his eyes, a very meek attempt to find inner peace. This abandoned road was the only place where he could be with himself. He could cry or laugh, shout or stay silent and do whatever he wished. No one was there to question him. He was tired, tired of people wanting to help him get back to normal. It wasn’t helping. He knew he was far from going back to normal. That would take way too long. He had not yet come in terms with the loss of the love of his life. The one true love he ever had. Tears welled up his eyes. Why his life had to be so complicated? Why can’t he be the stone hearted person people claim him to be? Why was Anika more than anyone and everyone for him? Why did he believe and fall in love? All these questions popped in his mind. But no answer could be heard. And then all the moments he shared with Anika flashed across his eyes. All those wonderful and beautiful moments were now nothing but a painful recollection.
Shivaay shed some silent tears. After a few minutes of cribbing and crying, he looked out and saw the moon. It calmed him to an extent. He felt hopeful every time he looked at the moon. He was relying on a very flimsy thread of hope. His Anika might be alive. He was existing because of that probability only. But he didn’t know whether he could hold on to that chance all his life. Moving on seemed to be out of his reach. Every time he made his mind up to move forward, something inside him twitched and yelped in pain. And the pain was unbearable. So, Shivaay had given upon moving on from Anika way back itself. There was this thin line separating his existence from the end. The only factor that stopped him from crossing the line was love. The love of his family, his Anika and his own self. His Anika would never want him to go that way; nor would he take such a step himself. But keeping these toxic thoughts away from his mind was a gruesome task.
Sighing, he looked at his watch. He had been there for more than an hour and now he had to head back to the Oberoi mansion. Straightening himself, he ignited the engine and slowly the car made its way out of the forlorn road. The speed of the car shoot up gradually while Shivaay tried to gather himself. The journey was short and in no time Shivaay entered the mansion. He shot a glance towards the clock and saw that only four hours were left for sunrise. He remembered that he had to eat dinner. But with only a few hours left for the dawn of the next day, there was no point in eating. So, just like the previous day and the day before, he skipped his dinner.
Shivaay loosened the tie around his neck and was about to go to his room when he caught the sight of a silhouette at the dining table. Shivaay shook his head. He had told several times to everyone not to wait for him for dinner or for any other reason. But still, she would never listen. He walked towards the dining area and looked down to see her dozing off. She was the last to join the family but had mingled with everyone quite easily.
His youngest sister in law.
Bhavya Rudra Singh Oberoi.
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