Thanks alot for ur comments .Here is the next and the last part.Hope u enjoy……
I took nearly an hour to get ready.I wanted to look simple yet beautifulWith butterflies in my stomach I went to meet him at the restaurant he had suggested.
It was lovely place, but I was too nervous to really take it all in. We’d had dinner before but never alone and this restaurant seemed full of couples having a special dinner together, which only added to the tightness in my stomach. We had always been comfortable with each other, able to chat easily and banter with one another, but this was different.
I was out of my comfort zone here and knew it. I was nervous, uncharacteristically nervous with him. The blush on my face was the visual give away, but my quietness was even more so, it actually spoke volumes. He tried to back off by talking of work. I was relieved, I thought. I didn’t know what I wanted or even what I was feeling, and when he touched my hand, so sweetly, so tenderly, my heart could have jumped out of my body and into his. My eyes sought his and I saw in them the depth of his feelings. I knew that because my eyes held the same feelings. I never set out to fall in love, much less to a engagedman; this was hardly what I needed in my life.
His hand upon mine was sending a fire through me, the kind of fire that you want to burn for a long while before quenching it. His thumb gently caressing my hand, soft and smooth, slow and deliberate. My head was spinning, my insides were stirring, not typical feelings for me. My past had not been the kind that included many men and certainly not the wanting I was feeling just then. This was new, I was off balance and to recover that balance I was going to need some fancy footwork.
“Sanskaar, ummm, I am not sure what to say here. Perhaps we should just let this pass and keep our friendship, it means a great deal to me you know.” I was saying this as I tried to remove my hand from under his, except my hand didn’t move at all.
“Ragini, I know I have shocked you. I’m sorry, well actually I’m not sorry. I’ve wanted to tell you for quite some time now. I thought you had feelings for me too.” He was so sure with his words, while I bumbled mine.
“I do, of course I have feelings for you. You are a lovely man. Very sweet and kind and have given me the warmest welcome and friendship I could have asked for, but Sanskaar, your engaged!” There I had said it, finally able to take a breath now and listen to him, to find out just what this was about.
“Yes” he said quietly. “I am. I want you to know she is leaving. To be honest I am not upset about the breakup.We never had any kind of feeling for each other.Yesterday before telling u my feelings i have cleared everything But even if we were not divorcing it wouldn’t change my feelings for you. You, Ragini, my Ragini’, have me thinking as I’ve never thought before.” His honesty was stunning. I knew he would never lie to me, that was something I just never had to worry about, for he is an honorable man.
“Sanskaar I don’t know what to say. I am not sure what your are thinking or what I am thinking either!” I exclaimed, nervous but still needing to know the answer.
“I don’t know Ragini, I just know I want to know you completely. To share myself with you and for you to share yourself with me, to be a part of your life always.” What I saw was raw emotion.
He held nothing back from me. I listened to everything he had to say. He told me about his beliefs, his wishes and desires, what his life had been like and what it was like now. I sat in stunned disbelief and silence. Here was this man, totally unavailable to me, and yet with each word he spoke I fell more deeply in love with him. My feelings took me by surprise, and no little surprise either; my feelings were so real l. He had entered my heart and body that very moment.
When the waiter came with our order, there was a natural pause in our conversation, but not in our gaze. No, we couldn’t take our eyes off one another, nor did we want to. As we settled in to enjoy our meal, we chatted easily, I was thinking, this is the Sanskaar I knew, I must have been imagining things before, we are just friends is all. Then I glanced up to him, he was leaning into me. Oh my insides turned to mush, what was happening? Before I could say a word, I felt his lips lightly touch mine, so tenderly.
There was not a thought in my head now, only my reaction to his kiss, a tender, sweet kiss. My hand fell to his on my leg and he turned his over to hold my hand, fingers intertwined, gripping each other tightly. As we broke our kiss a soft small moan escaped me, and his hand reached to cup my cheek and he spoke.
“Ragini, I love you. I want you. I need you.” Seemingly making it simple to say.
My mouth opened to respond but no words came out. I was speechless. Actually I wanted to say, yes, I love you too, I want you too, and I need you too. But I couldn’t. It would have been the truth but I couldn’t say it. Not with words anyway. My lips touched his; I let my kiss speak for me.
Sanskaar placed his hand upon my cheek and softly caressed me as our kiss broke.We both smied at each other
Thanks for ur cooperation.Do read my Raglak ff ‘entangled’