Raglak OS: Tere Bina Guzaara, Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

Hey guys………Bela here. I have a two day off and an absurd idea popped up in my mind. TMRP and DYBKH still Work in progress.

This is just a random collection of the thoughts Ragini has about her one sided love and Lakshya.

So here is my first OS on Raglak……………….

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Tu safar mera
Hai tu hi meri manzil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil

Tu mera Khuda
Tu hi duaa mein shaamil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil

I was no one. No one. I was just another of those typical behenjis who wore suits and nodded her head at every thing. I was just Ragini. Before I saw you. The day I saw you gor the first time, was the day I was going to become something else. Your fiancée. Your soon to be wife, life partner, companion. The daughter in law of your house. I was finally going to become SOMEONE. And since it was you who was going to give me my new identity, you are God to me. I pray for you every day. I pray to God to give you success and happiness. Keep you safe, prosperous and Happy. If needed, take my share of happiness and joy but keep YOU happy. Who knew, this prayer would become true in the cruelest way possible.

Mujhe aazmaati hai teri kami
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi
Junoon hai mera
Banoon main tere qaabil
Tere bina guzaara
Ae Dil Hai Mushkil

Suddenly, there was chaos in my otherwise peaceful life. The peace I had lived in vanished. My heart was beating faster, my mind was working faster, my eyes were searching for someone, my finger with your ring was the most beautiful body part. The lips which were used only to say, “Ji Dadima” were now smiling. Smiling at the thought of you. Pouting at the thought of our separation. And the hard work began. To be worthy of being called your wife, to be worthy of you. And then………….it broke.

Yeh rooh bhi meri
Yeh jism bhi mera
Utna mera nahi
Jitna hua tera

Tune diya hai jo
Woh dard hi sahi
Tujhse mila hai toh
Inaam hai mera

You fell in love with Swara. Why? Am I not beautiful enough? But Dadi says that I am the most beautiful princess in this world. And she never lies. I know I may not be the modern girl who wears western clothes and speaks Hinglish but I thought that you wanted a wife like me. That is why you agreed for our marriage, right? Maybe you got distracted. Swara is so bubbly and vivacious, you must have fallen for her charms. Nothing that a few days of separation can’t break. I am your wife. I. I have accepted you as my companion for life. My mind, body and soul are all yours. I am in pain because of you but I will smile and take it. Because that is the only thing you have given to me yourself. I picked up your wristband without your permission, the ring was paid for by your father. The only thing you have given to me are memories and pain. And they are prizes for me.

Mera aasmaan dhoondhe teri zameen
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi

Zameen pe na sahi
Toh aasmaan mein aa mil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil

You are marrying her. This is serious. You cannot do this Lakshya. I love you. I LOVE YOU. Truly and madly. See, I have become modern now. I wear Swara’s clothes, I style my hair like her, I wear those bangles and I even smile a lot and speak more. Surely, you would see me now. See Lakshya. I am Ragini. The one who is meant for you. Come back Lakshya. Please. It is so difficult to live like this when I have seen such beautiful dreams of our future together. Come to me. Please.

Maana ki teri maujoodgi se
Ye zindagani mehroom hai
Jeene ka koi dooja tareeka
Na mere dil ko maaloom hai

Tujhko main kitni
Shiddat se chaahun
Chaahe toh rehna tu be-khabar
Mohtaaj manzil ka toh nahi hai
Ye ek tarfa mera safar, safar
Khoobsurat hai manzil se bhi
Meri har kami ko hai tu laazmi

I have died Lakshya. I did SO much for you. I changed myself, I went against my loved ones, tried to kill my sister, became such a witch. And then I thought that you have started loving me. It was a lie. Just like my little pathetic life. All was a lie. You used me and dumped me. How will I live now? I don’t even remember how I was living before you. What shall I do now? I don’t know another way to survive. Everything was all about you.

What I don’t understand is WHY you are unable to understand my deep and undying love for you? Why is it so hard for you to understand? Never mind. It is all over now. I had a destination in my mind but this one sided affair, this has never had a destination. I have understood that now.

The path to the destination I had in mind was painful but beautiful. Beautiful because it gave me hope. Something to look forward to every day. A dream to see every night. And now you are with Kavya and I am alone. Kavita is beautiful, even though she is older than you. But she isn’t a good person. Swara says so. Dear never lies. I have realised it now. Take care. Please.

My love has remained what it had always been. Unreciprocated. One sided. Ek tarfa.

Adhura hoke bhi
Hai ishq mera kaamil
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil

I laugh to myself Lakshya. I have gone mad. My love is unrequited, incomplete. My existence is difficult without you. But still, I have succeeded. Because despite of your actions, you have remained unsuccessful in trying to stop making me love you. Because you may have used me, you may have played with my feelings, you may have slapped my father, you may have insulted me and my love for you but even then……….

I love you Lakshya. I love you.

Ek tarfa pyar ki taakat hi kuch aur hoti hai
Auron ke rishte ki tarah ye do logon mein nahi bant’ti, Sirf mera haq hai ispe

THE END

So how was it? Bad, I know. I have done better. But then, this song is beautiful and in sync with Ragini and her previous situation. I will try to upload both the ffs by 28th. Love you all ????

P.S. For all Tu Ki Jaane Pyaar Mera readers, I am planning an SS on Raghav and his love story…………anyone interested?????