Title: Kyunki Tum hi Ho
I will have to choose….between Ragini and my family….But it was an easy choice. Of course, I choose my family without a second thought.My mother is never a bad lady, she is the most beautiful soul in my life.She has gone through her own share of misery in her life because of my brother and sister.My brother was a coward,who left mom and us blaming mom for his girlfriend Swara’s death and my sister Uttara was more coward than my brother who ended her life for some reason i don’t know. My mother was a straight and strict marwari woman ,yet her heart was soft .My siblings crushed that beautiful heart and I don’t want to bleed it more.And about Ragini…. Yes I loved her… I loved her…. But not enough to choose over my Maheshwari tag , come on… I am Laksh Maheshwari … and girls like Ragini and love make entry and exist in my life with passing day…. If not Ragini…some other Ragini…That’s it….
I heard my favourite twinkling sound…Yes Ragini’s anklet…she came in and covered my eyes with her with her soft hands
“Guess Who??” She whispered.
I removed her hand.She kind off sensed my mood and was nervous
“What happened Lucky?? Why are you serious?? Ragini asked
“ I am going back to Kolkata… “ I said in a stern voice….
“What happened?? Why so sudden?? Is everyone okay at home??”Ragini was concerned. I felt a pinch of guilt inside me….Here I was trying to get rid of her and she was caring about me and my family.
“I am going to join our family business” I turned and put an act of being busy packing my shirts. Without thinking further she also joined me in packing. And this was getting on my nerves. I put my clothes aside and held her by elbow
“ Ragini ….I am going today” I said with a stern voice I could see her moist eyes watering. She was trying hard to gulp don her pain…but I ignored it and “ I am going today and this is the last time we are meeting” and that didn’t go well with her
“What??” She asked. I just turned without answering .She held me back with trembling hand and asked for confirmation
“What are saying Lucky??”
“Who is this Laksh??” I heard Maa asking. At the sight of my mother, I forcefully detached her hand and asked her to leave
“ Ragini… It’s over between us ….So please leave without making a scene in front of my mother”
“Lucky Please..” She requested in shaky Voice…..” Please don’t say like that … Please don’t leave me…. Please don’t end us like this…. Please…. “ She begged . Her eyes were flowing tears… “ If I did some mistake … Please tell me… I will correct it…”
“Laksh…” My mother called out … Is she the girl , Ragini??? Your Present Girlfriend?? “
“Yes “ I whispered.Ragini ran to my mother and caught her hand.
“Maaji … I love Lucky… More than my life …. Please tell him not to leave me” Ragini cried
My mother released her hand and smiled at Ragini “ Look Ragini Beta… Don’t get me wrong…You don’t have to cry hard on breaking this passing relationship… When we are young, we have passing relations which may or may not be of our standards, But when we marry , we have to marry according to our status….honestly speaking you are very far from the status of being a Maheshwari Bahu…You are just a Musician’s Daughter .So think this as a passing relationship and get lost”
Ragini was rather shocked….I could see her blazing in fire ..To end this drama ,I put a little bit of oil into it . “Maa is right Ragini…..You can’t meet the status of being a Maheshwari Bahu.”
Ragini turned to a corpse..What I said to her was a bit too much…. But this was a best way to end it. She stood up and gave me a very hurt look, closed her eyes in Pain and went out, lifeless….
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It’s been Two Years… Since I left Delhi ….Since I left Ragini…..Since I lost my Heart…I was immature then… I didn’t value her then and I am getting punished now.I love her… I loved her then… Just that she was near me …She cared for me …and I took her granted…..I never realised my passionate feelings for her…. Now that she is not there with me… It’s hitting me hard that I was wrong… I tried to find her ….But She left Delhi when her dad passed away… I tried all possible ways to find her but failed….. She just vanished…. I missed her ….and her absence burned me… To calm that burning heat I met many women… But none was able to Help me out of this heat…Even my brother Sanskaar found a new girl and forgot his Swara…He married that girl and is coming back home. I heard that he was happy with that girl…Then why was I not able to forget Ragini???
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My mom was very happy that Sanskaar was coming home..He decided to return as Dadi’s health was deteriorating.That means he still will be hating mom… or may be not…But I now understand, what must have happened between him , Mom and Swara. At Least he was brave enough to stand against her…. For his love … But I was a coward.. So I can’t even blame her.
We all stood in front of the grand Maheshwari door to welcome him and his wife. Even with her bad health, Dadi came in front to welcome him.His car arrived.Now that I understood why Sanskaar left home… I sympathised him and was somewhat excited to see him . Sanskaar got out of the car.Must say … He was handsome…. More than ever. He extended his hand to the person in the car, his wife. She got out of the Car ….Blowing fireworks around Me…She was Ragini..
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I shut myself in my room for hours….I was losing it.. The girl i have been searching past two years , is in front of me… as my brother’s WIFE…. Ragini… My Ragini as wearing the Mangalsutra and Sindoor in Someone else’s honour. I could feel my blood rushing hard through my body. I was crumbling down… I know that she deserved happiness and I deserved punishment for leaving her and insulting her love…. But this Punishment was killing me
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Time Flew….But i was not still ok. Ragini seemed happy with Sanskaar and so was Sanskaar.But I was still struggling to adjust Ragini’s identity as Mrs Sanskaar Maheshwari.Along with me , My Maa also was burdened by Ragini’s presence in our house. Maa acted all sweety sweety to Ragini in front of Sanskaar as he is still hostile to Maa.One day , while Sanskaar was not around tried to threaten Ragini to leave Sanskaar giving the same reason that “ Not fit as Maheshwari Bahu”. But Ragini was not perhaps my old shy Ragini . She counter threatened Mom saying that she would inform Sanskaar that Maa is ill treating her and obviously Sanskaar would trust Maa.. After then Maa maintained safe distance from Ragini, fearing that Sanskaar would leave home ….
At least she threatened Maa… But Me… I was not existing for her… She smiled like angel in
front of Sanskaar, She spoke to all my cousins, She became the favourite of Dadi and Dad… But Never even passed a glance at me . She Ignored Me.. I never existed there…. Anywhere…And this hurt me more
“I WISH I COULD IGNORE U…LIKE U IGNORE ME…. BUT I JUST CAN’T!!!” I screamed in my mind
I wanted her to glare at me. Curse me.. Hate Me… But she made a ghost existence and i could take it anymore… She was going to her room I just came in between and pulled her to a corner and pinned her to the wall
“ What is wrong with you Ragini??Why are not looking at me… Why are you ignoring Me??” I hissed…She struggled to be released , But I pinned her hard
“ See …. Let me get one thing straight…I know that i did wrong by leaving you then…But I had to do it for my Mother….. Tell me one thing… If you dad asked you to leave me you would have done it na??” I reasoned with her… presenting myself in a clean way, not highlighting that I was confused about my feelings then
“ YES” She hissed back… “ I would have left you for dad…. But never would have I insulted your love and never would have allowed my dad to insult “
She was right… Maa insulted our love and I let her do so… But I didn’t want to lose
“Why did you marry my brother?? Do you even love him??” I asked her
“ Yes… I love Him…More than my life..” She said instantly… which hurt me
“ Oh really…. You said that to me… two years ago….Does Sanskaar know about our Past??” I asked her with a smirk, further tightening my grip over her hand as she tried to release…
“ Yes” I heard Sanskaar’s voice from back….and I turned face . Sanskaar came near us released Ragini from me and hid her behind him….He ran his palm across my face …
“ Yes I know about her Past..Ragini told me everything before our marriage” He said sharply… “ So stop testing her and stay away from her…”
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I sat with my bottle of whisky… drowning in its intoxication…. Sometimes cursing myself…. Sometimes my mother…and sometimes my fate … for separating me and Ragini. Suddenly i felt someone’s presence near me… it was Sanskaar, he sat near me and extended his glass for a whisky… Her stole my Ragini… No I won’t let him steal my whisky…. No … No way…
“ I am sorry Laksh..” He said….
And then we started talking…. I never had a chance to have a brotherly talk with Sanskaar. When I came back from my boarding school I learnt that He left home… and when he was back … he was back with Ragini….But today i shared all my sadness with him….my love for Ragini and everything… He also shared about how he hated Maa for Uttara’s suicide.She suicided as maa ruined her love story, like his love story with Swara, who died in an accident while they tried to elope as Maa tried to separate them…..And from that day… I loved my brother Sanskaar too… He was a nice guy and also realised that my mother was not all angel
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Though not fully… But happiness found me…. Ragini was pregnant … I was happy or them and I was sure that i would love their baby more than anyone as they were the people i love the most. Ragini as not completely okay with me but started treating me as human…. And I still love her… Inhumanly……But our this happiness was also short lived….The business fight between Maheshwaris and rival Goenkas took a fatal turn into personal grounds … and their Sanskaar, who joined our business was laid as martyr… Yes I lost my brother … My friend… My strength… When Mr. Goenka tried to shoot Dad in a Spat… Sanskaar came in between,shielding Dad… After Sanskaar’s death…Ragini, who lost her support in Maheshwari house left home , fearing my mother…..
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It’s been five Years… And Veer is 4 years old…. Half Sanskaar and Half Ragini and Full naughty… Not so long … But i found out Ragini’s whereabouts… But decided not to interfere in her life … nor allowed any Maheshwaris… I just supported her financially ,claiming it to be Sanskaar’s insurance scheme…..I will just look her from back …..and will never interfere in her life But will always love her and be there for her and wait for her………………………………………………………….
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After you left me …. I was dead Lucky…. I meant Sanskaar as Dad’s Music student…He introduced himself as Sanskaar Kapoor an orphan…. I didn’t know how I became from Miss Gadodia to Ragini then to Mrs Sanskaar Maheshwari…But while i fell in love with Sanskaar, I thought that I forgot you . Me and Sanskar shared all our past except his family…. Later he informed me about his family and I was shocked when i saw you as his brother…. The eventually realised that you were still in my heart ,even if you broke it…. But i promised myself to be faithful to Sanskaar as I loved him and tried my best by ignoring you….Of course I loved Sanskaar…
I left Maheshwari house…as I can’t live there without Sanskaar.And I know that my live is smooth because you are there behind me helping me and Veer….But i will never turn Back…Never find you …. I know you are right behind me…. But I won’t……If i do so… I will want to come to you… This life and Next Seven life is for my Sanskaar…
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