My Arranged love
“Leeladhar, Leeladhar” someone was calling my name which sounded like a whisper. Thanks to my eyes that decided to lift my eyelids before my lips could let out a curse, and saw that dada ji was calling me. Of course who else would call me leeladhar. If I had one death wish that would be to change my name.
“Leeladhar I want to talk” dada ji`s voice broke my trance
“I want to see you married before I close my eyes and also I think it’s a good age for you to get married. i have found a girl for you; she is daughter of my friend in village. She is beautiful, kindhearted………” dadaji was talking but I zoned out. Marriage?now and if that wasn’t bad enough arrange-marriage? There is no way I am going to do that,I was determined. I couldn’t say that to dadaji so I went to seek help of the person I hated the most; my dad.
“Dad I want to talk to you. I don’t want to get married and I want you to explain to dadaji” I said coming straight to the point he looked at me for a second and then back to newspaper.
“Ok it`s up to you, it`s your life but just know that after this you won`t have any share in my business” he played the same card again. He knew business was my obsession and he won there.
I intentionally went late to my room and went to sleep right after I went it. She wasn’t expecting that on her wedding night for sure I smirked.
I was awaken by bright sunlight when I was someone standing on the right side of closet her back was facing me. She turned at the sound of throat clearing. I saw a girl in red saree she had slender figure. Her dark blue eyes perfectly complimented her fair complexion; her dark brown curly hair fell on her back like a waterstream. She was , indeed, beautiful.
Concentrate LD I reprimanded myself in mind and went straight to the restroom refusing to give her a second look. When I returned she wasn’t not in room. I dressed myself and went to the office. I knew she must have made a breakfast for me but I decided to ignore her. WELCOME TO HELL WIFEY. I smirked. I came back very late but she was awake.
Not wanting to converse, I went straight to restroom. When I came back she was lying in the middle of the bed occupying both the sides.
“I want to sleep”
“I want to talk” she said not moving an inch.
“I want to sleep”
“no” don’t test my patience.
“Ok say what do you want to say” I said finally giving up.
“I noticed you are ignoring me right from the first day may I know the reason”
“you may” I smirked leaning myself over her body and bringing my face closer to her so that there is only an inch of distance between us. She looked at me nervously. “I wonder how come you noticed it so earlier. I have ignoring you since I heard of marrying you and the reason is simple I didn’t want to marry you but you in your whim of becoming the wife of SUBMIN CORPORATION`S CEO didn’t care so why now? Now move before I throw you out of the room” I said almost shouting the last part, she looked shocked her eyes rimmed with tears making the deep blue color of her eyes to shine. Ouch I felt something inside my heart and I stoop up. She got up from bed and stood facing me.
“I am not crying because you don’t like me I am crying because you questioned my pride and dignity. MR CEO I am not a gold digger I had several options to come in your city and earn money but I chose to stay in my village because for me money is not a parameter to judge someone`s character.” I felt a painful sensation in my chest it felt like someone just slapped me. Her eyes were…….. electric. I couldn’t stare I couldn`t. “ and yes I didn’t notice your hatred before because I wasn’t in country for sometime before just came 10 days before marriage” she turned and left taking my sleep as well. We both were not ready for this marriage but she accepted it and didn’t complain and here I was punishing her for something she had never committed. Wait! LD did you fall for her? no no its just guilt just guilt I corrected myself.its just guilt. I don’t know when sleep decided to consume me but a strong urge to pee forced me to get out of bed. BANG! I felt someone`s body collapsing with mine as soon as i came out of restroom and the next minute I was rolling on the floor with a delicate body caged in my arms next minute we stopped I was supporting myself with my arms while she lay under me her eyes looking at me. We had an eye lock it felt like staring into sky……she was beautiful.
My trance was broken when she gently pushed me away leaving the room. I went down after getting ready and somehow decided to stop for breakfast a major portion of my body was telling me that this is because I am hungry but deep down inside I wanted to just …….may be….. eat breakfast she made. But my lips let out a sigh when I saw maa serving me breakfast. Ofcourse why would she make breakfast for someone who called her a gold digger. Guilt took over me. I couldn’t work the whole day may be if I talk to her and settle this I will be fine. Yes maybe we can stay as friends yes its right. I went home to find her sleeping. The room was dark only her face glowed in moon light making her way through window she looked so innocent. I just went near the bed and sat at floor her face being inches away from me. the next second I crashed my lips onto hers thousands of spark went off. She opened her eyes instantly. She didn’t kiss me back but didn’t push me I just kept forcing my lips onto hers asking for entrance when she finally gave in. it was slow and passionate we separated to gasp some air. I saw her blushing slightly but her eyes held thousands of questions. I just came back into my senses.
I left the room without even looking at her. Bad move!. WHAT JUST HAPPENED I KISSED HER I KISSED RADHA WHY?? My mind was asking a million questions. Ok ok it was just a spur of moment nothing big. I comforted myself but seemed like my heart wasn’t in the same team. I decided not to think anymore and went to sleep. She completely ignored me the next day like nothing happened though this is exactly what I wanted but still I felt sad I felt…… I felt something I couldn’t name. the next few days were the most painful days I tried to drown myself in work but it didn’t help. You are going to hate me for saying that it was worse than battling on border. Yes it was worse because I was battling with myself I couldn’t run away I couldn’t sleep I just wanted this to end. This isn’t love this is just lust yes I am obsessed with her maybe it`s just superficial. Yes it`s just lust.
“Sir we are home” driver`s voice brought me out of trance. I went straight to my room. I saw someone standing in the balcony when I entered. It was radha her back was facing me. her dark brown hair covered her back I went towards her when she turned to look at me her eyes shooting darts at me. she went inside when I tug her and pinned her to wall. She was smelling like Rosses I pecked her lips while looking in her eyes I kissed her jaw all the way down to her neck and collar bone
“ Stop LD” I didn’t care and reached for her shirt when she tried to push me but I pinned her to the floor and started unbuttoning her shirt. She fought back
“ stop LD please don’t . please don’t make me fall into my eyes” tears flowed down her cheeks I looked into her eyes and saw fear, pleading and sorrow. I felt like a bullet went through me my grip on her hands loosened. She pushed me and ran out of the room. She left…….. that’s what I wanted. Right? But no this isn’t that simple she left me to drown in the ocean of guilt her eyes haunted me every night. My heart was dying a thousand deaths. I wanted her back. Only once just for once I wanted her to complain but to talk to me. I wanted her back I knew I couldn’t be forgiven but trust me the moment she left she took my everything . I thought it was guilt but it was love yes radha I fell in love with you the very moment I saw you “I WISH I COULD IGNORE U…LIKE U IGNORE ME…. BUT I JUST CAN’T!!! ”.
I want you back. I don’t care how selfish I sound at this moment but I just cannot forget about you. I tried to deny my feelings thus naming them as lust and did a terrible mistake. My culpability and delinquency has robbed be of the most precious gem I have ever had. Please punish me however you want to but just don’t leave me.
“I want to meet radha “ I demanded to the person that opened the door. I had already called her home she wasn’t there. She only had few friends and I knew where to find her.
“ she doesn’t want to talk to you”
“I know but please let me talk to her once I promise I will make everything right” I pleaded
“And how would you Mr. Leeladhar or as you like to call it Mr LD” before Anjali could answer a familiar voice reached my ear. I looked up for the source of the sound and saw radha standing behind Anjali.
“Radha please listen to me”
“There is nothing to talk now LD and why are you here now I did exactly what you wanted. You married me for business and you got it. It doesn’t matter now where I go.” She was right but still why did it hurt so much to hear from her.
“Radha please let me explain and then decide”
“Excuse me guys I have some where to go” Anjali said leaving both of us alone and I mumbled her a thank you.
“Radha please I know that I have wronged you and let you down but it is also true that the remorse ,the guilt is killing me inside” I paused for a second to look at her. she had stone expressions in her eyes. My heart ate me inside.
“It is true radha that this is the moment I have always longed for but when it is finally happening I can`t keep myself in control. The truth is that I fell in love with you the very first time I saw you. Your eyes caged me the moment I had a glimpse of them but I was denying my feelings all this time. I was battling with myself. In all this chaos I committed that horrible sin. I am sorry; I am sorry for everything that I have done to you I am sorry for letting you down but please please don`t leave me. I can`t get myself to live without you. Shout at me beat me punish me if you want to but please don’t leave me. I swear I won`t do it again.” I didn`t realized that when did a drop of water decide to escape my eyes but I didn’t care I was just standing there looking into her eyes waiting for her to speak when she finally moved her lips
“LD……………………” “let`s go baba move “ I looked down to see 4 year old raila hugging my leg.
“Baba mama is ready let`s go”
“Baby baba is writing something you go I will come in 5 minutes” I said rubbing her head.
“No no no just come”
“no chance Mr. LD she is as stubborn as her father she won`t move an inch until you say yes” i looked up to see radha standing in doorway smiling at little raila
“Ok then I guess mommy radha and little radha both are ready so who am I to object, let`s go your majesty” I heard radha giggle as I picked raila in my arms and kissed her cheek. I guess I will have to complete my story later. But LD do complete it before your anniversary otherwise Radha will eat you up that too alive.