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Chapter 14
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~REALIZATION~
Seeing sanskar not telling anything, sharmishta gets scared as tears starts to flow from her eyes. Uttara runs to the car to get water for him. she stopped on her way to the car hearing her mother, “sanskar!” she turned and saw sanskar no more holding his head or closing his eyes. He had his eyes open, she sighed in relief and went to her bhai. He was sweating, his eyes were moist. “what happened beta?” at the concerned voice of sharmishta, he just turned. It seemed as if he was lost in some thoughts! “aunty! You people go, I will come back after some time!” his voice managed to come out of his throat, but he said it looking everywhere but not at his shomi aunty! He continued, “I want to be alone!” “but bhaiya…” uttara had to stop herself seeing sanskar turning his back to them as he started to walk aimlessly… sharmishta watched him keenly as he started going. “maa!” she turned to her daughter who was very confused, “shall we follow him! he has not gone too far!” sharmishta looked at sanskar walking lifelessly with tears flowing from his eyes. She frowned as she could not understand what was happening with him. “maa?” she answered without turning to uttara still looking at sanskar, “he wants to be alone!” she looked at him till he disappeared from their sight. She stood there for sometime thinking what happened to sanskar until uttara’s phone rang breaking her thoughts. Uttara answered the call, after speaking to someone, she cuts the call. “maa! We have to leave hospital NOW! Doctor only called me!” shomi gets teary eyed hearing uttara, swara needs her! But she was still clueless about what happened to sanskar, he said nothing, but he was crying, his eyes looked as if he was feeling very empty, a very alone lost soul with a lots of pain! She closed her eyes crying before getting inside the car. The driver started it, her heart still beating very fast feeling guilty for not being with sanskar!…
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KOLKATA
MAHESHWARI MANSION..
Ragini sobbed more on sujata’s lap. She felt very light after telling the truth to her sujata aunty. But still, she was feeling very guilty and scared… sujata caressed her hair teary eyed, after knowing that swara got the bullet for sanskar! ragini wiped her tears and got up from sujata’s lap. “now what are you going to do?” sujata asked. “I don’t know…but I don’t want to do what Bhavendhar uncle said!” she couldn’t control her tears as she started crying again. Sujata immediately hugged her crying caressing her hairs. She broke the hug and they both remained silent for some time not knowing what to even talk when finally sujata asked, “how is swara?”…
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The noon sun was very bright making almost everyone sweat on that busy road. Noises hear and there.. but he was not paying heed to anything, his mind and heart already drowned with confusion. It was raining till yesterday and now, it was sunny. Even his life seems very unpredictable, everyday something happens and all the things are related with his devil! his tears unnoticed by everyone who were already busy, finally managing to come to a deserted road, as he sat on a bench there. He closed his face with his palms weeping. What can he just do? What was he supposed to do?
“I don’t care if he is a police! He is my son sanskar!”
It of course gave him immense happiness when his lovable shomi aunty said that, but those words!
“I don’t care if you are a police!”
He had heard it…somewhere! As his mind started to concentrate on that few words, his head spinning like anything, his eyes closed but still he could see few flashes. He can feel someone shaking him and that would obviously be his shomi aunty and uttara! And when finally those flashes started becoming clear, his eyes wide opened as his shomi aunty and uttara were staring him, he gulped as he started remembering…
“You should not call me devil! I don’t care if you are a police!”
“sanskar! come, we will dance!”
“you look so cute!”
Tears filled his eyes as he slowly remembered everything and then when his shomi aunty asked him what happened, his mind still concentrating on the holi as he replied her absent mind. He started going from there, his soul getting filled with an unknown happiness remembering what happened that day.
“no! no! no! don’t go anywhere! Stay with me!”
His legs failing to move as he walked heavily and slowly remembering…THE KISS! His vision getting blur with tears as his hands reached his lips as if feeling her kiss
“I love you!”
And then, his legs completely became numb as he failed to walk finally remembering HIS words, HIS INAUDIBLE WHISPER..
“I LOVE YOU TOO!”
Sanskar took his palms from the face that was sweating, his eyes red with tears as a choking voice escaped his lips, “I LOVE SWARA?” his eyes still blinking remembering the holi celebration again and again!
His mind going back to that yesterday morning when she hugged him in the car, she smiling against his lips before kissing him gently with all her love to which he didn’t reciprocated! But she was smiling, his mind suddenly going back to yesterday night when swara got the bullet for him! when he was carrying her and was walking on the road extremely scared and was mad on her…
“do you remember what happened this morning?”
So…
She remembered it! She knew what happened during holi! She knew that she kissed him!
His soul getting shattered remembering her closing her eyes in his embrace…
“I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU…even after I go from this world!”
He closed his tightly, his face becoming red with fury remembering her words, she just can’t speak like that! She can’t leave him! his tears that seemed endless will never be able to express his pain…anger at her words, still guilty for hurting her.. his soul gets filled with pain as his cries became louder echoing in that silent road.. his tightly closed fist almost tearing his bandage, his sobs becoming louder and louder, his pain suffocating him..
“everyone has to die someday! And that someday came for me”
He touched his hair from back pulling it frustrated as he closed his eyes before whispering, “no swara! That day didn’t come for you!…” his throat choking with his endless tears as he stammered, “you are going to be fine!”… his eyes falling on the holy thread on his hand.
“sanskar! please wear it for me!”
He smiled, she can always convince him and today she was not with him, she was in the hospital, lying on a bed very silently with her pale face, he pressed his lips breaking down as few more tears flowed from his eyes!
“sanskar! my ice cream!”
“sanskar! wake up!”
His lips curved remembering her overwhelming and cute antics..
“if at all I ever punish you, it will be me who will be suffering! It will be a punishment to me!”
His feeling of suffocation increases with his tears and sweat feeling like a lifeless soul! He remembered his mother’s words…
“you feel extreme happiness when she is with you. And when she is not with you….”
“you are not your own self sanskar!”
“is this only friendship?”
“why do you want her to come back?”
“BECAUSE I LOVE HER!” he finally accepted shouting on the top of his lungs that echoed in that deserted road! He laughed with his painful tears before hugging the holy thread on his wrist against his lips, but his smile faded away realizing something…
Will she ever forgive him for all the pain he gave to her, or it just had been….too late?..
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Precap: ~Don’t break your promise!~
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A/N- god! i am very happy writing this chapter, hope it had not disappointed you and sorry if it did, because this is the most important part of this story! so..sorry..
Thank you all. Thanks to all the silent readers too!
Love you all…