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“Today Yuvraj has a big match; I wanted him to perform well and wanted to wish him personally. So I left for his camp, early in the morning. I would be joining the college only for afternoon session.
And then I saw him, after two weeks, after long fourteen day, he looked fit and fine. He was smiling, what more do I need, he is happy. All my miseries left when I saw him smiling. My heart is very light now. See the effect this man has on me, his one smile is enough to make me calm, happy. Then he saw me and his smile widened seeing me. Yes, it did widened. My mind is dancing, I am super happy.”
Yuvraj looked at Suhani emotionally; he was finding it hard to take this much on him. His guilt feeling was increasing, why didn’t he notice anything before?? He thanked Sharad a thousand times.
“He came to me and I hugged him, I couldn’t hold it any longer, I am seeing him after long.
Then I wished him, but I didn’t want to go from there, but then I don’t want to watch the match.
I was in dilemma when he asked me if I am staying or not. I said no, even though half of my mind wanted to stay.
And you know what?? He appeared sad, he wanted me to stay. Yippee, I got my answer, he wanted me to stay. So I should leave. I bid him bye and left from there ASAP.”
Yuv: (believed) what?? You left from there because you knew that I wanted you to stay??
“You must be wondering why I did so?”
Yuv: I don’t know about your diary, but I am, I need to know why you did so.
“He was feeling low, that was why he wanted me to stay.”
Yuv: You are right; I wanted you to be there, to encourage me,
“But if I stay there, then he would have lost his confidence again. I mean he would be dependent on me. I wanted to be his strength, but I never want him to be weak. If I was there, he would have played well, because he knew that I won’t let his confidence go down. But he should himself boost his confidence, not me. So if I am not there, he would do it all by himself and by the end of game, he would proud of himself and not me. I never want to him to depend on me. So I left from there.”
Yuvraj looked at her gratefully.
“Then I went to college and things went nice there, of course it would be, because I am with my first love.”
Yuv: First love?? Who is that?
“My Chemistry. You always take me to some other world.”
“I came home, all were excited for his arrival. Dadi again taunted me. I kept mum, but I saw four angry glares on her. But true to the promise, they didn’t oppose her. But I don’t want them angry, God, why, why are you teting me again? Please, calm them. I went to freshen up, before that I kept my camera on, on the table.”
Yuv: Cam, why??
“I came after freshening and again felt the same suffocation and peace. I hugged him tighter. Then he lifted me and twirled me. Then made me stand and told me that he broke a new record. I was super happy that I jumped on him. I didn’t even think of my weight.”
“Then he told me in detail about that day’s performance, and I was again lost in his eyes. Then my bils and sils came in. They jumped on him and congratulated him, He was elated by this, by getting back their support. I moved back, took my cam and recorded the scene. I had happy tears seeing them all so happy. Please God, let this moment freeze.
Saurab Bhaiya called me, and I too joined them. We six had an amazing time together. Then everything went like usual. He slept earlier than usual, and now I am with you.
I watched that video for at least five times now. That is why I kept it on, it recorded everything, his happy moments. I know he won’t stay with me for long, so I need his memories with me forever. That’s why I am recording all these.”
He looked at her painfully.
Yuv: How can you love me to this extend Suhani, that you never ever give a hint on it, your feelings…
“Ok, I too am sleepy, see you tomorrow.
I now you must be thinking that why am I back now, right? Well, I did one more thing and wanted to share with you.
I kept kept my head on his chest listening to his heartbeat and was about to sleep. I was feeling so peaceful listening to his cam heartbeats, the best lullaby ever!! I want to sleep like this always, by listening to his heartbeats, But then the realization hits me that he won’t be with me always. So I recorded his heartbeat on my phone. Now it would be with me always. I am soooooooooo happy and peaceful, see you, good night.”
Yuvraj was totally numb!!