I know you never knew who I was but still for the last five years you are the one for me..no one dared coming in my coherent or incoherent thoughts but you.
You didn’t know but silently I was trying to know you; your hobbies, your favorites are on my lips. Even I tried meeting you in my dreams… quite a lot of times you were just so vivid like you were real and it wasn’t a dream but why there didn’t come a dream where I was with you..
Yes, if I start thinking correctly there wasn’t a dream where I could say you were the one with me… actually, I never dreamed any dream like that,I was always afraid if we had a future together but still your little updates kept me rejoiced all these years.
I still remember those slightly yellowish brown eyes which I have seen the first day in that strange city who became a constant to my heart and whom I tried searching as I lived through that lane.
The day before Yesterday I don’t know how but suddenly I wanted to know your b’day and yesterday morning I was set out to know it and eventually one of your friends paved the way and I got to know.
I always tried seeing life in songs,words and dates so as i found out this date I was searching the familiarity in this date but I couldn’t remember anything, perhaps my heart already made this date something unique for a lifetime.
You know what, sometimes my feelings for you scare me… I don’t know would I ever be able to talk with you spare a meeting and this thought isn’t easy to live with.
Why you happened to be that One, my heart feels calm suddenly if It sees you, you were the teenage crush of mine then why you have become a constant to my life.
I agree after You, I didn’t meet many guys but it is not totally right, I met guys but I couldn’t find someone as heart melting as you for me…
Do you know quite a lot of times I try to think a possibility of us meeting someday but then I shiver with the thought, “what if you couldn’t be what I unknowingly formed an image of, what if the person who was in my heart was the virtual image of the object my heart formed and the real one was someone I could never live with..”
But then who said we get our life partners how we think or how we wish, I try calming my heart saying I shall compromise with a few things cause somewhere I feel you are one nice person by heart, someone as private as me and as lonely as me.
Oh sorry, I never thought would you ever be willing to live this life with me… cause anyways it was never you who used to stare but me for whom a single glimpse of you was enough for the day.
Waiting for us to meet someday if possible
Your secret lover.
sometimes you want your fingers to write/type whatever they want to write/type .it was one of those paralysed moments this came out and i thought to share.
i hope it could rejoice your secret letters or confessions to that someone.
with love Morusya.