Loving again – part 14(twinj ff)

LOVING AGAIN – PART 13

A dream of her castle burning away and she couldn’t do anything to save it. She was trying so hard but the fire was taking everything in its embrace… when she thought she was going to faint there came a face with features she was familiar with and taking her hand in his he made a dash towards a room with white curtains swinging freely with light air.

“why didn’t you come to save our castle?” she complained to him.

“because it needed to burn to enter a new one.” and he turned.

She felt horror seeing his face, it was her deceased husband and not someone her heart had anticipated in the dream.

She woke up suddenly to cover loads of her shame, to just turn away from him and she got to know she had slept trying to feed her daughter.

Adjusting her clothes she straightened herself and glanced on the wall clock.

“ a little past 4: 20”. it answered.

In these months she had dreamed him a few times but most of the times those were a mixture of their happy moments from past but this time she felt guilt facing him in her dream.

Her upper half was wet with the sweat and heartbeat erratic, her life had still not gotten mercy on her.

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“i am so sorry Neha, I know it is my fault,” he whispered patting her back soothingly but it didn’t help to decrease her tears.

“you know what … I was trying so, so hhhh…… the hiccups didn’t let her complete the sentence.

“it is okay, don’t talk.” he pulled her more to him in a genuine attempt to give her support.

“why did you let me wait for no reasons..if we were married by last rains …then, then, then,” hiccups were trying to save her.

“Neha, Neha…calm down. Everything will be alright.” he tried to calm her down.

“how?” she asked suddenly and waited for his answer.

A horrible silence followed after this question and it led him to think there wasn’t any possible way to solve this situation, he could never compensate for the pain and grief and most importantly the loss she was going through

“i don’t know.” after a while, he murmured and started caressing her back which had stopped due to the gravity of her query.

“You will be happy with the right person,” he said after some time.

“and why you are not the right person for me?” she asked and her tears again flew dampening his blue shirt.

“i wanted to talk about so many things with you…” she asked for his permission.

One more time he felt how big a failure he was to never give her the attention she needed like all females out there.

This was the first time they were this close be it physically, emotionally or verbally in their month long courtship but alas! the situation… if people thought they were the brutally selected victim of destiny, Neha was no less.

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“Ma, I think it is not wise to break the engagement of Kunj and Neha.” playing around for a while she finally mustered up the courage to talk about it.

The lady was busy checking the monthly expenses and money she needed to fetch from the bank.

This question wasn’t something she was expecting at this time and after all, that has been talked and discussed already.

“Twinkle, why don’t you believe what I am doing is for everything’s best,” Uma answered without looking up.

“But what about Neha, Bebe?” she asked taking a seat beside her mother in law. “ it won’t be hard for me to live this life, I have a daughter to look for and stand for but Neha, she was engaged to him, she waited for him… and she loves him Bebe.” the last phrase was highlighted with a pressure.

“and you and I and I think now even Neha knows what I am doing is the right thing.” collecting all the papers in a pile Uma looked up and replied her.

“babe, I don’t want her to sacrifice her love for me… I won’t even be able to give him the place… and her voice trembled on the mention.

“i know that Twinkle but you would be able to understand it a few years from now on that what I did was right.” she tried making her stubborn daughter in law understand.

“and about Neha, don’t think too much, I know she came here to lessen pressures from her mind..and that’s healthy. I am about to talk with her personally when Kunj comes, she is a mature girl and she won’t disappoint me.” Uma said with hopes in her voice.

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“i never asked you to come to this place…” seeing the beautifully lit rooftop cafe.

“I thought we should talk where no one was able to disturb us” he tried to lighten the mood which had soured a few times after her breakdown.

“so Mr. Kunj Sarna knows how to make his ex-fiance smile…” and she smiled broadly revealing those beautiful dimples.

“ is it working?” he asked as they took the chairs.

The weather was not too cold for sitting in the open sky for the late march evenings. but it seemed some ocean winds were making their way to the city for a heavy downpour.

“Yeah, it is working,” she replied and after a deep breath started.

“i apologize but I just couldn’t control myself… she was embarrassed but she couldn’t help refusing his offer to go somewhere private to spend a little time.

“i won’t able to feel forgiven if you refuse.”

Though she could have made some excuse she couldn’t stop herself for the polite offer.

“Neha, let’s just stop this series of apologies…please.” he requested scrunching his nose.

“what you prefer? Indian or ….”

“should we go with Pizza and a blue lagoon…I mean I always to do it with you,” she asked hesitatingly.

“okay.” he agreed and gestured the waiter.

He was clueless where this outing was going to lead them but at that moment he felt he needed to be with her for the time being.

Thinking about Tolstoy’s definition of “what’s important at a time is the one right in front of you.” he gave themselves the time he came with.

“maine nibhaya hai, kar ke dikhaya hai

Le teri baari ek bari tu bhi pyar nibha… yaara.”

Hotel orchestra and the girl sitting in the onion color one piece tuned the song and here this somewhat awkward couple tried their best not to get affected by the song.

Jaan nisaar hai…

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Hello everyone, so as promised here is the update. I hope you guys like the progress…also what are your views about Dreams and do you believe Dreams try to tell you something?

 next part is going to be a crucial one, and I can’t tell when it is coming but I ‘ll try coming with it by next Sunday hopefully.

With love Morusya.