I know everybody will think why she is writing os on father; becoz today is not father’s day. I felt like writing, if time does, read this os…..
(sorry for typos..)
shekar and sharmitha are parents of swara and they belong to middle class family. class does not pay any important role, but to understand situation I have chosen this.
swara is studying 12 th standard, she loves her parent so much but later circumstances changes her due to the atmosphere she is living. swara is attending high class grade school were money speaks everything and students too behave like noble blood, treat middle class ppl as junk and bully them.
But swara friends were loving, they knew her family background and never treat her as low. They always support her and treat her best with at most care. but her friends used to spend lil lavishly and they don’t expect swara to do this, never forced her or taunt her. Instead they would advise her spend money in useful way as they know her situation. sometimes swara too would think she is doing wrong but some times her brain would over power her saying it’s the way to show others thata she is to capable for this kind of activities..
swara friends are ragin, laksh and sanskar. they would spend weekend in swara house, but swara would refuse it becoz they might think ill about her. many times quarrel have occurred btwn 4, becz of class but laksh, ragini and sanskar would explain her that class is not everything swara, be happy with what you have and are.
swara finished her schooling, now she was doing her college along with raglak and sanskar.
During college, swara would always ask money to shekar telling she needs to buy notes, blah blah.. shekar being kind father doesn’t wants his daughter to suffer, he gives her the money she is need of. But swara was lying all while, she would spend the money like water not knowing her family situation. some times shomi would explain her family situation and ask her to be in control.swara was adamant never listened to her talks. shekar would always support swara hiding his pain.
one day swara informed shekar that she is need of RS. 5000 since her college has planned for IV – industrial visit come tour to kerala. shekar was facing bad time in business too, but he was in situation where he cannot neglect his daughter wish.
shekar – ok beta will give u money, when are you leaving???
swara – this weekend papa.
shomi – was listenng to this and at night she spoke to swara about her family situation, as usual swara was not ready to accept her mom talks and ignored her saying, papa told me would give me money.
mean while shekar was suffering from disease which was unknown to swara.
swara went for her IV and returned back, saw her papa who was lying on the bed pale.
swara – papa what happen to you??
shekar – nothing beta, lil fever.
swara – papa please take care of yourself.
shomi – ha we knew that, you go take rest.
swara – ma y r u talking like this??
shomi – nothing.
shekar – swara u know about ur mom right, she is lil angry on u.
swara – oh okk… she left to her room.
swara never cared about her parents, she was busy in her own life. Her parents too never showed their sadness to her.
One day swara was reading her own dairy which she started writing during her early days…
First page it was written, hi im swara shekar, studying 5th standard. my papa insisted me to write diary, becoz It would be good memory in future. she was flicking through pages, each page had sweet memories of her with shekar and shomi.
During 6th standard, she was crying at midnight that she wanted to go for an elephant ride.
shomi was comforting her saying they would take her tomorrow for an elephant ride. but she was crying continuously . Being a dad he was not able to see her daughter crying, shekar acted as elephant and took her ride inside their house and cute lil swara was sitting on his back holding her papa shoulders firmly. After few rounds she slept on her papa’s back.
swara while reading this at present was laughing how stupid she was.
she flicked to another page,
Today me and papa got beating from mom for lying..
I was studying 7th, I got failed in maths mid term test, I was afraid to tell papa or mom so I signed the report card myself and submitted to mam. stupid me I don’t know how to sign and I was caught by my class teacher. she informed to my papa asked him to meet at evening. I was nervous what papa would tell, will he scold me? will he beat and throw me out of house?? Instead he got all the advice from mam. on the way to house, papa advised me in calm and caring way its bad to do forgery and never do this, If you have failed also we will encourage you to study well, we won’t give you harsh punishment and treat u bad. These words from my papa made me cry and I hugged him and uttered sorry. he patted my back and guided me in correct path.
But somehow my mom came to know about my forgery and she scolded papa for supporting me and spoiling me with his love. she bet me with stick in playful manner but papa got hurt seeing me so he too got beating from mom.
At present : I was thinking, still now how papa used to protect me from mom’s scolding.
Then I flicked through another page,
Best Sunday :
I started reading that, today papa gave me oil bath.. ha I hate oil bath, but papa forced me to have them. I was like oil can, fully immersed in oil and he made me to sit for ½ like that. After the he took me to motor and gave me bath. Me and papa was playing with water and it was coming out with great force through the PVC pipe. He washed my hairs and gave soapy bath. I was enjoying with my papa.
After 2 hours we arrived into house for changing, after changing papa started drying my hair. he was squeezing my head like lemon using towel.. I was shouting papa leave my hairs they are paining. Papa did not pay attention to me. he was eager in drying my hair. Almost I was in edge of falling down due to his force. After drying completely he left my hairs. Then we had our lunch, he fed me and I too did the same. he took bitter guard and hid them inside rice and fed me. I shouted papa its tasting yuck, I was about to spit, papa made puppy face so I had to bear them. After heavy lunch, papa dragged me for sleeping. i was shouting papa please let me go and play. he was adamant to make me sleep. he put me on corner of the bed and he was lying next to me in edge. I was not able to escape from him. when I was trying to move, he will shout at me, “ today someone Is going to get beating from me”. I would panic and again adjust myself to sleep on the bed. After 10 minutes I would crawl like snake and move towards my papa face, open his eyelids to check whether he is awake or not. hahaha he would laugh at me or sometimes scold. I would see the black pupil instead of white… after several trials I would dose off…
Evening he cooked bread toast or Bombay toast for me. he would push mom outside the kitchen and make them specially for me. we had happy family time…
At present : tears were rolling down my cheeks like falls.. How happy I was during childhood and now im not spending my time with parents and they never complained thou.
I closed my diary…. took a deep breath, composing myself strong…
Evening : hi papa and mom….They were shocked by my behavior which was evident in their eyes….I started spending time with them and concentrating on studies too.. now I had few memories of present which made me happy..
But that black day came, which I never expected. my papa died due to heart attack in sleep. Which I wasn’t aware of , that he was a heart patient.. I was broken, cursing myself for not knowing about my family condition. All I did was hate myself for being careless.. my father’s last rights were done and I was pillar for my mom… during that week after swara lost her papa, she was going through this song,
pls do listen to this song and read the lyrics…..
Dheivangal ellam thottre pogum
thandhai anbin munney
thaalaatup paadum annaiyin anbum
thandhai anbin piney
( even god will fail, before dad’s love
mom’s lullaby is second before dad’s love)
Thagapanin kanneerai kandorillai
thandhai soll mikka mandhiram illai
(no one has witnessed dad’s cry
and his word’s can never be denied)
Kandipilum thandipilum kodhidum un mugam
kaichal vandhu padukail thudipadhum un mugam
( when we are doing mistake you become angry on me, because we should never I should never do the same mistake again. when we are sick bed ridden – u become lifeless see our state)
ambaariyaai yetrikondu andru senra oorvalam
thagapanin anaipile kidandhadhum or sugam
( u carry us on ur shoulders proudly saying me as vip and same time we are safe in ur arms only dad)
Valarndhavumey yaavarum theevaai pogirom
Thandhai avanin paasathai engae kaangiren
( when we grow up, we fail see your love dad)
namakenave vandha nanban thandhai
( ur my first friend)
Dheivangal ellam thottre pogum
thandhai anbin munney
thaalaatup paadum annaiyin anbum
thandhai anbin piney
( even god will fail, before dad’s love
mom’s lullaby is second before dad’s love)
swara was crying like small child holding her pillow and remembering memories of her dad. shomi was supporting her to overcome the agony. slowly swara was regaining her sense to reality. she was no more gloomy girl. she was determined to keep her mom loving and happy .. she achieved her dreams which was sown in her heart by her papa. she would talk to her dad daily who was living in her heart. In each step of her life , papa supports her from heart. he takes her to heights by holding her fingers….
he may be invisible to others but he lives inside heart, which evident for swara…. now she was leading happy life and safeguarding her mom.
so everyone needs a spark or sudden push in their life to reach great heights, in swara case her diary was push for her to realize her mistake and her papa who made her strong to achieve her dreams …
so never hurt ur parents/ grandparents bcoz the “pain hidden behind their smile is never known”.…..
thank u for reading this os…