~~?Repentance?~~
Third Person’s pov
Sanskar hadn’t come home since last two days, it’s been his daily routine since past few months. He has been drowned in guilt and nothing is left in his life. He reached a pub nearby and started to drink. He crossed the road in his drowsy state and was about to be hit by a car but someone pulled him aside. He shoved his hands not wanting any help!!..
Tenu itna main pyar karaan
Ik pal vich sau baar karaan
Tu jaave je mainu chhad ke
Maut da intezaar karaan
Sanskar keeps on drinking…
Ke tere liye duniya chod di hai
Tujhpe hi sans aake rukhe
Main tujhko kitna chahta hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
He sleeps on the road and reminses his moments with Swara.
Ke tere liye duniya chod di hai
Tujhpe hi sans aake rukhe
Main tujhko kitna chahta hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
He recalls their happy moments, their fun, their love, their proximity.
Kuch bhi nahi hai ye jahan
Tu hai to hai ismein zindagi
Kuch bhi nahi hai ye jahan
Tu hai toh hai isme zindagi
Ab mujhko jaana hai kahan
Ke tu hi safar hai aakhiri
He lays down thinking about how he slapped her. How he said that he loves Kavita not her!!..
Ke tere bina jeena mumkin nahi
Na dena kabhi mujhko tu faasle
Main tujhko kitna chahati hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
Tere liye duniya chod di hai
Tujhpe hi saans aake rukhe
Main tujhko kitna chahta hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
Ankhon ki hai yeh khwahishein
Ki chehre se teri na hatein
Neendon mein bas tere
khwabon ne li hai karwatein
How selfish he’s to ask her to return to him!!..
Ki teri ore mujhko leke chale
Ye duniya bhar ke sab rastein
Main tujhko kitna chahta hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
Tere liye duniya chod di hai
Tujhpe hi sans aake rukhe
Main tujhko kitna chahta hoon
Ye tu kabhi soch na sake
He reminses Swara marrying Varun and lays down in the road.
Sanskar reached home senseless, some good person had dropped him. This continued for months. Everytime Sanskar came home he was fully drunk!!..
Sparsh would wait for him the entire night to talk with him like those other days!!.. But he never showed up. The little kid would sleep there on the couch waiting for his father. His nanny had tried to talk to Sanskar but he paid no attention. Sparsh was left alone. His guide, his father wasn’t there for the PTA meets, nor in those functions where he participated. Sparsh was not happy! He started feeling dejected. Sparsh was close to Rohan after Sanskar. His nanny saw Sanskar’s condition and had informed him about Sparsh. Sparsh went weak in studies as well as in extracurricular!!.. He needed a guide and Sanskar was busy in his own world.
Rohan was busy with his business since last week and had not paid a visit to Sanskar and Sparsh. When nanny informed about Sparsh and Sanskar’s condition he came home. Sanskar was continuously shouting on Sparsh for disturbing him when he was busy drinking in his study. No doubt Sparsh was hurt but he had denied to cry. He managed to carry a drunk Sanskar from couch to the adjacent bed with the help of his nanny, undo his shoes and cover him up with a comforter. Rohan’s eyes welled as his eyes witnessed the pain both are going through!!..
The entire thing happened in front of him and he could do nothing!!.. In some or the other way he too was responsible for Sparsh and Sanskar. He was the one who encouraged Sanskar. He had time but he didn’t stop neither Kavita nor Sanskar. He was guilty too. But this time he wanted Sanskar to be bold and strong for Sparsh. He had no fault in this!!.. He didn’t even had the capability to understand and judge what’s good and what’s bad!!.. Sparsh shouldn’t be affected!!..
A week passed by and Sanskar was called by Sparsh’s Principal speaking about his state. Sanskar had denied to come and had shouted on Sparsh for his poor response in academics. He had blamed the kid not watching his condition, not analysing his situation!!.. When he shared this to nanny, nanny informed Rohan. Rohan went in place of Sanskar stating that Sanskar is out of station.
Here Sanskar was furious knowing Rohan went in place of him. Rohan too was furious when he came to know about Sanskar’s carelessness. He had thought after Sanskar coming out of the trauma he’ll be okay! But he got to know how wrong he was!!.. When Rohan and Sparsh entered Sanskar’s place. Sanskar should his anger which made him lose the thing that was only his…
“Rohan, how dare you take my place? How dare you go to Sparsh’s school stating I’m out of station?” he spoke coming closer.
“What would have I done then? You were busy with your work” Rohan pointed out his bottles he had been drinking.
“Rohan shut up! Nonsense! You aren’t his father and don’t try to be! He’s my son and I’ll choose the best for him!!.. Sparsh go to your room”
“Yes Sparsh! Go pack your stuffs! We’re leaving!” Rohan spoke, Sanskar was shocked.
“Sparsh is my son he’ll be with me and who are you? Who are you to him that he’ll listen to you?” Sanskar spoke in a insulting tone “A mere employee of mine. You can never afford him a life that I can”
“May be I can’t afford him a life of money but I can afford him a life of peace which he doesn’t get here with a drunkard”
Sanskar pushed him down on the floor. Rohan and Sanskar started fighting. There was no one to stop it and Sparsh was already scared of Sanskar’s behavior, he started crying. Rohan tried taking Rohan but Sanskar had hit him with a vase he found nearby. Rohan started bleeding. It was then Sanskar came in his senses. But it was too late!!..
When the ambulance arrived Rohan was taken and Sparsh was crying there bitterly. After 12 hours Sanskar was taken in custody and Rohan went into coma. It’s just one mistake that led into thousands of sins… It’s just not only Sanskar who’s suffering but also the innocent soul who had done nothing but had been bearing so much!!.. Sparsh was taken to his Nanny’s home after some hours. His nanny loved him. She had no one and Sparsh fulfilled her loneliness!!.. It was hard managing Sparsh who often asked about Sanskar.
When Sanskar came sound, he had analysed the situation and he cried out but certain mistakes aren’t reversible!!.. So is Sanskar’s!!.. He had to spent 5 years in jail for the mistakes he committed…
There was nothing more left for Sanskar, he lost his everything, his status, his friend, his well wishers and his most dearest son!!.. Grief is not as heavy as guilt, but it takes more away from you. Sanskar’s guilt turned into grief which made his life worse!!..
Maybe there’s more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time!!.. But Sanskar didn’t take the chance he stayed in his guilty past and losed everything which had been his!!.. Now at this moment he could do nothing but repent at his loss!!..
“I am not the one you should have chosen Kavita! I’m not the right person! You were wrong, how could you trust a person like me??..” he cried remembering Sparsh.
~?~