Kriyam: Love Diaries Chapter 1

It was the day when Sayyam had learnt the truth of Sayyam..he was disappointed..angry…angry at himself..how could he be so stupid to fall for Sambhav’s lies..how could he?
He came back home drunk. He went and sat on the bench in the garden.
Sayyam’s POV:
How could I be so mean..how could I..I didn’t trust my own mother,who never harmed me and believe that father, or a devil, who destroyed her life..I have been so cruel with everyone..everyone..Mom..Yuvraaj..

And Krishna…
Krishna, what was her fault? How can I behave so harshly with her? How could I? I..I..always hurted her..always..I made her life a hell, by marrying her, by troubling her, or rather torturing..she was a girl, a girl full of sorrows, alone in her life..and I, I made her life like a burden..How could I..how could I? She didn’t had any relation with my past, but I still..How could I be so mean to my..to my..love..yeah,love..I love her. I love her smile..I love her face..I love her cuteness..I love when she talks to me, when she is close to me.. How could I be so ignorant ..how could I not realize my love for her..she tried to correct me, to support me and I..I behaved like a husband who leaves a wife alone ..yes..thats what I did..I was never meant for her..never..she deserved a lot more..lot better than me..but now I love her..I love her more than anything else..she is my life, my everything..everything..

Krishna was sitting in her room remembering Sayyam’s emotions when he learnt the truth
Krishna’s POV:
He had terror in his eyes..anger…he broken, every part of his heart had been broken into tiny pieces…how would it feel, abandoned by mom ..living a life alone with so many difficulties.. then betrayed by dad … I would have wished to kill myself straight away..he has so much courage..so much.. I didn’t like his condition, I hated it..I wished I could go to him and hug him tightly, and say to him that I’m with him, with him always..because..because I love yu..I love you Sayyam, I love you more than any one else.. No Sayyam, I cannot control my feelings any more, I wish you were here, on my lap, expressing your feelings out before me..I know you don’t love me, but I do, and will keep doing always whatever may come..

Sayyam enters the room . Krishna looks at him . They meet each others eyes..Sayyam’s filled eith tears and Krishna’s that of care..
Sayyam’s POV
I could see her, see her concern, but couldn’t mention it was for me or Suhani…I wished it was for me, I wanted to go to her hug her tightly and cry out my heart’s content to her..She looked at me, looked at me with her beautiful eyes..I wished I could go and tell I loved her how much, how much… I wish I could do that…I wish..

Krishna’s POV:
When he entered, he was crying , crying, and I wasn’t able to meet his eyes but had to understand him…I wanted to hug him, console him, no matter what he thought..I don’t know whether he thought the same, but a part of heart told me that he was.. and I wanted to believe it. He came forward, closed the door and walked to his bed.. but he slipped and fell on me..we were close, very close, about a cm away..in normal conditions I don’t know what would have happened but now..now I just wanted look at his eyes..

Sayyam ‘s POV
We were close, I wanted to move more close to her, but couldn’t..I was over her on her bed, I thought she would push me hard but she didn’t..she looked at my eyes, and tears started rolling down her soft cheeks..I wanted to stop her, but coudnt..I finally looked away from her tearful eyes, I couldn’t see her sorrow any more..we got up , and I looked away from her, but she hold me, with her fair hands..’
“I’m with you, always..’’ I could hear her sya..I looked at her eyes but then turned my face..I know it was rude, she was consoling me and I..but I didn’t deserve her consolation..

Krishna’s POV:
He looked away, I guess he didn’t want to share his sorrows, make me worried, but I was worried..I was worried for my love..I wanted to tell him that I loved him, loved him more than any one else..I couldn’t contro , I hugged him tightly, whatever he thought..I guessed he will jerk me off, but he didn’t..he hugged me back, and I couls feel my shoulder wet..I wanted to console him, to share his sorrows, but words will not come out..

‘’Sayyam..’’, I said.. ’’don’t worry..I am with you..I..I..’’ I couldn’t complete..I wanted to say’’I love you’’ but could not..I wished he did that too, same as I did..

Sayyam’s POV
I wanted her to say ‘’I love you Sayyam’’ but she never..but I guessed she wanted to say that..I had a sudden chill inside my heart, with all my sorrows out, thinking that she loved me…I wanted to tell her, but..She loves you, my heart said to me.Even she didn’t tell, I could feel it..more than that, I was happy that she was with me..always..whether like a stranger..a friend..or lover..it was all that could make me happy, and I wish I was on her lap forever crying out as I did that night..