Recap- Kriyam confession, Sayyam told Krishna he loves her
Chapter 13
Someone saw us…
We stopped kissing and stood in shock. We were afraid of who could have seen us.
Could it be Yuvan??
We turned round and standing there with a shocked expression was Bhavna Aunty.
We didn’t know what to say. Sayyam and I looked at each other stunned, not knowing how she would react.
‘Um, I had better go back inside.’ Sayyam said feeling awkward. He knew it was best for me to speak to Aunty as I am closer to her than he is. He went back into the house.
I struggled to find the words to say to her.
‘Aunty-‘
‘At least now I know why you and Yuvan aren’t together.’ She said sternly interrupting me.
‘Aunty, it’s not what it looks like.’ I started to panic.
‘Look Krishna, this is none of my business. I am not going to say anything. But what you need to think is what if it was Yuvan who saw you instead of me? You know how he feels about you.’ She said.
I felt really uncomfortable and felt guilty. I felt whatever I said wasn’t going to make this situation any better.
She took a step towards me and put both her hands on each side of my arms.
‘Krishna, you need to tell Yuvan. Today it was me, what if next time it’s Yuvan?’
‘There won’t be a next time..’ I said stuttering.
‘Come on Krishna, we both know that’s not true. You don’t kiss someone for no reason. You need to tell Yuvan before he finds out from someone else.’ She gave a tiny smile and touched my cheek. She then went back into the house.
Bhavna Aunty’s words were stuck in my mind. She’s right. I need to tell Yuvan about my feelings for Sayyam.
I gathered my thoughts and went back into the house. Yuvan was sat with Sharad Uncle, Golu and Sayyam. Yuvan gestured for me to sit next to him. I acknowledged him with a little smile and sat next to him. He put his arm around my shoulders and continued his conversation with Sharad uncle. I could feel Sayyams eyes on us. I tried to avoid eye contact as I knew I would melt looking at him. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to discuss what happened and what this means for us.
I couldn’t help it, my eyes met with his. He looked hurt. Hurt by watching me sat in Yuvans arms. I watched as he got up and walked out. I felt bad, either way, no matter what happens, someone will get hurt. I waited for Uncle and Golu to leave so I could talk to Yuvan.
Once they had left, he started talking to me about his day. I listened but didn’t respond. My mind was filled with so many different emotions. I didn’t know how to tell him I have developed feelings for his best friend.
‘Did you want to speak to me about something Krish?’ He asked.
I was stuck for words, no words would come out of my mouth. I shook my head and smiled at him. He hugged me, kissed my forehead and left to go to bed.
I needed to find Sayyam, I needed his help to discuss what is happening between us.
I went outside, I couldn’t find him. It was late at night, it was really difficult to see. I kept walking and saw a small fire from a distance. I kept walking and once I got there, I saw Sayyam. He was sat on a log staring into the fire. I sat a few spaces away from him.
‘Don’t worry, I won’t kiss you again.’ He said.
He sat there for a while in silence. We didn’t know what to say to each other.
‘I tried to tell Yuvan.’ I said. He looked at me.
‘And how did it go?’ He asked gently.
‘I-I couldn’t find the words to tell him.’
‘What would you have told him?’ He asked.
‘I-I don’t know.’ I said confused.
‘You weren’t going to tell him were you?’ He asked.
‘I wanted to Sayyam, I just didn’t know what to say!! He told me he loves me the other day Sayyam, how can I tell him? This would ruin him!’ I shouted.
‘I can’t keep on doing this Krishna. I know how I feel, you know how I feel. The question is how do YOU feel?’
‘I feel terrible!’ I said with tears flowing down my cheeks.
‘When I was kissing you tonight, I have never felt so awful and so good at the same time. The thought of Yuvan finding out about us is killing me. It is tearing me apart to have these feelings for you, but I can’t stop them’ He said.
‘Krishna, I can’t do this anymore.’
I looked at him confused.
‘I can’t be the one giving you the answers. I’ve kissed you twice now. If you feel even one bit of what I feel for you, we wouldn’t be standing here having this conversation.’
He got up and started to walk away. My heart started beating fast, I couldn’t let him walk away. I grabbed hold of his hand. I looked into his eyes, I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face towards mine. I placed my lips on his and kissed him passionately.
*2 Weeks Later*
Two weeks passed, my relationship with Sayyam was going from strength to strength. Sayyam and I would meet everyday and spend most of our day in a quiet area of the beach so that no one would see us. No one knew about our relationship. We would spend the day in each other arms watching the sun go down.
We agreed that we need to tell Yuvan about us, but we have been delaying telling him.
Meeting secretly everyday was getting more and more difficult. We loved spending time with each other. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. It wasn’t all about the passion, I felt so comfortable with him. I felt like I could be myself with him. I had never felt so happy before, being with him felt so right.
It was the end of the day, we were both sat on the sand, cuddling each other, watching the sunset. We sat in silence but felt comfort in each other’s arms. I sat in front of him, his arms wrapped around me.
‘We can’t keep on doing this Krishna.’ He said.
‘We can’t keep on meeting up secretly all the time. We can’t put if off any longer, we need to tell Yuvan. I hate us having to sneak around. I want to be able to be with you freely.’
‘I know, I agree with you.’ I said as he held me tightly. He slowly moved my hair across my back and kissed my shoulder gently. I turned round to face him.
‘I don’t know how I’m going to tell him. How do I tell him that I’ve developed feelings for his best friend and I can’t stop thinking about him, or wanting to be near him or wanting to kiss him all the time.’ I said. I placed my hands on his cheeks and gently kissed his lips.
He softly stroked my cheeks.
‘I’ll tell him.’ He said. He could tell how worried I was.
‘Are you sure?’ I asked.
He nodded and hugged me tightly. ‘I will tell him tomorrow.’
I turned round facing the sunset, worried for what tomorrow will bring. He placed his arms around me, making me feel at ease. I wrapped my arms around his and entwined our fingers as we snuggled together taking in this peaceful and beautiful moment. He pressed his cheek against mine and held me tightly as we watched the sun fall below the horizon.
As the light disappeared and the dark skies approached, we didn’t want this moment to end. As the new day was approaching us, we knew this moment can’t last forever, we would have to face reality. We knew that there may be a chance that we never get a moment like this again…
It was the next day. I woke up with a knot in my stomach. I felt nervous and restless. I knew today, Yuvan would find out about mine and Sayyams relationship. I was afraid of how he would react. I was worried I would lose my best friend.
As the hours passed by, I felt even more anxious. Yuvani came over to my house to see me. I asked her how Yuvan is and if Sayyam had spoken to him.
‘He’s fine, why?’ She asked.
‘Sayyam and I are together now. Sayyam is going to tell him today.’ I said nervously.
‘You and Sayyam?’ She asked. A big smile appeared on her face. She threw her arms around me and gave me a hug.
‘I’m so happy for you both! At last!’ She said squealing in happiness.
‘How do you feel?’ She asked.
I felt relieved at Yuvani’s reaction.
‘I’m so happy Yuvani. He makes me so happy.’
I then told her my concerns of Yuvan finding out.
‘I understand Krishna. I know my brother and what he’s like, but he needs to know the truth.’ She said calmly.
‘I know. Sayyam is telling him today.’ I said nervously.
‘Don’t worry, everything will be ok.’ She said reassuringly and gave me a hug and left.
I waited all day for Sayyam to tell me what happened. It was late afternoon, I felt more and more uneasy. I couldn’t take it anymore. The idea of Yuvan finding out and the thought of losing my best friend was tearing me apart. I couldn’t wait any longer, I went to Suhani Aunty’s house. As I walked through the front gate, I saw Sayyam making his way to the house from the outhouse. I ran up to him and grabbed hold of his arm.
‘Sayyam, Sayyam, we can’t do this. You can’t tell him. You can’t. Let me do it.’ I was panicking. My heart was racing, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. He held my arms to try and calm me down.
‘We need to do this Krishna, he needs to know.’ He said.
‘I need to know what?’
We turned to see Yuvan standing there in front of us. We stood in silence, looking at him. I looked at him worryingly. Sayyam came close to me. He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me near him.
‘About us. There is an ‘Us’ now.’ He said.
I looked at him. I couldn’t believe he said it. The knot in my stomach returned. I was afraid of how Yuvan would react.
There was silence. Yuvan didn’t react. He stood there with a serious expression on his face looking directly at us. Something didn’t seem right. It then clicked in my mind and I realised.
I asked him…’You know, don’t you??’
Precap- The aftermath of Yuvan finding out. The next chapter will be in 2 parts. The first one will be Krishna’s POV and the second part will be Sayyam’s POV.
Hi everyone
I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Let me know what you think.
Shaz x