Chapter 12
It was the morning after the night before. Yesterdays events were still playing on my mind. Visions of Sayyam and how close we were last night were flashing before my eyes. I could still feel his every touch, it was all still so clear in my mind.
Bhavna Aunty, Yuvani and I were in the kitchen preparing breakfast. They were talking about what happened yesterday.
‘Are you feeling better Krishna?’ Bhavna Aunty asked.
I couldn’t hear anything, I was there in body but my mind was elsewhere.
‘Krishna?’ She repeated.
‘Yes… Yes Aunty, much better.’ I said stuttering.
‘It’s a good thing Sayyam noticed you were missing Krishna.’ said Yuvani. I looked at her with a confused expression.
‘You should have seen him Krishna. I have never seen him so scared and worried. As soon as he noticed you were missing, he ran back to the house to check you were there. I went with him and when he saw you weren’t there, he rushed out looking for you. I told him how dangerous it is in the woods at night especially with how heavy the rain was but he didn’t care. All he could focus on was finding you.’ She said.
‘You have a good friend there Krishna.’ said Bhavna Aunty.
‘Sayyam said that Yuvan was going crazy worrying about me.’ I said, wanting to divert the topic away from Sayyam.
‘Yuvan couldn’t even tell until they got back to the house and once he heard you were missing and Sayyam had gone looking for you, he went with Golu to find you both.’ Yuvani said and then left to join everyone else in the living area.
I was shocked and surprised by what I had just heard. Does Sayyam really care for me that much that he risked his life to find me? Why does he care so much? I felt more confused than I ever did before. These feelings inside me were building and I was finding them harder to control.
We took the breakfast to the dining area where Golu and Yuvan were sat talking to Sharad Uncle. Sayyam wasn’t there. I asked where Sayyam was and Yuvan told me he was at the terrace.
I wanted to see him but I was also afraid to see him. I knew that if I get close to him again, I won’t be able to control these feelings. I needed to thank him for saving me last night. I walked up to the terrace and saw Sayyam and Baby together. I felt anxious seeing them together. They seemed to be having a serious conversation. They noticed I was watching.
‘Um, breakfast is ready.’ I said stuttering again.
Baby left and went inside. Something wasn’t right. I walked up to Sayyam. We felt awkward around each other. He turned facing the garden.
‘You know she’s not right for you. You deserve better ‘ I said. I didn’t even realise what I was saying.
‘Really?’ He turned to face me smiling.
‘What’s funny?’ I asked.
‘Nothing.’ He smirked.
‘No, tell me what’s funny.’
‘Are you sure you’re not jealous Krishna?’ He asked smiling.
‘Jealous? Me? No… No why would I be jealous?’ He kept smiling while I was stuttering making myself look silly.
I could feel my cheeks getting warm from embarrassment. I needed to change the topic and fast.
‘Um, Sayyam I wanted to thank you for saving me yesterday.’ I said quietly.
The smile disappeared from his face, he stepped closer to me. I felt uneasy.
Why does my heart feel weak every time he comes near me?
He stood closer to me, he leaned closer as if his lips were going to meet mine. I closed my eyes. His cheek brushed against my cheek, his beard gently grazed my skin. I could feel his warm breath near my ear.
‘You don’t need to thank me.’ He whispered in my ear. He moved his face to face mine. He looked into my eyes.
‘I can smell burning, can you?’ He gave a cheeky smile and left.
Am I jealous? Why would I be jealous? Why would it bother me if Sayyam was with another girl? I asked myself.
But I knew if searched deep inside, I would find the answer to my questions. The problem was I was too afraid to face them.
I walked into the living area to see Baby hugging everyone and saying her goodbyes. Was she leaving? She came up to me last and wouldn’t look me in the eye.
‘I’ve always searched for love in Sayyam’s eyes. Today, for the first time, I saw it, but that love wasn’t for me. It has never been for me.’ She said quietly, she then looked at me and left.
Baby’s words stuck in my mind. What was she trying to say?? What did she mean??
I asked Yuvani why Baby had left so suddenly.
‘Sayyam told her to leave.’ She said.
I was confused, I didn’t understand why he would ask her to leave.
‘He was fuming Krishna. It’s because of her you got left behind in the woods, she wanted Sayyam to herself. You know what his temper is like when it comes to people he cares about. He was so angry with her, he told her to leave.’
‘He really cares for you Krishna.’ She placed her hands on my arms and smiled.
I was speechless, I was even more confused. Why is he doing this to me? Why does he care so much??
As our last day of our weekend away passed by, we all sat together at the house chatting and reminiscing old times. In the evening Bhavna Aunty found some old DVDs of us all when we were younger. We all sat together watching them enjoying discussing the fun times of our childhood.
‘Yuvan and Krishna, you will love this one!’ Aunty put on a clip of Yuvan and I when we were 8 years old and playing together.
‘You both always looked so good together and still do. Look at Yuvan chasing her, he was so cute!!’ She said laughing. Yuvan and I laughed together while watching it.
Suddenly, I noticed Sayyam leaving the room and heading to the garden. I followed once the clip was over. I found him sat in the garden looking upset. I walked up to him.
‘Are you ok?’ I asked quietly.
‘No, no I’m not ok.’ He said.
‘Looking at those videos of you and Yuvan, I can’t compete with that.’
‘This situation we have got going here, I don’t like it. It’s awkward and uncomfortable. I can’t take it anymore.’ He said.
‘Really? Then why did you come here??’ I said sternly.
He stood up to face me.
‘You know for a smart girl, you can be really daft sometimes. I came here to be with you!!’
I was taken aback. What is Sayyam trying to say? Is he saying what I think he is saying??
‘I-I can’t do this anymore Krishna.’ He turned the opposite direction and started walking away.
I felt a surge of anger inside me as he was walking away.
‘Why are you doing this to me?!’ I shouted.
He turned around facing me. He looked confused. I stormed over to him and pushed him. I couldn’t control my feelings any longer.
‘When I had a panic attack, you helped me – why?’ I pushed him again.
‘When Yuvan broke my heart, you were there for me – why?’
‘You became an important part of mine and Ma’s life – why?’
I was hysterical. I kept shouting and kept pushing him every time I asked him a question. I wanted answers.
‘You risked your life to save mine in the woods – why?’
I grabbed him by his collar.
‘You kissed me – why?’
My face was close to his. I was so angry and upset. I pushed him again. Tears were flowing down my face. I couldn’t control these feelings anymore.
‘You came here for me – why?’ I said while crying.
I couldn’t shout any longer. My throat was dry and I kept on crying. I kept hitting him on his chest. I lost control. I buried my head on his chest, crying.
‘Why?? Why Sayyam, why?!’
He put his finger on my chin and lifted my face. He placed both his hands on my cheeks and wiped the tears falling from my eyes gently with his fingers.
He stepped closer to me. He looked deep into my eyes. He tucked my hair behind my ears and placed his hand on my cheek.
‘Because… I love you. Only you. I have always loved you.’ He whispered in his deep and husky voice.
He caressed my arm with his fingers sending a shiver down my spine. He placed his hands on my waist and pulled my body against his. He leaned closer, his lips met with mine. He embraced me in a deep and passionate kiss. I placed my arms around his neck and kissed him passionately in return. The spine tingling sensation appeared again, rushing through my body. I held him tight, I didn’t want to let go.
All my feelings and emotions escaped from my body. I now knew the answer to all the questions that have been affecting me for so long.
I wasn’t afraid anymore. I surrendered, I succumbed to these feelings.
Suddenly, we were forced back into reality.
We heard the sound of footsteps making its way towards us. Someone had seen us…
Precap – Who saw Kriyam??
Hi everyone
I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter especially the Kriyam confession. I hope it was worth the wait!
Let me know what you think
Shaz x