Hello everyone, I am Bela. Mainly a Swaragini writer, I was active on the IB page for a brief period of time.
This is my pilot attempt at trying Ishqbaaaz fanfiction and it is a super weird story, just for humour. I hope you all give it a try.
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Rudra Singh Oberoi is a very smart guy- both in looks as well as brains. He is the powerhouse of talent and is as fit as a Greek God, living on protein shakes should have some benefits after all. Recently, his fiancée Soumya has also acknowledged his utter genius in absolutely everything and has enlisted his help to lose some extra weight. With such success, it is obvious that Rudra Singh Oberoi will now look for more interesting projects to undertake. And he has found a perfect thing to do.
Gauri Singh Oberoi nee Kumari Sharma is a very very smart woman- both in looks as well as brains. She has managed to tame the recently turned wild husband of hers, Omkara Singh Oberoi and has managed to create a space in the hearts of every Oberoi member. Her talents include popping a candy in her mouth via a wall, sewing clothes for her Jatadhari’s idols, creating mischief with her Rudy bhaiya and Anika bhaujai, threatening her enemies with a ‘jhaap ke deewaar pe sathna’ and of course, cross dressing as a boy. Her favorite pastime is warding off the pesky Svetlana and her curiously ever-growing toli of evil people and making ever-failing plans with Rudra and Anika. She is now looking for a new pastime as Svetlana is currently running her own fashion show in the Central Jail and has no time to fight with her. Unknown to her, her Rudy Bhaiya has already thought of a khidkitod plan.
Shivam Singh Oberoi, formerly known and now nicknamed as Mahi, is a very very very smart man- both in looks as well as brains. He is a powerhouse of no talent; the only thing he is good at is acting like his elder twin Shivaay Singh Oberoi, his non-kanji eyes give him away though. He is very close to his mother and brothers and utterly terrified of his bhabhi, Mrs. Anika Singh Oberoi, even if he seems to be the only person in the Oberoi Mansion who actually understands her strange vocabulary. He cites this fear as a result of her clinginess to him when he was acting as his brother. He is now trying to learn the family business which he feels is utterly neglected since the men of the house seem to be always busy with never-ending drama that goes on. It is his dream to share the stage with Shivaay one day and correctly answer the questions asked in an interview. Also, he finds the multi-colored fashionable suits of Shivaay very fascinating and has been spotted wearing a suit with flowers and coconut trees printed on them. Unknown to him, his wish of learning is soon going to be fulfilled in a rather strange manner.
Anika Singh Oberoi is a very very very very very smart woman- both in looks as well as brains. She is also a powerhouse of talent and is a walking dictionary of rather interesting words which she teaches her husband, the great Shivaay Singh Oberoi, whenever she gets time from her busy schedule. She has resumed her wedding planner business with gusto, employing dear Gauri’s help now and then. Her talents include scaring the living daylights out of her husband with her antics, teaching her little brother Sahil math (though he always fails in that), using new words which seem to make no sense, fight with SSO, and of course, falling in his arms whenever possible. Her favorite pastime is jasoosi, something she encourages the other Oberois to participate in as well. Her biggest wish is to see herself on the same page as her mother in-law Pinky. Little does she know that her wish is about to be fulfilled in a rather…….interesting way.
On a rather fine Sunday morning, Shivaay, Tej, Shakti, Jahnvi, Soumya and Dadi went to attend the naming ceremony of a child they didn’t know while Omkara realized that his rather beautiful, washed with Clinic Plus mane has split ends. With the house now having only Pinky, Anika, Gauri, Sahil, Mahi and Rudra, it was time for Rudra to start his new project.
“Uhm Ladies and Gentlemen. There is a reason you all are sitting here before me, rather than going anywhere. After a lot of thinking and observing, I have realized that you all present here are lacking formal education in English. And so I, Rudra Singh Oberoi, have decided to give English tuitions for FREE!”
The general response to this statement was very positive- with the exception of one Sahil Chaturvedi who grumbled that his holidays were going on and he was not obliged to attend any classes. One smack at the back of his head by Anika changed his opinion faster than Shivaay is known to say “I am SSO!”
Delaying no time, each student procured a pen and a notebook and sat diligently while Rudy installed a whiteboard in front of them. Rudra analyzed that every student had the basics and alphabets clear. After reading them a poem, he explained rhyme scheme to his students and gave them the task of writing a mini poem of 4 lines on the one person they admired.
Thus, the students went to work while Rudra chose to indulge in some tasty juice and baked chips meanwhile. After fifteen minutes, each student sat, waiting to be called to recite their poems.
*MEANWHILE IN A BABY NAMING CEREMONY*
Shivaay Singh Oberoi is usually busy but recently, with Mahi volunteering to share his load, he has ample opportunities to socialize. He isn’t a regular but has been spotted at award functions, seminars, weddings, baby showers, golf games and men’s clubs. Today was a baby’s naming ceremony and as fond he is of babies, he decided to attend the event to interview the people on their suggestions for baby names, recognizing that he would need them when Anika got pregnant.
Everything had been fine when suddenly he received a call from Omkara. He picked it up.
“Hello Om, is everything fine?”
“No it isn’t.”
Panic filled him. Anika was working these days again and there was a chance that she would be attacked by his rivals. His heartbeat started increasing.
“What happened?”
“I was checking my Insta stories. Did you know that Rudy is giving English classes to Mahi, Gauri, Sahil, Anika Bhabhi and Chachi?”
“PHAT THE WUCK?”
“I thought so. You would never have allowed this madness to happen.”
“Is this why they are all at home?”
“Rudy detained them on purpose, it is their first class. Imagine what HE must be teaching them.”
A distinct image of Anika saying “Billu Ji, the sun shines bright but not more than your kanji eyes” came to Shivaay’s mind. He gave an involuntary shudder.
“Is your appointment with the hairdresser done, Om?”
“To hell with the appointment! I am on my way home.”
“I am coming too. We will reach together if I leave now.”
Thus, Shivaay and Om had to abort their respective missions to save their wives from getting corrupted.
*MEANWHILE IN OBEROI MANSION*
Sahil, the most literate and English-friendly amongst them all was invited to recite first. He walked up to the board proudly and recited his poem:
“SSO is my favorite man
Though Anika Di is not behind.
She is lovely and intelligent
And he is also very kind.”
This beautiful recitation invoked a great applause while Pinky and Anika were seen to be wiping their tears. Rudra chose Anika to go next, for alphabetically, she was the first and this was an education centre, following strict rules. Anika approached the board with a blush on her face and then smiled beatifically. Had Shivaay been present, his kanji eyes would have sparkled with love.
“Shivaay is my baaghad billa,
He has very kanji eyes.
He works hard and loves everyone
And he does not tell lies.”
Pinky was proud of this touching rhyme and immediately pulled her dearest daughter in-law in a hug while the rest clicked pictures of this miracle. After having settled, next in line was Gauri who hid her lovely face behind her notebook. On being coerced, she finally stood up and started.
“Omkara Ji is very nice
He is my Jatadhari Hippie.
He fights Kaali Thakur and Svetlana
And always wins- YIPEEEE!”
After some forced applause, a satisfied Gauri went to her seat while Pinky stood up for her recitation. She opened her poem in excitement and started reciting.
“My sons are my anmol ratans
They are my budhaape ka saharas.
You won’t finds mens like thems
Even if you searchs the jahaan saara.”
“I have one more Rudra. Shall I recite?” Pinky requested. On being granted permission, she started her performance.
“Shakti Ji is very sweets
He comes with me to jagratas
And then he sits with me happily
And says ‘Oh My Maata!’”
Anika and Gauri gave a round of applause while Shivam walked up, SSO style (he is SSO only, just the sasta one) and hugged his true mother. He then looked at his tuition mates with his non kanji eyes and gave a wide smile. Then, he started his rhyme.
“I love my brothers but Maa is the best
She makes me my favorite vada pav.
And when she wears her new clothes
Papa says ‘Oh Pinky, wow!’”
Pinky was found to be blushing while Anika and Gauri gave her winks. Sahil was scratching his head, wondering why Rudy Bhaiya was pale. He didn’t like Rudy bhaiya, after all he took away Soumya didi, but still, humanity first. He looked at the direction where Rudy was looking and found SSO and OSO on the verge of fainting.
“Ladies and gentlemen, exemplary performances. Today was the first and last lecture. Shivaay Bhaiya and Om bhaiya will now analyze your performances and grade them. Thank you!”
Thus, Rudra’s mission of teaching English was a sore failure.
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I know this is super weird and crazy so I am open to criticism. Please do drop in your valuable comments.