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Home»Fan Fiction Original»The Invincible (Intro+CHP 1)
Fan Fiction Original

The Invincible (Intro+CHP 1)

administratorBy administratorMarch 10, 201630 Comments5 Mins Read
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The Invincible (CHP 1)

The Invincible (CHP 1)

Hello, beautiful people of this online world. Today I am here to start a new story with a different plot. Everyone has been reading soapy, cliché romantic stories for ages! It’s always the same… The girl hates the boy (or vice versa), then they fall in love and a later villain comes in between…. And then blah! blah! blah! It just keeps on extending! But here I am with something to chill your blood. A story of mystery, suspense and loads of surprises! Here is a synopsis:

Audrey Tredwell is a feisty spy at the British Secret Defense Agency. One day she is sent on a appalling mission to the Radley Asylum to investigate the mysterious events taking place there. Will she solve the mysteries? Will she return back home? Will she lose her life? Audrey has always had a love for mysteries but did she love them so much that she herself became one?
____________________________________________________________________________________________

CHP 1

I stare at the computer, my eyes burning away. I try to look for a clue, a hint. There must be some track the murderer didn’t cover. The computer behind me whines a buzzing sound. My brain twizzles around looking for something… My eyes quest away every corner, every inch of the screen until I see it.
I see a ring. A silver ring. As tiny as a penny.
“Zoom in!” I tell Alfie, my co-partner. He zooms in until I can see every practical detail on the ring. There is a small number saying ‘2608’ on the inside of the rim. It must be the model number.
“Go call Mr.Mogumery. Tell him I found a trace that can help us locate the murderer.” I tell Alfie as he scampers of towards the main office.
I look around me. People tinkle of computers, typing vigorously, eager to finish of the report they have to submit while others rack their brains at finding answers to mysteries that would captivate the general public. This is the place I have been functioning in for the last five years. I joined the British Secret Defense Agency (BSDA) to solve conspiracies and explore the different worlds of crime. But for the last five years I have sat on this unchanged desk, beholding away from one video to another photo for eight hours a day for clues to find the criminal.
Mysteries have always spell bounded me. I remember being twelve years old, while watching away episodes of Sherlock Holmes and thinking.. ‘this is what I want to be. I want to be a spy/detective.’ Now that I am a detective I apprehend it’s much more harder than it seems to be. For five years I have sat at this unchanged desk, wondering when I will be sent for a real mission.
“So Audrey, you found a clue, again! Didn’t you?” Mr.Mogumery says from behind me. I turn my chair around to look at him and smile delicately.
“I’ve been doing this for the past five years. I think I’ve got a way around it now.”
I look at him judiciously. He looks drained out, frazzled and fretful.
“Is there something bothering you Mr.Mogumery?” I ask him.
“Not really Audrey.” He says unobtrusively.
“You do realize that you are a very bad liar, don’t you?” I say grinning.
He gives out a forced chuckle and then shakes his head.
“There is something horrible happening!” he says.
“Like what?” I say curiously.
He looks at me and looks down to his shoes. He considers what he’s about to say to me. Picking out the appropriate words for each sentence.
“For the past one week, the patients at Radley Asylum have been acting distressingly.” He says.
“Distressingly? In what way?” I ask him.
“For the past one week, all of the 1500 patients in Radley have been waking up at exactly, ‘exactly!’ ten minutes to three. And they oddly scribble things on the wall. Words and phrases like ‘I see you!’ or ‘I know what you are thinking’ or even ‘I am watching you, all of you!’ The manager of Radley has written us a letter, asking for help to solve this mystery, but the problem is that most of our skilled spies, are already on a mission.” Mr. Mogumery says disappointingly.
I try to picture the case in my head. My brain whizzes around again and I look up at Mr.Mogumery. For this case they need someone with a third eye. Someone who can see the smallest of smallest things and grab it in a fraction of a second. Someone like me. This is my chance to do what I have been wanting to do for ages.
“Mr. Mogumery, Have you thought about sending me?” I say inquisitively.
He narrows his eyes and looks at me, a small smile starts to appear on his face.
“Audrey! You are a genius.. Yes of course you can go! Infact you are the only one who can solve this case! Why did I not think of this before?” he says excitedly.
I smile widely and turn back to my computer as he strolls away to his office to make arrangements for my trip to Radley. I feel my heart racing underneath my blue dress. This is my dream coming true and I am ready for it!

Precap – Audrey arrives at Radley Asylum and is shocked to see an old, horrifying building surrounded by a grave yard.

Hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Comment down below what you think of it.

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30 Comments

  1. honey on March 10, 2016 2:32 pm

    superb no words excellent

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 3:12 pm

      Thank You Honey <3… Your comment is appreciated

    • honey on March 10, 2016 3:52 pm

      don’t think abt neg cuts they all r used to all that sas bahu vala type things u continue with this 🙂

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 5:00 pm

      Thank You For The Support Honey <3.. I really appreciate it <3 So glad to have supporters like you <3 LY

  2. A on March 10, 2016 2:35 pm

    This comment is deleted.

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 3:19 pm

      Dearest A,
      Your hatred-filled comment is very much appreciated… It just shows the amount of hatred you possess and the amount of negativity you are spreading around. If you are trying to pull me down, then you must Remember! Whoever tries to pull anyone down are below that person anyway! Because if you can’t be positive then please keep quiet!
      Lots Of No Care,
      MysteryGirl

  3. A on March 10, 2016 2:36 pm

    This comment is deleted.

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 3:21 pm

      You Hate Me? Well Then Grab A Chair & Wait For Me To Care, Cause It Ain’t Gonna Happen!!

    • Bella on March 10, 2016 3:59 pm

      Hahaha…oh my God..you don’t know how much smiled at your comment..you are incredible dear..and moreover your replies to A were convincing ???…you are amazing and you also write the ff “tangled love” am I right?..
      Anyways..you are superb as usual..and you are always a mystery hehe..I got it from your writing way who you are..love you..bye take care ???

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 4:47 pm

      Dearest Bella,
      Thank you so much for your appreciative comment, it really was the highlight of my day <3.. I'm really glad you have been enjoying the plot of my story <3.. No , I am sorry but I don't write the story 'Tangled Love". Thats my dear friend 'MystertGirl' and I am 'MysteryGirl'..We have a similar style of writing as we often write together..
      Also wanted to mention that I have been loving to read your series of stories :Misconceptions, etc.. As a directioner I have been loving to read them as 'One direction' has been on a break! Thank you once more <3 LY

    • Misha on March 10, 2016 4:02 pm

      I know I don’t have any right to to say anything to you dear A but I felt bad myself..once again I know I don’t have any right..but dear..you are wasting your time reading it and commenting because you don’t like it ?..if you don’t like it don’t read it..easy peasy lemon squeezy..hope I spelled it right though..love you mystery girl..my idol ???

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 4:43 pm

      Dearest Misha,
      Thank you so much for writing to ‘A’… I really appreciate you standing up for me <3.. It really is a delight to know that some wonderful people have my back <3.. I have been a silent reader of your FF as well and let me tell you it's beyond amazing! <3 I have been enjoying it a lot.. Thank you once again for your appreciation <3

  4. shreyA on March 10, 2016 3:25 pm

    its voww ur plotting as u said much better than those stupid daily soaps plzz do continue it’s really worth to wait i m waiting love u byee tc

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 4:41 pm

      Thank You Shreya <3.. Your comment really made my day! I'm really happy to know that you have been enjoying my story. <3

  5. Alia on March 10, 2016 4:42 pm

    Nice story dr…..

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 4:48 pm

      Thank You Alia <3 Pls keep following up & showing appreciation! It really makes my day to read lovely comments from you guys <3 LY

  6. Bisha on March 10, 2016 8:09 pm

    Well…MYSTERY GIRL.. I LOVE MYSTERIES Nd SURPRISES nd in dat case u r gifting me..thank u..keep it up..update soon

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 11:58 pm

      Thank you Bisha <3 I love mysteries and thrillers too which is why I started writing this story in the first place :).. Your words of appreciation have made me really happy.. Hope you continue reading and yes! I will try and keep the plot as engaging as possible so keep reading 🙂

  7. sheetal on March 10, 2016 9:43 pm

    Do u watch PRETTY LITTLE LIARS…I am a grt. Fan of it …… Hope ur gonaa make it thrilling juz like PLL

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 11:48 pm

      OMG! Yes! I am the biggest PLL fan! You actually watch it? Which season are you on? Who is your favourite character? Are you excited for the new season?? OMG! I know I’m asking too many questions on a go but I’m just so excited to know that you watch it. I was actually inspired to write this story through a book I heard about and of course ‘The Biggest Mystery Show!’ PLL!’ Thank you so much for reading my story <3 It made me really happy.. And yes! My story will be pretty intense for the readers.. Just like PLL. <3 LY

  8. faima on March 10, 2016 9:50 pm

    Nce one dea….it’s realty intrstng

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 10:03 pm

      Thank U Faima! <3

  9. A on March 10, 2016 10:11 pm

    I’m really sorry for my comment.Actually it was not me someone else who was useing my phone.For my great mistake i’m quiting this site.

    • MysteryGirl on March 10, 2016 11:55 pm

      Dearest A,
      If you regret your mistake.. It’s a good thing. Next time make sure that you don’t let anyone do this blunder or do it yourself. Comments that discouraging can really hurt someone’s self esteem and make them sad. Thankfully I’m not one of those ‘hater’s make me weak’ person. Please make sure that what you say is polite and gentle. Opinions are accepted and respected.. But they shouldn’t be very overwhelming.. You shouldn’t leave the site due to this incident & yes, I forgive you.. And yes, if you don’t like a story, don’t comment anything.. just stay quiet…
      Looking To A Fresh Start,
      MysteryGirl

  10. Shraddha on March 11, 2016 2:04 am

    Oh My God! Gurl, this chapter was amezemoah! (I know that word doesnt exist!) But really.. You are so talented! The way you write is just so perfect, the way you play around with words is just so gud!! Im in love.. So u watch PLL too huh? Im the biggest pll fan.. Ask me anything and I will know.. Hehe. So eagerly waiting dearest friend! Cant wait to know what Audrey will do next..(BTW- i love the name Audrey,, it reminds me of Audrey Hepburn :).. And I had a question, is there a male lead as well.. Eager to find out more 🙂 byeeee

    • MysteryGirl on March 11, 2016 6:35 pm

      Hi Shraddha, Thank you so much for showing so much love to my story <3.. Hehe.. I guess there is a huge PLL gang over here.. Yes, I do watch PLL and I absolutely love it too :). Glad to know that you like Audrey. Yes, there is a main lead who will be introduced in the next chapter (which is now up).. Hope you enjoy it and love our new lead :p.. LY <3

  11. Roma on March 15, 2016 8:49 am

    Awesome episode, just awesoooooome. …keep it up. Love you loads. ..just wanted to ask, r u the same who wrote the story “radhika the mystery” if u r, then plz continue that story also , plz don’t leave it in the middle. …love you

    • MysteryGirl on March 15, 2016 5:42 pm

      Dearest Roma,
      Thank you for your kind words of appreciation.. I really lifts my spirits up 🙂 No, I’m not the person who wrote the story ‘radhika the mystery’.. Infact this is my first fan fiction/ story on this site.. I hope you continue reading it and that you like it 🙂
      Ly,
      MysteryGirl

  12. Roma on March 15, 2016 9:00 am

    This story is very interesting plzzzz continue dear

    • MysteryGirl on March 19, 2016 10:01 pm

      I will continue 🙂

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