All Bad Qualities centre round the Ego. When the Ego is gone, Realisation results by itself. There are neither Good or Bad Qualities in the Self. The Self is free from all the Qualities. Qualities pertain to the Mind only.
– By Ramana Maharshi
Imlie’s POV –
The day started off the way it shouldn’t have been. It’s was not less than a nightmare. And the nightmare took place at sharp 11.19 a.m. in the morning. Early that day, I was awakened due to the nasty flute ringtone. Naturally, I felt irritated by the ringtone like any other person who hates to be woken up by any noise that disturbs his or her sleep. But the moment I lifted the call, I was on cloud nine. But now, I realized with pain that I shouldn’t have overthought upon this idea that would not be fulfilled atleast in this birth.
On call was Babusaheb and he called me to arrive at a venue at 11 a.m. The moment I heard about this plan, I thought that Babusaheb had called me to apologize for all he did. And my happiness doubled a thought suddenly doomed on me that it was our first year marriage anniversary. Who wouldn’t be happy to patch up their fight and unite again on the day of marriage anniversary ? At that moment, I even forgot that Babusaheb had even hurt me. By 8 a.m., I sat all ready to reach the venue. But I made up my mind that I wouldn’t reach early at any cost or else Babusaheb will figure it out that I was pining to meet him and missed his presence a lot. Also, it was not me who did any mistake. So, I have every right to show attitude to Babusaheb that he won’t ever think of hurting me again. But then I changed my mind. What if he gets pissed off, if I show my attitude ? Though he is a culprit, he is warm headed serious Patrakaar and wouldn’t entertain my tantrums at any cost. Perhaps I should give a try to show my attitude or better be in my limits. But in any manner, I won’t show him that I am desperate. But then I really was desperate. And I even imagined Babusaheb asking for forgiveness and celebrating our anniversary with a pomp among our family members. And the thought of uniting itself made me thank Seeta Maiyya for creating a temporary distance between us as this distance will make me double happier when we reunite.
And I don’t know how the time went by as I lay preoccupied with my imaginations and thoughts. And finally I glanced at the clock. It was 10.51 a.m. already. I discovered that I was late and I know how much Babusaheb hates to wait. But wait. What about my wait for him all this while ? And then I convinced my brain that he deserved to wait for little longer for hurting me. And then I went out of the hostel, all in helter-skelter. And though I noticed that I knocked the hostel warden in hurry, I didn’t thought of wasting even a moment to look behind to say sorry. Uh common ! After all, there was no time to say sorry to her but to hear sorry from Babusaheb.
I reached the venue at 11.02 a.m., all out of breath. But to my surprise, neither was Bahusaheb visible nor were any decorations visible. And then I felt a little disappointed. I expected that a desperate Langoor would be waiting his Jhalli. But nevertheless, I waited for him.
Finally at 11.09 a.m., I heard a voice calling me. And strange as I was greeted in an indirect way. “Were you already waiting here !”, remarked Bahusaheb.
And in a split second, I looked up straight into his eyes. His face had no sign of happiness but an exhausted helplessness. It felt as if he was there for some other reason. I feared if there was a disaster rolling into my way soon. But I put off all my negative thoughts aside for a while and looked confident. “Babusaheb !”, and the air was lost in silence. It was difficult to predict whether it was the ominous silence before the arrival of cyclone or an ominous silence followed by something cherishing.
Aditya’s POV –
I no longer have any courage to bear the heartbreak. My heart has suffered from enough heartbreak now. But now I decided that I want to make my heart rigid by letting my heart break into pieces once again. I know that this is a hard move but I felt this was necessary.
I looked up into Imlie’s eyes with tears which seem to be refusing to run down the cheek. My tears were frozen now. How much more can I cry in my loneliness ?
And with trembling hands, I extended the papers towards Imlie which will be an end to our already broken relation. I didn’t know that Imlie would leave me if I ask a simple question as that. I wasn’t even expecting sorry from her for that but wished that she simply returned home. But I lost my every single hope that she would return and return me the peace in my life.
Imlie’s POV –
I noticed the trembling hands extending towards me. It seemed to be some stamp papers and I wondered if he was giving me some property papers as a gift on anniversary. But I had some doubt in my mind too as to why the hands were trembling. Nevertheless, I pushed away this thought and began wondering if such a gift as property papers wasn’t too much even for an anniversary. I wanted his togetherness not the property and I thought of rejecting but then I decided that I shouldn’t jump to conclusions without any confirmation. So I took the papers into my hands. And then I looked up to find his eyes moist. I couldn’t differentiate if it were happy tears or tears filled with pain. Seeing his confused face, I felt afraid to glance at papers. But somehow I gathered up the strength to read it just to break my heart into infinite pieces. And darkness blinded my eyes. I thought I was dreaming. I even pinched myself to make sure I wasn’t in a nightmare which might possibly be the case. And then I read the initial words in Capitals – DIVORCE.
I just didn’t wish to speak anything. Afterall, I had faced enough quota of being abandoned by majority of people in my world. Either the destiny forces me to live apart from my loved ones or the loved ones start hating me. Can’t I ever be happy ? I just wanted to escape from this world somewhere where neither anyone could ever see me nor I could see anyone. “Am I so bad to be abandoned ? Am I so bad that people get fed up by me ? Am I wrong in prioritizing my self respect over togetherness ?”, I wondered. And then I collapsed. And I don’t know what happened later.
When my eyes opened, I found myself in a hospital bed in an isolated room. And then I called for the nurse to know why I was here. Did I just faint from my nightmare ? Did my dream sequence, lead me to the hospital ? I was clueless. And then the nurse arrived and she said I fainted at the venue which I assumed to be a dream sequence. “No !”, I screamed, finding it hard to believe that Babusaheb can even divorce me. And then came Babusaheb hearing my scream.
Aditya’s POV –
Her scream worried me though I thought I made my heart rigid. I came running inside the room and found Imlie to be shocked, as it struck to me. But I wondered, “Is it not the divorce what she wants ?”
And then I rubbed my hand behind her back, in an effort to comfort her. But she seemed to be more panicked on seeing me. And then I backed off a step behind and stood still.
And then she whimpered in pain as it felt to me, “Am I that bad to be abandoned ?”
And then I fell into silence. But my mind wasn’t silent anymore. It was in a heated mess. “Is it not the divorce she wants !”, I rethought. Perhaps not. Then will she come back to me if I ask her once more ? And a new hope rose in me.
Imlie’s POV –
And then the final straw of hope broke. It was hanging on to the tender leaf till now but finally it fell and broke now. And then I heard Babusaheb’s voice. “Will you come back to our house ? Our family misses you badly.”
Aditya’s POV –
Imlie reverted back to me with eyes filled with agony. “Did you miss me ? If you really missed me, you wouldn’t have hand me out the divorce papers. Until now I had the hope that our relationship isn’t too weak. But you proved that our relationship is a weak straw which if given a small blow, can blow it off permanently.”
Meanwhile, we both forgot to notice the nurse who was glaring at us. She was shouting on top of her voice. “Sir, please go out of the room or else she may face another panic attack !”. And then I backed off and left the room.
And then I went into a deep slumber, leaning my head on the wall, outside the room.
When I finally opened my eyes, my eyes searched for Imlie instantly. I glanced at my wrist watch and discovered that it was nearly five hours since I was deep asleep. And then I went into the room in semi- consciousness. On witnessing none inside the room, I returned to complete consciousness. I went in search of the nurse who looked after Imlie. “The girl is not inside the room.”
The nurse replied, “I thought you had left too. It had been 15-20 minutes since she left the hospital.”
And then I raced to find the exit of the hospital for I know where she may be, at present. She might be probably at the hostel.
Part II to be continued soon…
I promise second part would be much interesting !
Hope you liked this part. Do mention your valuable views. Your feedback is warmly invited, welcomed and accepted !
Yours Sincerely,
Shriharshita
Update Credits : Shriharshita