She hates me but I love her – OS

Once i said that i will write my autobiography.later i dropped the idea of writing one. Yesterday i thought to write a little about my life or you can say a page from my life. Just enjoy the reading and please don’t pity on me because i am a bad girl in all possible way 😉 :p

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She was my little sister, who clung in my hands when she was a little kid.She was 6 years younger to me.she was beautiful with chubby cheeks, long curly hair and her big eyes. Her thick eyelashes were long and curly. I love her eyes very much. I called her kutty(kid/baby in malayalam) when she was a kid.

I never thought that my little sister who needed me in her every little thing(even in bathroom and toilet 😉 lol i was like her ayah) hates me this much. She wasn’t like a little sister to me,she was like a daughter to me. I was (i am) protective of her like a brother. Because i don’t want anything happen to her which i experienced in my life.but she never knew the fact of me being protective for her.

She hates me,maybe because i wasn’t a perfect sister to her,maybe because of my attitude,maybe because of my rudness. I don’t know why. I asked her the reason of the hatred.she said that there is no specific reason or she don’t know the reason.

I started thinking why would she hates me? I never can think that she was jealous of me because i was bad in everyone’s eyes even in my parents’s view. I never was a good daughter for my parents,good student for my teachers(still few of my teachers believes that i was their best student but i never was) never was good sister for my sisters but i was good for my brother who was not related to me by blood, i was good for my friends, good for every kids.i am not exactly know that i were a good teacher to my students or not.

There my little sister, she was good in everyone’s eyes. Because she was silent in front of everyone unlike me. She argues but only in our home. She never argues with boys or she never act like a boy like me(that’s the main reason why eveyone thinks i am bad) she know eveything that i know like drawing(better than me) writing and she was studious than me. My parents were proud of her because she know how to pass in every subjects, and me, i know how to fail in every subjects so they were never proud of me. Look, she was perfect in every way. Then why did she hates me?

I hate cooking and i never step in to kitchen unless i need something and there she,my little sister, she helps my mum in cooking and serving and the other side i sit with my phone and never take off my eyes from it.

Sometimes we are like best friends. We both share everything to one another. We laugh with each other,we make fun of each other. That time i thought that she was acting like she hates me. Maybe she don’t hates me,maybe it was my illusion,maybe i am jealous of her,maybe…….

Yesterday when i gave her my cloth and make up as an advanced birthday gift to her,she asked why am i loving her so much? I said, no,it is not love.it is just….i just stopped i found no words to tell a lie but i said in my mind that YES I LOVE YOU EVEN YOU DON’T LOVE ME .

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That’s it.

Hey don’t take my kiddoo wrong. After all she is a kid. She is not meatured.maybe she don’t know the real meaning of love. She didn’t experienced the real life till now. So please love my little sister like you love me.