A/N: Here comes the last episode of Guilt. Phew finally I finished a story. I actually thought of ending it at episode 45 but someone requested me to at least make it reach 50th episode(arviabhigya (in wattpad and Nikky here in TU) and at last moment I extended it. This wasn’t the actual end I thought. But I hope I justified your expectations.
P.S: I would love if you people post long comments also which totally depends on your convenience and you can also reserve your comments for the epilogue, totally your wish. Positive and negative comments are welcome. And if you feel comfortable you can comment in any language like hindi, urdu, tamil and Kannada, I will love to read them too because we can express ourself better in our mother tongue so feel free and let me know how did you feel throughout the ff. Any doubts any clarification you can let me know which I can clear with the epilogue on Monday. And I promise from next week I wil be regular with my other stories.
And there is a surprise coming in for RagSan fans. Happy reading. And keep smiling. I can finally say that yohooo
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“Pari… Look here. Here beta. Camera is here” Pari moved her head listening to the most soothing voice of her life. Her papa who was recording her steps smiling behind the handy cam. She smiled widely and walked happily to him. “Awww meli choti bandariya” said Sanskar lifting her in his hands. “Yaay Pari started walking. Yaay” screeched Ansh and Ananya jumping.
“Sanki what are you doing? You are spoiling the kids also. Oye their school bus will come. They are not even ready” said Ragini. “Mumma mumma. Pari started walking” said Ansh and Ananya jumping in front of Ragini. “Really?” said Ragini surprised. They nodded their heads happily. Ragini looked at Pari smiling and neared her and twirled her in air happy. “Carefull bandariya. She will feel dizzy” said Sanskar grabbing Pari. “Pari ka chamcha” said Ragini, Ansh and Ananya glaring him. And Pari encircled her little hands around Sanskar’s neck smiling. And he showed them tongue teasing and ran out of the room and all three of them chased him.
_________________________________Flashback_______________________________
“Are you listening Sanki. You cannot leave me like this.” said Ragini looking at Sanskar painfully. Sanskar’s hand started moving and he held her hand and tried saying something. Ragini looked at him confused. He signed her to remove the oxygen mask. And she neared his face and removed it. “You…. you won’t leave me na… I…. I….. can’t live without you” he struggled to say. Ragini smiled through her tears and nodded her head. “This time I promise you.
I will never ever go away from you. I promise” said Ragini and touched his forehead with her nose and sobbed. “Excuse me ma’am. Please go out. We can’t allow you to stay more” said the doctor and Ragini kissed Sanskar’s forehead placing the oxygen mask back. “I love you” she said and Sanskar said “I love you more” which wasn’t audible clearly but she knew his reply. As she walked outside she remembered all the happenings after her marriage.
Him trying to stay away from her. His confession. His reluctance to move forward in marriage and her pain due to it and at last him deciding to move forward in marriage. His continuous struggle to keep her happy when she used to get upset due to not conceiving. Her pregnancy and his reaction to it. Him running to her rescue when her water broke and their cute moments during her delivery. She smiled remembering it.
She remembered her harsh words and rude behavior with him and she closed her eyes letting the tears flow silently. She was always unfair to him always and he always loved her. “Now I don’t have a complain that I did not see you before you took last breath bhayyu. I know God knew if I was there with you at that time I would have died there itself” thought Ragini looking up
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“Sanskar. Me and your maa were planning to go for a pilgrimage to Vaishno devi” said DP. “But papa so far. We will also come with you” said Sanskar.
DP smiled at his concern. “No beta we can manage. Let me enjoy being alone with my wife for some days” said DP winking at him. “Ji” said Anu glaring him. She blushed and ran to kitchen. Everyone burst out laughing. “Papa aap bhi na why you tease her” said Ragini nodding her head. “This small small things only make a marriage happy and long lasting beta. I just pray you both stay together like this always” said he caressing her cheek. And Sanskar smiled at him.
Problems never stop coming but facing them is the real test.
His phone ringed and he picked it up and spoke “Ha Sahil bhai.. Oh is it… We will be there” said Sanskar and disconnected the call. “What happened?” asked Ragini as she was placing the plates and dishes back in kitchen. “Kavya’s water broke we have to go to hospital” said Sanskar wiping his hands. “Okay let’s leave. Ansh, Ani come your school bus is also gonna come” said Ragini and picked their school bags and walked out Sanskar followed her with kids and DP with Pari and Anu. “Mumma can’t we take leave today. We want to meet Kavi maasi’s kid” said Ananya pleading. “Ani baby. No missing school. Evening you can come directly there I will send bade papa to your school you can come with him” said Ragini and kissed her cheek and Ansh’s cheek. They sat in the bus and waved her and the bus moved. She sat in the car and Sanskar drove the car.
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“Thank god you came. She is calling you from the time we came here” said Dayal as soon as he spotted Ragini. “Poppy relax” said Ragini hugging him to console him. Yohan was standing outside nervous. “Yohan” said Ragini placing her hand on his shoulder. “I’m scared Ragu. I’m scared” said he hugging her. She rubbed his back to console him. The doctor came out and Ragini asked her can she go inside. And she took Ragini with her.
Kavya was screaming very badly. “Kavi” said Ragini kneeling beside her holding her hand. “Ragu I will lose my kid this time also. I will” said Kavya struggling. “You know Kavi who is the strongest person in the world?”she paused and then continued “A mom who decides to protect her kid. Once she decides to protect her kid nothing can stop her. Nothing. Even god will bow down in front of her. So be strong, you can do it. You can protect your kid” said Ragini and caressed her hair. Kavya screamed for the last time and they heard baby’s cry. “It’s a boy” said the doctor and moved with the baby. “See I had told you na” said Ragini and kissed her forehead. Kavya smiled as tears flew from her eyes and she nodded her head weakly.
“Kavi” said Sumi sitting beside Kavya and kissed her forehead. “Poppy” asked she. “Your poppy is crying outside” said Sumi smiling. “Poppy” said Kavya and Dayal entered with tear filled eyes. He ran and hugged her. “I was so scared Doll. Your screams were taking my breath every second” said he. “I’m fine poppy. See” said Kavya dragging him out of the hug. “How are you bacha” asked Swara sitting in front of her. “I’m good Shona dee absolutely fine” said she smiling and Swara smiled caressing her hair. “Awww he looks like Kavi only. Not like Yohan an inch also” said Harish who was playing with the baby. “Ohho uncle you don’t know anything okay. He looks like me not like her” said Yohan. “I know Harish don’t know anything but this time he is right.
He looks like Kavya only.” said Avantika taking the baby in her arms. “How is that possible. Something will be similar” said Yohan and approached the baby and stood confused. “What happened?” asked Ragini. “He looks like normal baby how are they saying he looks like Kavi. He is so small to recognize” said Yohan. “Buddhu ram they were just teasing you. Staying with this Mandh Budhi Maheshwari, you have become one” said Ragini hitting him playfully on his head. “Again you called me that Bandariya? I won’t leave you” said Sanskar and chased her all around and she ran out and he followed her. “So much they fight” said Dayal who was holding Pari. “But can’t stay without each other” said Anu smiling.
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“Adarsh” said Kavya and Sanskar looked at her. “We will name him Adarsh” said Kavya when they were discussing the name of the kid. “He was like my elder brother Sanskar. I do miss him the way you miss him” said Kavya smiling and Sanskar smiled and nodded his head.
“Actually we have a news for you all” said Sahil hesitant and he looked at Swara to say but she nodded her head and signed him to say. “Wo actually we are expecting our second baby” said Sahil. “What? wow” said Ragini and hugged Swara and Kavya joined her. “OMG I’m so happy dee” said Ragini and Swara blushed in her hold. “Congrats Sahil bhai” said Yohan and Sanskar hugging him from the either sides. Anu, Sumi congratulated Avantika for becoming Dadi for the second time and Dayal and DP congratulated Harish.
“Mumma what did papa say why all are hugging each other” asked Swapnil standing beside Swara. “Wo swapu’s mumma gonna get him a baby to play with” said Ragini caressing his hair. “Sachi” said he with wide open eyes and big bright smile. “Muchi” said Ragini kissing his cheek. “Yay” screeched he and ran inside the ward and everyone smiled looking at his excitement. “He is same like Vikram. Even he was so happy when we were expecting Ragini” said Sumi and tears flew from her eyes. “Maa” said Swara and Sumi wiped her tears smiling.
Ragini became sad and headed out from there. Swara signed Sanskar to go behind her and he complied. “Mumma will be again angry on Poppy?” asked Ananya. “No bacha your mumma’s love for your poppy has won her anger long back. She just misses her bhayyu badly” said Sahil caressing her cheek and lifting her in his arms.
“Ragini” said Sanskar and she turned and hugged him immediately. “How much ever I try I can’t fill that void space Sanskar. It always pains me thinking why did he leave me and go. I will always need him in my life. I will always have that regret that I did not know what he wished in his life. At least one wish of his; a last wish I could not fulfill.
He had nothing for himself. Not even dreams” said Ragini and sobbed. “If you cry like this remembering him you know how much it will pain him. You have to remember him with a smile otherwise it will pain him that he is not with you when you need him. You want him to be sad due to it?” asked Sanskar and she nodded her head. “Now be a good girl and stop crying bandariya. You look like a langoor when you cry” he said and Ragini hit him playfully on his chest and he dragged her more close to him. “I know Ragini you will not forgive me. But I have no regrets now as you are with me. I don’t need anything else” thought he and closed his eyes.
*********************6months leap************************************
“Sanki come early today evening ok. Shona dee’s godh bharai today” said Ragini fixing his tie. “Okay madam” said he saluting. She dragged him with his tie and placed his lips on her lips and Sanskar looked at her shocked. They heard door bell and departed. Ragini ran out of room and he screamed “I will take revenge bandariya”
“Hello my name is Parth” said a person when Ramu kaka opened the door. “I want to meet Ms. Ragini” he said and Ramu kaka took him inside. “Who is that Ramu kaka?” asked Ragini descending the stairs. “Hello my name is Parth(Kinshuk Mahajan)” said he forwarding his hand and Ragini looked at him confused shaking hand.
“Sir please don’t call any of my family member…. I know I’m gonna die….. And my chotu Ragini cannot see me like this…..” said Vikram pleading when he was taken in the ambulance. He looked at Swara painfully who was lying unconscious.
“But we…” said Parth and he was interrupted by Vikram who said “Please sir… I have very less time. I know my chotu, she will somehow find me out and come. When she comes tell her as I could not be there for her birthday this time I have kept a gift with Kishan. And I told him also unless she comes not to give it or send it to her. Please convey this message somehow to her please” said Vikram pleading him and his pulse started dropping and he started breathing heavily widening his eyes more and more.
“Actually that day my cousin also met with an accident in US and was serious and I had to leave the country in a hurry and when I came back I could not trace you as you people had changed your home. I just had the doctors contact number who tried saving him that night Doctor Akshay.
Recently he called me and said he had seen you and recognized but I was in US for some work commitment and finally I came back to India and found your address and came here. I’m really sorry that I took such a long time. I know how much a person’s last words mean to the people who love him the most” said Parth and Ragini sat numb and tears were flowing from her eyes. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. And she did not know how to react. “I…. I….” struggled Ragini to say anything. “Thank you so much” said Sanskar who was standing behind her and she turned to him and her face muscles struggled to show any expression. She was still numb. She was about to collapse. Sanskar neared her and held her. “Bhayyu” only could escape her mouth.
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“I know you don’t want to see his face also Ragini but we have to do this” said Sanskar holding her shoulders as they were standing near Kishan’s home door. Sanskar pressed the calling bell and a lady opened the door. “Yes?” she asked (Sara Khan). “Ji we want to meet Mr. Kishan” said Sanskar. “But he” said she. “Please ma’am we will not take much time” pleaded Sanskar. “Okay come in” she said and they headed inside behind her.
Ragini closed her fist as much as she could and Sanskar held her hand and she looked at him. He signed her to control herself and she nodded her head. They entered a room where Kishan was lying on a bed. As they neared him Ragini’s eyes widened as she saw his situation. His right hand was twisted and lips contorted. “He was paralyzed more than 8 years back. From then he is in same state” said the lady. “You?” asked Sanskar to the lady. “I’m his wife. He got this attack just two months after our marriage. He had nobody other than me” said she and wiped her tears. “You are really brave dee” said Sanskar holding her shoulders and consoling her. “I had to fulfill our marriage vows. To be with him in his all struggles” said she smiling through her tears.
“R…Ra….gini” said Kishan(Angad Hasija) with difficulty with his contorted mouth when he looked at his left. Ragini was shocked. She was not in a state to answer. He smiled like a small kid looking at her like he was craving to see her from births. Hot tears gushed down her cheeks burning her face and head. She stumbled and was about to fall. Sanskar held her supporting her. With difficulty she moved to him and sat beside him. He struggled to touch her head and Ragini bent her head sobbing. He signed his wife something and she brought a box. He sat with Sanskar’s help and tried opening it but was not able to. Ragini stopped his hand and opened it and found a gift. She left a breath she was holding from a long time looking at her bhayyu’s last gift.
“Thank you” she said looking at Kishan who smiled through his tears. “I… I was holding my breath for this” he said with struggle. Ragini hugged him and sobbed. He signed her to open it. She nodded her head and opened it and found a cd in it. “What is this?” asked she wiping her tears. “CD” said Sanskar. “I have eyes stupid Maheshwari. I know it’s cd” said Ragini glaring him. Kishan and his wife looked at them shocked. “That’s how she speaks” said Sanskar smiling at them and they smiled looking at them. “Can I use your cd player and tv?” asked Ragini and Kishan’s wife nodded her head and inserted the cd in the player. Sanskar helped Kishan to walk outside the room and all of them reached hall.
“Bacha” Vikram’s voice stopped Ragini’s heart beat. She looked up shocked. It felt like she took a breath after long period of breathlessness. It felt like something which can’t be defined exactly. The tear burnt like it wasn’t water but lava gushing down her cheek. She did not hear him from almost 8 years and she was craving to hear him from ages it felt. Finally her bhayyu spoke though it was virtual it was worthier than the reality.
Vikram shrank his eyes and spoke “I know you are angry that I will be going out of station on your birthday. Sorry chotu. You know na work commitments. If I attend this conference they will promote me and I will get more salary and I can fulfill my dreams soon, dreams of your and Shona’s marriage. But I thought I will spend my chotu’s birthday like this at least. Sorry na” Ragini moved blankly not able to react.
“Abhi mujhme kahi baki thodi si hai zindagi”
“Bhayyu….” said she and held herself from scattering
Jagi dhadkan nayi jaana zinda hu mai tho abhi
She took a breath and it looked like she was dead all these days and somebody breathed her life back inside her
Kuch aisi lagan iss lamhe me hai yeh lamha kaha tha mera
She remembered all her moments with Vikram. His care his words his expressions like it was playing in front of her just then.
Ab hai samne isse chulu zara mar javu ya jeelu zara
She stood near to the tv and tried touching his face but again withdraw her hand back fearing it’s a illusion and will disappear if she touched it and hesitantly touched it
Kushiya chumlu ya rolu zara marjavu ya jeelu zara
When it did not disappear her emotions broke all the limits and she kissed his face all over the tv and touched her cheek to it and let all her tears flow. It felt like she was hugging her bhayyu again. How much she craved for it. She cannot even put it in words.
Is there anything better than water which can satisfy your thirst, is there anything which can cool you like the shadow of a tree when you are burning under the sun. Is there anything better than the first byte of food when you are hungry from months. It felt that good. It felt more than that.
“Chotu on your this birthday I have a wish. You remember you always used to ask me what is my wish. I thought a lot and this came in my mind. Will you fulfill that? Please” Vikram asked bending his head and closing one eye. Ragini nodded her head and sobbed. “You know I am always proud that you are my chotu my bacha. I gave you all the good values in life. I know you will never forget them. But one thing is like a black mark on your such good personality.
You know what?” asked Vikram. Ragini nodded her head. “Your anger. Your stubbornness not to listen to anyone when you get angry on someone. You will literally start hating the person. I can’t digest your behavior that time” he said and paused. “I told you many times learn to forgive people because nobody is perfect in the world. We all do mistakes. We do sin also but nobody is bad only situation make them bad. Every evil person has a story where his goodness was crushed. Everyone cannot be happy all the time. It will imbalance the world and God’s equation. So situations come where one person does mistake and the other has to pay for it. But that is your Karma. And don’t worry his karma also will come back and he will pay for it. We are just human beings God has his own ways to punish people and make them repent.
So we should leave it on God. Forgiveness is the least you can give to someone because God will plan such things for them you and I cannot even imagine. Look at Kishan’s situation. He got Paralytic attack. I don’t say it is for his mistakes but it was fate. He was always repenting for hurting me that day. I always assured him that I don’t have any grudge on him and I forgave him long back. But your anger was haunting him. You not forgiving him was the biggest burden on his soul. Guilt is something which is heavier than the heaviest thing chotu. I’m damn sure if you say that you forgave him he will recover. That’s why I tried talking to you morning but you never give a chance for others to speak when you are angry and I got this idea. Will you fulfill your bhayyu’s this wish?
Will you learn to forgive people?” he pleaded her. A tear dropped from his eye and Ragini tried wiping it forgetting it’s a video. He wiped it taking a deep breath. “I don’t know chotu why I feel like this. I know you will kill me for saying this but I’m feeling strange I feel this is my last wish of my life like I don’t want anything else in my life or feels like I will not get a chance to make any wish” said he and stood thinking deeply. “No…. no…..” said Ragini and struggled to breath between her sobs and hugged the tv more tightly like she doesn’t want to let him go ever. “Sorry sorry sorry. I did not wanted to say it on your birthday but I felt like sharing my restlessness. Please chotu sorry for making you emotional on your birthday.
Happy birthday my life and soul. Ya I know new name but I felt like saying. Ahhh I’m feeling strange from few days. Happy happy birthday my chota sa bacha” said Vikarm and stood smiling through his tears. “Don’t go na bhayyu….” said Ragini bending her head to control her paining throat “Please” said she and tried grabbing his figure but the video finished and it took her breath away. “Bhayyu…….” screamed Ragini collapsing on the floor and fainted in Sanskar’s arms. “Ragini…. Ragini….” patted Sanskar her cheek. “Take her inside. I will call mom she is a doctor and her clinic is nearby” said Kishan’s wife and dialed a number from her phone as Sanskar lifted Ragini and headed inside the room.
“R…. R….gini” said Kishan and tried walking behind her and fell down. “Kishan…” screamed his wife horrified. She helped him to stand and walked with him and made him sit beside Ragini. Sanskar sprinkled the water in the glass on the table and Ragini opened her eyes slowly and found Sanskar who was sobbing kneeling beside her. She looked beside him and found Kishan sitting. “I forgive you Kishan Bhai.. I forgive you” she said and hugged him getting up and caressed his back. Kishan’s eyes gleamed with happiness.
As the biggest burden on his soul vanished he felt extremely light. She dragged herself away from the hug and sat holding Sanskar’s hand. Sanskar sat in front of her on the other side and kissed her forehead. “Dare you play this fainting game with me again Bandariya. I will never talk to you. You know how much scared I got. Do you have any idea” said Sanskar sobbing cupping her face. “Shhhh” said Ragini placing her finger on his lips and nodded her head in no and wiped his tears. “I want to tell you something” said she. He looked at her confused. “I forgive you Sanskar. I forgive you. And I’m sorry for whatever I made you to go through because of my anger. Will you forgive me for that?” asked she cupping his face. He closed his eyes.
The burden on his soul disappeared and it felt his life was meaning full now. It felt like he achieved something finally worth fighting all his life. Worth of his struggle of so many years. Worth sacrificing all his happiness. He held her hand and kissed it. “You know this is the best sentence you have ever told me. The best one. And I forgave you long back Ragini. You hurt me but you loved me more than that. You repented for your deeds than asking sorry all the time. That is what makes you special. Very special” he said and dragged her in a hug. “I have one more thing to say” said Ragini. He looked at her confused. She held his hand and placed it on her stomach. “What happened? Is it paining?” asked Sanskar. “You are really impossible Sanki” said she and walked from there furiously. “What did I do now?” asked he following her.
“Anjali beta” said Sakshi entering Kishan’s house. “Arrey doctor Sakshi” said Ragini standing in front of her. “Arrey Ragini, Sanskar. You both here?” asked she confused. “Maa” said Kishan’s wife coming to the hall. “Arrey Anju you remember I used to tell you about a couple who used to come to my clinic. These only” said she clearing the doubts. “She is your daughter?” asked Ragini and Sakshi nodded her head. “She is my husband’s elder brother’s daughter.
We did not had kids. She did not had parents so we completed each other. When you told your story I felt I’m seeing myself in you that day” said Sakshi caressing her cheek. Ragini again felt dizzy and Sanskar held her. “Bandariya can’t you be careful just now you fainted and you were saying you are having stomach pain also” said Sanskar worried. “Who faints due to stomach pain?” asked Sakshi surprised. “He is mental. I’m trying to tell him that I’m pregnant he is not understanding only” said Ragini annoyed. “So does that mean you to be careless…
Never will you leave a chance to prove yourself bandariya” said Sanskar annoyed. “Impossible you are” said Ragini and stormed from there. “What did I do now?” he asked annoyed. “She is right about you. Tubelight you are” said Sakshi nodding her head smiling. “OMG Ragu” screamed Sanskar running behind her as he understood what exactly is happening. “Beautiful couple” said Anjali placing her head on Sakshi’s shoulder and she cupped her face. “Annn Anju” said Kishan and both of them turned to him. He moved his hand slowly and it changed it’s shape. Anjali smiled and entered his room and sat in front of him. “Now I will try more to get you back to normal Kishan” she said and kissed his forehead and he smiled looking at her. Sakshi wiped her tears looking at them. She neared the door and found Sanskar lifting Ragini and twirling her. And she screaming to put her down
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“Sanki” said Ragini when he was caressing her hair when she placed her head on his chest. “Hmm Bandariya” said he. “You did not tell me how you know to plait the Saree” said Ragini complaining. “I told you that day only” said he casually. “That’s not fair. I want to know please” said Ragini. “Okay I will tell you meri maa. I missed fulfilling your cravings last time and I won’t miss it this time” said he and dragged her close to him and she cuddled in his hold. “Actually when Ansh was in Pari Bhabi’s womb we had organized her Godh Bharai function in our house. And men were not allowed inside the function they can only sit outside and wait for the function to get over. But Adarsh bhai wanted to attend it and even I wanted to know what they do in the function” said Sanskar looking at Ragini. “Then?” said Ragini placing her hand on his chest.
“Then Dayal uncle came to our rescue. He said he knows to plait the saree” said he and Ragini interrupted him asking “How does poppy knew?” “Wait na Bandariya I’m telling na. Dayal uncle had learnt to plait saree to Kavya when she was in kindergarten as she was participating in fancy dress compitition. So he taught us to plait it and we attended the godh bharai function without anybody’s knowledge” said Sanskar and chuckled. “Oh” said Ragini surprised. “But that day you told something else na” said she. “That was just to confuse you. Who will say this much Ram Kahani to your newly wedded wife” said he and kissed her forehead. She smiled and hugged him and he placed his chin on her head and closed his eyes. Finally he could smile, he could cry, he could love her and other than that he never wished anything else.
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“Life never gives you chances. You have to give chances to your life. Love is unpredictable but it is the most powerful emotion in the world which can win over hatred. When someone hurts and destroys your life still you should give a chance to them when they want to repent for their sins. Guilt might be the heaviest thing to carry but forgiveness is equally most difficult decision. It is hard to come out of that memory which snatched everything from you. But love can bring you out of it. Sanskar’s love brought my chotu out of it. My chotu’s love for me made her to take the most difficult decision of her life. And I’m the most happiest person due to it. Now I can peacefully join my dad who is enjoying his life in heaven. Bye chotu, bye chipkali, bye mumma. I love you all” said Vikram and walked backward and disappeared in the stars with a bright smile.
*********************************THE END**************************************