Guilt ( A RagSan FF) Chapter 36

“Chachu” said Ansh sitting beside Sanskar on his bed. Sanskar picked him in his arms and made him sit on his lap. “Why did you let her go when you can’t even live without her for one hour also” said Ansh encircling his little hands across Sanskar’s neck. Sanskar smiled and touched Ansh’s cheek. “Sometimes we cannot control our life Ansh. We have to obey to the time” said Sanskar. “Means?” asked Ansh. “Means your mumma is like a innocent sunlight of a winter morning. Everyone needs her. I cannot always tie her to myself” said Sanskar looking at the window. “Take this” said Ansh forwarding Anapurna’s phone. “Why is this for?” asked Sanskar confused. “Arrey mere duffer chachu” said Ansh unlocking Anu’s phone and showing something. Sanskar’s eyes gleamed with happiness. It was Ragini’s photo with Ananya in her wedding dress. They did not had a normal wedding though. How much he wished to capture her beautiful face that day but he couldn’t. Ansh had clicked the photo after Ragini’s grah pravesh with Annapurna’s phone. Sanskar grabbed the phone and kissed Ansh’s cheek. “Ansh come on sleeping time” called Anu. “Aaya dadi” screeched Ansh and ran out of Sanskar’s room. Sanskar caressed Ragini’s face. Her twinkling eyes, beautiful smile made his heart jump with happiness. He neared the window looking at the sky.

Sanskar looked at the sky and felt Ragini’s presence and smiled

Un Paarvai Pothum Vaanam Mele
Nilavu Thaevai Illai
(Your appearance is enough sky doesn’t need the moon)

He remembered Ragini’s fragrance taking a deep breath closing his eyes
Un Vaasam Pothum Bhoomi Engum
Pookal Thaevai Illai
(Your fragrance is enough the world doesn’t need flowers at all)

Anbe Anbe En Kannil Vizhunthaai (My love why did you came in my eyes)
He remembered how he saw her for the first time

Anbe Anbe En Nenjil Nuzhainthaai (My love why did you entered my heart)
He remembered how he confessed his love and their close moments

Anbe Anbe En Vittu Pirinthaai (My love why did you leave me and go)
He remembered Ragini going away from him

Anbe Anbe Puyal Pole Kadanthaai
(Why did you passed like a storm)
He closed his eyes remembering her rage and her love and her struggle and closed his eyes letting the hot tears flow from his eyes. Cool breeze was tickling his skin.

“I love you Sanskar. I really do” Ragini’s words ringed in his mind.
“I love you Ragini. I love you too. But I can’t accept it because I can’t live without you. I’m scared to lose you. I’m scared to express my love which can take your life. There will be no person with such bad fate in the world (Mujhse badnaseeb insan koi nahi hai)” he slid down the window and sobbed holding the wall.
­­­­­­­­­­­-­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­__________________________x_____________________________________
“Ragu what happened?” asked Swara to Ragini who got up with a jerk from Swara’s lap. She was breathing heavily and sweating very badly. “I’m feeling restless dee. I don’t know why I feel something is wrong. I want to talk to Sanskar” said she getting up from her bed and dialed Sanskar’s number. His phone was silently ringing on the bed. “Why is this Idiot not picking the call. Kumbakaran, gadha” said she walking across her room. Swara chuckled looking at her. “Better I call maa” said Ragini and dialed other number. As she heard the ring her heart started sinking. Anu’s phone in Sanskar’s hand ringed. He jerked and looked at it and found Ragini calling. He received the call. Before he could say hello Ragini spoke from the other side “Maa. Is everything fine there. Can you please check on Sanskar once. I’m feeling restless” “Oye Rajdhani express relax” said Sanskar controlling his cry. But it was late Ragini had already sensed it. “Sanki are you okay. Why do I feel your crying” asked Ragini. Sanskar’s eyebrows shrank and he suppressed his cry by pursing his lips tightly. “Ohho bandariya why will I cry. I’m partying here” said Sanskar trying to smile. “You don’t even know to lie properly. Can’t you simply admit that you are missing me already” thought Ragini in her mind and a tear dropped from her eye. “Okay khadoos. Good night” said Ragini. “Listen” said Sanskar stopping her. He did not wanted her to disconnect the call. “Hmmm” said Ragini. “Ani was missing you. Even Ansh and maa also. But I did not miss you ok. I did not miss you” said Sanskar and touched the wall with his head. “I know” said Ragini wiping the tear at corner of her eye. “You knew I will not miss you?” asked Sanskar surprised. “Haa Sanki insaan” said Ragini. “Haww” said Swara opening her mouth. Ragini bit her tongue and lowered her head blushing. “Don’t you call me that Bandariya” said Sanskar annoyed. “I will call. what will you do?” asked Ragini making her shoulders a bit up feeling proud. “I’m warning you Bandariya don’t you dare to call me that” he said in warning tone. “I’m not scared of you Phattu Maheshwari. Go and sleep now. Good night” Said Ragini disconnecting the call. Swara was looking at her shocked. “Dee?”said Ragini shaking her. “Ragu is that the way to address your husband?” asked Swara. “Husband? Who?” asked Ragini. “Oye Sanskar” said Swara slightly hitting Ragini’s head. “Ohhh ya. I sometimes forget that he is my husband” said Ragini biting her tongue. Swara nodded her head and said “Come now sleep” said she dragging Ragini to the bed.
______________________________x_________________________________________
“Ragini…. Ragini…….” Ragini heard someone whispering her name and slightly opened her eyes. “Oye Bandariya” she heard someone whispering. She opened her eyes and found Sanskar peeping from the window. She got up with a jerk and screamed “Sanki” “What happened Ragu” said Swara who got up with a jerk due to Ragini’s scream. Sanskar immediately hid behind the wall. “Wo kuch nahi Shona dee just bad dream” said Ragini nervous. “Oh God sleep now” said Swara dragging her back to the bed. “Dee I’m feeling thirsty I will drink water and come” said Ragini nervous. “Ragu. Water is there in jug only” said Swara pointing to the jug with closed eyes. “Dee wo I need cold water. I will just come” said Ragini and headed to kitchen. She opened the window of the kitchen which was near to the window of their room. She bent out and called Sanskar. Sanskar bent near the room window so that Swara doesn’t see him and headed to the kitchen window slowly. He climbed the window and entered the kitchen. Ragini looked around if any of her neighbor watched him and closed the window and turned to Sanskar and folded her hands and glared him. “What?” asked Sanskar. “You are asking me? You came to my home at this time like a thief and asking me only what?” asked she waving her hands in air. “Who told you to call me phattu?” asked Sanskar pouting. “That’s what you are. Phattu phattu phattu” said Ragini teasing him. Sanskar held her elbow and dragged her close to him. Ragini’s eye balls were moving with nervousness due to Sanskar’s shocking move. “Am I phattu?” asked Sanskar nearing her face more. “You are” said Ragini. Sanskar kissed her ear and asked “Am I?” Ragini felt week in her knees. She closed her eyes and nodded her head. Sanskar touched his cheek with Ragini’s cheek tickling her. Ragini held his shirt tightly. “Am I?” asked Sanskar. “Hmmm” said Ragini losing herself in his sensuous touch. He dragged her more close, now her thumping her could be felt on his chest. Sanskar encircled his hand around her waist. He brushed his lips on her neck and shoulder. She turned her face to the other side and blushed. “Am I?” asked he again. Ragini hugged him immediately not able to control her feelings. “You will call me that again?” asked he bringing her out of the hug. “Yes pha…” before she could complete, Sanskar’s rough lips locked her soft lips and he dragged her more close holding her waist. She opened her eyes shocked. But after recollecting herself she closed her eyes and her hands traveled over his neck and hairs which excited Sanskar who dragged her more close to him.

“Ladooo” called Sumi and Ragini opened her eyes and looked around and found herself on the bed. She closed her eyes and opened again to grasp the difference between her beautiful dream and reality.
___________________________________x________________________________
I actually wanted to use a hindi song so that maximum people can connect to it. But this song is like my soul so I felt this will describe Sanky’s plight more precisely. Most of the south Indians might have heard this song but whoever have not heard it you can hear here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NcJo-x6li74. Duh I did so much of research to provide a apt translation for it. If it is not correct my dear Tamil friends please let me know. After I placed the song I could not think of a alternate hindi song for it so you can imagine the song you like and please do comment it so that I can keep it in mind for future. And I don’t know how many of you found Ragini’s confession apt for the time. Initially I planned her to make confess after she discovers the truth but that will look like she felt pity on Sanskar and confessed so I brought some other situations to make her confess. Hope you liked it.