Part 13:
When Chandni reached to her room she locked herself in, sitting on the edge of her bed she broke down into tears, she didn’t know why but she was feeling his pain and it was giving her heartache. “Why it all has to be so difficult and complicated, why I was feeling bad for his pain and injury? It would be a blessing if I don’t feel anything hurtful at all” she thought to herself. “But why he is putting himself in so much pain? If he is a monster and a heartless person why he keeps on punishing himself like that? What if he is really regretting for what he did to me and wants to do the repentance for his sin? But is he trustworthy? What if all this is just a show, pretence? What if he is doing all this to make himself forgivable in Naani’s eyes and he hasn’t even an ounce of regret for what he did to me?” she thought to herself as she was still finding it hard to believe him and on top of all she was confused over her feelings for Advay.
(Guys this song is to show feelings of Advay and Chandni as well. I just thought that it perfectly suits the situation they both are in now)
“Die For You” by Starset
“I will run alone tonight
Without you by my side
I guess you had a place you had to get to
I know your eyes
I know inside
The walls you hide behind
And I saw the truth inside the real you
Because I know you’re lost when you run away
Into the same black holes and black mistakes
Taking all my will just to run alone
When are you coming home?” While in the study Advay was now finding it difficult to breathe, he felt like the walls of his house are constricting and there is no air left for him here “I need to go out, I cannot stay here” he thought while struggling to get himself on his feet he was gasping for air. When he was finally able to stand on his feet he was feeling tremors in his legs as if he wouldn’t be able to stand for long or to walk properly.
“Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
There’s no pain that I won’t go through
Even if I have to die for you
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There’s no thing that I won’t go through
Even if I have to die for you” Somehow he started to drag himself towards the door and the moment he reached the door and opened it dizziness took over him and his legs weren’t able to carry his weight, he fell on the floor hitting his head at the exact spot where Chandni had hit him and the blood started oozing out of the wound. He drifted away into oblivion where there was no pain, no guilt, no shame, no hate for him to find in Chandni’s eyes, nothing at all that’s right he got what he needed right now nothingness.
“One day the earth will open wide
And I’ll follow you inside
Cause the only hell I know is without you
Some day when galaxies collide
We’ll be lost on different skies
I will send my rocket ship to find you
Because I know you’re lost when you run away
Into the same black holes and black mistakes
Taking all my will just to run alone
Until I bring you home” On the other hand in Chandni’s room she had a continuous gut feeling that something had gone wrong as something was tugging at her heart, she was ill at ease from the moment she left Advay alone in the study under the effect of alcohol with a deeply wounded hand. She was trying to sleep but she was feeling that her sleep was miles away from her. She continued turning and tossing into her bed but it seemed as if her sleep has evaded her.
“Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
There’s no pain that I won’t go through
Even if I have to die for you
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There’s no thing that I won’t go through
Even if I have to die for you” “Why I am feeling so restless? Why I am so worried about him? Should I go and check on him? Yeah, I think I should do that” with this Chandni got up from her bed and went towards the study but the next sight for her was enough to stop her heart for a moment. She saw him unconscious on the floor half outside the study door and there was blood gushing out from his wound on the forehead. She almost ran towards him, sitting on the floor next to him Chandni lifted his head and placed it in her lap; she quickly tied her duppatta on his wound to stop the blood from flowing while she was ignorant to the fact that her own eyes were once again flooded with tears at Advay’s suffering.
“And if the sun grows cold for you along the way
And if the stars don’t line to light the way
And when you fall away and crash back down below
I’ll search the skies for you and I’ll follow
I’ll be in your afterglow
And I’ll bring you home” She then very gently placed his head on the floor only to wash his wound with cold water and change the bandage. “Advay” she sprinkled some water drops on his face hoping that he might come to consciousness. “Advay please wake up” she gently patted his face again while her tears were falling on his face as if they were his tears. “Advay” she tried to bring him to consciousness again “hmm” she heard him moaning in pain, he was slowly opening his eyes and Chandni let out a sigh of relief knowing that he was waking up now.
“Even if the sky does fall
Even if they take it all
I can’t see but I’ll follow you
Even if I’d die…
And when all the fires burn
When everything is overturning
There’s nothing that I won’t go through
Even if I have to die for you” When Advay opened his eyes he saw Chandni’s angelic face hovering over him but he was unable to make sense of anything right now, the effect of whiskey had numbed his senses, “Advay come on get up, you need to lie on your bed and rest, you are not well” Chandni told him softly “hmm, what?” he narrowed his gaze to focus on her face as everything was a blur for him. Chandni helped him to get on his feet but he was still stumbling. She put her arm around his waist and placed his arm on her shoulders “Advay you need to walk slowly, don’t worry I’ve got you, I’ll take you to your room okay” Chandni ensured him to trust her “Chandni” he called out to her but she wasn’t sure whether it was a question or he was surprised that she was helping him “don’t… don’t hel… help me… I’m… I’m an evil… evil person… don’t forget… forget that… that I destroyed you…” he finished stammering and tried to wriggle away from her hold, tears were glistening in her eyes, she didn’t know why but his pain was giving her immense heartache “Advay enough with your stubbornness, now stop fighting me and let me take you to your room, you need rest” she told him strictly. “No… why… why you don’t… why you don’t understand… I don’t deserve to be helped…. I don’t… I don’t deserve to be saved… I’m a hideous monster…. I’m… I’m a poison who will only ruin you…. I’ll… I’ll only give you pain and… and I’ll let you down” he finished while tears were falling from his eyes which were already swollen and blood-red.