“I’m messed up, man.” Ragini giggled, looking at Sanskar with her big brown eyes. ” I’m so f–”
“You’re drunk, Ragini. Get up, I’ll take you home.” Sanskar tried to help her up from the corner she had collapsed in earlier.
Ragini laughed out loud, continuing to just look at him. “I’m not drunk, love. I’m wasted… completely and utterly wasted.” Eventually she let herself be dragged up, and wrapped her arms around his neck.
Sanskar took a deep breath , slid his arms under her knees, and picked her up. He hated seeing her like this, and knowing he was the reason for her pain made it that much worse.
Ragini rested her head on his shoulders, held on to him like her life depended on it. Maybe it did… Ragini sighed, she was supposed to be drunk, and wasted, beyond normal thoughts and all this pain. Her heart clenched, and she tightened her arms around Sanskar even more.
Sanskar felt her arms tighten around his neck, and cradled her closer to his heart. “Ragini…” He softly mumbled, pulling away a little bit to look at her face. “Ragini…” Their eyes met, and that was that… no words were needed. Their eyes spoke volumes of love that was so much more than either of them had ever imagined.
It had seemed like only yesterday they had met at a party, and the next thing they knew they had mover in together, and Sanskar had entered her life with a promise to stay there forever. If only forever lasted… “Forever” had turned into three years: three years of bliss, of love, of a never ending fun bickering, and of passion.
Ragini’s eyes teared up as she saw the hunger, and passion in his eyes that he had done his best to hide from her for the past two months. She took a shuddering breath, and looked away.
Sanskar softly placed Ragini in the passenger seat of his car, buckled her up, and walked to the other side to get on the driver’s seat. Ragini leaned against the seat and closed her eyes as she thought about the conversation she had had with Sanskar’s mother, almost six months back.
With a simple “Ragini I know you and Sanskar love each other very much. But…”, she had tried to convince Ragini that they were not meant for each other. It had not worked, Ragini had talked to Sanskar about it, and Sanskar had made it clear to his mom that Ragini was the only one for him, the only girl he would ever love, and marry.
However, everything had changed, their relationship had become strained. Their bickering had turned into full fledged arguments, and their passion had not been enough. They had also started to doubt their love for each other, thanks to his mom.
Sanskar stopped at the stop light and glanced at Ragini’s face, his heart clenched when he saw the silent tears falling down her eyes. He hated that more than anything in the world. Unlike other females he had known, his mother included, Ragini never made a fuss when she cried, not even a sound. She cried quietly, away from the world. She had once told him that she considered tears to be a sign of strength, of acceptance than we are just human, but if seen by the wrong person, it can be the biggest weakness. She had said that she had been hurt too many times because of this “weakness” so she’d rather not share it with anyone.
He though back to about six months back also, when their relationship had started deteriorating because of his mom. To add insult to injury, she had asked them to go to Swara, his childhood friend, for a few days. Swara had succeeded in what his mother had failed: show Ragini that Sanskar deserved someone better than her, and she was only getting in the way. One day suddenly, Sanskar had returned home to find it strangely void of Ragini’s presence, and stuff.
Ragini jerked back into reality, when Sanskar stomped on the brakes to stop the car. Ragini blinked rapidly, her mind a fuzzy mess, and her heart heavy with pent up emotions. She looked around, and frowned. This was definitely, not her home. She realized Sanskar had probably taken a detour and had stopped for some reason. She looked at Sanskar to find him clenching the steering wheel on the car, his knuckles white with the strength of his grip. She watched his face with love, and longing. She wanted to do nothing but wrap her arms around him and hold him close, tell him she loved him beyond reason, and let herself be wrapped in the warmth of his love as well.
Reluctantly she placed a hand on his shoulder, bringing him back to reality. She gasped softly at the look in his eyes… there was so much anger.
“I can’t do this Ragini.” Sanskar said through gritted teeth. He punched the steering wheel, “I can’t do it… you can’t make me.” Angrily, he opened the door and walked out.
Ragini watched Sanskar move away from the car, and punch a tree. She shuddered slightly, remembering the last time he had been that angry. She blushed at the thought, and was embarrassed that it could still arouse her so much. She watched his body tense up with all the tension, and pent up anger.
Sanskar heard Ragini get out of the car, tensed up even more. He was so mad… so very mad. How dare she think she could blackmail him into leaving her? Who the hell said she was not good enough for him? In fact, he was pretty sure he didn’t deserve her instead. But that was not the point. The point was that it was obvious they both loved each other beyond reason, beyond their wildest imaginations… so who the hell was she to make the decision of when it was wise to break up? Damn her, Damn his mother, Damn Swara! Damn all women to hell!
When he felt Ragini’s arm on his shoulder, Sanskar turned around and gripped her arms angrily, “Why?! Kyon Ragini? Why are you so set on giving me what I
“deserve” than what I want? And you know…. YOU KNOW that I want nothing more than to have you… to love you, marry you, spend the rest of my life with YOU! YOU, dammit, I WANT YOU!!” with that, without giving Ragini a chance to reply, Sanskar kissed her.
Ragini knew he was punishing her, with his lips, with his tongue, with his entire body. But God knew, she would give up anything to be punished like this every day. She sighed against his lips, kissing him back with the same passion.
Sanskar knew he was supposed to be angry, that this had started in anger, but… He gentled his kiss. Instead of assaulting her mouth, he pressed soft, gentle kisses.
Ragini felt the change in his kiss, and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him back.
Suddenly, Sanskar pulled away, his anger coming back in full swing, his hands that were now holding her by the waist pulled her closer to him, making her body plaster to him from top to bottom. He wanted to hurt her, he wanted to make love to her, he wanted to kiss her senseless, he wanted to shake her until she could no longer think… over all, he just wanted to love her.
“THIS is what you are throwing away, Ragini.” Sanskar whispered angrily, his lips centimeters away from hers.
“She loves you, Sanskar.” Ragini whispered back, the tears she had dismissed earlier, came back with a vengence. “She is everything you have ever wanted. She is the perfect hindustani bahu.” She closed her eyes, and tried to stop a shuddering sob, “You have to understand Aunty’s position, Sanskar. You are her only son, her one and only son. She doesn’t want a… a… loose woman–”
“Don’t you dare!” Sanskar ground out, kissing her breathless. “Don’t you dare go putting yourself down again! You are you. Loose woman, or hindustani bahu, I don’t freaking care.” Sanskar took one of his hands and cupped her face, “I love you, dammit!” He touched his forehead to hers. “I love you. I love you so much, it hurts.”
Ragini, not being able to stop herself hugged him tightly, loving him, crying for them. “You are getting married tomorrow, Sanskar.” She mumbled. She couldn’t do this. She could let this wonderful bloke, this amazing guy get away. He was hers, and she was his. It was fate, it was destiny. So who the hell was she to fight that? She needed him, more than anything in the world. She NEEDED him.
“Yes I am… to you.” Sanskar pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. “WE are getting married tomorrow.”
Three hours later,
Ragini rested her head on Sanskar’s bare chest, and closed her eyes with a sigh when he placed a kiss on her forehead. She cuddled up to him, and felt at peace for the first time in months. This was her Sanskar, her life, her love. She smiled dreamily at how they had raced home, and made love.
“Mine.” Sanskar mumbled, holding her tight.
Ragini raised herself up on her elbows, and looked at Sanskar. “I am yours. Always, and forever.” She leaned in, and kissed him, “Are you sure you want to marry me?”
Sanskar pulled her on top of him, and cupped her face with both hands, pushing her hair back so he can look directly into her eyes. “I love you. I am absolutely sure I want to marry you.”
“Even if you will probably have to cook for the rest of you life?” Ragini teased.
“Even if I have order food from a restaurant for the rest of my life.” Sanskar countered, with a grin.
“I can never do the whole perfect indian bride thing.” Ragini said softly, a little sadly. “I like independence, I like partying, I like being crazy.” She rested her head on his chest again, “I will never lie to you and say I have never done anything wrong. There are a million things I have done that I wish I hadn’t, and a million things I wish I could have done. I don’t believe in God, or religion. I cannot cook for the life of me, and I hate cleaning things. Like I said earlier, I am messed up Sanskar… really f-ed up.”
“But you love me… and I love you. That’s all that matters.” Sanskar slowly rubbed his arms up and down her back, soothing her.
“You say that now… but what if somewhere down the road you feel–”
We’ll cross the bridge when we get there.” Sanskar replied, interrupting her neatly. Then suddenly he rolled over and pinned Ragini under him, “As for now, let me drive all those doubts away, and love you until you can’t think of anything but me, and how much I love you.”
With a giggle, Ragini arched into his touch and forgot the world, loosing herself in his love, in his heart, in his touch.
Ragini often used to tell Sanskar that she did not believe in happily ever afters. Life was tough, and it was hard to be happy in a moment, so a lifetime of happiness was a long shot. She only wanted those little moments of happiness in a contented, crazy, fun-filled life, where she could share her life with the people she loved most in the world: her husband, and her kids.
Ragini refused to admit her life really had one of those “happily ever after” ending, but she knew she got what she wanted most in life: Sanskar, and their two precious children, Khusboo and Khushi.
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This story was supposed to be a full fledged 8-10 chapter story, but if I start it, I cannot promise to end it, so I decided to make it into a short story so that’s what I did. I hope you guys liked it. If so then please hit like button and do leave your comments. And please guys don’t ask me to write Saadi Love Story, because my cousin is getting married in couple weeks, so I’m little busy. Hope u guys will understand. But I’ll try my best to update next week… koi pakka promise nahi:)
Take care guys, stay happy, stay healthy. stay busy, stay loved, stay blessed, keep shinning, keep smiling & you guys are beautiful the way you’re….be yourself!!!!