do i deserved to be loved? — chapter 1

gauri: maa. where are you? this man is saying I am his daughter!

amoli: gauri, I am right here. this man is….

a car hit her before she could complete.

gauri: maa!!

aman: amoli!!

gauri gets out of aman’s grip and runs to amoli’s body.

gauri: maa, wake up. wake up maa. maa, wake up and I promise that I will never sing again! wake up!! MAA!

aman runs to gauri and amoli. he lifts amoli in bridal style and rushes with gauri to hospital.

hospital:

gauri: bhagwan, save meri maa. I don’t want her to leave me. she is all that I have. I promise that I will never sing again. just save maa. please bhagwan!! save maa.

aman: relax gauri. your maa will live.

gauri: I hope so.

the doctor came out and said: I am very sorry but she only has two minute to live. the car hit her as such that she has lost a lot of blood and her brain is badly damaged.

gauri rushed into amoli’s room and says: maa… maa… I am sorry for everything maa.. why are you leaving me? I love you maa… don’t leave me.. aisi maat karo please!

amoli: beta, I love you a lot but god is calling me.

aman came in crying.

amoli: and gauri… this…this is your papa.

gauri: meri papa?

amoli: yes. he will love you forever. I love you aman. I love you gauri.

she kisses her forehead and then her eyes closed forever and ever.

gauri: MAA!!!

her final rites:

gauri: no don’t burn maa. she is still alive I know she is.

aman: no gauri, she isn’t. she has gone to god forever.

gauri cries and sings one last time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FpoD4CGYj94

(that is the song she sings)

they lifted amoli’s body up and placed it on the pyre. as they kept wood on her, gauri cried and yelled: NO! MERI MAA ISN’T DEAD!! SHE ISN’T!!!

soon the body was about to be burn but before the priest could, gauri held it.

gauri: I will do it. yeh meri maa hai!!

she held the burning stick and slowly walked to burnt the pyre crying.

gauri: I LOVE YOU A LOT MAA! I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!!

gauri’s POV:

I was only six when my mum left the world and in care of this strange man who is my father according to her. he took me to his house when he already had two children and a wife. his wife yelled at both him and me. saying that I am not her daughter and she will never accept me. her two children hate me. they would beat me up and say hurtful things to me.

the society we lived in refused to accept me. they called me illegitimate and once covered my face with charcoal because I am a black mark to society.

my dad died of a sudden heart attack when I was seven and since then I was always alone despite living with many people. my dad’s first wife children, anika and Roshni hate me to the core. and their mother, ulka mam treats me like a servant. she hates me. she never gave me an education.

growing up, questions started to dance in my head.

who am I?

why did maa leave me?

but one question which stands out is do I deserved to be loved?

ulka mam once said to me that I would be a mistress like my maa was. I punched her in the stomach when she said that and then she turned more hateful towards me along with her daughters.

I won’t be a mistress!

my mum was never a mistress!

now I am 15. it’s been nine years since my life has changed forever. I have sell duapattas which I hand stitched for a living. is this really my life?

who am I?

will I be a mistress?

my identity?

do I deserve to die?

do I deserve to be loved?