Hi every one…
Sameer repeated his question.
Sameer: Naina? Answer me..
I turned to the other side.
Sameer: Oh.. I understand.
I look at him.
Sameer: You don’t like me messaging you. But you can’t tell it. I can understand.
Me: No Sameer
Sameer: No Naina. You don’t need to explain. I am sorry. I won’t disturb you anymore.
Sameer walked away from there. I tried to call him, but Swati came there looking for me as it was time for our lecture.
I don’t even hear a word what professors teach that afternoon. Of course I was physically present in the class, but my mind was not there. My mind was still in the library where Sameer and I were talking. I was telling him that I like when he message me. But…
Even after reaching hostel I was upset. I was upset because Sameer was upset. Because Sameer told that he won’t message me anymore. I really want him to keep messaging me. My mind questioned me “Really Naina? If you want him to message you so badly, why don’t you say so?” I want to, I want to tell him but… “But what?? Naina, I don’t think he will message you anymore.” My mind was torturing me. I was so mad at myself. But all my feelings were useless as I was the one behind all this.
Sameer don’t message me as he told. He kept his word. And that night I cry to sleep. My pillows were wet.
Next day morning.
Shefali: Naina, what happen? You don’t look fine.
Me: no I am fine.
Shefali: But your eyes are red. Do you have fever?
Me: No. Just a head ache.
Shefali: Do you want to come to college today? I think you should take rest.
Me: No I am coming I don’t want to miss my lectures.
Shefali: Ok. But it gets worse. Take leave ok?
I nodded.
Me: Ok.
Till I leave for college I kept checking my mobile every two minutes. But Sameer don’t message.
During the noon break time, I even went to Shefali’s class room. I want to see Sameer. I was not brave enough to talk to him there, but I feel I have to see him. I don’t know what I will get by that. But my desire to meet him was so strong that I went to Shefali’s class without thinking anything more.
But I don’t see Sameer anywhere there. My eyes searched for him but…
Shefali: Naina? What are you doing here? Who are you looking for?
Me: I was looking for you who else.
Shefali: What happen?
Me: Nothing just that I am going to hostel. I don’t feel well.
Shefali: Oh okk.. Do you want me to come with you?
Me: No, Swati and Preeti will come with me. I came to inform you.
Shefali: Ok then. Take rest.
Preeti and Swati came with me to hostel. We have lunch together in the hostel mess. After that they left for the college so they don’t miss the class.
I came back to my room. Change my uniform and lay on the bed. I made an excuse of head ache and came to hostel, but why? Why did I do that? I don’t know. What was I planning to do; the answer was I don’t know again. I tossed and turned the whole afternoon. And it was in the evening I got a solution to what to do. Yes a stupid solution.
I sent a blank message to his number. Really Naina! Blank message!! Ya, I know it was stupid but. Stupid? Stupid will be an easy word to explain that. What was I thinking?? Oops I was not thinking if I was thinking I haven’t done that that…
And to add the cherry on cake I waited for his reply. Reply to a blank message. I have lost it completely.
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Shefali was in pretty good mood when she came back from college. She was even late than our usual time.
Shefali: Naina, how do you feel now?
“Worse..” I murmured to myself.
Shefali: What?
Me: better.
Shefali: Ok. I will change and come.
Me: ok.
I sat on my bed. It has been hours and I destroyed a day and night on this. Still I couldn’t find out what to do.
Shefali: What are you thinking?
Me: You are late today.
Shefali: (with a smile) yeah!
Me: And you are smiling?
Shefali: I was talking with Arjun.
Me: OH! At college??
Shefali: Yaa. And he walks me to the hostel.
Me: Oh MY God. What if someone see you together?
Shefali: So what?
Me: Aren’t you afraid?
Shefali: Why should I? I am not doing anything wrong na.
Me: but still..
Shefali: Chill yar. Haven’t you heard “pyar kiya to darna kya”
Even though I have heard that before, that moment I understand what that really means. Even if I wasn’t sure about my feelings for Sameer, I think I shouldn’t be afraid anymore.
Me: Shefali, I will come now.
Shefali: where are you going?
Me: Just to the terrace. I will be back in five mins ok?
Shefali: Ok.
I ran upstairs. I don’t know why I ran. I should have walked, but I ran. The terrace was empty. Usually we only use terrace only on Sundays for drying our clothes. Evening was beautiful to watch from the terrace, but mosquitos won’t allow us to enjoy the beauty. But I needed the privacy of this open space.
I dialed Sameers number.