Chapter-3 [my idiot Neil]
It was early morning. The climate was not too hot surprisingly for the month of July in the city of Mumbai. Sam couldn’t believe that she actually ran to a guy’s house in the dawn. She was so on boarded that she didn’t care to take her car. On the flick of adrenaline, rush she ran out of door to her destination. After running like an idiot for like five minutes she got her sense back. She realised that she was creating a fool of an example out of herself. She cursed herself but luckily got a taxi. She asked the taxi to take her to Arjun’s house.
Now after 1 hour of confrontation, secretes, tears, curse, blames, confessions Sam came out of his house. She should be feeling pain of the betrayal then. The pain which was caused by her dear father. She should be hurt by the adultery of her father which she came to know just recently but she was not. She was hurt but she was not feeling the pain. she was not feeling pain even after knowing her father cheated on them, she was not feeling pain even after knowing that she had been a pawn to slay for petty revenge. She was not feeling pain even after knowing that her ex fiancé was just using her. She was not feeling pain even after knowing that the story which she mistaken as fairytale was actually just a mirage. She was not actually numb to feel pain. No she was not numb today. She never felt more alive. She was just eager for something. She has to reach to her paradise like she promised.
Sam was running. No she felt like she was flying. Yes flying like a free soul. She hasn’t felt like that for a long while. She was free from the cold desire of lust. The lust which was created from stubborn demand. The lust which was created from envy. Which was eating her heart away. Turning her world into a dark abyss. Void from any form of light. Still a light of wisdom somehow manage to pass through the cracks in her heart. The light, her sunshine. She didn’t appreciate the light before. Because that light was too bright. It used burn her eyes and forced her to look at her mirror image which she couldn’t recognise. She couldn’t imagine that her image could be so ugly. So she avoided the light for too long. She tried her best to change the warmth of the light into bitter cold like December but she failed. Her darkness loosed to that light.
Today she left all her darkness behind. Now she is ready to reach for the hand that kept lend towards her from the light. She is just one-step behind to take the step.
She ran from Arjun’s house to the taxi stand. She was frustrated that there was no ride. One of the politician party announced strike that day while the leading party opposed it and made all clear that if any worker join the strike with the opposing party then their salary won’t be count for the day. So there was hand pick number of rides on the road. Maximum rides were nowhere to be seen in the fear of outrage of Politian party. They cannot bear any damage to their cars but the passengers were rushing around frantically in the search of ride as they have to give attendance before they are marked as absents in the register.
Sam got fed up and started walking. But again she was lucky. She somehow managed to get a taxi again. She gave the driver the address of a very familiar apartment. After she sat in the backseat of taxi she let out a sigh. She relaxed her aching back and closed her eyes. All the event of passed few hours replayed in her head. She slide down the glass window of the taxi and felt the gentle breeze. She smile dreamily
Flashback
“Sam, you loved a poisonous man, who wanted to poison your very existence.” Arjun said. His voice was not as confidant as always. His voice is strained and tired.
Sam looked blankly at him. “No you are wrong. It is not possible. I never fell for the poisonous man.” She smiled dreamily. A face as bright as sunshine appeared in her mind. “I fell in love with the man who can engulf all the poison but would never spit out any venom.”
Arjun looked up in her eyes and smiled. “yes you are right.”
“and you too, Arjun” sam smiled in return.
“me what?” Arjun was confused.
“felt for a girl who got the ability to drink your poison” Arjun stared blankly at sam’s words. “bring her back Arjun, don’t let her go. God only made one chasni like he made only one neil for me”. Sam said.
“Neil huh? Not idiot?” Arjun smiled.
Sam smiled back “my idiot Neil.”
End of flashback.
She didn’t realise that the taxi is already in front of his apartment. She gave the driver some bills and ran up the stairs. She was so excited yet nervous that she could hear her heartbeat.
She rang the bell and instantly it was openly with great force
“i knew you would change your mind. You just can’t lea…Sam …where is Neil.” A female voice asked.
Sam was confused and didn’t know what to say…”Prerna aunty…i don’t know..i mean i came here looking for him. Where is he?” Sam asked.
Prerna looked at her eyes and the looked away “left.”
Sam was shocked “left…? what do you mean by left? Where is he?”
“Don’t you understand? He left. He is going to leave this town and i don’t know where he is going. He said he will call and tell me about his whereabouts once he find a place where he can breathe freely again.” Prerna shouted back.
Tears roll down sam’s face… “no…no he can’t go. He just can’t leave like this. At least not now.”
Prerna looked at her with pity “so bring him back. Just go and bring my son back.”
Sam rubbed her tears with determination “how?” she asked.
“i don’t know. You know that.” Prerna said “try to find in xxx bas stop. I hope you can still catch him.”
She didn’t require repetition, she ran down the stair in search of a rides to catch Neil in time.
This time she was not that lucky. She started running to the bus stop as she couldn’t find any ride.
Sam’s pov
Why? Why could not you wait? You waited for so long so why could not you wait few more minutes. Then also i am in no position to demand. I am at fault and i am repaying right now. Please Neil. Please don’t leave me alone.
I need you.
I really need you near me to
Keep my mind off the edge
i know i let the precious thing of mine to slip through my fingers.
It’s you.
You are the best thing, that’s ever been mine
I never knew that you could mean so much, so much.
But now
i wanna know you better.
How stupid i was.
I should have known that you are the one for me. I was only for you. But deep down I know
I could never leave you.
I tried many time But I could never
Leave your side
I tried but failed. Remember when i proposed to Arjun, i held your hand like life line. No it was not the one time thing. I could never leave you. So how could you think that i will leave you now.
Cause if I wanted to go I would have gone by now.
Listen to me Mr Neil Malhotra. You have no escape. You are stick with me for the life time.
I kept running. My feet is getting sore. I am feeling a burning sensation in my throat but i can’t stop. I can’t lose you. Just see you idiot what have you done. Trust me you are going to pay back. Just let me catch you once then i will make you do massage of my feet. A flash of the foot massage in their dinner date flash in my mind. I could feel that i am blushing. I only know how i controlled embarrassing moan of pleasure that time.
One after another images of moment spend by us flashed in my mind.
Remember Idiot how we used to steal my parents’ liquor and climb to the roof
to talk about meaningless stuff. It was so much fun.
A smile crept on my lips.
And that day…
remember that fight i had with my mother, it was two-thirty a.m.. everything was slipping right out Of my hands. I felt like i could not breathe. No more. I ran out, crying, and you called and i didn’t answered. You got tensed and ran to my house only to find I was not there. You followed me out into the street. Found me at last in a lonely park. You sat in the swing beside me. The swings were little smaller for us but we didn’t care. I was not giving you any importance. Trying to pretend as if you were not there. But how could I ignore you. You were none stop babbling nonsense. You were talking crazy. I smiled thinking your words.
we could get married
Have ten kids and teach them how to dream.
….and then those dream.
The man come to my dream every day. Make me a cup of tea. Cares my cheek with love. Brush my hair from my face with fingers. Whisper good morning softly in my ears.
I know it was you
In my dreams you’re touching my face.
You are the only one who can make me feel like this.
So special.
Only you can set my heart on fire.
But i thought you would wait for me.
You always said you know me better than i know myself. You can feel my unspoken words. So why you mistaken my words today.
I thought
you’re the only one that knows me
Better than I know myself
but you left me.
No no sorry. What am i thinking. Your leaving is justified. I was wrong. Your decision is normal. Please don’t go.
Wait for me
Cause
You’re my light
You’re my cure
You are my everything.
If you were gone
For even a day I wouldn’t know which way to turn
Cause I’m lost without you.
Wait for me.
Kehte hain:
Khuda ne iss jahaan mein
Sabhi ke liye kisi na kisi ko hai banaaya
har kisi ke liye…
I don’t know why all of a sudden this song came in my mind. But its so true. He always make someone for each and every person. Who are we to challenge his judgement? He makes the best thing only. We just need to recognise it and I failed so terribly to do it. I am sorry that I didn’t release that you are the one.
I Am sorry… please make him stop.
Please let me meet him
God please
Help me..
Do anything
Just stop him from going away.
Send your angels
Just stop him from going away.
…because…
If he is gone
For even a day I wouldn’t know which way to turn
Cause I’m lost without him.
I love him.
And I wanna say it to him.
Mr Santanu Bose was both sad and worried. He came to XXX bus stop to see his lovely wife off. His wife, Aindrila is going to her parent’s home for her first delivery. He wanted to leave her safely to her parent’s home but his research institute can’t afford to give him single day leave.
“You can go alone na.” Santanu asked with genuine worried face.
Aindrila smiled to her husband’s worried face ” yes, baba i can go. Its not the first time i am travelling alone you idiot. Don’t forget you are the one who used to get chicken around when we came in this city. And you are with poor sense of direction. If i was not with you then you would have reached Kolkata back only by getting lost.”
“yeah whatever.” Santanu pout. Aindrila can’t help but to pull her husband’s cheek “stop being a baby, now you are going to be father.” Santanu smiled “yes, madam… oh it’s late. You stay here with bags. I will book your ticket, ok. Be carefull.” He put the bags in front of his wife’s foot. His wife just shuddered. He smiled and walk toward the ticket counter.
He smiled while musing about their relationship. They were class mate. He was really introvert and shy while Aindrila was a fun loving lady. Aindrila never actually made any sensible conversation with him during their college time. It’s not her fault. He just bore out every one. Stupid he, didn’t know the actual reason of her such behaviour. She was madly in love with him and could not talk to him freely…while thinking about his past he didn’t realise that he already came in the front of the queue of ticket. He came out of his musing when the man behind the counter shouted at him.
“You need ticket or not.” The man said in an annoyed voice.
“Yeah, a ticket to ***** stop.”
The man gave him ticket in bored face and Santanu smiled stupidly.
He moved from the line giving space for access to the person behind him in line.
“yes, stop name please” again the man behind the counter said.
“…” no answer from the passenger.
“What happen to all today, if you don’t wanna go anywhere then why are you wasting your time standing here…” the man sitting behind the counter was frustrated.
Santanu felt really bad the poor apparent. He looked kinda lost.
“hey buddy, are you fine.” Santanu ask.
The person looked at him in confused eyes and then looked away.
“buddy… ok I guess you are deaf…” Santanu said and did some sign language to make him understand
The person looked at him as if he is crazy ” um…forget about me, with that sign language of yours even sign language expert deaf people can’t understand” he said.
Santanu smiled ” ah.. finally speaking buddy huh… I see you are not sensory motor deficient in anyway.” The person rolled his eyes.
“so where are you going?” Santanu asked.
“Honestly I don’t know. I thought of traveling but I don’t have any particular destination in mind. By the way where are you heading?” the person asked.
“not me.. its my wife… um.. to ****** ” santanu said .
“ooo… Then I will start from ******* as well I guess”
The man behind counter hurriedly made ticket of that stop and threw it to him and sigh in relief.
The person took it and moved from line
“you are really not any perverted stalker are you? Following my wife” Santanu asked.
“what?? I don’t know your wife.. ok” the person assured.
“um… ok … your bus will leave any time soon. You should settle yourself then and yeah… look after my wife in the road ok. She is expecting and her name is Aindrila.” Santanu said
“ok… then see you again sometime. ” the person said and started to walk toward the bus.
“hey… um.. forgot to ask… what’s your name.” santanu asked
“its Neil” said Neil.