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Hello guys…this is Anu back with 2nd special b’day OS…and this one is a funny one…hope you all enjoy it….
*** This is not written by me….Actually it is a birthday gift from one of my sweetest friend…Talkopie….and I will reveal who is Talkopie at the end of this OS…So have some popcorn in your hand as this is super good…***
**** Pls guys read each and every word in this..as it is very good. Plus I have provided English translations for those who don’t know Hindi properly…..but the Hindi translation is very good and it will make the things clear…Sometimes the English translations might be wrong so pls I am sorry…Enjoy****
Note: kuch bhi bura ho to writers dayi nahi honge. read at your own risk
Oberoi mansion is shown shaking as if there is a big earth quake (3x bigger than Nepal’s earthquake ?)
Shouts are heard.
Shouting voice: OYE KHOTEYA, TENU AJ MAI MAR DALAMGA! TU MERE HATON AJ NAHI BACHEGA!
(HEY STUPID BOY, I WILL KILL YOU TODAY! YOU WILL NOT BE SAFE FROM ME TODAY!)
Another scared low shaking voice:
dadi, dadi mennu maaf kar do, dkhoji, tu kehenda issliye nai Punjabi mai bat kartassi. Dkho aj koi tadi bhi na mar raha mai, ab maaf kardo…
(grandma, grandma please forgive me, see, for you I am talking in Punjabi. See, today I am not even showing attitude, please forgive me…)
Shouting voice (dadi): tu baat nahi karega! Bara aya Shivaay Singh Oberoi wala! Punjabi kha p bhi thik se nahi bol pata. Meri bahu ko ghar le ayyo warna mai bharak jayyo aur ek thappar muo pe layyo!
(You will not speak! You so called Shivaay Singh Oberoi! You don’t even know p of Punjabi. Bring my DIL back, else I will get so angry, and you will get a slangry!)
Low voice (Shivaay): layyo??? What’s that language!
Dadi: khote da puttar tu phir English bol raha hai! Maine layyo bas avai keh diya para milane ke liye! Tu chup chap meri bat sunega, kuch nahi bolega tu warna ek thappad marna menu tujhe…
Rudra comes in a dramatic style nd says: nahi… nahi… nahi…! Aisa nahi ho sakta! Mere darling paraye dhan bhaiya chup nahi ho sakte! Mere bhai bhabi ko wapas layenge, jarur layenge…
(no… no… no! It is not possible! My darling married brother can’t keep quiet. My brother will bring my SIL back, he will surely bring her back…)
Om comes: ye app kya bol rahe hai Rudranath… mere Shivaay aisa nahi karenge. Mere Shivaay kabhi kisi ke samne nahi jhukte, wo chup reh sakte hai lekin jhuk nahi sakte…
(what are you saying Rudranath… my Shivaay can’t do this. My Shivaay never bends before anyone, he can keep quiet but can’t bent…)
Rudra: kyu, kyu, kyu? Akhir aisa kiu. Agar wo jhukenge to unka nam “Jhukao Singh Oberoi” nahi ho jayega. Waise bhi unke back me Raman Bhalla ki tarha pain nahi hai. Bhaiya, plz, plz, plz, meri bhabi ko layye, kiuki, kiuki kiuki “We need someone to lean on”
(why why why? Why can’t he bent? If he bent his name will not become “Jhukao Singh Oberoi”. Anyways he don’t have back pain like Raman Bhalla. Brother, plz plz plz bring back my SIL, cause cause cause “We need someone to lean on”)
Shiv: mai aisa nai kar sakta kiuki “We don’t talk anymore”
(I can’t do this, because “We don’t talk anymore”
Rudra: bhaiya apko karna parega, “Don’t let me down” sirf kahiye “I’m sorry, ‘coz I am missing more than your body”
(Brother you have to do this, “Don’t let me down” just say “I’m sorry, coz I am missing more than just your body”)
Dadi: oye khoteyo! English gaano ka nam bolna ho gaya to meri bahu ko ghar layega!
(You fools! If you are done taking names of English songs then bring my DIL back!)
Rudra: oh yes, bhabi bhi to hai, mai to bhul hi gaya…
(oh yes, I also have a SIL, I completely forgot…)
Om: Rudra, keh do ki ye JHOOT HAI… Jhoot Hai… jhoot hai… jhut ha… tum mere Shivaay ki bibi ko bhul gaye… ye sunne se pehle mere kan kyu nahi phat gaye, dharti asman me mil kiu nahi gayi, zameen chir kyu nahi gayi…
(Rudra, tell me you are LYING… LYIng… Lying… lying… how can you forget my Shivaay’s wife… why didn’t I become deaf before listening to this, why didn’t earth got destroyed, why didn’t the land got divided…)
Dadi: KHOTEYO CHUP KAR JAAA!!!!!
(JUST SHUT UP YOU FOOLS!!!)
on the other side:
Annika is waiting for someone at home.
Sahil: na didi na! Mai apko aise na dekh sakta. Ram bhaiya na aye to mai lekayunga, lkn apko mai aise na dekh payunga…
(no sister no! I can’t see you like this. If brother Ram won’t come then I will take you, but I can’t see you like this…)
Ani: gadha, wo Ram nahi Shiv hai, Shivaay. Aur wo tera bhaiya nahi jiju hai.
(Fool, he is not Shiv not Ram, Shivaay. And he is your BIL not brother.)
Sahil: thik hai Sita bhabi, ap kahe to aisa hi hoga, ye Laxman apka ansoon pochega…
(ok SIL Sita, if you say then this will happen, this Laxman will wipe your tears)
Ani: hai uparwale sakti de muhhe iss JALIM insan se bachne ke liye. Mai Sita bhabi nahi, Annika didi hu aur tu, tu to mera Sahil haire, Laxman nahi.
(Hey Almighty, give me strength to save myself from this JALIM human.I am not Sita SIL but Anika di di and you,you are Sahil,not Laxman
Sahil: didi wo nahi ayenge. Agar wo aye to kya ap chale jayenge…?
(Sister, he will not come. If he comes then will you go with him)
Ani: ha Sahil ha, ahi sansar ka Neeyam hai, har kisiko kisi na kisi din jana hi parta hai…
(Yes Sahil yes, this is the rule[neeyam] of this world, one has to go when the time comes)
Sahil: Neeyam? Neeyam to mere schl ki roll no.3 hai, wo meri ex-gf hai.
( After listening to word neeyam,
Sahil- Neeyam?? Neeyam is Roll No.3 in my school….my ex-gf…)
Ani: tu chup kar! Shivaay ayenge, jaroor ayenge, mere OmRu unhe le ayenge. Warna mai khudko Neelam kar dungi…
(Shut up…Shivaay will come…he will surely come,my OmRu will bring him….warna mai khudko neelam kar dungi)
Sahil: lekin didi, Neelam to roll no.13 hai, meri current gf hai.
(But Di di, Neelam is Roll no. 13, my current Gf)
Ani: hai uparwale…! ( Oh God..!)
Just then Shivaay comes running in slow motion.
“Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam” plays in bg.
Tujhe dekha to ye jaana sanam
Pyaar hota hai deewana sanam
Ab aha se kaha jaye hum
Teri bahon me mar jaye hum…
Anika shouts Shivaay in slow motion. She too runs to in slow motion, Shivaay opens his arms like SRK (my SRK????)
Annika is still running, there is 1foot nd 5inch distance b/w them and it seems Annika is crossing only 1inch in every 1 min. Soon the distance reduced, Annika was about to him that time only a bike crosses b/w them nd bcoz of that mud gets on Shivaay’s shirt.
Shiv: fhat the wuck…
Annika’s dream gets over…
Ani: hai Maa, Mata ji… ye kya tha!
(Maa….Mata ji, what is this???!!)
Sahil: apka sapna jo toot gaya, aur ap please don’t copy TMKOC Daya..
( Your dream didn’t complete na, and pls don’t copy TMKOC Daya)
Ani: chup kar! Agar wo nahi aye to mai apni seheliyo ko kya kahungi kitty party mai. Maine to pure Oberoi mansion ko dav pe laga diya.
( Shut up, if he will not come then what will I tell to my friends in kitty party?? I have risked the whole Oberoi Mansion now)
Sahil: kya! Toh unhone kya lagaya dav pe?
( What??, So what did they tell??)
Ani: pure 5crore ka diamond set, do bunglow, 1 BMW, paisaaa…
( 5 crore diamond set, two bunglow, 1 BMW, money…)
She gets into her fantasyland.
Sahil shakes Anika, Annika gets out of her fantasyland.
Sahil: didi ap Motu ke dialogues kyu chura rahe ho?
(didi, who are you stealing Motu’s dialogues…)
Ani: chup kar ja sahil. Mai abhi sone ja rahi hu, agar Rudradev and Swami Om (bechare satyavaadi Om ko BigBoss ka jhuta Swami Om bana diya?) ajaye Prannath ko lekar to bata dena..
( Shut up Sahil….I am going to sleep now, If Rudradev and Swami Om come then wake me up…)
Sah: didi ap din me sogi?
( didi, you will sleep in day..??)
Ani: toh? Tujhe usse kya…?
( So, what if I sleep??)
Sah: thik hai didi…
( OK didi)
Shivaay comes to Annika’s house. Sahil seeing him goes to call Annika but Shivaay stops him
Shivaay: arre mera Sahil beta! Tu to mera jaan, meri an hai, meri shan hai, meri pehchan hai. Ruk ja waha, tujhe meri kasam
(Oh Sahil my sahil,! You are my life,you are my respect, you are my identity… stop over there…tujhe meri kasam…)
Sahil: par kyu mere Ram bhaiya?
( But why Ram bhaiya)
Shivaay: Sahil character se bahar mat ja… tu yaha Sahil hai, tu Siya ke Ram me kiu ghusa ja raha hai?
(Sahil don’t go out from the character…you are Sahil over here, why are you getting in Siya ke Ram??)
Sahil: ye bari lambi story hai, bad mai chota karke batayunga. Lkn ap kya keh rehethe?
( This is a very long story…..later I will tell you after making it short…but…what were your saying??)
Shivaay: sun meri bat, mai teri Annika did ko romantic song bajakar propose karunga. Phir wo mujhe gale lagayegi, phir mai usse baho me uthayunga, phir usse ghar le jayunga, ghar ke andar kamre me le jake mai…
( Listen to me,I will propose your Anika Di by playing a romantic song..then she will hug me,then I will lift her up in my arms,then I will take her back home, inside the house I will take her to room and….)
Sahil: thik hai bas bas bas, bht ho gaya aur nahi sunna, apko jo karne hai kare lekin jaldi kare plz.
( OK….OK….stop…stop….its enough and I don’t want to listen to it more….Do what you want to do but do it fast…)
Shivaay: thik hai…
( OK )
Shivaay dress like SRK of DDLJ, he takes a tape recorder and a guitar.
He shouts Annika and turns on the tape recorder. Annika comes before the song starts. Ani was facing his back but he turns to her. Music plays… (female version)
Phoolo ka taron ka sabka kehna hai
Ek hazaro me meri behna hai
Sari umaar hume sang rehna hai
They get shocked ( Talkopie ka special jhatka ?)
La la la lalla, lalla la la la
Shivaay turns it off
Shiv: fhat the wuck! Ye kya hai?
( fhat the wuck?? What was this??)
Ani: OH MY MAATA! Shivaay! Ye sunne se pehle mai mar kyu nahi gayi!
( OMM, Shivaay, before listening to this why didn’t I die??)
Shiv: Annika trust me, ye gaana galti se baaj gaya…
( Anika trust me, this song got played by mistake…)
Ani: galti se ho ya janbujh kar, lkn ye kiya to apne hi hai, gaana ap ga rahe the na! Ab mai apne kitty party ki seheliyo ko kya muo dikhayungi, mai unhe kya kahungi ki mere pati ki awaj ladkiyo jaisi hai! Mera to “OMM” ban jayega…
( If it is by mistake or purposefully, you have done it na!!you were singing the song!!now what face will I show to my kitty party friends…, what will I tell to them that my has a female voice!! It would be my OMM…..)
Ani: kya Bacchan sahab ki tarha “hein” kar rahe hai! Karne se pehle apni height to dekh lete…
( what you are saying “hein” like Bacchan Sir…..before doing it you should have seen your height…)
Shi: kyaaaa….!!!??? Anyways, Annika sachme mai “Bakkasur” hu…
( what….Anyways, Anika truly I am Innocent
[Shivaay meant bekassur(innocent) but his hindi word pronunciation got wrong and he told bakkasur…]
Ani: hey Devi Mayya! Ye sab sunne ke bad mujhe jinda kyu rakkha! Shivaay, “Bakkasur”!? Really!
( Oh my Devi Maiyya! Why are you keeping me alive after listening this…Shivaay….Bakkassur….really…)
Shi: wo bakkasur nahi hota? Par maine to ahi suna hai…
( wo bhakkasur nahi hota??? But I have heard it ….)
Sahil: jiju, bakkasur ek asur ka nam hai..
( Jiju…bhakkasur is the name of a Asur.[ rakshas ]…………)
Ani: hey ishwar, paramatma, mahatma, Jesus, God, Allah, bhagwan, Durga ma, Kali ma, Bholenath, Narayan! Ab mai apni kitty party me kya bolu ki mere pati “Ninja Hatori” cartoon k dialogues churate hai. Churate bhi hai to bhi Sisimaru ke, kutte ke! Ab meri kya izzat reh jayegi un sabke samne!
( Oh ishwar, paramatma, mahatma, Jesus, God, Allah, bhagwan, Durga ma, Kali ma, Bholenath, Narayan!Now what will I tell to my friends in kitty party that my husband copies the dialogs of “Ninja Hattori”…and that too he copies the dialoges of sisimaru, a dog!!Now what respect will I have in front of them?)
Shi: kya kya kya! Annika tumhe meri fikar nahi aur un logo ki fikar hai!
( what..what….Anika you are thinking about those people and not me??)
Ani: what the fikar!
Ani: phirse, height dekhiye…
( Again…think about your height…)
Shiv: anyways, hai meri Annika devi, kya ap mere sath humare ghar me prasthan karengi?
( anyways, oh my anika Devi…will you come with me and leave[ prasthan ] our house…)
Ani: ye aira, prasthan nahi agmam, kisi jaga jane ko agman kehte hai, prasthan matlab chor kar jana. Jo vi ho… hey mere Shivji mai apke sath kahi vi agman kar sakti hu… mai apke sath chalungi.
( not prasthan..it is agmam(enter….)when someone enters the house it is called agmam…prasthan means to leave……anyways….My Shivji…I am ready to come with you….I will come with you)
Shiv opens his arms like SRK. Annika runs but after few secs she realises that she is at the same place. She looks behind, she sees Sahil holding her hand.
Ani: Sahil mera hat chod warna mai bet har jayungi nd sara paisa hat se jayega.
( Sahil leave my hand or else I will lose the bet and all money would go away from my hands…)
Sah: lkn mai apke bina nahi reh sakta.
( But I cannot live without you)
Ani: Sahil ke bacche mujhe sab pata hai tu un paiso me hissa chahta hai na de dungi tujhe…
( Sahil….I know everything…you want a part of that money na…I will give it to you..)
Sah: to thik hai.
( Then Ok
He leaves her hand…)
Sahil: ja Simran ja, jile apni zindagi…
( Go Simran go…live your life..)
Ani: gadhera, Simran nahi, mai teri Annika didi hu aur tubhi AmrishPuri nahi hai…
( Fool, not Simran…I am your Anika didi and you are not Amrish Puri)
Sahil: oh, aisa hai kya? Toj phir, ja didi ja, jile apni zindagi.
( Oh…its like that…the….Go didi go….live your life)
Ani: tu mujhe bula rahahe? Apni bari behen ko tu bula raha hai?
( You are trying to forget me…you are trying to erase your memories of your big sister)
Shiv: arre tum bhai behen ka ho gaya? Mai itni der tak aise pose karke nahi reh sakta. Annika “making a cry baby face”
(Is your bro-sis moment over….I cannot be in this position for a long time…..Anika….”making a crybaby face”)
Ani: ha arahi hu, ap thora thehriye na… Sahil tu bol.
( yes I am coming….pls wait an…and Sahil you say)
Sahil: oh sorry sorry, ap thik se bolta hu. Jayye didi jayyye, ji lihiye apni zindagi, bas?
( Oh sorry sorry…now I will say it correctly….Go didi Go….Go and live your life…..enough)
Ani: ha ab thik hai… lekin retake karna parega, itni der tak kn bolta hai. Tu slow motion me dobara bol.
( Yes now it is OK…..but retake is needed…say in slow motion)
Shi: nahi nahi nahi! Annika aisa nahi ho sakta…!
( no no no….Anika this cannot happen….)
Ani: oh ho, inka kuch karna parega… ha idea, Prannath…
( Oh ho…I have do do something…Idea…)
Shi: ji, boliye meri jaan…
( Yes tell my love…)
Shivaay freezes there.
Ani: ha Sahil ab bol, ek min, pehle hat to pakar.
( Yes Sahil..now say…1 min..first hold my hand..)
He holds her hand.
Ani: Sahil muhhe jane dijiye, mere prannath chale jayenge. Mujhe unke pas jana hai.
( Sahil I have to go…He will go sahil…I have to go near him..)
Sah: “leaves her hand” thik hai didi, aapke khushi ke liye mmai kuch bbhi kar sakta hu. jayye didi, jayye, ji lijiye apni zindagi.
(leaves her hand….
OK didi…for your happiness I can do anything…Go didi,go and live your life..)
Sahil plays tujhe dekha……
Ani: Shivaay, over.
Shiv gets back to normal but still doing the pose.
Annika runs in slow motion… Shivaay sees a truck coming.
Shi: Annika jaldi chalo warna train chut jayegi…
Ani: hein…?? Aha pe train?
( what…train over here..)
Shiv: mera matlab hai truck araha hai..
( I mean truck is coming)
Ani seeing the truck nd runs
Shivika: ek min, hum apna apna nam kiu bol rahe hai…..
( 1 min…why are we saying our own names???)
Shi: jovi hai Annika tum bhago
( Let it be anything…Anika…run…)
Annika runs and reaches Shivaay just after that the truck was about to hit Annika.
He forwards his hands in slow motion and after almost 1min, he saves her by pushing her and they both roll on ground, Annika over Shivaay, Shivaay over Annika, Annika over Shivaay, Shivaay over Annika and lastly Annika over Shivaay and their lips meet. They have a liplock. Their mouth is covered with Annika’s hair so no one can see this.
Annika moves her head. Shivaay holds her close.
But but but bcoz ye Talkopie ka mind hai isliye no more romance, Shivaay holds her close and makes her move aside and gets up.
He makes her stand also.
Shi: tum boht bhari ho Annika…
( You are very heavy Anika)
Annika looks at him angrily.
Shi: ok now before you eat me alive, hume ghar chalna chahiye.
( Now before you eat me alive…let’s go home)
Ani: hai gurudev, Shankar bhagwan inhe koi akal do
( Oh God….Shankar Bhagwan give him some brains)
Shi: de denge wobhi de denge, lkn ab chalo.
( Will give…will give that….but now come)
Shivaay holds Annika’s hand and they both runs from there.
Shi: what happened? Kya hua, kya kya kya hua kya?
(What happened….what happened??)
Ani: pehle toh ap Daya ko copy karna band kijiye. Aur mai ruki kiuki… kiuki…
( firstly pls stop copying Daya….and I stopped because…because…)
Ani: wooo… kiuki… ( because)
Shiv: kiuki what?
( because what)
Ani: kiuki Bacchan Shahab ke ghar pe kitty party hai, Ashwariya Rai Bacchan ne rakhi hai.
( because there is a kitty party in Bacchan Sir’s house…Aishwarya Rai Bacchan has kept the party..)
Ani: aur… mai usme invited hu, mujhe usme jana hai, maine bet lagayi thi, nahi jayungi to har jayungi, waise bhi wo hamare padosi hai (???) nahi jayenge to bura man jayenge…
( And..I am invited… I have to go over there….I kept a bet….If I will not go I will lose….and If I don’t go,they are our neighbors and they would feel bad )
Ani makes puppy face,
screen freezes on their face…
So as I have told you all I have to reveal who is Talkopie…And she is a famous writer in IB page…And she is none other than Neeti…..Yes Neeti is my talkopie….pls thank her for giving such a great OS……it is all her effort so please do thank her…..
And pls pls don’t go without dropping a comment….one emoji is also a great thing for us…so pls do comment..
Talkopie and Anu 😉