Guilt….Shivika os by anu….Part 17

Hey guys…Anu here..and I am back with the 17th episode of my story Guilt…and the these episodes would be giving the actual meaning of this story..that is guilt..
And thank you so much for such sweet comments…a few comments actually made me restless and I am straight away writing the episode after reading it..thankyou so much for giving me so much of love..

Link to all my episodes…
Here

Link to my last episode.
Episode 16

Enjoy reading…

Guilt.

Part 17

Anika- no Shivaay .please leave me…

Shivaay-Anika I can’t repeat that mistake again..if I do..I can never forgive myself..till now I was living like only with a living body. The soul within it was you Anika. You were the one who made that kanji aakho walla bagad bills into your billu ji..your Shivaay…you were the one who made me understand that khoon khandan and all that stuff is not important..the things on which I sweared I will never change those ideologies…You Anika you…You made me understand that my so-called ideologies are wrong..they have a meaning only in my life…Anika you are the one who filled colours in my colorless life…Anika it was you who changed me …who changed my whole world..you mean a lot for me…

Anika was shocked by hearing this….She then turned away from Shivaay to hide her tears…She then went into flashbacks of her life 3 years back….and then all the flashbacks of her and Shivaay in a few days…..She couldn’t hear what Shivaay was saying as she was in her own world..

.
Shivaay went on speaking….

Shivaay- Anika..the day you left me..I felt like my soul left my body..I started to feel lifeless..I know that I doubted you and did wrong with you but within me..I loved you Anika….and it got a little late to understand that I love you Anika..till then..you left Anika….
All these 3 years I had just faked myself…Like I put a mask on my face..outside everyone would see me happy but when I am alone I sit and cry for my deeds…Anika…you were the one….who made me understand what life is…You opposed my ideology that Life is a deal….Love is a deal and all that stuff because you knew that I was wrong..you made me understand life …

All these years I was dying within me out of “Guilt”….I am unable to express how much guilt I have within me…I am not able to control myself anika…I am not able to…Anika please come back to my life..u are my soul Anika…I can’t live my life more without you…I can’t live my life more without fighting with you..I can’t live my life more without my Panika…I can’t live my life without this girl who gives names to her belongings…I can’t live my life without this girl who has as much tadi as me..I can’t live without your presence….I can’t live without my life..my wife..Anika….(Shivaay starts to cry louder…)

Anika please Anika please forgive me..Anika I can’t live without you..I can’t live even for a second with this guilt within me Anika..Anika please listen to me…Anikaa….please say that you have forgiven me…Anika please Anika say that you love me…Anika please say…Anika….

.
Anika was herself in her own world…She was thinking about her past and is crying with it…the guilt within her is forcing her to cry…She didn’t hear what all Shivaay said…She then controlled herself and decided to forgive Shivaay and live with him..because Shivaay was just like heartbeat for her..and without him..she is lifeless….She loves him the most….He was the one…who made her strong..He was the one who made her laugh..he was the one…to whom she belonged….She still wears the sacred mangalsutra and sindoor only because SHE LOVES HIM!!!

Anika decided to say out her guilt and ask for forgiveness….
Anika turned and saw the most horrible sight of her life….

She saw Shivaay lying down with a very deep cut in his hand…

.
FB

Shivaay was asking Anika to forgive him…She did not respond….Out of guilt Shivaay took a piece of broken glass and with all his force,made a cut on his wrist….He kept on saying I love you Anika till he lost his consciousness and was subconscious..not in a state to say anything…his eyes were closed but he could hear Anika crying…..

FB over…

Anika screamed his name……She went to him and took her scarf to tie it around that cut to stop bleeding….She then took his to the car by holding him by his shoulder….

The next scene.is in Anika’s car…

Anika- Shivaay …Shivaay…why did you do this…Shivaay please open your eyes….Shivaay see we are going to the hospital…We will reach there soon Shivaay…you can’t leave me Shivaay…Shivaay you can’t leave me…Shivaay you cannot leave me alone Shivaay…you cannot…Shivaay..please open your eyes…please don’t leave me Shivaay…I can’t live without you…I love you Shivaay……….I love you to infinity..I love you more than myself…I love till my last breath…..Shivaay I love you!!!!!

Precap- Anika confronts someone…She gives out all her guilt in front of him…(not Shivaay OK)

So will Shivaay come back from this battle of life and death…will Anika forgive Shivaay…Anika confronts someone..who is he??Stay tuned to know all this..and I will post my next episode soon…
bye….

With love
Anu