When my world is falling apart,
When there is no light to break the dark,
That’s when I look at you !!
I started the engine. “Where are we going ?!!” Naira asked again. I was irritated with this question.
“Somewhere special.” I smiled.
“Special ?!!” She asked frowning. I nodded and focussed on the road while Naira kept blabbering.
We reached our next destination. I parked my car outside the gate and took a glance at Naira who looked stunned. She was completely unaware what we are exactly doing ‘there’ after so many years.
By ‘there’ I mean the lakeside park. It was a beautiful park beside a small lake which was why it was named lakeside park. This park was special to us.
“Oh my God !! What are we doing here ?!!” Naira exclaimed.
“Refreshing old memories, I guess. Now come on don’t you want to see how much this place has changed ?!!” I asked. She nodded. I held her hand and we walked inside.
“Nothing has changed. Everything is exactly like it was.” I said.Naira nodded.
I still couldn’t believe he had brought me to the park.All those memories came back flooding to my mind and I felt like I had gone back to the time when we were kids.
This park was a special place to us because during the primary phase of our relationship we used to meet here. This was our secret meeting place so that we won’t get caught. We used to sneek here to spend time with each other.
I sat down with Karthik by my side. “The secret meeting place.” I said and smiled.Those memories were hard to forget. I still remembered each and every one of them, it’s just that they were buried somewhere deep inside me.
I looked at Karthik who was already looking at me admirably. I gave him a confused look. His hand was now placed on top of mine.
“What happened ?!!” I asked as his expression changed and he held onto my hand tighter. He didn’t say anything and that was now worrying me. But before I could say or ask something he wrapped his arms around me. My body was pressed against his body and I could hardly breathe. I was taken a bit aback by his bold reaction.
“Karthik , what happened ?!!” I asked sounding worried as I tried to pull back. But he wouldn’t just let go. I gently ran my hand in his hair and then I realized, that he was crying.
Suddenly, it all dawned upon me. Him taking me to eat Pani puris, we coming here and now this . He did this to convince me to stay !! I should’ve been happy that I was lucky enough that somebody loved me so much. But instead, I was heartbroken and guilty. I had made this guy go through so much in these two years, but he never stopped loving me and he still didn’t give up.
“Karthik , are you crying ?!!” I asked stupidly even through I was pretty sure that he was.
“Don’t go Naira. . .please.” He said as his voice cracked. I felt like someone was stabbing my own heart. I couldn’t tell him that I had to go. That would break him more. I gently broke the hug and he wiped those tears from his eyes.
“Are you okay ?!!” I asked.
“No. No I’m not okay damnit !!” He yelled and got up. I got up too. “How can you expect me to be okay when you’re leaving ?!! You know Naira, I had convinced myself that I would stay strong, I would convince you to stay anyhow. But I can’t do this. It kills me from inside when you keep this distance between us !! Like there was nothing before .” He said. He wasn’t angry, he was hurt and I saw it in his eyes.
“You know, we have talked about this before. Please dont make this hard for me.” I said almost crying.
“If its so hard for you why don’t you stay ?!!” He asked me directly.
“You know why.” I said. He sighed.
“I don’t know what else I have to do to change your mind. All I can do now is to ask you to stay. Still if you don’t want to stay I’m sorry because I think I’m giving up now.” He said. His voice could barely be heard but his words broke me from inside.
I wanted to say yes, I’m staying. I’m staying because I love you so much to leave you alone. But I don’t know what got over me. It was like somebody else was controlling me.
“I’m sorry but I think its better if you give up on me.” I ended up saying. Of course the soft part of me was regretting those words.
I thought it was better if I left. At least he would give up on me and move on and with that thought and a heavy heart, I ran away from that place…..
I couldn’t believe she just left. Left me there dumbfounded. All alone. I thought I was good enough to change her mind, but no. I wasn’t. I failed.Again. The girl whom I gave my everything, the girl whom I loved with all my heart was weak and her love for me was weaker.
I wanted to escape from all this drama going on in my life. I felt like running away. But no matter where I went, what I did,Naira won’t seem to leave my mind. She had me trapped in love and there was no way out.
I walked towards my car and secretly hoped to see Naira standing there waiting for me to come. Well, I wasn’t surprised to see that she had left. She had told me to give up. I think I was now beginning to give up.
I sat in my car and looked at the watch. It was 3:00 p.m. With her time flew so fast, I didn’t feel like looking at that watch again. She was going to leave in an hour and with every minute passing by my heart was sinking.
I needed to go away from all the mess in my life. So, I decided to drive to some place away from the city where it could only be me.
I started the engine and drove off.
I burst open the door of my house and ran away straight to my room with tears flowing from my eyes like a river. I felt stupid, immature, b***c, cruel, crazy, abnormal, and what not. Infinite adjectives would also be less to describe how I was and what I felt at that time.
I knew he wouldn’t understand the reason behind me leaving. He would find it stupid and childish. But for me, it mattered the most and the only reason I was leaving him was because I love him. More than anything else.
My bags were already packed. Only thing left was to check everything again, get ready and leave.
I went to the washroom to clean myself up. I was a complete mess from crying. I washed my face multiple times and came out only to see Bhai sitting on the bed.
He had this I’m-so-angry-and-hurt look on his face. I knew what was going to come next.
“I need to talk to you.” He said coldly. There you go. I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed.
“Look I don’t know what happened between you and Karthik right now. But let me tell you one thing very clear, if you leave today, that boy is going to suffer more than you. I also want you to stay, but I won’t just stop you from going because I want you to stay. I’m not selfish. But today I’m asking you to stay for him. You don’t know how heartless you’re acting right now.” He said in a high pitched voice like he was scolding me.
I sighed. “I’m not heartless. I wouldn’t have loved him if I was.” I said in a low tone.
“If you love him then don’t go. Its simple Naira. You’re not a five year old girl not to understand this simple thing.” he said and sat down beside me. His high pitched voice turned suddenly into a comforting and soothing voice.
“Look Naira, you know very well that if you go from his life, you will not only spoil his life but also yours. I know very well that my sister is not heartless. I agree that the incident that happened a few days ago was a shocking one for you, but when two people love each other nobody has the power to separate them not even God.” he said.
I kept looking at the floor and went into a deep thought. “Think about it. You still have time.” Bhai said as he got up and left.
‘Is he right ?!! I’m not heartless.Karthik loves me. I love Karthik. Then why am I running away from such a beautiful and perfect life ?!!’ I thought.
When two people love each other, nobody has power to separate them.Bhai’s words kept ringing in my head. And then he had also said. . .not even God.
I always thought that Karthik had those two accidents because of me. But I couldn’t think the other way. Every coin has two sides. I always looked at the side where I was portrayed as the culprit. Maybe our love was the reason for his survival after two fatal accidents ?!! But then it was a ‘maybe’.
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 3:45 p.m. I still had fifteen minutes to make up my mind.
Yes, I was having second thoughts. I was trapped between ‘going’ and ‘not going’. The clocks tik-tok made my heartbeat faster. There was pin drop silence in my room. Only the clock’s tik-tok and my racing heartbeats were heard.
I have to make my choice. It’s now or never..!!
Precap : Naira’s decission. Finally happily ever after !!
Reuinion in the next Chapter !!
All thanks to your prayers that I wasn’t kicked out of class today. Since I had to spend whole night writting my assisgnments, I have a sleepy head right now so please ignore the mistakes made in this Chapter. Well I am going to take a short nap right now. will write the next Chapter when I wake up. Don’t worry I would be posting it today itself as TU won’t be accepting articles on 31st and 1st due to new year holiday. I won’t prolong your wait to two days later !!
Do tell me how this Chapter was ?!!
Do comment. keep smiling. Keep watching Yrkkh !!