When my grandma left me.. OS by Pavithra

Hello everyone, this is Pavithra here. This is an OS by me, dedicated to my grandmother. This is not dedicated, its all about her. About her last two months, the worst time in my life. These are real happenings. She left me 1year ago, 6th Feb… This day, last year… But I know she is still around me happily, supporting me all the way she can… Please read and comment.. Please..

It was diagnosed that she had cancer. But she survived with all her strength for 3 years and it was all ok…. Her health problem was almost gone. She was almost like relieved from her health problem. But everything changed on 17th December 2016.

Morning 4:30… 17th Dec 2016….

She woke up from her sleep. Her home nurse was near her fast asleep. She stood up from her bed and started to walk.. Usually we wake up this time to go to the washroom. But she was not going to the washroom. In my home, her room’s doors opened into another roo whose doors only opened to the main hall.. She was walking to the door of her room. And she suddenly sat down there like falling… That single second changed her as well as my life…

I love you

After this incident, I have seen her without much problems was for only one day. That night, she slept and she was never able to stand up from her bed. From that falling, she got her spinal cord fractured.. As she was over aged, there was nothing to do for her.

That morning, it was though that she was woken up just to fall down….. The first step to her death..

Later she was hospitalised. She didn’t even talk to anyone. She kept her eyes open all the time but had a blank look.. She kept her eyes glued on the ceiling of her room. One day, I saw tears rolling down her cheeks.. That time, I didn’t think in my life that I will loose her.

On 3rd January, she was moved to another hospital at Ernakulam, the metro town of Kerala. My mother’s brother’s wife was a daughter there. That means my grandmother’s daughter-in-law.. So she got special treatment.. What use for that? She was left dead, na?

We were always in ernakulam.. I was present in school for only 13 days that month..

My exam started. Two of my exams were postponed to 6th and 7th of February…

Feb 3rd , Friday… My mom called and told me that she is going to EKM because grandma is critical. She told me to stay in my friend’s house that evening and she will pick me when she come back that night.. So, like she said,I came to my friend’s house. The first thing i heard that my mom is not coming that night and I have to stay in my friend’s house. That time, I didn’t know what should I do, I thought.. should I cry or laugh or be angry?
The friend I said is a girl from the other division of 7th.. My relative too. But, to be frank,I don’t like her!!
So I stayed there the whole night. I kept my eyes open all the time..

Next day morning,my sister came from her hostel and picked me up and we both stayed in our house that day… 4th of February.. At evening, one relative of ours came and we went to her house… We stayed at our relative’s house that night.. Next day that is 5th February, my father came and picked us from our relative’s house and let my sister go back to hostel. We both went to EKM… Those 3 days without seeing my mom, I don’t even want to remember..

Evening 6:00.. 5th Feb 2017…. We went to the hospital to meet mom and grandma… I thought grandma is OK.. She can talk. She has improved. But it was not like that… The moment I entered the hospital room, I found her half dead. She had swelling all over her body.. She kept her eyes closed. I couldn’t believe my eyes.. The oxygen mask, the gurgling sound of water and the beep sound still scares me..

Mom told me to touch her hand… I was actually scared to do so. But I touched and felt it really hard. I didn’t know that it was the last time I am touching her. Before leaving I glanced a look at her half dead body…

The next time I am seeing her was with two cotton balls on her nostrils and a band tied around her face.. Yes, she was dead. The stand-by told us… The moment before her dead, she opened her eyes and let out a smile saying bye to this world. Without even struggling for life, she just bid bye…

After her death, my life changed.. I am not joking.. Its true.. My whole life changed…

This is to you ammumma (we malayalis call grandmother’s ammumma..) Its been 1 year since you have left me but I am sure you are always with me. Sorry for those arguments. It was your death that taught me how important you were to me… I really miss your ‘Vava’ call.. I know you are in heaven seeing all this happily… Love you a lot ammumme…

*Real life incidents.


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  1. Riana

    The person disliked this is an abnormal…
    This Os is amazinggg

  2. Riana

    I am pavithra sure your ammumma must be proud of you…Lets pray for her peaceful soul…

    1. Riana

      Sorry its *i am* its Hi…ughh this keyboard !!

      1. Riana

        I mean not *i am*

  3. I can understand ur pain Pavithra………may her soul rest in peace…..

  4. Fenil

    Touched i am…tears rolled down…stay happy for her Pavi.

  5. Mansi

    I can very well understand ur pain as I too have faced that n it’s not at all easy???Ur very strong to write it all down….It needs lots of courage to do that!!!…..May her soul rest in peace!!….

  6. Varshini

    i am sure ur ammuma will be proud of you . i am crying right now , there are two reasons , because of this os , very emotional , can understand how u must have felt and the second reason is that i too lost my grand mother this same day (6th feb) few years back . life is incomplete without a grandmother but yes , ofcourse they are not physically but mentallyalways with us

  7. I’m sure your grandma will be really proud of you. The biggest pain and fear in the world is losing someone you love, we’ve all gone through it. I’m in tears, not just because I understand the pain but because it’s my grand father’s sixth death anniversary today. Losing him was one of the greatest pains I’ve ever experienced and the guilt of not being present in Mumbai when he passed away kills me everyday. Dadu’s passing was a huge shock to us, we loved him like anything. Every death anniversary, we remember him and his memories are always with us. I wanted to post something on Wattpad for him but I broke down after writing one paragraph. Hats off to you for penning down your pain, it’s not easy to do it. I tried but failed. Always be happy, for her.

  8. Dear Pavi..It was so emotional os.I felt a pain on heart.You made me remember my grandpa who I losted before 4 months.Its too good.It reveals that you are too good in heart.Loving you always my dear sister.

  9. Arshiya_princess

    May her soul rest in peace
    U really great that u face everything bravely nd I know it’s not easy to loose someone whom u love
    Always stay strong dear

  10. Sunanda12345

    Hey pavitra it’s was amazing….I just really become emotional…while reading this…..may her soul get a peace and bless u from heaven…
    Don’t worry…be happy…u r grandmaa blessing are always with you

  11. Purvi128

    Hey darling,
    I’m thankful to you that you sent the link to me. It just touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes. ?
    I have no words to say and I can’t tell you what I’m feeling right now after reading this spectacular piece of writing. It is surely an amazing masterpiece.
    I won’t say I can understand your pain because you must’ve gone through a lot rather I would just say ‘I’m there for you whenever you need me’. It needs a lot of courage to write down your emotions. You can’t even put every feeling into words.
    You shared your pain with us, that’s a big thing.
    May your ammumma’s soul rest in peace. Let’s pray to God for her. May her soul rest in peace. ???
    Her blessings are always with you.

  12. Anuradha123

    Pabi it was really touching.. I can understand how much pain you are feeling in your heart.

  13. Rithwika

    Just loved it to the core mujhe mere papa ki death yaad aagayi the way you have written it is fantastic

  14. ShebaRS

    Hai Pavi.It was so emotional.???

  15. ShebaRS

    Hai Pavi.It was amazing but it was emotional ??

  16. Niyati

    I am proud of you my lil sis…u are very strong to write down this….I too understand this pain coz I too lost my grandma & grandpa….This make me emotional & as I told u I am a very emotional girl ….it’s touch my heart dear…Every emotion u write ….it is so pure …..I want to say u the last thing ….Stay happy dear because ur Grandma will happy if u are happy …..May her soul rest in peace ….lots of love to u ? ?

  17. Cgegeg

    It was very emotional pavi?..always stay strong gir

    1. Cgegeg


  18. Pavithra1616

    That mothers brother’s wife is not a daughter there!! She is a doctor there.. That’s one of the typing mistake.. There may be others but I only found this.. ??

  19. Qwerty123

    Its really gets hard without living with those who used to be a importabt person in your life ????… i am sorry i cant say that i can feel your pain because i never lost my close ones or those who passed away were never soo close to me.. and thinking to loss them makes me shiver

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