I wanna heart to die but not soul to live – episode 40

As i promised that next update will be on Tuesday so here it’s.

Ignore spelling, typo and grammatical mistakes and continue reading my ff

Note: before reading it plz keep tissue paper by ur side.


Shivavy in cracking voice Mainey kabhi kisi say kuch nahe manga per aaj SSO tujhse apni zindagi ki bheek bangta hoon meri zindagi mujhe lauta do maa meri Anika mujhe lauta do main us k bina maar jau ga.

Anika- getting uneasy

Dadi- where’s Shivavy?

Shakti- yes where he’s I’ve not seen him

Om- where he can go?

Pinky aunty- OMM where’s my heera beta gone. its all because of that girl she’s….

Dev shouted and whole hospital shivered just shut ur month Mrs Oberoi not a word against my daughter is that clear to u just shut ur month otherwise I’m going to forget that u r women. Mr Oberoi control ur wife and take her away from here. And Mrs Oberoi I’m waiting for my princess to get fine after that u see what I’ll do with u I’ve not forgotten nor let u forget

Nurse’s- what u guys are doing its hospital stay quite

Om- choti maa don’t say anything about bhabi and we all know its all because of u that both are aparted from eachother. Aarye ap k khushi k liye bhabi nay Shivavy ko chor diya aur ap aj bhi un ko bura keha rahe hai bas kar dy warna I’m going to show ur true face to Shivavy mind it

Pinky- see shakti g how they are humiliating me. Here my son is missing and all are blaming me

Shakti- come with me pinky

Dev- frown pinky

Rudy- O call Shivavy bhaiya where he can go. Don’t he know that Anika bhabi needs him

Om- calling Shivavy. Rudy he’s not receiving

Rudy- lets go find him.

Om- no rudy we can’t they all need us. Shivavy we’ll be fine I’m sure he wants to be alone he’ll come.

Gauri and bhavya- seeing Anika from glass.Anika di forgive us how bad we are.

Bhavya- Chanda di is right that we couldn’t understand ur pain u always want our happiness and we were stabbing u. Gauri di see how she’s laying i can’t see her like this why ur shankar ji always do this with Anika di what she has done that everytime she has to suffer.

Gauri- i can’t meet Anika di eyes I’m ashamed of myself how can i say those words to her. Di per kya guzar rahi ho ge. She never asked anything from anybody always gave but when she desired something from me i instead of giving her what she wished for. I killed her with those words u know bhavya this tongue is more poisonous then any other poison . And the day di came back from Canada we were poisoning her.

Devi g- dev its long time why Anika is not getting conscious ask Dr’s plz

Dev- maa doctor’s are doing some test so wait

Shail- gauri di i also want to see Anika di. See i can walk but I’m not tall like u plz mujhe bhi dekhaye

Om- come here champ I’ll show u r Anika di. O took shail in lap now see ur anika di.

Shail- why is it so that Dr’s are not letting us in. I want to talk to her. I want to show her that now i can walk not walk but i run so fast that i got first price in race too but she’s not talking to me.

Om pov- wow Anika bhabi sab ko jeetna sikha kar khud apni zindagi say haar maan li.

Shail- O, O what are u thinking ?

Om- nope but actually i’m thinking something

Shail- what?

Om- lets go and have some ice cream and some pizza u r hungry

Shail- Anika di ko bhi to bhook lagi ho ge na. Nahe jab woh khaye ge main bhi tab he kahu ga

Om- but ur Anika di said that shail is coming and tell him to have his dinner. Now come lets go

Dev- worryingly looking Anika from glass. Anu I’m sorry for raising hand on u for the first time i rose hand on u but beta I’m ur dad and the mistake i did before i don’t want u to repeat the same.

Chanda- gauri see its long time and dadi haven’t taken anything plz make her eat something i know none is able to eat but see dadi g she’s crying since long time so

Gauri- with watery eyes sat next to a devi g and put her head on devi g shoulder. Dadi, what if Anika di came to know that her dadi has not eaten anything nor u rest. She will like this dadi ?

Devi g- no she won’t like this

Chanda- then have it and she brought tea for every one and some snacks. Non was able to eat with tears in their eyes, heart praying for Anika.

Rudy- crying Anika bhabi/di nay subha say kuch nahe khaya. Main nahe kha sakhta.

Bhavya- dad call jeet uncle out or u go in plz dad

Jhanvi- bhavya beta come sit her and nothing is going to happen

Dadi- devi g why u guys didn’t told us before about Anika’s illness

Devi g- we also came to know it today. Yeh pagal to Canada wapis jaa rahe thi.

Dadi- what?

Devi g- haan and forever yeh to agar Shivavy, Chanda say na pouchta to aaj mainey apni boti ko kho diya hota

Dadi- but why Shivavy haven’t came back

Shivavy- crying in temple


After one hour

Dev- jeet what’s going on why Anika is not getting conscious

Jeet- dev i told u before that she’s internally and externally weak. See and have some faith she was suffering for major disease not flu or fever so it will take time

Devi g- dev what Dr’s are saying why Anika is not getting conscious

Gauri- yes dad its long time

Dev- jeet is saying Anu is weak so it will take time

Anika- with much difficulty open her eyes. Where I’m

Nurse- dr patient ko hosh aa gaya.

Dr- came outside, dev Anika got conscious

All stood up and smile of relief appear of their faces. Can we meet her dr

Dr- yes u can but plz don’t stress her

All rushed inside. Anika, di, bhabi

Song played in background

Chhote chhote khwaabon ko aa jodenge
Yeh bhi vaada na tumhein ab chhodenge

Anika turned her face towards them all were crying, eyes all swell. Anika in low tone why u all r crying

Jeena chaahein phir tere liye
Aankhein na pherenge

devi g- step forward hold Anika’s hand crying caressing her head beta yeh kya kar liya. Apni dadi say bhi gusa ho tum to mere ghar ka roshan diya ho jo apni roshani say andhero ko dur karti hai na k khud madham ho jati hai

Anika in low tone- took off the oxygen marks. Dadi plz don’t cry i can’t see u like this I’m sorry dadi for calling u by ur name aur woh ” diya” to kab ki bujh chuka tha”

Devi g- don’t say anything beta u rest

Anika- no dadi let me speak mere pas samay kam hai aur kehne ko bohat kuch hai

Devi g- don’t say like that Anika nothing will happen to u crying

Anika- call gauri and bhavya

Gauri and bhavya crying hug Anika di we are sorry for troubling u but don’t say like this if u r angry with us scold us

Anika- kiss them, how can I’ll be angry with my dolls and plz don’t cry listen to me. Took care of urself and dadi too.

Gauri- di why u r saying this when u r here why should i do that.

Anika- Gauri I’m not with u all and u r the eldest now so take care of urself , don’t let bhavya to eat peanuts and plz Shail is now ur responsibility

Bhavya- Anika di plz u promised as that u won’t leave us and why u r saying this aur ap ko kuch nahe ho ga bus ap jaldi say theek ho jaye its my order

Anika- Bhavya, don’t eat peanuts and Gauri di aur dadi ko pershan nahe karna and if possible resign from police job there’s no need to risk ur life anymore. Help baba in business

Devi g- Anika yeh kay bol rahe ho

Anika- dadi listen to me for last time after that u won’t be able to listen me. Anika was breathing heavily.

Gauri and bhavya ran outside crying

Rudy- bhabi

Anika- crime partner ?

Rudy- bhabi u still remember

Anika- off course rudy and listen now ACP bhavya is there so lower ur crime rate otherwise wise ACP will put u in lockup. Don’t make my doll cry.

Rudy- bhabi ap ko kuch nahe ho ga.

Jhanvi and dadi- Anika we all need u and above that Shivavy and u need each other

Anika- Shi…v…avy

Shivavy- eyes were close Anika came infront of him. Billu ji , billuji I’m going, billuji listen to me, kanji ankho wala .bagad billa…. Shivavy open his eyes and shouted Anikaaa. Shivavy start running

Anika- senses Shivavy calling her.

Gauri and bhavya- were crying and hug dev tightly

Dev- why u r crying see she’s fine. No dad, di is saying she’s going. Dev esa kesa jaa sakhti hai she’s lying to u.

Om along with Shail came there. Om what happened why u r crying. Gauri , omkara g Anika di got conscious.

Shail- what? And he ran inside, Anika di

Anika- Shail u here. Anika kiss shail. Shail too kiss her.

Shail- yes di but what happened to u di and see I’m standing on my own feet. Thank u di.

Anika- don’t need to say that shail and promise me that u will do everything on time and whatever u need ask Gauri and bhavya di to give u and now u don’t need my support. Shail do everything but never trust anyone

Omru glanced eachother

Shail- promise di and u know i won the racing game that UV bet me that he’ll win but then he lost it

Anika- with love listening to Shail. Rudy plz take him out now

Om- bhabi what’s this why u hid from us that u r ill don’t u even think about us and Shivavy

Anika- Om meri baat mano gay. Apni bhai ko ronaye nahe dena,

Om- bhabi

Anika- Om I’m going , this time forever and I’m going there from where no one gets back. Plz listen to me I’m requesting u. Shivavy bohat kamzor hai woh kisi say kuch nahe kehatey woh apni feeling bhi express nahe kar saktatey. Plz Shivavy say kehna apni ” tadi” ko kabhi na khoye aur humesha smile kartey rahye woh ” Smile Singh Oberoi hai not “Sad SINGH OBEROI”

Om crying- BHABI how can i do this and no one can handle Shivavy except u . Bhabi plz esa na bolaye hum sab ko ap ki zarorat hai.

Anika- Om samay nahe hai mere pas.

Dev- Anu what happened and ur r rajputani how can u talk about death. Plz Anu

Rudy- called Shivavy. Hello Shivavy bhaiya were are u bhabi got conscious plz come

Shivavy- I’m coming Rudy, I’m coming


Anika- BA…B…A

Dev- start crying vigorously and caressing Anika face I’m sorry for slapping u. Say it again Anu

Anika- when u slapped me ?

Gauri- sign dev

Anika- BABA forgive ur ANU i mis-behaved with u alot

Dev- no u didn’t now u rest we’ll come later. Dev turned to leave but Anika with much difficulty hold dev hand.

Baba I’m sorry baba


Saansein meri tu le le bhale
Ab na tumhein jaane denge

Dev hug Anika no Anu don’t say that ur baba needs u

Shivavy- ANIKAA

All glanced Shivavy. Gauri and bhavya ran towards Shivavy crying see bhaiya what di is saying that she won’t stay with us.

Anika- staring Shivavy


Shivavy start stepping towards Anika both of them remembering their the moments

Anika- Sh….i..vavy

Shivavy- Anika

All moved out


( note: Anika is not well and she can’t talk properly and all the conversation she’s doing with all is in low tone)

Shivavy with tears in his eyes sit next to Anika caressing Anika face. Anika kya main tumhare liye itna “AJNABI” ho gaya k tumhaye mujhse itna bada sach chupaye. Kyun akeli itna dard sehte rahe bolo Anika.

Anika dard kabhi huwa he nahe aur phir


Shivavy start crying and hug Anika tightly i’m sorry Anika mujh maaf kar do. Yeh sab meri wajah sa huwa hai. Tum mujhse nazar ho na I’m sorry Anika mainey tumhay inta dard diya

Ainka sshhh Shivavy maafi nahe mangaye aur main Anika tried to sit

Shivavy Anika kya kar rahe ho lati raho

Anika plz Shivavy hold me i want to sit. Shivavy helped Anika to sit. Anika tried to hug Shivavy but her hands were not moving Shivavy hug Anika and start kissing Anika

Anika Shivavy plz don’t cry in kanji ankho may anso achaye nahe lagtay aur Shivavy main ap say kabhi naraz thi he nahe

Shivavy- Anikaaa then why u stop talking to me

Anika- was still in Shivavy embrace and was getting unwell. Shivavy Main toh khud say he khafa hoon.

Shivavy- nahe Anika nahe

Anika- Shi.va…..vy

Shivavy- start rubbing Anika back have some water. Anika tried to hold glass but was unable to hold it. Shivavy with tears in his eyes made Anika drink it.

Bolo Anika kya kehna hai main sun raha hoon

Anika- Shi….v…avy mujhe jana hai ab

Shivavy- kaha jaa hai

Anika- Shivavy plz mere janaye k baad ap roye gay nahe aur na Sad SINGH OBEROI banaye gay

Shivavy- aparted from Anika and cup her face. Hey Anikaaa kya bol rahe ho aur tum mujhe is bar chor kar kehi nahe jaa rahe aur naa main jaye du ga. Dadi, dadi…….

All got shocked and step in what happened Shivavy

Shivavy- dadi dekhaye yeh kesi baataye kar rahe hai

Devi g- Anika beta hum sab tumhare apnaye hai …..

Anika- nahe dadi

” Mere Haathon Ki Lakeeron Mein Ye Aaib Hai

Mein Jis Shaks Ko Chu Loon, Wo Mera Nahi Rehta

Dev- “ANU”

Shivavy- nahe Anika nahe don’t say like that sab tumhare hai. Anika aur mere aur tumhara rishta…….

Anika- nahe Shivavy is rishtey may bohat “DARD” hai aur hum to phir bhi seh leti per meri “AATMA” aur nahe seh sakti.

Anika baba plz don’t go


All were in pool of tears

Shivavy hug Anika tightly hey Anika u r not going anywhere. Anika “argh in Shivavy embraces.

“JAANE DI JEAY SHIVAVY ” Hum aur jee nahe pa……. Anika start ” Sniffing “argh

Anika, Anika shivavy shouted doctor, doctor om call the doctor

Dev- jeet see something is happening

Dr- plz go out patient is getting critical

Shivavy no I’m not leaving her alone. Dr plz cooperate

Anika- chocking heavily

Dr- check bedside monitor its emergency

All were praying outside Shivavy looking Anika from glass

Anika having flashbacks of moment spend with all she took a long argh and close her eyes Shivavy came infront of her .

Song played

Nazdeek Hai Dil ke, Phir kyun lage milke

Jaise ho milon door ho
Jazbat hai anjaana, Mushkil hai samjhana
Apna hai ya hai ghair woh

Ishq mai adhura sa, rooh mai hai poora sa…
Dard hai saari umr bhar ka…

Dr- she’s sinking



Anika- heartbeat stop


Dr- give Cardiogenic shock to Anika

Anika- Jiggles

Dr- nodded ” No”

Jeet- step out

Dev- how she’s?

Jeet- put hand on dev shoulder. Dev I’m sorry we couldn’t save ur daughter

Dev- shouted Nooooo..

Bhavya kneely down and burst out into tears

Devi g- faints

Gauri- dadi

Rudy- hug om crying bhabi can’t leave us.

All were crying and ran inside

Shivavy- got still at his position “BAGAD BILLA”


Thanks to all of active and salient reader’s for ur comments and support

@ Anj, @Shivika1233, @Hamna,@ Lauren @ Nithu @ Banita @ Sharmin @ Nandni @ Niriha @ Nitika [email protected] @ Karishna @SatyendraSharma @Lipy [email protected] @ Shreya @Sairan @.Amy Shivika Crazy [email protected] Sorry If I Didn’t Mention Ur Name Guys But Thank U


Anika Is A Pure Soul Without Any Stain She Loved To Keep Moon Close To Her Heart But She Was Stained By It’s Own Sun Who At Back Give Light To Moon To Shine At Night But When It Comes Infront Of Moon It Called ” Lunar Eclipse”


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  1. Aashi9

    What a goodbye. I don’t want to stop reading. Be back soon with a new story.

  2. Alekhika20

    Beautiful update

  3. Very Emotional

  4. Emotional…..
    Plz come back with another one

  5. Lauren

    Too emotional… lovely… but sad ending??.. do make a come back with another one soon… will miss uhh dii…

  6. Toooooo much emotional. I will miss your FF. Come back with another one. Till then take care ? and stay safe ? And thanks for remembering my name.

  7. Its awesome but i think… You should post next part also to have justice with her death that happens because since pinky sin are left….

  8. Loved d episode…cant express myself rt nw…..??…ur writing skills n way of expressing d emotion brought tears in my eyes….loved ur writing skills…..btw will there be any sequel or epilogue…..

  9. Loved it… U said it before that it does not have a happy ending… So I well prepared from dt … Or else may b my hankie will be wet… Tq for such an beautiful ff… Come with another one soon… Till then miss u… Take care and stay safe

  10. Nikita_jai29

    It is very emotional ending..

  11. Nirmal Britty

    Please write one more episode to give justice for anika’s deadth by punishing her culprits especially that pinky.. I am not a regular reader.. I read all the episodes in one go.. No words are enough to praise ur work…

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