Unrequited love : pain of loving some one when its one sided

Loving someone is one of the most vulnerable positions in which you can be. You open your heart to another person and your best wish is for him or her to love you in return.

Unfortunately, life is not a Nicholas Sparks movie; love isn’t always reciprocated, and it doesn’t always end in a happily ever after.

I had to learn this hard truth, and chances are, you’re reading this because you have, too.

Sometimes, love isn’t a feeling you force upon yourself; it just happens.

When you start to spend more time with another human being, you expose yourself to whom he or she is — all the idiosyncrasies, past experiences, what makes him or her happy or sad, dreams and ambitions in life, flaws and the depths of his or her heart.


And you, in return, divulge your deepest secrets and desires. They know what it takes to make you laugh or feel special, and you build new memories together that make any torment of the past that much easier to bear. It makes you feel hopeful, and before you know it, you’re in love.

It is an incredibly vulnerable position because to me, loving someone entails giving away parts of yourself you lock up from the rest of the world.

We all have stories to which we quietly hold tightly and when you are finally able to reveal this to another person, it is a true sign of trust and a whole new level of intimacy.

Everything changes the moment you look at a person differently. You start to notice intricate details you didn’t before, like the curve of his or her lips, the frown line above his or her eyebrows and the way he or she laughs.

You realize how much you adore this person and what you would do to move mountains for him or her. Then, your heart starts to palpitate, fingers start to shake and it dawns on you that the next step won’t be easy — the declaration.


This is the scariest part. You either free your soul and spill, or die in torment to salvage whatever relationship you have. If you know for sure that how you feel is mutual, there is absolutely no risk involved. Otherwise, it is an excruciating experience that might make you wish you were hit by a truck.

The part where he or she tells you he or she doesn’t feel the same way or can’t date you for whatever reasons or is not ready to be in a relationship can be painful to hear. But, the reason is irrelevant — it still f*cking sucks.

Rejection is not pretty. It hurts. It brings on an onslaught of tears, heartache and self-loathing. This is the part where your shattered heart will start to ask questions like, “Why doesn’t he/she love me?” and your brain does this bullsh*t thing where it answers with, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not loveable” or “I’m worthless.”

The next thing you know, you’re in sweatpants with a tub of ice cream and you call in sick to work because you can’t get out of bed. Rejection can be immobilizing.

Then, you have to deal with the “giving each other space” thing so you can stay friends or “never see each other ever again” because it’s awkward. It’s almost like a breakup! Then, you mourn the person’s absence and wonder if he or she thinks of you, too.

Pls comment guyzz

Credit to: A friend of u


  1. nb

    Good analysis. Some more aspects I wld like to add. The relationship becomes sour when ego clashes start. When someone feels that he/she is the only one working for the family and the other one is enjoying, it starts. Love shd be unconditional irrespective of the other person’s likes or dislikes, deeds or misdeeds. One person has to start this sacrifice from his/ her side. One day or other the other person will fall in line. Hence patience and sacrifice are the words for a successful relationship. Argument may come that why me always? In the beginning of a relationship you only see good things in the other person. Rather you want to see or show only good things. But as the time pass by you come across various demerits and shortfalls physical or mental. This is not his/her fault. It was there inbuilt in him./her. Only thing is that you did not show/see it. Hence you have to start compromising him/her alongside his/her demerits to sustain the relationship. Why compromise? Because if you find problems with your child/ parent, you don’t leave them right. You try to adjust to the situation. But if you have a western thinking like if you don’t like your partner, change it as many times, you may not compromise.

  2. Unknown

    I agree WD u..One sided love is the most painful punishment in this world I think..one day your eyes met with his/her eyes..after repeating this for some days u find that its smthng different..he/she cares for other person..dn u become friend of him/her..u start to open up ur secrets ur liking and dislikings..he/she also sometimes tells abt his/her secrets..after some month f spending time together U start to fall for him/her..u just adore his/her smile,gestures everything.. he/she also starts to care abt u a lot..It bothers him/her when u are not around him/her..dn u fall madly in love WD him/her..u wanna have him/her always by your side..
    BT this is the time of destruction.. he/she tells u that he/she does not want to accompany u all the time..c/he starts to avoid u..BT In the mean time other person is madly in love WD him/her..and u always wait for her single cl or sms..BT noo..BL**dy reality hits him/her..one fine day He/she tells u that its just an infatuation or crush or he/she was just flirting.. BT another person was damn serious..he/she can die for him/her..BT nooooo..c/he already have a bf/gf..it hurts..it pains..???????? BT he/she didn’t listen anything.. Jane se pehle sirf bola “plzive on..forget me..”..it hurts..heart screams “Why me?? am not worthy for him/her?? wat fault I have??” BT none was there to answer u…BT still he/she can’t hate him/her..cz till now he/she is his/her HEARTBEAT..
    Its may be filmy..BT its my personal experience..it hppnd Wd me..Nw am alone..only living WD his memories..

    • Unknown

      He/she also shows jealousy, possessiveness,protectiveness towards u…Then how should I realise that its just crush/infatuation/flirting??? hw??? Can anyone tell me??? what mistake have I done?? What fault was there??! why he left me?? Is loving someone fault?? is it crime??? Tell me anyone..Why he left me?? till now am waiting for him..I know He won’t come..BT I CNT give his place to anyone..he was the first feeling f my first love..BT it crashes..my all dream shattered DT day..I wish him a happy life..wherever he is he just stays happy..???????????? it pains..

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