“That Unknown Feeling”- Chapter 26: Cold Thoughts

Chapter 25: Read Here

(Recap: Krishna accidentally feeds Tiger chocolate. Sayyam confronts her, enraged, and this ensues in an intense fight between them. Sayyam finally decides to stay away from everyone he loves)

To visit all previous chapters: http://www.tellyupdates.com/?s=That+Unknown+Feeling

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Krishna stepped out of the house, Suhani’s words ringing in her mind. A slight feeling of guilt had started to wrap its way through her mind, clinging on hopelessly, until she couldn’t shake the thoughts off. The way she’d acted with Sayyam hadn’t been entirely fair. She’d been wrong and now she knew that. She didn’t regret telling him to apologize to Yuvaan, but everything she’d said about his father had been uncalled for. She shouldn’t have made any assumptions about him or his father without knowing everything. When Suhani aunty had spoken to her about Sayyam, and his need to protect the things he loved the most and keep his feelings hidden- she hadn’t been able to completely understand it. She hadn’t been able to understand him. Everyone had a choice, she thought, to choose who they wanted to be, and Sayyam had made his. The least she could do was try to understand him; for Suhani Aunty’s sake.

She neared the outhouse, and heard a hushed voice from inside. Slowing her footsteps, she made her way towards the window, leaning forward so she could listen better. Peeking inside the window she saw that Sayyam was sitting on the ground next to the sofa. He was holding Tiger’s paw in his hands and whispering so softly, Krishna had to strain to hear his words.

“It’s all her fault; she did this to you, she’s heartless…manipulative. I hate her, I hate her so much but-”

Krishna’s eyes widened in indignation. She’d come here to apologize, but he? He was just so keen on hurting her with his words, with his actions. She hadn’t done anything on purpose, she’d never hurt anybody. It was obvious he’d never taken the time to understand her.

She stepped back and froze as she heard a twig snap under her foot. Her muscles tensed as she saw Sayyam’s head turn towards her.

So much for staying quiet.
_____

Sayyam sat beside Tiger, who was in a state of half-consciousness, his snout nuzzled into Sayyam’s shoulder.

Sayyam felt alone, isolated. He knew he’d done this to himself, he’d asked for this. But he couldn’t help but feel defeated. He knew without looking that his eyes were bloodshot from all the unshed tears he’d been holding back. The mask he wore seemed to be his best companion as of now. He could depend on it. It hid his emotions; his pain. He could get used to the façade he put up. It made things easier.

“Tiger,” Sayyam sighed, holding the dog’s paw in his hand. “Why do things always end up like this? Why can’t things ever just be normal for me?” Sayyam sighed, hoping for a response, receiving none.

“It’s all my fault Tiger, you’re my responsibility, if I just hadn’t- If I’d-” Sayyam raked his fingers through his hair in frustration at being unable to express himself. “I took it too far, didn’t I; I shouldn’t have said all that to Krishna, it only made matters worse.” Sayyam paused, a cold breeze flowing into the room through the window behind him.

“I don’t know what to think anymore; I keep trying to convince myself that it’s all her fault; she did this to you, she’s heartless…manipulative. I hate her, I hate her so much, but…but I know better, and that’s what kills me. If only I could go back to the start. I’d try; try to be good enough for ma, try to be good enough for everyone. I’d try to-”. Sayyam stiffened, hearing the snapping of a stray branch. Was someone there? His head instinctively turned to the side, trying to analyze which direction the sound had come from, and he stood up, making his way towards the door.

He opened the door, his eyes stinging from the chilled air blowing his way. He glanced around, exhaling in relief when he saw no one outside. A stoic expression made its way onto his face as he turned around, closing the doors behind him- shutting out the world.

Everything was fine. Everything would be fine.

He just had to keep pretending.

*****
Hey Guys!! I missed you all so much, It’s been an incredibly long time. I’m so so sorry; I hate giving excuses, so I’m gonna say this instead: I’ll be posting every week on Mondays and Fridays (and occasionally over the weekend if I can). Schoolwork is just takin’ the life outta me. Don’t worry about the length of this chapter, cause the next one is coming out really soon. Also, if I ever can’t post on a certain day, then I’ll always let you guys know through the comments. I’m going to try to be more punctual 😉

Love you all!
– Shreya <3

16 comments

  1. Prethiga

    Prethiga

    |Registered Member

    Hey… you are back… sorry for not commenting on the previous episode… looks like I have missed it went back and read it… you rocked this chapter too as always… loved it… again Krishna misunderstood Saiyyam… And the bond Saiyyam shares with Tiger is beautiful… Saiyyam is so lonely and Tiger and his MASK are his only companions… and I feel Krishna should have waited more to hear the whole thing or she shouldn’t have eavesdropped on Saiyyam… anyways loved the chapter and waiting for more of KRIYAM …

    • Fanficwriter

      Fanficwriter

      |Author

      Hey Prethiga, I’m so glad to see your comment, as always, amazing analysis. I really think that animals and humans can share deep bonds and be attached to each other; and for Sayyam, Tiger has always, in a sense ‘been there for him’. And through experience, he feels that everything is safer when he doesn’t get his feelings involved or show others his pain or isolation.

      Krishna was understandably curious, and she only believed what she wanted to, which is obviously going to create some problems on the future…
      The basis of a relationship is trust, so Kriyam gonna have to figure that out on their journey. Until then, it’s gonna be pretty rocky😉

      Thanks once again for commenting Prethiga, it means a lot😊😘

  2. Fidato

    Fidato

    |Registered Member

    Shreya… even with this short update…You are saying so much about their feelings, misunderstanding..All.. when they will patch up… Waiting for that..

    • Fanficwriter

      Fanficwriter

      |Author

      Kriyam will take some time Fidato, but I assure you that it’ll be worth the wait.
      🔥😍
      Thank you for commenting, I’m glad you’re understanding all the little details I add into my writing. 😘

  3. Muniya

    Muniya

    |Registered Member

    OMG!!!😲😲 such a big misunderstanding….
    U r really unpredictable Shreya…
    Loved the epi..😍😍
    Hope they sort out everything very soon..

  4. Shaz19

    Shaz19

    |Registered Member

    I have been waiting for you to update! Loved this again! I am a big fan of your writing, you are so talented.

    Both Sayyam and Krishna are hiding their feelings. Sayyam is pretending all the time, how long can he keep the mask on for? I’m sure Krishna will help Sayyam to be himself and stop hiding his feelings. I’m loving your FF and I’m glad that you will be updating regularly! 😘

    • Fanficwriter

      Fanficwriter

      |Author

      Thank you so much Shaz😘
      Sayyam and Krishna are going to need to learn to trust each other and share their feelings with one another, but we’ll get there soon🔥

      Glad to see your comment here Shaz, love you😘😇

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