Link for Episode-13: Episode 13
Finding Solace In You-
She was a museum, full of mysterious, colored abstracts, haunted secrets, far from empirical existence, but as they always tell you, life is ironic. He had his eyes closed. Maybe because her existence was oblivion, it belonged to no one. She belonged to no one. She was a free soul.
He pulled back with eyes still closed, cherishing her aroma. Twinkle opened her eyes to flash her gaze over his face that held nothing but peace. He seemed to be at peace. Mesmerised by his stance, she reached out to touch his face. The moment her finger tips came in contact with his cheek a smile crept up his lips. “Your touch is really soft.” Twinkle pulled her hand back with a jolt. Kunj opened his eyes to look at her, “I didn’t mean to offend you…” She shook her head at him in dismay.
Kunj reached for her hand and held it in his for a moment. “Thank you!” They both spoke in union and chuckled at each other. “Whatever for?” He asked her. “For everything.” She wished she could count all the good things he had done for her. “Don’t.” He disapproved because he didn’t want her to feel he was doing her favours.
Kunj glanced at the time by his watch and instantly got to his feet. He held out a hand to Twinkle but she looked at him in pure confusion. “This place is giving me weird feelings, if you want us both safe from something we might regret later, better get going. It’s dark and it’s not safe.” He emphasised on the word ‘safe’. He knew too well that it was he, she wasn’t safe with not the place or the dark. Twinkle obliged and slid her hand in his. He led the way back. Twinkle found it intriguing how he remembered the way back despite of hiking down here just once. It took her entire childhood to hike down here with her abbu to remember the track now.
On the way back home none of them spoke. Both seemed slumbering in their own void delusions. Kunj wasn’t sure where this entire proposition would lead him to. Somewhere within a chord of his heart, guilt twisted in him. He knew he had manipulated his own wife to give in her dignity, her morals. He was up for taking more but he wasn’t sure anymore if it was right or wrong? He shook his head from such thoughts and settled with the fact that it was Twinkle who let him in right from the beginning. And it was still her who let him see her in the most unseen form, touch her in the most sacred touches. She was his wife and he had a right over her. There was no space to argue right from wrong.
Days past and they both settled into a routine. Kunj was falling in for a need of her presence around him. He craved for her presence but dismissed the alien thoughts justifying himself by thinking that within a few months he’d finish all his canvas for the upcoming exhibition and then he’d let her go. He’d get back with his old routine without her intruding his house or his life more precisely. Little did he knew fate had something else in stored for them both.
He entered his studio after days and turned towards a black canvas. He stared at it for moments to pass. He wasn’t sure what he was doing could even be justified. Dismissing the elusive thoughts, he prepared to sketch his inspiration. Kunj was no more an artist on drought.
He picked up his lead pencil and started tracing from his memory. He had memorised how her eyes glistened in the specks of sun rays, how her smile reached her eyes every time she did something she liked, how her hair flowed in streams of blond around her. He had memorised every single detail that she let him see willingly and now that seem more than enough for him.
He had completed his base sketch of her. Kunj picked up his color palate and started to mix certain shades of oil paints. He mingled the colors to get her ivory skin tone and fill in the sketch of her with shades of life. Next he traced her lips with his thumb. It felt so real to him. He painted her plum lips, her rosy cheeks with a sprinkle of very few freckle that were hardly visible unless she stood in bright illumination.
He painted long strokes of her dark brown hair, adding the glistening effect to it. Smiling from pure satisfaction, he had achieved what he wanted. Finally he mixed shades of green and brown to inject a soul into her eyes. The eyes that intrigued him the first time he had glanced into them. Eyes that held many secrets, many stories that she had lived so far. He painted her eyes a hazel color, giving them a living illustration by finishing touches with a white gel pen. The iris gave a glassy look and seemed very much alive. The smile he in craved into his canvas looked very much cherished.
He wished he could do the same to her practically. Imprint a smile onto her lips that would never leave. But the devil that he was, her ending was going to be hurtful. Not as hurtful as her past but enough to make her believe that all men are in slaved to their desires. Incarving her into his canvas was his desire. He promised himself silently to at least try explaining his actual intensions to her in the end and take full responsibility of her security and needs after letting her go.
His heart felt heavy with the damage he was going to do her but life is never just, that’s something he had already learnt and maybe she had too. He stared back at his canvas, the oil painting of Twinkle looked very vibrant with colors and life. He knew it’d make a good addition to his art for the coming exhibition. People will find her as mysteriously deep and beautiful as he had.
He rubbed clean his hands with a cloth and smiled at the small glass with black water from all the infused colors. After a year of frustration finally a day arrived when his painting didn’t drip from the pitch black water. He laid down the cloth, set the painting in the corner where he kept his completed paintings to dry. Today he didn’t need a maid to clean up a mess he made. Today there was no mess made, nothing gone wasteful. He smiled at his little success but this wasn’t the end. Twinkle had to give in a lot more to him and he was all but patient with her free will.
It was past midnight that he entered his bedroom, now their room. He saw the light still flickered on. With a frown he turned to search for her. She sat in a resting chair at the corner of his room reading a book. He observed her for a moment and then investigated, “Why are you still up, I thought you’d be asleep by now?” She glanced up at him confounded, “I didn’t hear you come in?” She answered his question with a question. Kunj walked towards the bed and seated himself. “You were too indulged in that book to notice.” He replied her lightly.
“Oh this?” She held the book up in the air to let him see it, “It’s Qur’an. I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to disturb you while you were in your studio so I thought I’d recite instead. It makes the heart at ease.” She gave him a soft smile. He knew what the Qur’an was but had never read one or heard anyone read it. “I’ll go clean the mess in your studio, all the maids would be asleep by now. Waking them up would be cruel.” He couldn’t help but laugh fondly at her kindness.
“No need to. There is no mess today.” She put away the book she called the Qur’an and looked at him unsure. “No mess?” She asked. “No mess.” He assured her. “That means finally you painted something?” Twinkle didn’t know about his inspiration or the reason behind his proposition but she knew about his drought and his upcoming exhibition.
“Consider it a yes!” He informed her with a genuine smile laced in his husky deep voice. She walked towards him and glanced at him. His brown eyes looked very much alive at the moment. “Well then I’m really happy for you.” Kunj didn’t know why but her appreciation vaguely made him content.
“Then can I see it?” She innocently asked. He stayed quiet and she searched his face for traces of offending him by such a simple wish. “On one condition.” He finally concluded. Twinkle laughed at that, how could she miss the fact that Kunj was after all Kunj. He did everything on conditions and profits. He never did anything reasonless except for marrying her but little did she know. “And what that maybe?”
He seemed thoughtful for a moment and then spoke, “You let me paint you.”
And the silence was so deafening that Kunj wanted to keep his hands on his ears to stop that shunned noise.
She opened her mouth to protest but found nothing to tell him. She didn’t want to turn into those shameless models who stood hours in same poses for artists to memorise and exploit each detail of their physical bodies.
Kunj sensed her growing panic. He sighed before letting out a soft chuckle and took her soft hands in his, “Relax Twinkle. I didn’t mean it in that way, I won’t do that to you or to anyone. I meant it in just paint you as it is. There exist many potraits of females that are very decently painted. Art always doesn’t mean exploiting a person’s body in explicit ways. From personal likings, I’m against such art. I find it morally offending. No one has the right to paint so crudely. There can be a lot to a person than their explicit form. Like their vibrant eyes, their genuine smile, their wholehearted laugh, so many such innocent expression of art.” He gently explained it to her.
“Do I have to sit like a statue for hours?” She tried to change the subject for she was feeling highly uncomfortable. “Maybe yes, and you might go stiff and sour later from all the sitting.” Kunj teased good naturedly. She slightly pushed him however he caught her wrist and pulled her to his chest wrapping his arms around her waist before keeping his chin on her head whilst she earned herself his rich laugh.
Twisting sleeplessly in bed, Kunj faced Twinkle. He traced her cheek bones with his thumb. He traced her lips with his index finger and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Can’t sleep?” Twinkle asked with closed eyes. Kunj flushed with embarrassment but most of all he felt guilty for waking her up. “Want help?” She asked again. Kunj looked at her confused, how could she help him fall asleep? He thought.
Twinkle snuggled in closer to him and took his hand in hers. She looked at him and found him already staring at her. “Close your eyes.” She ordered and he instantly obliged. She started reciting Sura’ah Yaseen to him. At first he frowned at the unknown words from a language he didn’t understand but her voice soothed the twisted chords of his heart. The recitation reached his heart and affected him in ways he wasn’t conscious of. With the tips of her fingers she gently soothed the propping vein of his forehead. By the end of her recitation, he was fast asleep like a child being coaxed by sweet lullabies. After all every men possess a child within himself.
She stared at his ripped arms flexing with strong authority. A frown engraved onto his stern features. His jawline strong and firm from seriousness of his concentration. Twinkle observed his every reflex, he was smooth like water but at the same time hard to grab. He worked with reeking passion.
Twinkle painfully twisted abit in her seat. “Don’t.” Kunj warned her in a deadly growl. Her body was starting to feel sour from hours of being seated in the same pose. Kunj moved his hands swiftly over the canvas he was facing. Eagerly he painted each detail of her. From how the sunlight from the window behind her back illuminated the strands of her hair making them look chains of gold, how her eyes shined like the deep color of a dark sea, how her ivory skin glowed in the light shaded sundress, her collar bones peered sternly through the open neck of her sundress. He had insisted she take off the jacket and headscarf. Twinkle didn’t seem to mind. He was her husband and he had seen her without them plenty of times already.
He continued to paint her with immense enthusiasm. Kunj used little of his brushes and more of his finger tips to paint. By now his hands were covered in different shades of his inspiration. He noticed her reeking with tiredness. Fastening his reflexes he took twenty more minutes to complete his finishing details of the portrait. Finally he was staring at a satisfying piece of art that spoke volumes of his inner desires. The portrait looked very much lively. He cleaned his hands off the paints and walked towards her. She seemed to be in a deep slumber with eyes open.
Twinkle was scared to move a single muscle. She feared that if she flexed abit, it might earn her Kunj’s displeasure and earning the displeasure of the artist who is flexed of carving you into his blank canvas, isn’t a very great idea after all. Kunj moved towards her and took a seat beside her on the sofa. Carefully he brought his hands to her delicate shoulders and started massaging her tensed muscles. “Relax…” He gently offered her. She shifted herself with a sigh of relief and placed her head heavily over his chest.
He held her firm against himself rubbing her back with his palms. It reminded him of the first time holding her in place like this when he found her unexpectedly in his kitchen. A smile crept up his face. Her warm body fitted with his like pieces of jigsaw. The thought soothed his tensed up mind. “Remind me to never agree to any posing offers again. This is a killing job to do.” She complained with tiredness.
Kunj’s grip tightened around her like a possessive husband. He had quarter of his life around models and celebrities. Never he wished to see Twinkle in such exploited vulnerability, opened to the world and their obscure intimidating glances that shred away each substitute that covered a woman, though he knew Twinkle meant something else.
“You won’t pose for anyone but me.” He stated in an authorised voice. “Okay but if you refrain from making me sit in place like this for hours. These were the longest hours of my life. I can’t even move now without hurting.” She innocently told him back on which Kunj looked at her apologetically. “I’m sorry.” He bent to kiss her on the head and slowly stood straight. Twinkle seemed dishevelled abit. “Want to see what I painted?” She eagerly nodded. He let out a hand to her and she took it. As she started to stand straight, her balance troubled and he had to keep her from falling. Twinkle gave out a humorous chuckle at her clumsiness.
He took her to the painting and she stood before what seemed like her carbon copy. Her eyes travelling across the painting and she admired his skills. “It’s tremendous, you’re gifted with natural talent.” She couldn’t find heavier words than that to describe how she felt about the painting. With slight smiling, Kunj put aside the painting to dry off and replaced another blank sheet over the stand. Twinkle watched him with perking interest.
“Let’s see what skills you’ve got Mrs. Kunj Fateen?” He held out a painting brush and a palate with many different colors on it. “Seriously?” She asked him in a startled voice. “Very much, use whatever you may want and show me what you’ve got.” He tried to mock her. Twinkle crossed her arms over her chest and eyed the blank sheet, the palate he held and then him. She pledged in thought for a while. “If that’s the case, then let’s start this. I can use anything I want right?” She asked and he nodded with a small smile.
As a kid, Twinkle and Azeen would play with colors and paint a lot. She recalled a technique that she had invented during her childhood. It was her personal creativity and she wouldn’t cease to flaunt it before Azeen. She smiled at the sweet memory. She took the color palate from his hand along with the brush and put it aside. “Now you’re my art model and you’ve to stay quiet while I do my work like I was when you did yours.” Amusement flashed in his voice and he raised his eyebrows biting his inner cheek to suppress the wide grin off his face.
She took Kunj’s hands in hers and turned it’s palm up. His stretched out hand gave her more surface area than her own. She started painting on the palm of his hand using different colors. Kunj watched her with pure interest.
After a few moments she was done with painting his palms, she took his hands and pressed his painted palm across the plain white sheet. When she removed his hand, a pattern of flowers and leaves was imprinted over the blank sheet. She held his hand again, rubbed it clean and started painting on it again. She repeated the entire process. The second pattern very much linked with the first one and looked like a continuous painting. She silently continued her technique and he didn’t protest. After an hour or so she was finally done with her piece of art. She seemed satisfied with herself and looked up at him. “There, I did my art.” She proudly announced.
Kunj stared at a hand patterned painting that had flowers of too many different colors and kinds with trees and leaves. He was staring back at a scenery that was painted with such creativeness. He was clearly amazed. “You don’t ever failed to surprise me Twinkle.” He shook his head at her. In the back of his head he made a mental note to use this technique for one of the portraits.
“So did I qualify as a wife to the famous and brilliantly skilled artist Kunj Fateen?” She teasingly asked him. Kunj chuckled at her pulling her to his chest which was now his favorite thing to do and nodded placing his chin on her head before sighing. “You’ve qualified Mrs. Kunj Fateen.”
Thank you very much for reading.
Hey lovelies! Here you go with another update. Things are going to get twisted now so buckle up your seats;) Also next one will be the 15th episode of this story so planning on something special obviously… Though I don’t know when I’ll be going to post it as somethings are going on in my life and I’m kinda jumbled up:/ but know that I’d never want you all to wait for the update and will write as and when I get time. Just be patient:)
Apart from that this episode was really tiring. I mean my thinking ability has given me an answer so need some rest now Lol! However your comments will energise me for sure so don’t forget to write few words regarding Kunj’s actions and Twinkle’s immense trust on him^_^
Also thank you really very much for the response you’ve given in the previous episode. I’m so touched the way you guys prayed and the way you guys praised me… Just can’t thank you enough:’) May Allah bless you all. Stay awesome till next time;)
Love you all<3