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Total Nonsense (Shivika OS) by Sanchi

87

WARNING: READ THIS CRAZY STORY AT YOUR OWN RISK๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜‰
STARRING:
ANIKA: The heroine
SHIVAY: The hero
DAKSH: The bad guy a.k.a villian
RANVEER: Super-Cop
PRINKU: Wife of Super-Cop
RUDRA: Don’t know what he is
OMKARA: Director

SCENE 1:
PLACE: In the middle of nowhere
Daksh has kidnapped Anika post knowing the truth about her marriage to Shivay. Anika who was unconcious till now wakes up takes in her surroundings. It was a faintly lit room with the source of light being a solitary window. She goes towards it and looks through. At first she doesn’t see any land, everything is blue. Then it hits her that it’s just sky, so she looks down.
To her extreme shock she finds herself looking through the window of a high tower. Daksh was lurking at the base of it.
Anika:(bellowing) DAKSH!!! Tujhe koi aur jagah nahi mili thi kya?
Daksh: (surprised)tum jaag gayi?
Anika:(irritated) to kya main bas soti hi rahoon?
Daksh:(thoughtfully) I don’t mind really, main bhool gaya ki tumhe maine kidnap kyun kiya tha!!
Anika:(rolling her eyes) Maine tumhe chodkar Shivay se shaadi karli thi, yaad aya?
Daksh: ha right!! Thanks ha..
Anika: mention not, ab batayega bhi ki ye tower mein mujhe kyun leke aya tu?
Daksh:(blushing) well, I like fairy tales so, mujhe Rapunzel bahut pasand hai. To jab bhi main upar ana chahoon main tumje awaz doonga like “Anika! Anika! Apne baal neeche daalo, mujhe upar ana hai.”

Anika: arey O bina subtitle ke japneese picture, mere baalon ka size dekha hai na tune? Is khidki ke bahar bhi nahi jaayenge
Daksh:(wide eyes) maine iss bare main socha nahi..
His rest of sentence is cut off as both of them hear a noise from the nearby bush. Daksh hides himself from the intuder in one of the trees. Soon the noise becomes clear and there comes our hero in his Crisp white button down shirt, black pants and a black blazer. Wait! He is riding a CYCLE!๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ฎ(UNEXPECTED)
Anika:(happily) ye hui na baat, mera hero aa hi gaya
Shivay gets down from the cycle and throws it like one of his cell phones. Does his signature ek chutki sindhoor wala step
Shivay: Fhat the wuck! Yahan par sirf jhaad hai, tower kahan hai?
Anika:(annoyed) Oi 1000 aankhwale antaryami Shri bagad bille maharaj ji, peeche mudiye
Shivay:(whistling) wow! Tower kafi lamba hai. Hi Anika! Kaisi ho?
Anika: (sarcastically)Arey main to itni unchai par akele andhere main itane maze kar rahi hun na kya bataun ab apko!! APKO KYA LAGTA HAI MAIN KAISI HOON!!??
Shivay:(wincing) Come on babe, ab itna chilla kyun rahi ho, tumhara hero aa gaya hai tume bachane ke liye (and he does the Shah Rukh Khan pose)
Anika:Ab aap sirf tadi hi marte rahoge ya mujhe neeche utaroge bhi?
Shivay: What’s with the language?
Anika: Hindi is the language.. ab aap kuch karoge ya main help karo karke fb pe post karoon?
Shivay:(with full attitude) Main Shivay Singh Oberoi hu, main kuch bhi kar sakta hoon…
Anika: bas ab bahut hua ,main super cop ko bula rahi hun

SCENE 2:
PLACE: Somewhere in big city
Prinku: baby batao na main iss saree main kaisi lag rahi hu?
Ranveer: bahut khoobsurat jaan..
The phone beeps shrilly begging for Ranveer’s attention. He looks at the new fb notification
Prinku: what is it baby?
Ranveer: Anika ne naya post dala hai, she has been kidnapped aur use ek tower main kaid karke rakha hai
Prinku: Here show it to me? (After looking at the pic) OMG!! Anika isme kitni moti lag rahi hai, tum jao aur use bachake lao. She needs my help in dieting.
Ranveer: Oh jaan tum sabke bare mein kitna sochti ho.
The super cop stands up and tears away his clothes like Salman Khan. Underneath he is wearing a dark grey t-shirt and tight shorts of the same colour. His waist holds a heavy belt with R written on the plate in bold black letters. A shiny black cape rests on his shoulder which is billowing behind him in the wind. He picks up the shades from the table and wears them. Quickly stealing a kiss from his wife our hero sets forth to run and save Anika but..
A VERY TINY PEBBLE COMES IN HIS WAY
The amazing super cop stumbles and falls down hurting his toe terribly in the process. Still he gathers all his left over strength, gets up and limps to rescue THE HEROINE.

SCENE 3:

PLACE: Middle of nowhere again
Shivay: You know babe main Oberoi khandaan ka bada beta hun
Anika: ha tum ye baat abhi 25 baar bol chuke.
Shivay: oh! Maine tumhe bataya ki maine pichle hafte vo kiya tha?
Anika:(shouting) tu mujhe bachayega ki nahi ab bagad bille?
Shivay: well babe, plan mein ek problem hai.
Anika:(raising an eyebrow) kya?
Shivay: main na urgency mein rassi lana bhool gaya.
Anika:(shell-shocked, camera shows and zooms on her face 5 times) WHAT!!??!!?
Shivay: he-he, Ek kaam karte hai, tum jump maro vahan se main tumhe catch karoonga.
Anika: main kya cricket ki ball lagti hun tumhe..
Daksh is watching their interaction with blood red eyes. His ears are emitting steam. He just wants to finish off Shivay then and there. Suddenly out of thin air a gun appears in his hands
Daksh: oh wow! Bhagwan ne meri sun li.
??: Bhagwan ne nahi maine tumhari sun li.
Daksh:(bewildered)who is there?
Author: HA HA HA! main hun iss kahani ki WRITER
Daksh: my lucky day, mujhe aur charming banao na please, like that Anika mujhse pyaar karne lagegi.
Author: chal hat! Pagal dikhti hun tumhe main? Shivika mujhe pasand hai yar!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜
Daksh: well shit! To main tumhe maar dalunga.
Author: vo gun kaam nahi karegi
Daksh:(confused) kyun?
Author: beacause yeh meri kahani hai. Main jo bolungi vahi hoga isme. Tumhare liye ek important kaam hai.
Daksh:(surprised)What?
Author: tum abhi China jaaoge aur vahan se you will steal great wall of China for me.
Daksh: No I will not go, kya kar logi tum?
Author:(menacingly) main tumhe murga bana doongi. No wait, I will turn you into a bunny, pink coloured dressed in tu-tu and ballet flats.
Daksh:(shivering in fear) NAHI!!! Main tumhara kaam karoonga
Author: That’s like a good boy, now go! Happy journey.
Out of nowhere a bright intense blue light hits Daksh and he is transported to China in the blink of an eye.
Author: that was my teleportation ray.. (evil laugh) muahhhh muahhh๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ๐Ÿ‘ฟ

SCENE 4:
PLACE: CHINA
Daksh:(appreciating) wow! Ye great wall toh sach mein great hai. Hmm but how to steal it. Chalo try karta hun.
Daksh tries to lift the great wall with his bare hands. He puts all of his strength in doing so. Cold sweat breaks on his forhead but he doesn’t give up.
You know he forgot a little detail that great wall of China was little bit heavier than that of earth’s population(sigh!!!) Poor fellow!!
Daksh: don’t tell me you forgot this little detail.
Author:(sheepishly) sorry!
Aggravated Daksh looks around and he spots a small ice-cream shop at the corner of the road. Smiling jubiliantly he goes to the shop to buy and eat ice-cream
Daksh: please give me a Chocolate cone.
Shopkeeper: here you go sir, its 30 dollars
Daksh looks into his pockets and finds only a needle, thread and some buttons
Shopkeeper: sorry sir you can’t have it.
Daksh: please I really want to eat one (puppy eyes)
Shopkeeper:(glaring)no means no!
Daksh:(menacingly) You know what I am taking this ice-cream and another two boxes.
And just like that he takes the ice cream in both hands and leaves from the shop without paying. SO EVIL!!
SCENE 5:
PLACE: Beneath the tower
Shivay: Oh god! Iss hawa se to mera hairstyle kharab ho raha hai
Anika: main yahan mar rahi hun aur tumhe hairstyle ki padi hai, ek din vo sir ko chipak ke nahi baithegi to tumhari height kam nahi hogi.
Shivay:(warning) height ke baare mein nahi
Anika: usme kya koi khazana hai?
Shivay:(exasperated) Samjha karo yaar! Mera touchy topic hai(winks at the camera)
(SCREAMS OF FAN GIRLS ARE HEARD IN THE BACKGROUND SHIVAY! SHIVAY!)
Before they could continue Ranveer the Super Cop limps out from one of the bushes.
Anika:(concerned) kya hua Ranveer?
Ranveer: kisine raste mein pather raka tha (glares at the author)
Anika:(melodramatic) main tumhari first aid kar deti Ranveer, par kya karoon main yahan upar phasi hui hun.
Ranveer: Don’t fear when Super Cop is here.
Anika sighs dramatically at him and flutters her eye lids suggestively. This infuriates Shivay
Shivay: Come on Anika babe, main hero hun yahan par, tum mujh par concentrate karo na.
Anika: ha wait Shivay, main thoda Ranveer ko to dekh lu.
Shivay: mujhe dekho main kitna handsome hu, smart hu, intelligent hu..
Anika: ha bas height thodi si kam hai..
All this time Ranveer is looking around for a way to rescue her but fate wouldn’t have it. So, his cell chirps again
Ranveer: Hello?
….
Ranveer: KYA??
….
Ranveer: ok main abhi aa raha hu
Anika: kya hua sab theek hai na?
Ranveer: vo actually Anika, Daksh ne China mein ek shop se Ice cream chura liya hai, so mujhe jana padega. Tumhe bachaneka program kal-parso kar lenge..
Before she can utter another sentence Super cop runs away.
Shivay:(smirking) Then there were two, So go on a date with me(flashing a billion dollar smile)
(HAAYE!! MAAR DALA)
Anika:(taken back)o…ok..
but her eyes fall on something in the distance.
Anika: what is this, OmRu are on a drinks break
Shivay: Seriously?! Aur hamein bataya bhi nahi, chalo lets join them
Anika: good idea.
Saying so Anika takes the stairs which were present in the tower from the start. They walk to OmRu hand in hand. Soon enough Daksh too joins him licking his ice-cream
Rudra comments looking at the couple
Rudra: finally Shivika mil hi gaye??!!
Shivay: Shivika!??
Rudra: ha Shivay+Anika= Shivika
Anika:(smiling)ha mil gaye
Rudra: vaise Daksh Great wall of China kahan hai?
Daksh: bahut bhari tha yar, isliye use vahi par chod aya.
Om: ok guys pack up
Daksh:(shocked) Wait!! This was just shooting???!!

THE-END
So I was just lying in my bed tossing and turning, unable to sleep when this idea hit me. I couldn’t sleep till I penned it down. Its completely nonsesical probably. I have exams looming so its a total stress buster๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ. Do tell me how it is; don’t forget to comment.
Until next time ta-ta

87 Comments
  1. Mrunal

    comment karana chahti hu par ruko pehale hasana toh khatam karlu…
    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
    u know i am reading it in night and i am like ROFL…
    i am twisting an turning in my bed while laughing and my younger sister kicked me twice and warned me to sleep properly… lolz…๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

    what an epic OS….๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘
    hats off to u dear….

    itana comedy kidnapping ka drama…
    daksh kya bachpan mai sir pe gira tha kya annika ko rupnzel banana chahta hai….. balon ki length toh dekh le idiot….

    and what a conversation man kidnaper ke saath aisa koi baat karata hai bhala… par chalo yeh toh apni annika hai kuch bhi kar sakti hai…

    abhi jara 1000 ron dilon ki dhadkan apane hero pe guar farmate hai… ek toh kya dhasu entry mari cycle pe aur usako bhi fek diya… abe ab ghar kaise jayega sso…
    uper se biwi awaj de rahi hai aur sahabzade kon balon ki padi hai…
    like seriously.. biwi chilla chilla ke thak gayi aur ye rassi bhul gaya toh yaha pe kya bhajan karane aya tha kya….

    abhi batao kare bhi to kya hamari bechari annika….
    akhir kar fb pe post kar hi diya proof ke saath… supercop brother in law ne dekh liya par hayee ye nanand bhi na isako dieting ki padi hai bhabhi kidnap hui usaka kuch nahi….

    abhi supercop ranveer jate jate ek pebble se takraya to bacchu limp karate hue hi sahi par at least nikla toh sahi bechari annika ki help karane ke liye…

    BTW kya entry mari author ne…
    gun toh dedi par kam alag de diya…
    aur kya sahi blackmail kiya…
    seekh daksh kuch seekh author se bada aya kidnap karne wala accha hua great wall of china churane ke liye bhej diya cheepde ko… bada aya billu ki annika ko le jane wala…

    author koi baat nahi choti choti galtiya hoti rehti hai…. kya hua agar tum detail dena bhul gayee.. kam toh karna padega na… par nakhare toh dekho isake… kam to nahi kiya upar se ice cream stall se ice cream leke bhaga chindhi kahi ka….

    abhi super cop aa toh gaya bachane ke liye par uss kambkhat daksh ko bhi usi wakt chori karani thi… to ye khotya hamari anni ko bolta hai tumhe do teen din baad bachata hu abhi china jake ata hu….
    chal hatt khotya.. ja bagh kam ka na kaj ka dushman anaj ka…

    abhi suddenly madam ko apane devar dikhate hai… who r chilling out toh inhe yaad ata hai…
    arey yaha pe tower mai to seedhiya hai… to heroin bhagati hui apane hero ke pass aa jati hain…
    phir dono jaise garden main ghum ke aye hai aise haath mai haath dal ki nikalate hai….

    phir hayeee cute cute devar apane bhaiya bhabhi ko tease karate hai…

    and finally shivika mil jate hai…
    par wait ye pack up kyu bola pheww ye shooting tha…ohh god jiska director hamara long hair wala creature tha…

    aur daksh ko to pata bhi nahi tha abe dhakkan toh itani der se kar kya raha tha tu aiyvee bada aya villain banane…

    hey don’t mind yaar but i tried to comment in ur way….
    hope u will like my comment..
    & i am very sorry for late comment
    actually i am late latif of tu i read ff after 7 – 8 days after from the day that posted…. it happens bcoz of my busy schedule… once again i am sorry…

    1. Sanchi

      Really loved your attempt at copying me..
      I am controlling my laughter after reading it, thanks dear..
      Kya karu main bhi lamba chauda kuch likhna chahti hu but abhi time nahi hai, some other time

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